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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

March 30. Gal recorded his latest Rancid Sounds podcast on Friday with guests Teddie Dahlin, Phil Templar and Superyob’s Frankie ‘Boy’ Flame, 97, plus some genuinely terrific tracks from Stiff Little Fingers, Bishops Green, Chris Pope, Rust, Nick Welsh, The Antagonizers, Laurel Aitkin, the Evil Turkeys, The Outfit, Superyob, The Warriors, Jonny Cola & The A Grades, Epic Problem, and Close Shave. It will be up and running at Radio Litopia sometime today. The show was recorded at Litopia because Total Rock have lost their pub basement studios – they’ve been moved on more times than an out-of-tune busker. So please don’t send CDs to the Cape Of Good Hope. Afterwards the merry band met up with Lorraine ‘Mudkiss’ Reeves and Chelsea Dom at a Baker Street boozer for a brief but pleasant session, cut short only by the need to head back to Chislehurst to film the final scene for the ‘Revenge Of World Cup Willie’ video... the single is still due out on April 7th...

The Gonads Website
DAHLIN boys: Teddie, Phil, Gal & Frank – there’s a gag in here somewhere.

Gal’s new audio book Riff-Raff, Rebels and Rock Gods should be on sale by Friday 4/4/2014. Described as “a journey through the glory years of Sounds”, it packs in Iron Maiden, The Specials, Rose Tattoo, the Angelic Upstarts, Ozzy Osbourne, The Exploited, UFO, Twisted fuckin’ Sister, the Selecter, Hanoi Rocks, Judge Dread, Ritchie Blackmore, the Cockney Rejects, ZZ Top and more... watch this space for details.

The PM (praise him!) is back from Boston where he has been attending to urgent Midget Protection League matters. The grey sage of Zampa Road also found time to take in a few Dropkick Murphys’ concerts, testifying that Matt Kelly and the boys are “second to none.” He adds: “Every show was fantastic and the last gig they did was in a small pub type venue just outside Fenway Park, where they played the Do Or Die and Sing Loud Sing Proud albums in full. They were absolutely top drawer!” Bejaysus, to be sure, we shouldn’t wonder.

Gal and Wattsie are to wed! Yes the Renee and Renato of Geezer Rock will tie the knot later this year – but relax divorce lawyers, it’s only on film for Gatwick Gangsters. Fat Col is already anticipating the “vigorous and physically demanding” honeymoon montage, and has offered his services as a body double, which is ridiculous. Col is 5ft 7, 18 stone and ginger, he looks nothing like Wattsie. In other movie news: Pete Haynes aka Manic Esso has written a scene for Steven Berkoff in Ricci Harnett’s new film, involving a struck off doctor treating Carlton Leach after he over-doses on Charlie. Although where you can get enough decent gear to OD on these days is beyond us; the stuff you get in English pubs is cut to shit, writes our own correspondent Cara Delevingne.

Viewers of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, were either shocked or pleasantly surprised when Gibby Haynes from the Butthole Surfers joined Jon Stewart last Tuesday with author Amy Yates Wuelfing to reminisce about New Jersey punk venue City Gardens, where Stewart was once a barman. No doubt an irritatingly smartarse, sardonic one.

Gig news: New York hardcore herberts Agnostic Front are back in Blighty this Summer. Their dates kick off at Rebellion, followed by Aug 11: Dundee, 13: Buckley, 14: Newcastle upon Tyne, 15: Edinburgh, 16: York, and ending with the London City Invasion with Conflict and The Business on 17th... and the next SkaMouth fest has been confirmed for 21st – 24th November.

Not punk at all: our old mate Bruce Dickinson has just splashed out more than £270,000 to buy the 'world's biggest aircraft', a HAV Airlander which is a smidge under 100 yards long – 20 yards longer than a Boeing 747. Seesh, and they say sports cars are penis substitutes! (Although Col reckons his ten inch cock is a substitute for his sports car). The Airlander weighs 38 tons, can carry 50 tons of cargo, but flies at just 100mph. Bruce told Top Gear: “I want to get in this thing and fly it pole to pole. We'll fly over the Amazon at 20ft, over some of the world's greatest cities and stream the whole thing on the internet” – which sure beats watching West Ham, or Charlton come to that.

A big turn-out for the Soul Driver – Ocean Colour Scene book launch in Holborn Studios on Friday, including the likes of Rick Buckler! Tom Hardy! Cass Pennant! And er, Spizz who apparently spent some time giving Hardy acting tips... if Stalin remembered to book a photographer we might even read about it one day...

March 22. Morning chaps, we’re only popping in once a week at the moment, so there’s plenty new to tell ya about. First off, the SkaNads are just hours away from finishing ‘Rude Boy’s On The Rise’; this cracking song will be available in mid-May as a vinyl split e.p. with Girls Next Door to be called Rude Boys, Rude Girls. Our cheeky spin-off combo have also written another belter called ‘Deep Probe (Shona & The Space Man)’ which will see the light of day on their debut album. Meanwhile half of the SkaNads are featured in the video for ‘The Revenge of World Cup Willie’ – they’re getting more work than we are! The glorious football anthem, shot last Sunday, also features terrace herberts from as far afield as Newcastle, Coventry, Brum, and Watford as well as most London clubs... it’s England United... behind Stief! The final scenes are shot this week...

In the meantime, the Gonads are rehearsing and DMG are recruiting... the dawn of Geezer Rock is but weeks away. We’ve even had a decent review for Glorious Bastards from Tom Chapman here.

Not to be out-done, Wattsie has teamed up with Tim Jones, ex of the Noxious Toys, to write her own musical selfie; the chorus goes along the lines of: ‘I'm Wattsie Watts/I’m a bit of class/And you are just a wrong un/And I want more than a crafty grope round the back of Woolwich Common... ’ We don’t know who this song is aimed at, but why is Fat Col blushing?

All four of the brilliant Oi! This Is Streetpunk compilation albums will be given away as a fifty-track CD with Vive Le Rock magazine this Summer. Pirates Press won’t be selling the CDs directly but some will be available through indie record stores, and we will have a limited quantity to sell via the Nads shop... The full track listing is expected to be: NOI!SE ‘Coming Storm’, THE OLD FIRM CASUALS ‘Blood Suckers’, KNUCKLEHEAD ‘Boomtown’, LOWER CLASS BRATS ‘America's Standard’, MARCHING ORDERS ‘Minimum Wage’, CONTROL ‘High Time I Hung Up My Boots’, YOUNG OFFENDERS ‘Trelawny's Army’, 45 ADAPTERS ‘What’s Right?’, SYDNEY DUCKS ‘Esprit de Corps’, HARRINGTON SAINTS ‘No Justice’, BOOZE & GLORY ‘Until The End’, THE BUSINESS ‘Here’s Johnny’, RANCID ‘Fuck You’, MARCHING ORDERS ‘Something More Than This’, STREET DOGS ‘Greed’, STOMPER 98 ‘40 Jahre’, THE CLICHES ‘They’ve Got To Go’, ARGY BARGY ‘This Is Me’, FLATFOOT 56 ‘Work For Them’, RAZORBLADE ‘Live & Die’, STRANGLEHOLD ‘Double Set Trigger’, BROKEN HEROES ‘Walk Tall’, BOOZE & GLORY ‘Paradise’, THE GONADS ‘Go Motherfucker’, BAD CO. PROJECT ‘Mission Mohawk’, EPIC PROBLEM ‘Not Dead Yet’, RAZORCUT ‘Combative Attitude’, DIRTY FILTHY MUGS ‘Drinks On Me’, BONECRUSHER ‘Fight For Freedom’, CRASHED OUT ‘Get A Life’, THE SHAME ‘Daytime Drinking’, RUNNIN' RIOT ‘End Of The Line’, STRANGLEHOLD ‘Trouble’, CUSTOM FIT ‘Love Hate’, TWOPOINTEIGHT ‘Cannibal’, STRONGBOW ‘Almost Gone’ – plus all the tracks from Oi! THIS IS STREETPUNK, Volume FOUR which is out in 14th April, line-up announced soon.

Last weekend was action packed. SkaMouth was sensational again, and the Rejects live rendition of The Wild Ones rock album, with Vince on bass, went down a storm – and not a quiet one either. The lads also played ‘The Rocker’ and ‘Penitentiary’. One fan tells us “I’ve waited over thirty years to hear those songs performed live and they didn’t disappoint.” So will that be the last we hear of them? Not if we’ve got any say in the matter... By the way if you’re reading this in the US do NOT buy the Rejects live show tickets that are currently on sale – the dates were never finalised and the band are not coming over this Summer. Meanwhile Gonads US dates in early July are still planned but not yet confirmed. Come on, Todd, sort it fella!

The Gonads Website
The great Roy Ellis with Christine Sugary Staple at SkaMouth...
the old moon-stomper returns to London Club Ska at the 100 Club on 7th June.

In Gatwick Gangster news, Gal and Wattsie are filming two more major scenes over the next six weeks as millionaire ‘businessman’ East End George and his cheeky but sophisticated PA Lucy Linfield... according to Fat Col one of the scenes involves a large chopper, that “has seen better days but still rises to the occasion whenever needed.” (Unlike his own ‘Max Clifford’ – Janette Gannon)

Richie Rocker tells us The Crows’ latest gigs are in Liverpool and Amsterdam. He says: “What more could you want, a city full of drugs and prostitutes? The other gig is in Amsterdam.”

Random guff: Hooligan Dublin’s new ditty ‘Cops & Robbers’ inspired by Jacques Mesrine is now up on YouTube – have a butchers at the burly French cop 1min 43 seconds in, does he look familiar to you?... Hollie Cook’s new album is out on 12th May... coming soon: the new album from Rust: Doctors, Lawyers, Strippers & Fools (released 1st April)

Cryptic Corner: Dear Stacey, Thank you for the cucumber, and the instructions on how to use it...

R.I.P. Scott Asheton, the Stooges drummer who died of a heart attack last Saturday, aged 64.

West End audiences were shocked on Wednesday when our Gal appeared on stage during Spamalot armoured-up. We think he was playing Sir Knight Who’s Not Appearing In The Show tonight although he could have just been modelling his new stage gear for Rebellion...

The Gonads Website
Joe Pasquale knows a song that’ll get on yer nerves...
Gal knows dozens of ’em – Greaters Hits vol 1 and 2 still available from the shop page.

March 16. This blog is off-air for a few days, take it easy folks and as Phil Esterhaus used to say: “Let’s be careful out there.”

March 15. Fat Col today launches a drive to find new flag girls for the Gonads’ 12 Bar show in May. He says: “I am looking for performing artistes; jugglers, contortionists and fire-eaters are particularly welcome, as are burlesque dancers.” Col dismisses claims that the flag girl position is ‘sexist’, saying “It’s up to her what position she takes, I’m easy.” Oaf. He goes on: “Really, the term ‘flag girl’ is antiquated now. I am looking for skilled entertainers and the job is open to all, even double-jointed pensioners, Wattsie’s aliens or full-on transvestites... after twelve pints of wallop you tend to stop caring.” Double oaf.

The video Stief’s world cup single, ‘The Revenge of World Cup Willie’ is recorded tomorrow on a closed set in beautiful downtown Charlton. The song is available as a download from Monday 7th April. Guest singers include Gal and Neville Staple and the collective name for the project is English Pride.

Last night’s Rejects gig was “a triumph” according to our man on the scene, the Beast. The lads played their Wild Ones album in full live for the very first time at the BH2, with Vince Riordan making a guest appearance on bass.

Pussy Riot’s Maria Alyokhina and Nadia Tolokonnikova have launched a prisoners’ rights group called Zona Prava (Law Zone.) Nadia said: “In our country, as long as cases of prisoners’ rights violation take place, we are sure that there will be a need for our organisation.”

Random guff: Kenney Jones and Friends will perform Small Faces anthems at London’s Modstock next month... Murphy’s Law’s 1991 album The Best Of Times has been re-issued on vinyl and CD by I Scream Records; the vinyl comes with a full digital download; CD version comes with an extra track... Reel Big Fish hit the UK in July and August playing July 6th: Sonisphere (6/7), July 12th – Princess Pavilion, Falmouth, July 13th – Nass Festival, Shepton Mallet, August 1st – Y-Not Festival, Matlock, Derbyshire, Aug 3rd – Kendal Calling, Lowther Deer Park, Aug 10th – Boardmasters Festival, Newquay, Cornwall.

STOP PRESS: Jamaican dancehall star Vybz Kartel has been found guilty of murder. Kartel (real name Adidja Palmer) was charged with the 2011 murder of Clive ‘Lizard’ Williams and tried at Kingston's Supreme Court. Prosecutors said Williams had been beaten to death after being lured to Kartel’s house in a row over two missing guns. His body was never found. Shawn Campbell (aka Shawn Storm), Kahira Jones and Andre St John were also found guilty by majority verdict.

March 14. Controversial developments as Wattsie Watts announced last night that “aliens are amongst us”. After spending an evening sharing wacky baccy with The English Beat, la belle Wattsie assured us that aliens are “for real”. Her evidence was as follows 1) Ancient pyramids 2) Cave paintings of ‘UFOs’ 3) The TV documentary series Star Trek: The Next Generation 4) The observations of the renowned philosopher David Bowie, to wit: ‘There’s a star man waiting in the sky, he’d like to come and meet us but he thinks he’d blow our minds’ 5) Her own semi-suppressed memories of being “deeply probed” by an “unearthly monster” in Coventry (Stop this, it’s too silly – Waistrel). Wattsie’s Beat review will surface in the next issue of Street Sounds, Martians permitting.

Hilariously, our old nemesis Paul Devine once appeared on an ITV documentary claiming to have been abducted by aliens who kept him in “a five-cornered room”. Cobblers of course but they paid him so well for it even he was tempted to pay for a round. Sadly the temptation passed.

March 13. Gal and Nads super-fan Nellie were accosted tonight at the Jimmy Jones show in Dartford by women of a certain age demanding “more Gonads gigs in North West Kent”. Blue collar comedy legend Jones, 76, also discussed the possibility of the Gonads opening for him on tour. We’d be in good company – Jones fans include Iron Maiden, Quo, Keith Emerson and, um, Prince Philip. But how would pensioners react to the full-on attack of ‘Alconaut’? (Charlie, Frankie, any thoughts?). Maybe it’s a job for the SkaNads.

Me First & The Gimme Gimmes release their next album Are We Not Men? We Are Diva! on Gal’s birthday, the 13th May, on Fat Wreck Chords. This is thought to be a complete coincidence but we thought we’d mention it in time for you to buy him a present.

Why is the PM in Boston? We’re forbidden from telling you, but let’s just say for once Midget Protection League business has taken precedence over Prankster affairs...

March 12: The long proposed Gonads rarities compilation edges slowly towards reality with news that Fat Col has found an audio cassette of ‘Antigallican Last Bell’ – it’s not of sufficient quality to release, but it is clear enough for us to be able to reproduce it at some stage. Other 70s songs guaranteed to make the cut include ‘Ripper’s Delight’, ‘Red Army’, ‘Darling Harold’, ‘Filthy Rich’, ‘Whelks’, ‘Mystic Meg’, ‘Give Her A Dog For Christmas’, ‘Oh! Zoe Bailey!’, and ‘The Legend of Sam Bartram’. The jury is, understandably, still out on ‘Say What You Like’ but Clyde’s 1994 Cotton-Eyed Joe style remix of ‘Lotto’ will not be included. Says a tearful Col, “Antigallican takes me right back to the summer of 1977, what a song!” What a twerp.

Our fraternal buddies Maninblack are STILL at #1 on ReverbNation's NYC Punk charts. They’re also crashed back into the regional top 40 at #36 with a bullet. Remember, says André Schlesinger: “Every time you click on the link our manager Gal skims a little off the top... ” Maninblack headline New York city’s Double Down saloon on 30th April.

Out now: The Terraces’ album The Season So Far on Rebel Sound Records, said to be packed with “songs about the honesty of working class life: unbridled football passion, street-life serenades written about suburban life; anthemic yet snarling punk at its raucous best.” Also out now, Bored Teenagers Volume 7, featuring rare UK punk tracks from The Singles, In The Gym, Katz, Chaos UK, The Hobbs and many more...

March 11. Here's a shot from yesterday's SkaNads' studio day, and a chance to pick your own caption: a) Gentleman John reacts badly to the recording session's last minute scrapping b) When we asked John to get a new 'axe' for the studio, we didn't quite have this in mind... c) John misunderstands Wattsie's request to show her his chopper...

The Gonads Website

Random News: supporting the Gonads at the 12 Bar in May will be the fabulous Featherz and the Hideous Bitches (Wot? Is the Growler coming? - Fat Col)... out now and extremely rare: 'Idle Threat' by the Skabbs, seventeen 'lost' tracks by the Skabbs, from Hermosa Beach, California, recorded in 1977/78 - includes 'Who Killed The Kennedys?' and 'You Are The Hillside Strangler'...

March 10. The SkaNads are in the studio today, recording their brand new number ‘Rude Boy’s On The Rise’ for a split single with Ska duo Girls Next Door... more reports will no doubt follow. As of last night though, it looked like Gal would have to be stretchered in after sustaining painful back injuries while rock-climbing in Kent. We hear he lost concentration when the Charlton Boys rang his mobile with the Blades/Addicks score halfway up the slipperiest part of Toad Rock. It was almost a case of Brokeback Mountain (in the broken back sense only, before Esso gets excited). Fat Col got higher than everyone though, he was on skunk. (Incidentally Toad Rock is the scene of the first murder in Gal’s new novel Facedown; judging by his tenuous grasp of maths the local landlord is still getting away with murder to this day).

With regret we have dropped ‘FrankenSkin’ from our set. Said Fat Col: “The song does not fit the band’s new direction, and on stage the creature has gone from menacing if slightly camp monster to great flouncing nitwit.” Frankie will be killed off in a number called ‘The Death Of FrankenSkin’ (with a video filmed in Berkley Square). He will be replaced by new song/character ‘Son Of FrankenSkin’. Let’s take a moment to recall the all-time greatest FrankenSkins: 1) Gentleman John – staggeringly good when he played the beast in Swindon, or at least staggering, he’d necked our entire rider 2) FB – masterfully scary at the 100 Club 3) The Beast – no-one who saw his PND display will ever forget it, truly he ‘wowed the crowds in Old Berlin’ 4) Stief A’Billy – Duncan Norvelle meets the Hammer House of Horror 5) Pavel – our Russian mate, don’t know what he did to the crowd but he didn’t half terrify us; it looked like his critter might annex Crimea and probably IKEA at any minute. To the others who have played Frankie: thank you and gawd bless ya! Col is convinced the character mask is cursed. He tells us: “Four out of five people are transformed when they put that face on. It’s weird. It’s a bit like that film The Mask, except they don’t get magical powers, just an inflated sense of importance. It’s evil I tell ya, evil.”

Good news! The great Neville Staple yesterday added his unique vocals to the dance mix of Stief A’Billy’s World Cup single ‘The Revenge of World Cup Willie’. The great man is now looking for a collective name for the single – possibly Glorious Albion, England’s Dreaming, English Pride or even Tudor Tone. This is looking promising, we hope the excitement doesn’t go to Stief’s head.

Out Now: Steven Dilodovico and Amy Yates Wuelfing’s book No Slam Dancing, No Stage Diving, No Spikes: An Oral History Of The Legendary City Gardens which tells the story of Trenton, New Jersey’s City Gardens club. Interviewees include Henry Rollins, Ian MacKaye, Tesco Vee, Peter ‘Hooky’ Hook, Jello Biafra, The Dickies, Agnostic Front, and many more. With photos by Ken Salerno and a foreword by Mickey Ween. Published by DiWuelf at $29 a pop.

March 9. The first London show for the slim-line Gonads line-up is confirmed: it’s 31st May at the 12 Bar in Denmark Street. Supports to follow...

Big Jim Brooks is reforming the Ejected for a few gigs this year and possibly an e.p. The East End Kids’ first gig is being announced tomorrow... not too far from home...

The near-legendary first version of the Dead Kennedys’ In God We Trust, Inc album is out now for the first time on vinyl. Recorded nearly 33 years ago, the original tapes were buggered, but a video feed of the session survived and that’s now up for grabs.

March 8. GRROC Update in headlines: The Gonads and the East End Badoes to play joint shows... London's 12 Bar Club and Awkwright's Bar in Rainham to host the first gigs, perhaps as early as Easter time... joint single "discussed"... other bands "poised to join bandwagon"... Donkey Laugh "tempted"... SkaNads say "Don't involve us"...

GRROC fever is sweeping the nation, write our own correspondents Dee Lewded and Tab Lloyd. "The movement, also known as G-Rock, Geeze and Generation YTF, is picking up steam amongst those disaffected with the narrow backwards-looking confines of other genres. GRROC'ers reject the dumb-arse politics of what they call a dying scene and chose instead the pursuit of nirvana through fine wine and extra-strong lager... " (Continued Sidney Arms)

Random but Actual News: Gal finished doing the pick-ups for his Riff-Raff, Rebels & Rock Gods project today. More tantalising details soon... Epic Problem (featuring Mackie from Blitz) are back with a limited edition 7inch EP called 'Lines'... Bad Cop/Good Cop's new 7" 'Boss Lady' is available for pre-order from Fat Wreck Chords now... Disorder's The Singles Collection LP has been reissued by Radiation, and includes the UK hardcore outfit's three early 7" EPs ('Complete Disorder', 'Distortion To Deafness' and 'Mental Disorder' plus the eight-track 12inch 'Perdition' (once accurately described as "sounding like "shit" by the legendary John Peel.)

The phone rings. It's Stief. He's landed us a supporting role in a play. Great, we say, where? John O'Groats, he replies. Who's the star? He is. How much does it pay? Not actual money, but we'd get a case of crabs from Cromarty Firth at the end of the week. And how would we get there? He'd drive. He's thought of everything. Twelve hours in a van listening to Steps and Stief's own ditties on a loop-tape for a walk on part in an am-dram production... why, that's surely worth more than mere money. After weighing up his generous offer for all of five seconds we can only say "Haud yer wheesht, ya balmpot; awayyego."

March 7. Back in stock! The 'Live Free, Die Free' eighteen track vinyl double album is finally available again from our shop page. It has two songs more than the CD version - the original 'Franken-Skin' and the demo version of 'Charlton Tel's Stag Weekend' - as well as more superb zombie artwork by Sucker from Oxymoron. Hurry while stocks last!

The Gonads Website

March 6. Lord Waistrel has declared that the Gonads are “no longer an Oi band.” In a shock statement, leaked without any consultation with the group, the arrogant aristocrat announced that “The Gonads are in the vanguard of an exciting new cross-generational rebel scene.” Asked what the new scene was, his Lordship rocked on his feet for a moment and said simply: “GRROC” before vomiting into a champagne bucket. GRROC? What could this possibly mean? We approached a professional rock critic, Adrian Titt who demanded £50 for “expenses” before explaining that GRROC “could well be a contraction of Ger-Rock, which itself is probably a contraction of Geezer-Rock.” Pushed on the matter, for a further £30, he suggested that GRROC is a form of street-punk played by “bad-tempered ’erberts of all ages and backgrounds... It’s Giffer with attitude, bigger songs and better groupies... but also with credit card bills, mortgage arrears and parking fines.” Titt cited the Gonads and the reformed East End Badoes as the leading figureheads in this new “non-political, pro-human” street movement. And who are we to argue? Up the Gers! (Now you’ve done it – Ed)

March 5. Exciting news from Jeff Turner who is launching his own spin-off band The Outfit shortly. The gifted Custom House based trio will raise a few eyebrows in Oi circles however, as they’re not punk at all, but modern urban pop with reggae and soul influences. Think heartfelt inner city lyrics with air-play friendly sounds. Joining Jeff are Louis Bowers, a hip-hop, soul and drum and bass whizz-kid, and Wayne Maynard the guitarist from East End Promises. The Outfit will release an eleven track debut album called The Forgotten Class this summer. Their website is coming soon.

The Gonads Website

Here’s Gal with our new guitarist Phil Badoe during his first full rehearsal last night. The marathon session took place in a studio located in what some have described as “a dogging car park near Dartford” – which may explain the absence of Wattsie Watts, she probably had ahem ‘other things’ to do. Rhythm guitarist Gentleman John moved to bass for the practise set with Paul SkaNad standing in on drums. The sound was “rocking” according to music expert Fat Col, and more intense rehearsals will follow before this slimmed-down Gonads line-up play low-key gigs inside the M25. But do not fear. The full Gonads line-up will return later this year, we’re told, after Phil has “bedded in” (with the band presumably and not with the Yeti). Then John will go back on rhythm guitar, with Mick Maverick on bass. We might even have two drummers – Paul on stage with us and South Coast Steve in another venue, in another city, preferably in another country...

March 4. Gal’s latest podcast is up and running right now on Total Rock, with guests Rhoda Dakar and Angie Brown, plus songs from Booze & Glory, Stief A’Billy, Control, the East End Badoes, Chris Pope, Secret Affair, Dave Wakeling, Kill For Eden, The Angry Agenda, the Damn Vandals, the Versatiles, System Of Hate, Bad Manners and a whole load more. It’s all about as laid-back and smoothly organised as a fist-fight in the House of Fools. Hear it here.

The London Intl Ska Festival returns to the capital over Easter next month (17th-20th April) with fifty acts from around the globe across fifteen venues. Headliners include Horace Andy, Derrick Morgan, Keith & Tex, Ken Parker, Mad Professor, Dennis Bovell and King Prawn. And on top of all that the organisers have launched The London Intl Ska Festival Collectors LP series, which features nine exclusive and limited edition vinyl albums from acts performing at this year’s events. These comprise of such renowned legends as Dennis ‘Blackbeard’ Bovell, as well as lesser heroes the Phoenix City All-Stars, the Goldmaster All-Stars, The Sidewalk Doctors and The Indecision... Only 100 hand-numbered copies of each album are being manufactured. The first twenty of each come in an oak box-set branded with The London Intl Ska Festival logo. Buy them from here. For show tickets and line up details go here.

A campaign objecting to “rampant sexism” on this blog led by long-time fan Sandra Lane has won the unexpected backing of Fat Col. “There just ain’t enough on it,” observes the chunky Confucius of Charlton Village. Oaf.

March 3. Today kicked off with an intense song-writing session between Gal and Mark McMighty which has produced two brand new SkaNads songs – ‘Rude Boy’s On The Rise’ and the more serious ‘Standing Strong’ – at least one of which will be recorded next week...

Random News: Dave Grohl has joined new supergroup Teenage Time Killer, a combo put together by Reed Mullin and Mike Dean of C.O.C., Jello Biafra, Corey Taylor of Slipknot, Keith Morris of Black Flag and Lamb Of God’s Randy Blythe are also involved. The band’s name comes from the Rudimentary Peni song... Randy, C.O.C. & Corey would have tickled us more.

Loyal Gonadettes, led by the ravishing Wattsie Watts, have rallied to Lord Waistrel’s cause and are now working as bunny girls to raise cash (and other things – Fat Col) to pay off a “ruinous” tax demand apparently “imposed by the treacherous Treasury” to “line the pockets of Brussels fat-cats.” Suggestions that this is all “demeaning, sexist nonsense made up to titillate vulgar-minded readers” are too insulting to merit a reply.

The Gonads Website

The Bitch has been less than kind about the new San Miguel advert featuring Stief A’Billy. “No wonder Estrada is out-selling it,” she sniffs. “Carlsberg don’t do San Miguel ads but if they did they probably wouldn’t use Stief... they’d use actual A-list celebs... ” Meow!

The Gonads Website

March 2. Yesterday’s Pranksters’ deluxe weekend break-away and ladies night, “incorporating Mexican fine dining”, in Kent was reportedly blemished by the activities of a black-hearted maverick known locally as the Phantom Head-Shaver of Pembury Road. This vile creature struck when senior lodge officials were in a state of advanced meditation (shortly after chucking out time last night) and shaved off their locks. The effects were first noted at breakfast this morning when a distraught Effete El streaked through the lobby of Big Dick’s Halfway Inn screaming “Oh no, he’s balded me!” Security officer Martin Sporrell (aggressive gooner) was then heard bellowing “I’m balded too! The little fucker!” Fear and loathing spread rapidly through the hotel as brethren woke up to discover that they had suffered the same awful fate. Some even blamed the long banished ‘enemy within’ Paul Devine (round-dodger) for the outrage. Said an ashen-faced PM (whose fine locks were unharmed): “Pembury has become a city of terror – even though it’s not actually a city. We are now officially in a state of alert.” So mote it be.

The Gonads, as any fule nose, run at a significant financial loss, so Lord Waistrel was horrified to receive a “ludicrous” tax demand from HMRC yesterday. His Lordship has urged the band to raise cash urgently “by any means necessary” to see off this menace and we’re proud to report that Wattsie Watts has risen to the challenge. She has also shimmied, back-scuttled and gyrated to it... as this exciting picture shows...

The Gonads Website
Shona gets to work to pay off shock ‘pole tax’ demands

The spiffing new Stiff Little Fingers album No Going Back is out now as a download... CD and vinyl versions to follow...