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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.


Sept 26. This blog is closing down for a week or so, but before we eff off we thought you’d like to know that Gal’s solo project is on! Gal’s personal manager, Harvey Gardens confirms that the veteran Gonads singer will be recording a three or four track debut ep next Spring. Gal is said to be aiming at “a mix between Max Romeo and Donald McGill with a side order of Ian Dury” (Or was it Ian Paisley?) PA Fit Bird whispers that the band will include “McMighty, a proper old-school Ska rhythm section and some bird who plays the saxophone.” Gal may also re-unite with his old songwriting partners, life-time Gonads Tony Feedback and Clyde Ward when he gets around to finishing off the songs for the album, due to be recorded next summer. Gal and Tone are due to meet up in Bromley tomorrow night for a slap-up ruby, with Nads manager Wattsie Watts, and plans may well be made. Fit Bird reveals: “We’re just hoping that Tone turns up as himself and not his man-eating alter ego Sharron Stiletto – the ladies’ loos in the Tamasha are covered in scenes from the Kama Sutra, who knows what might happen!”

Oi! Calling all foreign promoters: this is the way to get our interest! An enterprising booker from Milan has just invited us to play Italy - not by offering money or women, but by sending this picture of a bottle of Eyetie punk ale. The man is a visionary! Italian gigs in 2012 now seem extremely likely.

Newsflash: the Gonads street-rock spin-off DMG will be officially launched next year. The five-piece band, described as a youthful cross between Rose Tattoo, Slade and early Maiden, will be managed by Gal who will not be performing with them. Auditions will be announced shortly. Says FB: “A high standard of musicianship and reliability will be expected.” Auditions will be open to all.

Experts said there was more chance of finding the Higgs Boson than Terry Hayes’s Desert Oi-Land List, but all you naysayers and non-believers can take it all back because here, finally, after a mere 73 weeks of waiting are the PM’s song choices:

Punk & Bitter

Unchained Melody – Elvis Presley, Peggy Sue Got Married – Buddy Holly, Breathless/Me & Bobby McGee – Jerry (Killer!) Lee Lewis, That’s Life – Frank Sinatra (“Memories of great singers and the very early 1960s at my Nan’s house, and her frequent and regular family parties: aunts, uncles and loads of cousins and family friends all on the lash, my Mum on the old piano, sing-a-longs, crooners and rock’n’roll; these parties were legendary to say the least! That was when the East End was the East End”!); Psalms – Roxy Music (“my heroes from the early 70s, I just lost this song, I got their first eight albums and thought that was enough”), What’s The Frequency Kenneth? – REM (“great bass riff, great band”), Lonely Man – Gregory Isaacs (“The lyrics are the best he ever wrote, this is just one of any number I could have picked by him; my all-time favourite solo reggae singer”), Forever – The Dropkick Murphys (“My favourite band of the moment and of the last twelve years; in my opinion they are untouchable, I chose this song because my daughter sings it so well.”)

The PM’s book “has got to be the good book, The Bible, I never read books until I found God some years ago”. Film: On The Waterfront – “Terry could have been a contender a bit like me self LOL!!”. Box-sets, World At War 1 and 2 – “I never stop watching them, well only when I watch the Only Fools & Horses box-set.” Tel also sent a vintage photo from the early eighties (sadly unusable) showing himself “as Peter Perfect, and Gal as Peter Sutcliffe”. He adds: “AV SOME!!!!!” Indeed. Lovers of Tel’s band the East End Badoes will be delighted and intrigued to learn that he has reformed the ORIGINAL line-up and will be recording a brand new 7” single very shortly. Which would mean, gulp, SKULLY’S BACK!

Sept 25. Hmm. Today’s big Gonads album planning session didn’t go quite to plan, after various band members “over-indulged” on Saturday night and didn’t come round in time to make the meet. (“What was that about Professionalism again?” – The Beast). Oh how Leah and Fit Bird laughed as they threw away half the food they’d made for us. Mercifully 1) the beer didn’t go to waste, and 2) The planning meeting went on anyway as The Beast and FB helped Gal decide on the sixteen classic Nads anthems which will make the cut for Greater Hits Vol II. At the moment, these are extremely likely to be 1) Go Mad With The Gonads 2) Sandra Bigg (Really Big) – with, reports Fit Bird “a brand new middle and end, written by Gal” 3) The Joys Of Oi! 4) England In My Blood 5) Oi! Nutter 6) Getting Pissed (“the Ska version with a brand new bridge and ending”) 7) Oily Rag (“an extended version with real bollocks”) 8) Got Any Wrigleys John? (“pure punk for row people”) 9) Karl Marx Supported Millwall 10) These Are Our Streets (hc!), 11) She Can’t Whip Me (“tough and tuneful”) 12) Stop That Drumming (“unrecognizable from the original and thank fuck for that!”) 13) Lager Top Blues 14) Beki Bondage Please 15) Eat The Rich 16) Hemorrhoid; bonus track: the original version of Beachcomber, unavailable since 1978.

Effete El has been over at Oi! The Weekend in Karlskona, Sweden, watching Argy-Bargy, the Infas, Perkele, the Agitators, Volxsturm and more with Jenny Woo playing the pre and after-show parties. He may write something about it, he may not. You can’t push a man like El, not with his family connections.

Finally for now, 2000 Tons Of TNT is confirmed for 2012 on Sept 1st and 2nd, with a Friday pre-fest show, all in Hartford, Connecticut. Our message to any bands approached to headline is: support this event if you can. The guys behind it are proper people, not parasite promoters. They are doing something positive here and deserve the backing of all our scenes: Oi, punk and Ska. Says one of our many mates in the States: “People have been really crazy over TNT. A couple got tattoos in tribute afterwards. America really has needed something like this for awhile. There's just been a lot of flakey US promotors and UK bands being booked but not showing up – they know who they are!- so the organisers have earned trust and respect now.” No word on who will be playing yet, but we’ve seen the wish list and it’s looking HOT. In an unrelated story, provisional plans are being worked on for a Gonads USA mini-tour of the eastern seaboard. Whatever that is.

Sept 23. Today on Desert Oi-Land, London's latest challenger to the punk pathetique crown - Bradders from Monkish.

Bradders

Brad's eight songs are: Get Over You - The Undertones ("possibly even better than Teenage Kicks, which I love") Amphetamine Blue - The Vibrators ("best song they ever did"), Jilted John - Jilted John ("super catchy - the best novelty punk single ever"), Darling, Let's Have Another Baby - Johnny Moped ("a brilliant piece of song writing"), Suzy Is A Headbanger - The Ramones ("not one of their most famous, but sums up exactly what they're all about"); and a few more obscure UK gems to satisfy the record collector geek in me: 4AM - Das Schnitz ("Pure teen angst by these Torquay Grammar School boys"), Airline Disaster - The Shapes ("one of the first pathetique bands, Leamington Spa's finest"), 9 O'Clock - The Now ("the opening of this song makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end - great 1977 punk from Peterborough").

Brad's film is Alfie ("Michael Caine was never better than in this 60s classic - forget the shitty Jude Law remake, this is the real deal"). His book is 45 Revolutions by Mario Panciera ("THE bible for any punk record collector"). TV Box Set: One Foot in the Grave ("I can watch this over and over again and it still makes me laugh.") Next on Desert Oi-Land: the PM (yeah, right - cynical Ed) or Barbara Windsor (Do what?! Are you sure?)


Gig news: if you're heading up to the Leeds all-day Oi-Punk 'Rage Against Racism' fest tomorrow, be advised they've changed the venue. Due to ticket demand, they say "we've moved the gig to The Well (also in Leeds)... good news for people wanting to buy tickets on the door as we will have in excess of a hundred for sale." The line-up remains unchanged. Meanwhile, a new Oi Against Racism compilation album is planned for bands who would like to demonstrate their dislike of bigotry without jumping into bed with the Leninist Left ("discredited falsifiers of Marx" - Sid The Lip). We’ll give them a track but those who’d rather Rock Against Politics have our sympathy.

The memorial Foxy annual cancer charity bash, in memory of the late and truly great Paul Fox of The Ruts, takes place on October 15th this year. More details to follow.

NEWSFLASH! Superyob are looking for a skin/punk guitarist and backing vocalist to replace the departing Dave Hayman. Frankie tells us: "Dave is leaving the band at the end of 2011 and we'll now be holding auditions for a replacement; so if you think you can handle being the guitarist/backing vocalist in a premier British Oi!/Streetpunk band with legendary status and a recording deal with offers to play shows and festivals on three continents, then contact Franky via frankieflame@hotmail.com." You'll need, says the great man: 1) Attitude and style, stage presence is essential. 2) Your own gear. 3) Preferably your own wheels (an opening for Brian Potter?) 4) A current passport 5) Ability to play guitar well, Oi!-punk style; and sing backing vocals well. 5) A desire to play and travel with a legendary London Oi! band 6) Enough spare cash to keep Scoops in lager, allegedly.

Case

Here’s a poster for Case’s November come-back show. “Only the return of The Beast is more eagerly anticipated,” says The Beast. We won’t comment on that, the Gonads’ internal power struggles make the PLO seem stable. Imagine what it’d be like if we were making money! Comrade FB has been resurrected too, and is frothing at the bit for Professionalism. The band themselves are staying loyal to Wattsie Watts who is alleged to have “turned their heads with her Avengers style cat-suit” and “turned their stomachs with her cooking.” A shocking claim. Gal meanwhile is trying to sort out gigs. There are plenty being lined up from February onwards, and the distinct possibility of two before Festivus. (Don’t knock yourself out, Gal – Sarky Ed).

RIP Willie ‘Big Eyes’ Smith. The legendary American bluesman who drummed for Muddy Waters died a week ago aged 75 following a stroke. Known as ‘Little Willie’ Smith, he made his recording debut in 1955 playing harmonica on Bo Diddley’s version of Diddy Wah Diddy.

Sept 22. Here it is, the first glimpse of our blinding new ‘Charlton Boys’ e.p. cover. The five track beauty should be out on vinyl and as a download in around 4/5 weeks time. Meanwhile we’re considering a proposal to re-record the lost East End boxing anthem ‘Jab & Move’ as our next charity single. The idea is to recruit Gal’s old pugilist pals Frank Bruno, Lloyd Honeyghan, John Conteh, Jimmy Batten and Glen Murphy to sing the mob chorus. Glen of course featured on the Repton Boxing Club original, which connoisseurs will recall featured the classic line: “We’re from Repton, Bethnal Green, we throw punches know what I mean?” Says The Beast (Eh? Where’s he been? – Ed): “We’d also like to bring in Mick and Jeff of the Rejects to add some belt. If the project goes ahead, all proceeds will go to a boxing charity.”

Charlton Boys

The entire Gonads crew will be getting together at Nads HQ on Sunday to work through the songs for Greater Hits Volume II: The Mutt’s Nuts, which will be recorded in December and probably released in February 2012 (subject to circumstances). New Gonads CEO and band pin-up Wattsie Watts reports: “The big problem will be whittling the tracks down to sixteen. There are so many great old classics to choose from and people have been asking us to record songs like ‘Oi Nutter’ which wasn’t on our original list, too. Some songs, like ‘The Joys Of Oi’ and ‘Karl Marx Supported Millwall’ are set in stone. We’ll have a better idea by Sunday night but probably won’t finalise the track-listing until Christmas, sorry, Festivus.”

Well, girls, we promised you a biggie and we never disappoint. (“Humph!” – The Nosher) Today we’re proud to feature the Desert Island Discs of Deborah Harry! The Blondie legend’s eight castaway classics are: Heavy Cross – Gossip, Strange Fruit – Nina Simone, Merrymaking At My Place – Calvin Harris, White Light/White Heat – The Velvet Underground, When I Grow Up – Fever Ray, La Passerella – Nino Rota, Talk To Me – Peaches, Mahler: Symphony No.5 in C Sharp Minor – the 4th movement. Her book is War & Peace by Leo Tolstoy. Debs ain’t that bothered about TV box-sets. Next time on Desert Oi-Land: Bradders from Monkish!

Don’t forget various Oi bands are Raging Against Racism in Leeds on Saturday. The Angelic Upstarts and Oi Polloi headline the punk all-dayer along with the likes of Geoffrey OiCott, The Autonomads, Jock Sparrer, The Bus Station Loonies, Keyside Strike and more. Location: The Library Pub in Woodhouse Lane; kick-off 2pm... meanwhile our pals The Uprisers have asked us to remind our New York readers that they’ll be playing Club Hell in Providence, Rhode Island, on Oct 16th with such US notables as Oxblood and the Usual Suspects.

By request, here is the complete Gonads song list – everything we ever done (unless we’ve forgotten anything...) starting with the Pink Tent years: Pink Tent, Red Army, Clouds, Beyond The Minge, Rob A Bank, Eels, Surrealist Blues, Whelks, Antigalligan Last Bell, Darling Harold, Red Red Robin (cover) Radio Free Charlton, JPS, The Legend Of Sam Bartram, Filthy Rich (cover), Stroke My Beachcomber Baby, Big Balls (cover), Ripper’s Delight, Tucker’s Ruckers Ain’t No Suckers, Go Mad With The Gonads, Oi Christmas (desecration), Punk Rock Will Never Die, Sandra Bigg (Really Big), I Lost My Love To A UK Sub, Got Any Wrigleys John, Annie’s Song, Hitler Was An Homo, She Can’t Whip Me, Punk City Rockers, Gonads Anthem, South London Aggro Girl, Delilah (cover), Sandra, Lager Top, My Grandma (cover), The Ballad Of The Bridgehouse, Eat The Rich, TNT, Dying For A Pint, Emily, SE7 Dole-Day, Stay With Me (cover), Run Run Run, The Lord My Harry, Karl Marx Supported Millwall, Half A Pint Of Ale (cover), Jobs Not Jails, Getting Pissed, Harry May’s Revenge, Is This Beer Off Or What, In An Oi Society, Free Beer (Oi Revolution), Lager Top Blues, Chaos (cover), JR Ewing’s Barmy Army, Lights Out In Charlton (cover), Charlton Warrior, Stop That Drumming, The Joys Of Oi, Lager Louts, (Tune In) Punk Radio, British Steel, Oi Nutter, Lottery, Mystic Meg, Give Her A Dog For Christmas, Grant Mitchell, Gob, (What’s The Story?) England’s Glory, Back & Barking, Alconaut, Nemesis, Beano, It’s A Yeti, Unky Bunk, Beer (cover), The Charlton Song, Pogo Till I Die (early version of Punk Rock Till I Die), Schiz-Oi-Phrenic, Anal Intruder, Me & My Depression, Hitler Was An ’Omo (version two), Beachcomber 2001, Fucked If I Do, Ska Enders, Last Orders, Surfing Rebel Psycho Punks, Sweeny Todd, New Boots No Panties, Oi Mate, Things I Hate, Line In The Sand, Rose & Crown, Nadia, England My Land, Cemetery Of Lost Souls, Attack Of The Zombie Skinheads, Valhallaballoo, The Growler, Love Is A Lie, The Greatest Cockney Christmas, Drink Till I’m Skint, London Boys, Long Ska Summer, Sid Vicious Lives, Pie & Mash, South London Aggro Girl (Ska version), Conquest, Hey You, Duelling Badoes, Charlton Tel’s Stag Weekend, Mungo Jingo, FrankenSkin, Oily Rag, Ian Tomlinson, Noise Bastards, Dance Fat Boy Dance, Billy McFadzean (The Somme), Spring-heel’d Jack, Badly Done (Rude Girl Mix), John King Is A Veggie, Hammer of Thor, Tesco Lorry, Mistress Material, Re-Infected, Buy Me A Drink You Bastards, Fat Cat Splat, The Devil’s Own Daughter, That’s Oi, Cheeky Chappie, Charlton Boys, Tattooed Love Girls, Beki Bondage Please, Indestructible Wolves, Backstreet Army, Warriors (cover), Valley Floyd Road (cover), England In Our Blood, They Died Heroes, Troosers, Glorious, Dirty Girl, Haemorrhoid.

As Prole: Generation Landslide, Destination Room 101, We’ll Never Say Die. As The Orgasm Guerrillas: Sing Something Swindle, Aloha, Frankie Goes To Pot.

Random news: new hardcore site, GlueHC.com has just launched in the US, founded by Sean from Blood & Ink Records... Brass Caskets have released a split 7” with Cold Snap on Redscroll Records... Gaslight Anthem singer Brian Fallon has brought out the first album from his side project The Horrible Crowes, called Elsie – out on vinyl with a gatefold cover from Side One Dummy... new (and much louder) albums also out this week from Cobra Skulls, Skarhead and Kids Like Us.

Sept 20. Desert Oi-Land. It’s been home to punks, skins, dossers, rockers, rude boys, ruder girls, Mods and, one quiet week, Fat Col Gannon. It’s even had rock stars on it. But there are rock stars, oh our brothers and only friends, and there is Twisted Fuckin’ Sister! Today, taking a swing in the paradise hammock is none other than Long Island legend JJ French, guitarist with the outrageous eighties shock-rockers who once described themselves as “Slade meets the Sex Pistols”. (Oi! I wanted JJ French from St Trinians – Angry Ed). Here are JJ’s eight discs: In My Life - The Beatles, If 6 Was 9 – The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Don't Think Twice, It's Alright - Bob Dylan, Positively 4th Street - Bob Dylan, See Emily Play - Pink Floyd, American Pie - Don McLean, Beyond the Sea - Bobby Darin, Salt Of The Earth - the Rolling Stones.

JJ’s film choice is The Godfather pt 1. His book is 1776 by David McCullough. TV box-set: Lost. Next time on the island: perhaps the most famous cast-away to date, because we’re proper connected, knoworrimean?

JJ French


Gig news: The Boss Sounds Reggae Fest is back, folks. On Oct 29 the Lee Thompson Ska Orchestra, Dennis AlCapone, Dawn ‘No, no, no’ Penn, Winston Francis & the wonderful Winston Reedy play Northumbria Uni at Newcastle-upon-Tyne... 16 Guns have been added to the bill for Biteback’s 12 Bar London debut this coming Saturday, with Who Shot Who and Rage DC... we’re in talks for a Blackpool show, with two fire-eaters and a Kiwi dwarf...

Gonads near-news: we’ve just seen the early proofs of the Charlton Boys ep cover (management Wattsie Watts): it’s coming like the Nosher baby... there’s still no sign of the errant FB, but we start work on the new album this weekend.

Red Alert’s Cast Iron Stevie Smith almost got turned away from the plane coming back from New York on the grounds that he was “staggeringly pissed” (You don’t say – Ed). We hear he’s going to have Sunderland’s coat of arms tattooed on his arse: two geezers fighting with pool cues over a woman pissing in the street... (Ain’t that Deptford’s coat of arms? – Puzzled Ed)

You’re reading the Gonads website, illustrating the thin line between blogging and pissing your effing life away.

Maninblack’s André Schlesinger spent yesterday “raging against Wall Street” in a Manhattan class-war protest. Fat Col tells us this has inspired him to “rage against East Lane”, because “that market ain’t what it was either.” Sticking in New York, there’s a ‘Skate... Suburbia’ party at the Nike Stadium on Thursday for Anthony Pappalardo and Max Morton's Live... Suburbia! book (see previous entry) featuring video by Larry Ransom, McRad playing live and a skate ramp installation. That’s followed on Friday by the official release party @ Dumbo.

Iain Kilgallon

Sept 17. Control's Iain Kilgallon turns Desert Oi-Land into a proper beer-zone today.

ain's eight discs are: Holidays in the Sun - Sex Pistols, Staring At The Rude Boys - The Ruts, California Uber Alles - Dead Kennedys, Dead Cities - The Exploited, Combat Zone - Rancid, Last Night Another Soldier - Angelic Upstarts, Step Down - Sick Of It All and Hurt - Johnny Cash.

Iain's book is In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. Film: Apocalypto. Box Set: The Vital Spark. Next time on Desert Oi-Land, it's proper hard rock legend JayJay French from Twisted Fuckin' Sister!


Missing in action: one Gonads tour manager, answers to the name of FB. If found, lure with chips and return to Nads HQ.

The London International Ska Fest 2012 are proud to announce, subject to contract, that DANDY LIVINGSTONE has agreed to headline next year's show. It's the great man's first performance here on these shores for over 40 years! ("What shores?" "Light & Bitter!" - (c) Fat Col). Dandy, born plain Robert Thompson, released some all-time classic reggae tracks including the original Rudy A Message To You (later a smash hit for The Specials), Reggae In Your Jeggae, People Get Ready, Raining In My Heart, Dr Sure Shot and UK smash hits Suzanne Beware of The Devil and Big City. He helped establish Trojan Records, producing great artists like Rico Rodriguez, The Cimarons, The Marvels, Nicky Thomas and Tony Tribe (including his classic version of Red Red Wine). Dandy is a true legend of Jamaican music, his comeback show is not to be missed! And if that's not enough, also added to the bill are those stars of Gal's podcasts Buster Shuffle, The Delegators and Rebelation. Altogether some FORTY acts will be performing at the fest (3-6 May) including The Dualers, Neol Davies aka The Selecter, the Hotknives (original line-up), the Phoenix City All-stars, The Moon Invaders (from Belgium), Los Granadians (Spain), and Capone & the Bullets (Scotland) plus DJs Andy Smith, Count Skylarkin, Tim Wells, 3DJ (Funkdub), and Mark Barrett (Pressure Drop).

And keeping on a Ska theme, Jenny Bellestar's 1-Stop Experience have finally released their debut album, Peeping Tom.

Nads Noos: Sham 69 have joined the bill for next summer's big Help For Heroes fest in Harlow (although we're not sure yet which version of Sham that is). Us and Sham headline Saturday, and there could well be a surprise big name psychobilly band on the Sunday...

special edition of Gal's Random Irritations today includes: "C***s who message me to buy rare Gonads vinyl, which it takes a day and a half in the loft to find, and then tell me they've bought it off of amazon instead: C***S! Record companies who take TEN POXY DAYS to answer your email but when they want something expect you to drop everything and reply straight away. C***S!"

Random gossip: the Badoes are coming back, Terence Hayes, PM, tells us that he has written two new songs - 'Yesterday's Zeroes' and 'Ladies' Man' - and is busy finishing more... Tony Feedback is working with Tim 'The Anarchist' Scargill on a new combo called The If who play the 100 Club in November. For The Whiff, wait for Fat Col's new 12-bar comedy rock band Rustier Nuts which he says will be playing forgotten early Gonads classics like 'Whelks' ("because someone should!") as well as originals such as 'French Fancy'...Wirral band BiteBack make their London debut at the 12 Bar a week today (Saturday 24th September). They are influenced by the Ruts and Clash and come with Chelsea Dom's seal of approval, which may or may not be a fish-eating amphibious sea mammal, like The Nosher.

If you haven't signed the Free Charles Bronson petition we'd invite you to do so here. 37 years behind bars is enough.

Out now: Joey Briggs's solo album 'The Traveling Salesman, Pariah, Me'...

Moscow calling: our Russian correspondent tells us that his local band Kids Of The Streets have just released a four-track EP. Hear a sample here. Just 500 are available on coloured vinyl. Meanwhile Tim (boss of underground label Bruised Knuckles and editor of Russia's Anti-Hippie fanzine) has recorded his first solo album. The project is called The Prestupniks - a mash-up of Cockney and Russian inspired by Clockwork Orange. The music is "a mix of old school HC, up-beat Street Punk, angry acoustic songs and a light touch of Black Metal." Bruised Knuckles plan to release a split 7" between England's Keyside Strike and Aussies Rust. They're also selling a DVD about Russian anti-racist skinheads. And recommend we check out The Pauki, "Russian Beer-Core legends". HC-influenced punk with "beer, pirates and Russian mentality"- www.the-pauki.ru

Finally, a rare shot inside the Jungle Room at Prankster HQ. Original Gonads fans Whippo, Charlton Tel (of Stag Weekend fame and shame) and Big Jim (far-right in pic) were among the guests for an exclusive play-back of the 'Charlton Boys' ep last weekend. London Pranksters laid on a rabbit madras (the rabbits were shot by WM Eric of the Sussex Pranksters), beer, wine and snooker for the old firm before the music itself, which was greeted with unanimous approval. The five-track ep should be released next month, but you never know...

Pranksters

Sept 14. Woo, woo and thrice Woo! Today on Desert Oi-Land, the wonderful Jenny Woo. Alberta-born Jenny started playing lead guitar in Canadian oi bands like the Kroovy Rockers, but over the last three years she has developed a solo set, combining oi themes with an acoustic backing. It’s Oi! The Folk, people! Jenny’s disc picks are: Out On An Island – Cock Sparrer (“Not only is it a great song by a great band, but it would be so topical!”), Gabrielle -The Nipple Erectors (“Every time I hear this song my heart skips a beat, and it has never failed to get me in a good mood. Probably a very important song to have playing while I am stranded and missing civilization”), Dancing By Myself - Generation X (“A great song, and very suitable since that would probably be what I was doing while listening to it.”), Watcha Gonna Do About It - The Small Faces (“One of the few songs that I can listen to on repeat for days without getting tired of it. A strategic choice.”), Greatest Story Ever Told - The Cockney Rejects (“One of the anthems of my teenage years, I think I could use this song to remind myself of all the good times when struggling to survive on the island.”), Situations - Slaughter & The Dogs (“A great tune that would help me to focus on other people’s problems instead of my own!”), Higher & Higher - Jackie Wilson (“A sweet soul tune to lift the spirits!”), Keys To Your Heart - The 101ers (“A perfect song and one I could definitely see myself listening to on a beach.”)
Jenny Woo


Jenny’s book choice is How to Survive on A Desert Island. TV box-set: Venture Bros. Jenny’s first album Alberta Rose is available now on the famous Randale Records label of Germany. Like all decent people, Jenny has always been, and will always be, against racism. Next on Desert Oi-Land: Iain Kilgallon from Control

Actual news: rare Gonads vinyl back in stock, shock! Including a limited number of the ‘Oi Nutter’ seven inchers, the FrankenSkin sawblade (split with SpringtOifel) and the ‘Live Free Die Free’ double album: all available from www.the-gonads.co.uk/shop.htm. And hopefully in time for Christmas, we should be stocking the Sharron Stiletto Barbie (the doll with that little bit extra).

Here’s a facebook page for the forthcoming Cockney Rejects documentary.

Gig News: don’t forget that Case play their first gig in more than 25 years at London Club Ska (@The 100 Club) on 5th November, with Infa-Riot (playing their first London gig since the 1980s) and Ska legends The Riffs. MCs on the night will be Geno Blue and former Gonad Manic Esso. The Club Ska Sound System with Andy V and Matty J and Top Deck Phil will provide a mash up of Ska and punk sounds with dancing till 1am...the excellent Lee Thompson Ska Orchestra play the Phoenix City Social Club on Sept 21st at the Queen of Hoxton, 1-5 Curatin Rd, London, EC2A 3JX. 0207 422 0958. Nearest tubes: Shoreditch High Street, Old St & Liverpool St.... Maninblack will play a Halloween night horror-show at the Double Down Saloon in Manhattan...And The Crack headline Oi! The Christmas party at The Bitter End, Romford (formerly The Horn) on Saturday 3rd December 2011 (“Christmas all-fuckin’-ready? What next, Frankie Flame selling Easter eggs?” – Grumpy Ed).

More bands confirmed on Oi! Never Surrender include Darkbuster, the Traditionals, the Veros, Volxsturm, and Iron Cross...

Sadly Geordie Pete our reviewer for last weekend’s Durham Punk Fest was last seen being dosed with Ketamin and kidnapped by tinkers, so here’s our pal Jo’s somewhat briefer summary: “Punk Fest went very well as always. It was rammed again, you could hardly move. They did use the upstairs room for an acoustic set for the first time so Tim Smith and Ed Tudor Pole did some numbers. The sound was really good as well, probably the best it's been....much better than the sound this year at Rebellion. Discharge were into their third song before we could tell what they were playing in that car park room they call Olympia 1 and 2.” Indeed.

To Punk Rock Book Club, where the book of the month is Live...Suburbia! by Anthony Pappalardo and Max G. Morton (Powerhouse), which Fat Col describes as ‘a fascinating history of the last three decades of Boston street yobs, covering the birth of hardcore, skinheads in trainers moshing in warehouses, posicore and much more. Fired by British punk and full of great stories and images, this tells how post-hippy street kids carved out their own scenes. It’s all here; Mohawks, karate, BMX dirt jumps, skateboarders and basement DJs. A great book.’ (Col, did you review this or just copy out the press release? – Weary Ed). Anthony Pappalardo played guitar for Ten Yard Fight, In My Eyes and Sinners & Saints and co-wrote Radio Silence: A Selected Visual History of American Hardcore Music published by MTV in 2008. Max G. Morton’s writing career started six years ago when he began organizing the stories of his extraordinary life after being diagnosed with cancer. Max’s out-of-print debut, Indestructible Wolves of the Apocalypse Junkyard, was published in 2007. His second book, Looking For the Magic, was released in July 2009.

Maninblack's André Schlesinger will play guitar synthesizer with NWSPR (New Wave Solar Powered Robots) for a special avant-garde fashion show presentation at The Cutting Room in Manhattan on Friday (Fancy! – Ed). NWSPR is the Synthpop side project of Maninblack's new bass player Michael Brown. They’ll be providing runway music for the catwalk segment as well as the reception to follow. Although the event is planned to coincide with Fashion Week it is closed to the public, no doubt for health and safety reasons. Rumours that Project Runway's Tim Gunn will be present to "mentor" the band are just a hoax being propagated by Fat Col.

Finally, the lost Sham 69 single ‘Dare To Win’/’Just Ordinary’ is finally released next month, with Jimmy Edwards on vocals. The songs were recorded in 1979 when Pursey was off on one with Cook & Jones in the ill-fated Sham Pistols project. It’s a proper collector’s item, or so the record company tell us.

Sept 10. This is classic. In true need-to-know, Secret Squirrel style the sleeve of 30 Years Of Oi! – Never Surrender doesn’t actually reveal the track-listing! The song titles are encrypted! However our spies in Saxony inform us that the album definitely does include a brilliant unreleased track by Jeff Turner & The Masons called ‘Violence In The Street.’ Plus great songs from Argy-Bargy, Patriot, Cock Sparrer, the Cockney Rejects, Maninblack, Perkele, Stomper 98, the East End Badoes (Who they? – Ed), Marching Orders and of course the Gonads. More details when we have them.

Meanwhile, the Rejects’ documentary East End Babylon now has its own facebook page here. It’s due out next February, at the same time as their new album.

Rumour of the week: Beerzone may reform for a one-off appearance at Fat Col’s Pathetique Punk Festival (If it happens – cynical Ed). And there will be new Beerzone product too...

Fact of the week #1: Pete Morcey of Forced Reality will guest on new Gonads anthem ‘Glorious’, which Fit Bird informs us “is like Slade, innit; it’ll be recorded by next Spring... know what I mean? Now shuu’up cos I’m watching Big Brother, ain’ I?” Fact #2: Jeff Guerriero of New Jersey hardcore band the Black Kites is now a pro wrestler in the USA’s National Wrestling Superstars league, where he goes under the ring alias of Jeff Cannonball! Details here. Fat Col says: “My friend Robbo’s parents were both wrestlers, he was born out of headlock.” Rim-shot! He adds: “What’s the difference between a Sumo wrestler and a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.” Ah, the old ones are the worst.

Come back on Wednesday for Jenny Woo’s Desert Oi-Land discs, some kind of review of the big Durham Punk Festival and this month’s instalment of Punk Rock Book Club. You’re reading the Gonads blog: “the epicentre of all the punk rock news that matters, this side of the pond,” Iain Kilgallon, Control.

Sept 9. They said it was a myth, a rumour, a pipe-dream, but it looks like the 30th anniversary Oi! album – Oi! Never Surrender – WILL definitely be out before Christmas. This year, too. Everyone from the Business to Agnostic Front were supposed to be on the comp at one stage. Asked which bands made the final cut, a mystified Gal replied “Buggered if I know.” But we’re pretty sure Evil Conduct, Booze & Glory, Nabat, Mouthguard and Control are in there somewhere. And if the Gonads aren’t, Franken-Skin and the Charlton Boys will want to know why.

30 Years Of Oi!    30 Years Of Oi!

To Desert Oi-Land, where New York punk-oi legend Todd Radict of the Uprisers is swinging sweetly in his sun-kissed hammock listening to: Reet Petite – Jackie Wilson (“my favourite singer”), Forces Of Victory – Linton Kwesi Johnson, Voice Of A Generation – Blitz (“RIP Nidge, my brother!”), Reggae Got Soul – Toots & The Maytals (“cause I’ve got soul”), the entire Generation X first album (“Mark Laff is such a great drummer, the Snare Man is what I call him”), London Calling – The Clash (“43 years and I have yet to make it to London”), Never Mind The Bollocks – Sex Pistols, Kamikazi Dub – King Jammy (“anything by him rules”).

Todd’s book is Apocalypse Now by Peter Cowie. TV box-set: Family Guy (“best American cartoon ever”). Film: Star Wars (“Bushell, you are my father!”). Well, he’s old enough...Next on Desert Oi-Land: Jenny Woo!

Todd Radict

The Chords are finally releasing a DVD. What Became Of The People We Used To Be – The History of The Chords features live footage from the cushty South London combo’s 2010 UK tour, archival action from the Pleistocene Mod Age, and interviews with the great and good (and Buddy) including members of The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Undertones, The Style Council, Buzzcocks and Brotherhood Of Man (Check that last one please - Ed.) There is a West End pre-premiere premiere of the highlights next Tuesday. Buddy tells us: “Admission is free, but it’s £65 to get out before the end. Bring your own thermos flask.”

Karl

Sept 8. Oi! – The Comrade has finally washed up on the people’s paradise that is Desert Oi-Land. Naturally he comes not to sunbathe but to unionise it! The Comrade contributed the passionate poem ‘Guvnor’s Man’ to 1981’s Carry On Oi.

His eight discs are: Unionise – The Redskins, Generation Landslide – Prole, Last Night Another Soldier – Angelic Upstarts, There Is Power In A Union – Street Dogs, Going Underground – The Jam, Mindless Violence – Newtown Neurotics, Union Song – The Nightwatchman, The Boys On The Docks – Dropkick Murphys.

His TV box-set is Boys From The Blackstuff. Book: The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. Film: Spartacus.

The Comrade also promises “indefinite wildcat strikes” if we do not allow him to smuggle in a complete Clash box-set, a movie library featuring Matewan, F.I.S.T. and Brassed Off (“I love Peter Postlethwaite delivering Danny’s speech”). His final demand is for a loop-tape of Red Jane Fonda performing space sex on Barbarella, which doesn’t strike us as very right-on but we guess the old fella needs to do something with the fist he isn’t clenching. Oi oi, comrade, get yer ’air cut.


Proper news: This could be the only decent thing this wash-out Coalition government do for music (or anything): tourism and heritage minister John Penrose is setting out to scrap the need for pubs and clubs to apply for entertainment licences. Good. How about UK courts taking a leaf out of US copyright law too and ruling that the rights to albums should revert to the bands who wrote them after 35 years? It’s a disgrace that so-called punk labels think they own songs for life – especially when they can’t produce the contracts to prove it.

Random shite: Lars Frederiksen loves the latest Control album so much he’s threatening to borrow some of the riffs for his next Old Firm Casuals’ release... SLF and Subculture play The Roadmender, Northampton on Saturday October 22... The Stooges have had to postpone their scheduled tour after Iggy broke a foot in Romania.

Caption Corner: spotted in New York City on Monday, a poor unfortunate with nothing to his name except a serious hang-over and a big black bin-liner full of ‘kerbside quiche’. On closer inspection it appears to be Ipswich oi-Ska promoter Gunk who has clearly fallen on hard times. Must he be ‘condemned’ to a life on the Big Apple streets? Your captions please...

Gunk

Sept 6. “Never mind the hurricane, we’re the fuckin’ Gonads!” A huge thank you to everyone involved in the 2,000 Tons Of TNT festival over in Brass City, USA, last weekend; especially the promoters, twisted visionary Max Morton and diamond geezer Big Pete, and the US Gonads line-up - Cam, Adam, Rodger and “the legend that is Tripod”, all from The Uprisers - pictures to follow. The story goes that the regular Nads were denied entry into the US because of their criminal records (many of which are still available to buy from the shop page), but incredibly the four (genuinely) last minute stand-ins managed to master a seven-strong set almost literally at the last minute (Tucker’s Ruckers, Alconaut, Grant Mitchell, Oi Mate, Gob, Punk Rock Till I Die and I Lost My Love To A UK Sub). Cheers guys, proper job! They were immediately awarded Heroes Of Oi status by Hoxton Tom, who’d come along as Gal’s official anti-PR man. Rodger ‘Trotsky’ Gonad originally drummed with the Bruisers, guitarist Adam Gonad was in the Radicts, Cam Gonad played bass in the Frosting and Tripod “was in the Lords Of The Ring, until he fell into the flames at the end of film three” (according to Uprisers manager Dave). He is known as the Tripod for unsavoury reasons (“If you cut his leg off, he wouldn’t fall over”, Gal informed the crowd. “How tasteful... what’s his number?” ask Fit Bird, Wattsie, Kiria and The Nosher as one.) Special thanks also to our US flag-girl Kirsten who sauntered on stage holding aloft a fine Roman-style banner - a Hoxton Tom for President t-shirt artistically fitted over a mop handle (which came as some surprise to Tom, who complained to anyone who’d listen: “The bastard has stitched me up!”)

If Chelsea Dom or Sandy Lane had been there you might have got detailed and annotated reviews of the Actual Music, but because Gal, Oxo and Calum were keeping company with vast quantities of the old Forsyte Saga all we can tell you with any authority is that the Rejects and the Business fully delivered, Forced Reality were awesome, Red Alert were pissed, Patriot should definitely be on the next Rebellion bill, and we could see Control making a huge impact in the US. There were loads of great bands here, from Brassknuckle Boys to Pist’n’Broke via The Traditionals, the Hub City Stompers, Evil Conduct, and Blood On Blood. The promoters stuck their necks on the line and proved that a US punk-and-oi fest can 1) deliver the names on the flyers 2) run for three days without any hint of ag or tedious numbskull politics and 3) make a lot of old bastards feel young again. It comes to something when the only thing we had to moan about was the traffic. (Our sincere apologies to Rob who drove Gal, Red Alert and Jesus – the Rejects’ Spanish promoter – from JFK to Hartford. If ever a conversation needed sub-titles...) Gal says: “Thanks to everyone who came and watched us, to Kirsten, Dave, the excellent Uprisers and of course Todd from the Radicts (now the Uprisers’ frontman) for running me about like a geezer. Really good to finally meet Eddie Bastard, Jenny Woo, Jillian (LIC), Joe and Max from Oi The Boat, Scott from Broken Heroes, one of the Oxblood guys, Maria from Bulgaria and so many great down-to-earth people. See you all again soon, I hope - thirteen years between US shows was far too long. Hoxton Tom for President!!!”

Small joys of TNT: Mike Rossi’s LA accent, Jenny Woo’s stage jumps, the Days Inn hotel being luxuriously situated between a water pollution control centre, a carpet warehouse and the interstate, Slaughter’s splendid stage flags, top-quality Shogun t-shirts here, restaurant-standard band grub back-stage, and the ‘car bomb cocktail’ (a hideously lethal combo of Guinness, Tia Maria and Bailey’s Irish Cream). Funniest moment for us though was hearing the singer of a certain East Coast band slagging off “limeys” on stage while dressed as a skinhead (origins: South London) and fronting a band playing Oi music (origins: England). The guy’s future surely lies in stand-up comedy.

Here’s what won’t be discussed: Steve Smith’s diplomacy... and the role that his DOG plays in his love-life (the Mackem bastid). What should be discussed: a TNT dream line-up for 2012 - Rose Tattoo, Slade, Sparrer, Garry Johnson, the Old Firm Casuals, Maninblack, Runnin Riot, Booze and Glory, Hoxton’s Heroes, the Specials... who knows what could happen?

Ska News: new club night the Phoenix City Social Club is launched on 21 September at the Queen of Hoxton (1-5 Curtain Rd, London), with The Lee Thompson Ska Orchestra (Lee & Bedders from Madness doing a 60s Ska thing) plus Don Letts & Mister Brown DJing. It kicks off at 7pm... Happy birthday Buster Bloodvessel!... The original Hotknives will record an album and tour next year to celebrate their 30th anniversary... Monkey Spanner and the Pressure Tones have announced an Xmas Ska Party on December 10th at the Regent in Peterborough

Questions without answers: Can there be any truth in the rumour that Elton John’s Saturday Night’s All Right For Fighting was ripped off from an early Frankie Flame demo? Is US lager supposed to taste soapy? Did a
certain volatile vocalist from the North East really once gobble a bloke in a toilet "for a laugh"? What fine 'socialist' singer insists on trousering the lion's share of every gig fee?

Does anyone possess a copy of any actual contract between a band and Link or Syndicate Records? Certain lawyers are asking...

Sept 3. Well, we were hoping to bring you a proper big cheese on Desert Oi-Land today - either Terence Hayes, PM, or Oi! The Comrade. Yeah, real heavyweights. Unfortunately, the PM’s list (promised since May) has predictably failed to arrive, and Oi! The Comrade has been too busy fermenting dissent to fire up his emails. So we’re having to make do with some obscure Cockney Rejects fan from the arse-end of Manchester.

Ladies, trannies and Herbert gentlefolk, here are the Desert Island Discs of Mr. Steven Patrick Morrissey: There’s Gonna Be A Showdown – New York Dolls, Come & Stay With Me – Marianne Faithful, Loudmouth – the Ramones, The Black Angel’s Death Song – Velvet Undeground, Der Nussbaum - Klaus Nomi, I’m Not Saying – Nico, Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell – Iggy & The Stooges, Sea Diver – Mott The Hoople. Morrissey’s favourite film is A Taste Of Honey.

Book: Suedehead by Richard Allen. TV show: 1950s documentary, We Are The Lambeth Boys.

Morrissey


Will we ever get the PM’s disc list? We checked with William Hill’s and they’re currently quoting better odds on David Starkey winning a MOBO

This blog returns in a week’s time, full of stories from 2,000 Tons Of TNT, probably.... Meanwhile here’s some quick news bursts: Contra Records tell us that the artwork for the 30th anniversary Oi! album (Oi! Never Surrender) is “nearly complete” and that they hope to master the long-awaited gem “within two weeks”... you can hear a new track from Me First & The Gimme-Gimmes here... see the latest Agnostic Front video here... and the new track from The Nightwatchman here... oh, and Monday sees the release of ‘City Of Vultures’, the debut album from Rise To Remain which features a certain Austin ‘Son of Bruce’ Dickinson on vocals.

Happy birthday for tomorrow to Mr Mod, Paul Hallam, the Stalin of Style. We can’t be with you mate but we are sending two of our favourite Fox barmaids to keep you company – one Czech who won’t stop bouncing, and a Welsh wonder woman (not sure where she’s from exactly but something about her says Prestatyn and Bangor). Sup up!



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