Feb 28. It’s all coming back to us now... before the launch party, an extremely drunk ‘dripper’ staggered into the 12Bar. She swore like a platoon of troopers and drank like several sailors on shore leave. She was also an extreme nuisance BUT when Garry from the 12Bar started playing our new album on the juke-box she was straight up on her scuffed heels demanding that it be played LOUDER because it was “so fuckin’ good.” Which just goes to show that even pissed prostitutes can have exceptionally good taste... Dear old Barnet, the 12Bar manager, caused no small degree of consternation by not turning up at the club until about ten minutes before the launch party. He claimed that he’d been on his way in and suddenly remembered that he was playing that night too and had to go back to South London for his stage gear... More reviews of our live show. John King writes: ‘Enjoyed the evening greatly. The Gonads were on fine form. Well done.’ Bobby Smith says: ‘Good music, good company and good food – well, apart from the cockles! A pleasure.’ Journalist Antonella Lazzeri opines: “Great songs, great delivery, great fun. You ought to be playing festivals, not clubs.” PS. Our webmistress Batttty was clearly turned on by the picture of Mick Maverick and the Charlton Boys (at the bottom of the Feb 27 entry, below.) Told they were all ‘good SE7 stock’, Bats quipped ‘Remind me never to go there.’ Ouch, she’s like Anne Robinson’s scarier (but sexier) younger sister.

Gal’s latest podcast is up and running at Total Rock Radio, and it’s a meaty feast of quality tracks from Murderer’s Row, the Phobics, Control, the UK Subs, Boss Beat, Runnin’ Riot, Insane Society, Agincourt, Evil Conduct, The Cover-up, Faces of Sarah and many more; with special studio guests – US! There was a slight technical hitch which meant some of Gal’s links and a Defects track were bizarrely lost but the station assure us that this was down to the microphone channel fader and not Gal or Jim Trott impersonator South Coast Steve. Just to make things clear, track four is by Deptford band The Phobics, track five is by Belfast’s own Pocket Billiards, and track six is by Agincourt. You can hear it all here. And by the way, that Agincourt album ‘Angel of Mons’ is well worth a listen if you’re into that whole NWOBHM thang...

Record noos: Screeching Weasel release ‘First World Manifesto’, their first album in 11 years, on March 14 on Fat Wreck Chords... And New England’s own For The Worse have just released ‘For The Good, For The Bad. For The Worse’ on Arrest Records: twelve songs that are best described as drunk, punk and oi-inspired. Book goss: Gal is in talks with a top worldwide streetpunk band (and a pukka 70s rock idol) about writing or ghosting their official biographies. He and John King also spent some time at the party trying to persuade Rhoda Dakar to pen her autobiography. What would I write about, asked the star of the Bodysnatchers, the Specials and occasional Madness shows. Oh we dunno, Rhoda, but you could always call it, ‘1,001 Arguments I’ve Had Today’.

*The Dropkick Murphys are backing the big trade union dispute in Wisconsin where strikers and demonstrators are protesting against a bill, pushed by Gov. Scott Walker, that would strip most government workers of most collective bargaining rights. The band has posted new song ‘Take ‘Em Down’ in support, saying: “The Dropkick Murphys would like to take a moment to acknowledge the struggles of the working people of Wisconsin and to pledge our support and solidarity by releasing the song “Take Em Down” from our upcoming album. We think it’s appropriate at the moment and hope you like it.” The Murphys are working with the AFL-CIO, SEIU (Service Employees International Union) and AFSCME (American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees) and have made the song available to be played at solidarity rallies across the country. They’re also releasing a limited edition t-shirt, with proceeds going to the Workers’ Rights Emergency Response Fund. Their new album,Going Out In Style, which includes “Take ‘Em Down,” is officially released tomorrow on their own Born & Bred Records.

Feb 27. A great big Gonadian thank you to everyone who made it down to the 12 Bar last night. What a blast! Our livers are telling us we had a great night but our heads have yet to be found. Special thanks are due to Bev Elliott, Barnet and Ruby for ‘sorting’ the party, to Tommy and Chucks for driving there (and back) from North Wales, to Dave Maverick for running the merch stall, and FB for ferrying the books, CDs and t-shirts from Hampshire and Kent. Kiria turned up on a crutch due to a leg injury sustained while photographing Tony Feedback in his Sharron Slutt persona just a couple of days before. The exact details are hard to recall but they definitely involved a ladder, a fall, and Tony in drag with his bits out. (Tone didn’t make the bash, citing a “domestic crisis”, and frankly is it any wonder?) The merry throng who did make it included Hoxton Tom, Rhoda Dakar, John King, Max Splodge, Wattsie Watts, Watford Jon, Justin McConville, Tottenham Sean, Mark Wyeth, Scoops, Mod legend Paul Hallam (the Stalin of Style), Chelsea Dom, Geordie Ray, Glen Halffman, Gaz and Lee, Dons enthusiasts Allyson and Larrissa, old rocker Chris Price, the Beast – making a rare gig appearance - and of course the Charlton Boys. There were new faces too, like glamorous actress/rock singer Colleen Murray, skinhead author Bobby Smith, chick-lit author (honest) Lotte Daley and the owners of high-class Bournemouth lap-dancing establishment, Peaches, about which more in a week or so, after some intensive research... In a bar packed with personalities, and even raspberried-up, Kiria managed to be the bi-sexual bunga-bunga belle of the 12 Bar ball, hobbling about with a dildo on her crutch, lusting after mighty Mick Maverick and talking innocent young maidens into showing her their private areas (“Oh you’ve had it waxed have you? Let’s see. Oh mine’s not like that, look here. You want to be a model you say? I can help. Show us your tits” etc) It wasn’t like this down at the Charlton Conservative Club!

Still, it was great to see old pals again. Bands represented ranged from the Heavy Metal Kids to the Bodysnatchers via Argy-Bargy, Superyob, Angry Agenda, Symarip, and the East End Badoes. Apologies for absence came from Steve Whale (working), Spizz and Garrie Lammin (gigging), Stinky Turner (shagging), Vinnie Riordan (in Liverpool), Charlton Tel and Big Jim (still rampaging around Nottingham after Friday’s match), Francine Lewis (babysitter chaos), Batttttty (couldn't be arsed), and Jenny Torrid (‘sorry, needed to get serviced’ - this apparently involved a garage mechanic but we’re not sure in what capacity). The afternoon didn’t go entirely without hitch, however. It kicked off with the recording of a Gonads special edition of Gal’s Rancid Sounds podcast where apparently technical gremlins played havoc with the early spoken links. We’re not sure whether to blame South Coast Steve, who was operating the desk, or the Total Rock lawyers who may have considered a couple of the off-colour remarks the wrong side of England’s libel laws. Then Fat Col failed to show up for his rumble with the Franken-Skin, going by mistake (he claims) to the Frankstein play at the National Theatre where he reckons he “offered out” Danny Boyle instead. And finally FSA officials intervened minutes before the launch party to ban our ‘Ring of Fire’ Johnny Cash curry on spurious medical/hygiene grounds. At the do itself, John King got into an argument with Rhoda (surely not! - Ed) about the English Defence League. Oh and Wattsie unveiled her new toy-boy, Michael from Leeds, who we note has already been talked into wearing black nail varnish (watch out, that’s how Sharron Slutt started mate). The reading from Bushell On The Rampage went well, but both Bev Elliott and John King said there should have been more of it. Much of the rest of the evening is a bit hazy. We seem to recall a few ex-servicemen talking us into various projects on behalf of forces charity BLESMA, the details of which are lost in the ether. As to the gig itself, the set-list was pretty much as we predicted but minus ‘Valhallaballoo’. Mark Wyeth’s review was ‘A top night all round last night. Long may the Gonads continue to rock and swing’. Chris Weeks said: ‘Bloody great night... We, the Charlton Boys thank you for a great performance, special Oi to Frankenskin – who was that Masked Man, and where was Tonto?’. Even Big Badoe Dom squeezed out something like moderate praise, emailing to say: ‘To be honest, I'm not a massive fan of the Gonads, however the new band has raised the bar and it was very good gig. Next time I catch up with you I'll buy a copy of the CD and Bushell On The Rampage.’ Thanks mate... we think... If we’ve forgotten anything or anyone, sorry, but we’re a little under the weather. Gal blames the cockles. Suffice to say it was a proper occasion. Roll on the next gig... which as it happens is on Thursday at the 100 Club with glam rock legends the Heavy Metal Kids, plus Max Splodge as compere and the 335. Tickets are a cockle from here.

Before the 12 Bar show, Gal was approached by rockabillies requesting that Andy ‘Scoops’ No-Surname-No-Tax-Bill be brought back into the band; but after watching Mighty Mick in action even Scoops admitted “You can’t half play that bass, mate.” Andy’s hidden agenda was soon revealed though – he was planning to confront the Beast over the £30 he owed him from a Nads gig here in 2009, but the crafty/miserly assistant manager scarpered long before he had to part with any cash.

PS. We should point out that John and Rhoda enjoyed a friendly discussion, rather than an actual argument. Rhoda took the standard left-liberal view that the EDL are in some unexplained way 'fascist' while JK argued that a) they're not and that b) England has never been fascist nation - unlike most mainland European countries. As Gal said in The World According To, England was the rock which helped break continental fascism. Many thinking people reject the knee-jerk SWP view of the EDL. Patrick Hayes (no relation) recently wrote an article for the Marxist Spiked-online called 'The EDL: a wet dream for purposeless lefties' which argues that the League is a handy target for campaigners in search of a cause. Hayes writes: 'Are we witnessing the rise of twenty-first-century blackshirts? In a word, no. The EDL is not fascist; it doesn't subscribe to a fascist ideology'; he also points out that the EDL's rise is a by-product of English working class becoming marginalised; he lays the blame on the Labour Party which is increasingly dislocated from blue collar communities, concerns and opinions. It's all here.

Feb 26. Morning all and welcome to launch party day. If you’re coming to the do, it will be located at the back of the 12 Bar; entrance to the party is by guest-list only. Try and be there for 5.30pm prompt. The album play-back will probably begin at 5.45pm, and will be followed by a short reading from Bushell On The Rampage. Free cockles and pork scratchings will be available, as will samples of the Gonads curry. There is complimentary wine (while stocks last) and there will be special offers on the merch stall. Doors open for the gig at 8pm and we’ll be on at about 10pm. The theme of the night is Johnny Cash. Other bands playing include punk rock ’n’ rollers Viva Las Vegas and the Cash Band. It’s a bargain basement £6 a ticket. The after-party will be at the our favourite pub, the Halfway Inn. Like the barmaid’s legs, they never close. (Love ya, Annie). Tune back tomorrow for a report on the bash... and the bashing the Franken-Skin is likely to inflict on Fat Col...Meanwhile, best wishes to one of our pals who can’t be with is: Gary ‘ICF’ Thompson who is currently languishing in the QE at Woolwich. Fingers crossed for you, mate.

Ken Casey from the Dropkick Murphys is opening a boozer. The Whiskey Republic will be rock n roll sports bar. It’ll have 20 hi-def tellies, a stage for live music, a full-kitchen service and, surprisingly, an Irish theme. It opens with a private Murphys show on Monday 14th March. (The lads’ actual St Patrick’s Day gig at the House of Blues Boston has already sold out). You can find Ken’s rubadub at 515 South Water St. on the Providence waterfront. Just follow the leprechauns... BTW, up for an Oscar on Sunday is Sebastian Junger and Tim Hetherington’s documentary Restrepo, which chronicles the deployment of a US platoon in Afghanistan’s Korengal Valley and features the great Murphys’ track ‘Barroom Hero’. The band’s new album ‘Going Out In Style’ is out now on Born & Bred Records.

We hear that the London Stuff The Royal Wedding fest has been scrapped as the promoters can’t find a big enough headlining band. Hahaha. Call yerselves rebels?

Feb 25. It’s alive, it’s alive, it’s ALIVE! The Franken-Skin is now on Facebook - befriend him or be afraid; be very afraid...

Here are the songs we rehearsed at the weekend – a good indication of the set for tomorrow and the 100 Club: Punk Rock Till I Die, Yeti, Alconaut, Oi Mate, Gob, Grant Mitchell, The Growler, Pink Tent, British Steel, Franken-Skin, UK Sub, Hey You, Valhallaballoo, Tucker’s Ruckers, That’s Oi...

Good news from Boston’s own Dropkick Murphys’ live shows: they’re still doing ‘Bar-room Hero’ and ‘Boys On The Docks’ in the set. Meanwhile in the Boston Arms, Tufnell Park, you can see the Business, the Warriors and Booze n Glory on March 11...

Feb 24: Good news for Saturday. Samples of the Gonads curry will be available in what FB refers to as a “nuke and blast” form at the album launch party. He claims that the recipe, picked up from the wholesalers today, is “tasty but lethal.” (However please note that the only other person who has sampled it said that it “should be locked up in a high-security lab, along with the smallpox virus” before slipping into a coma. Mmmm. Delicious.) Talking rubies, Tuesday’s grand meeting of the Punk Rock Curry Club in Southall, Middlesex, was voted an absolute triumph by all who attended. Our firm of hungry herberts included such lusty luminaries as Buster Bloodvessel, Manic Esso, John King, Mark ‘Symarip’ Wyeth, Steve Whale, Ricci ‘Rise of the Footsoldier’ Harnett and a few members of veteran Slough punk band Open Sore (of Farewell To The Roxy fame). Members assembled in the Grand Junction Arms before moving on Gifto’s Lahore Karahi in the Broadway where the food frankly pissed all over the rather shoddy offering Gal and Steve inflicted on the band of brothers at the last Kent meet. A shamed Steve Whale confessed: “We South Londoners will have to raise our game if we want to entice the Club back to the right side of the river.” To date, the fun-loving league of gormets has convened in Clapham, Wapping, Lee, Sidcup and Southall. But Steve says: “As far as food is concerned, it’s got to be Gifto’s.” Grub aside, the high-light of the night were Buster’s Judge Dread stories which surely deserve a book of their own.

Watford Jon texts to make sure he is “on the guest-list for tomorrow”. Do we say yes, or do we let the great man know that the party and the gig are on Saturday not Friday? Tough call. We’ll think about it.

Don’t forget we play the 100 Club with the Heavy Metal Kids a week today! Tickets available here.

The Bouncing Souls have been added to the Blackpool Rebellion bill – and we’ve got Steve Whale to thank for that. The Meteors will play on the Friday too, along with the wonderful Segismundo Toxicomano who are either a shit-hot punk band from the Basque country or menu item number 37 at Taco Bell.

STOP PRESS: RIP Phil Vane of Extreme Noise Terror. The grindcore outfit from Ipswich were one of John Peel’s favourites. Our condolences to his friends and family.

Feb 23. Morning all! Here’s a live event rahnd up. 1) The Cockney Rejects UK tour kicks off on April 7th, at a venue as yet to be confirmed. But the rest of the dates are April 8th Darlington Inside Out Club, 9th Gloucester Guildhall (an all-dayer with Drongos for Europe, Foreign Legion, Who Shot Who, Guitar Gangsters and more); 10th Reading Sub89, 14th Newcastle Academy; 15th Bradford Rios; 16th Derby Redemption; 17th Bristol Academy.

2) Hooligan rock ’n’ rollers Control play the Attic Club, Bristol on Friday with Ramonas, Foreign Legion and Graveyard Johnnys.

3) A knock-out night for boxing fans. Tim Witherspoon, Colin McMillan, Ritchie Woodhall and Glen Catley (all ex world champs) are speaking at a charity evening organised by the Islington Boxing Club at the Emirates Stadium on Friday 1st April 2011. Dinner, 7.30pm for 8pm in the Royal Oak Suite. Plus DJ, memorabilia auctions, a late bar and in all probability Gooners by the bus-load. Tickets £80 (including three course meal) or £30 for balcony standing, bring your own crisps. All profits go to the Islington Boxing Club. Fat Col reckons he took part in a charity bout last night as part of his training for Saturday. Quoth the oaf: “I took on Hank Marvin and punched his lights out. I fucking love Shadow boxing.” He goes on: “I love watching women's heavyweight boxing, me. It's hilarious to see them choke back tears when the announcer tells everyone their weight.” Yeah, like you’d have a chance against our mate Jane Couch...

Feb 22. The Punk Rock Curry Club meets in Southall, Middlesex, tonight with Buster Bloodvessel in the chair. Some kind of report may follow.

Response to our new album ‘Greater Hits Volume One’ has been blinding. Step-1’s site describes it as ‘the finest album the Gonads have ever released’ and adds that it contains ‘sixteen entertaining pearls’ (enough for a necklace, remarks a passing Fit Bird – saucy!) While this review by punk writer Georgette C has been sent in by our old skin pal, California Chris. Thanks both: ‘The Gonads were the 1970s punk brats nobody expected to ever grow up, so this latest album comes as a complete surprise. The veteran UK band may have toyed with pop and Ska on albums such as ‘Old Boots No Panties’ but ‘Greater Hits Volume One: Plums’ effectively reboots them as a no-punches-pulled punk band with a power to rival GBH or The Casualties.’ We’re trying to get the rest of the piece – if only to make sure that there is no ‘but’.

There’s a documentary being made about rocksteady and Ska scenes in New York. Brooklyn Rocksteady: The Roots, The Scene & The Culture will feature interviews with such notable as the Toasters, the Slackers and the Pietasters. Expect an Autumn release.

AC/DC are bringing out a live album plus DVD this Spring, using footage from their December 2009 live shows at the River Plate Stadium in Buenos Aires.

STOP PRESS: Saturday’s album launch bash has now been officially designated a Gaddafi Leaving Party.

Feb 21. A blinding band rehearsal in Rainham, Essex, yesterday was sabotaged only by the non-appearance of local comedy legend Mickey Pugh. Mick had promised to come along with a crate of beer to sustain us thirsty musicians. It seems our mistake was to have the rehearsal at 2pm, by which late hour the crate – purchased with the best possible intentions - had unfortunately ‘evaporated’. Interested but sober spectators included the Beast, FB and the ever-reliable Allyson Maverick. Musically, it was gung-ho, spot-on, and proper. And next Saturday’s gig is now set to feature such ancient gems as ‘Yeti’ and ‘Pink Tent’ as well as the usual tsunami of sonic mayhem. Afterwards, the band and pals partied on in a deluxe, up-market (cough) Wetherspoons; and FB unveiled his visionary plans for future events including the 2011 Nadsfest, about which, more soon; probably.

*We’ve had a message from Ben Dover. Yes, that Ben Dover – the porn star, turned actor, but still best known as a porn star. Turns out he’s a fan, and although he can’t make the launch party next Saturday, he will be coming to the 100 Club gig with the Heavy Metal Kids! No word yet on the availability of Jenna Jameson or Cathy Barry. Jase points out that Ben is a look-alike for Tony Perfect aka Sharron Slutt. There is bound to be some mutual attraction. So is some Dover on Slutt action on the cards? Or just on the bar, the stage, and the dressing room floor?

*More bands have been added to the Punk Rock Bowling Bill, including Killing Joke, Stiff Little Fingers and Leftover Crack (insert your own Fat Col-style joke here) Tickets available from here.

*Just out on coloured vinyl: The Bouncing Souls’ ‘Hopeless Romantic’ album. Just 500 of these beauties have been pressed by Epitaph. The album includes their version of ‘Ole’. They’ve also posted a pre-order for another live vinyl album called ‘The Complete Control Sessions’ – it’s the first in a series of live 10”s from Side One Dummy.

Feb 19. The boys are back in town... yeah!
Yesterday was a day of historic reunions. First Mick Geggus and Jeff Turner met up with Vince Riordan for the first time in more than twenty years. The lads convened at the Army & Navy pub in Plaistow to film interviews for the Cockney Rejects documentary East End Babylon, and hit it off like long-lost brothers. Says Mick: "We hadn't seen each other for two decades, but it was like we'd never been apart." As beer flowed, there was even wild talk of Vince jamming with the boys at a future Rejects gig. Gal was interviewed for the doc, due out this Autumn, earlier in the day at the Woolwich Ferry (South Side, of course), and was later heard moaning: "I catch hypothermia being filmed for ninety minutes by the Thames, bleedin' Riordan gets a nice warm pub, barmaids and non-stop ale. Ain't it fair?" No, but that’s life; get over it. On Thursday it was Carlton Leach and Cass Pennant's turn to subject themselves to a vigorous interrogation from producer Richard England. The documentary is backed by the makers of the excellent Oil City Confidential.

Talking of reunions, there was an equally significant Gonads old boys get-together at Charing Cross yesterday involving Gal and Steve Kent (who you will know co-wrote such early Nads classics as 'Tucker's Ruckers' and 'Sandra Bigg Really Big', when he wasn’t killing time in The Business.) Fit Bird whispers that a Prole album was discussed but will say nothing more. Mr Kent, now sporting a fine goatee beard, is working as an electrician. Could he be tempted back to the Orgasm Guerrillas?

Meanwhile, the Rejects new album, called E16, is nearly finished, and is said by those who have heard it to be a real back-to-boots “stripped back” punk rock belter with not a David Essex cover in sight. It’s also a concept album, the concept being the East End of London.

STOP PRESS. If you’re in Sarf London tonight, there’s a free punk gig at the New Cross Inn, which will coincide with Alex from OIZ II MEN’s 30th birthday. 30? We’d hate to be that ’kin’ old...

Our mate Marco from spaghetti Oi band Klasse Kriminale emails to tell us that the Last Resort play Laboratorio Crash in Bologna, Italy, a week today. Klasse Kriminale are supporting. Well no wonder Roi’s not coming to our album launch! We reckon he’s got it mixed up with Laboratoire Garnier and is going out for the hair care samples...

The Oppressed play the Leeds ‘Rage Against Racism’ fest on June 18th, along with Ska band The Heels, Skanky Agenda, Lowlife UK, the Denholme Velvets and many more. If you’re only slightly miffed about racism, this angry all-dayer is not for you.

Feb 17. Dale ‘The Beast’ Beeson and his enforcer Fat Col met up with Gal for a ruby yesterday. The top secret meet was aimed, according to insiders, at The Beast taking back the Nads’ management reins full-time. However, without going in to too many details, a terrible disaster ensued which resulted in both Das Beast and Col making frequent hectic trips to the Benghazi. Their agonised moans can still be heard this morning. Reports that a sniggering FB was spotted leaving the restaurant by the kitchen door with the remains of the first test batch of the Gonads Phal-Strength Arse-Blaster curry in a hermetically sealed container cannot yet be confirmed.

The first bands have been announced for the 13th Annual Punk Rock Bowling Tournament & Music Festival and it’s a mighty line-up indeed featuring the Dropkick Murphys, the Descendents, Cock Sparrer, the Bouncing Souls, Manic Hispanic, Me First & The Gimme Gimmes, The Dwarves and the Undertones. Bloody shame it’s in Las Vegas really... The tournament takes place in Sam’s Town Casino, the gig is happening outdoors at Fremont Street and 6th. Tickets on sale from tomorrow.

The Business have joined the bill at this year’s Nice N Sleazy festival in Morecambe. Others confirmed include the Boomtown Rats, Keyside Strike, Geoffrey Oicott, the Prairie Dugz, Clan Bastardo and loads more. Tickets available at £30 up to 28th Feb, and after that £35 online or £40 from the box office.

Random stuff: Rhoda Dakar is busy writing material for a new album... Jenny Torrid has come up with a quick solution to the Bob Marley London house address mystery – she’s going to ask Rita, his widow...

Feb 16. The mighty Middle Finger Salute play the Barfly in Camden tonight with Dangers Close, Smokey Bastard and Anthony Kluge – all for a fiver.

Nice to see a Gonads presence at the Brits last night – Fat Col’s ex Janette was waiting the tables. Oh, and Col went along to the after-show party at the Savoy, to slash James Corden’s tyres. The Brits, still the pop industry’s gift to rhyming slang. What a shower of crap. It’s like punk never happened.

Pete Way calls, while enjoying a breakfast Special Brew in his local newsagents, to tell us he’s off to Germany on Friday to play on Michael Schenker’s solo album. Other guest musoes apparently include Slash and Ronnie Wood. And a more sober bunch you’d be hard pushed to find, this side of a Shane MacGowan support group... Talking of Herr Schenker, Phil Mogg caught him once lying on a hotel bed with a cute girl from the gig on top of him, pumping away. Phil recalls: “He’s got a cigarette and a pint of beer going, and he’s listening to that night’s show on a battered old cassette player. And as she’s screwing him, he’s calling up the tour manager, John Knowles, to say, ‘John tonight we used too much echo…’!” Ahhh, UFO. Paul Gray quit the Damned to play bass on a world tour with them in 83, and they managed one gig in Greece before falling apart. Happy days.

Could it be true? Vince Riordan said to be meeting up with Mick and Jeff on Friday to be interviewed for the forthcoming Rejects documentary... (Wot? No Nigel Woolf?)

Cop an earful of this, a new vid from Quebec’s Sainte Catherines: ‘D’You Guys Wanna Fuckin’ Party After This? No’.

Feb 15. FB has apparently pulled out of the big street-fight with Fat Col. The Nads tour manager made the following shock announcement last night: “It falls to me to make the odd decision now and again and this is one of those moments; I feel it would be a waste of my time and resources to allow myself to be drawn into this current row with Fat Col, especially as I have just taken delivery of more samples from the many curry companies scrapping it out to produce the Gonads Curry. I have therefore delegated my battering of Fat Col to The Franken-Skin, there is no point in having a half-dead, crazed monster zombie on the books if he is not put to good use.” He goes on: “Oi, Fat Col, Frankie has a hard 8 inches waiting for you and it's not the kind you're used too!” However a spokesman for Fat Col immediately accused FB of being “a bottle-job.” Effete El (for it was he) said: “FB has shown his true colours. He can talk a good fight but when push came to shove, we pushed and he shoved off. As Fat Col’s trainer, I know our boy could take FB on the cobbles. And if he’s fielding his sub, then we’re fielding ours: that geezer in the vest from Big Fat Gypsy Weddings. Have it!” (Eh? They’re all in vests – Confused Ed). Some are accusing FB and Col of trying to wrong-foot each other and/or “hype” their bout (due to happen in Denmark Place on Saturday week) by issuing a misleading statements. Other more astute observers reckon that this is shaping up to be the biggest let-down since Hanoi Rocks failed to turn up for their Covent Garden ‘rumble’ with Twisted Sister back in the early 80s.

Lars’s new band The Old Firm Casuals have posted a selection of their brand spanking new music here.

Feb 14. We’ve added a ‘Go Mad with the Gonads’ page to our website, for gig pictures and photos of YOU, the Oi Polloi the whole world over. It’s open to ‘fans, groupies, stalkers, loonies, half-crazed animals and assorted hangers-on’. If you fall into that category please feel free to send us your pix c/o waistrel@the-gonads.co.uk. To date there are snaps from Germany, San Francisco, New York, London, Sweden, LA, Las Vegas, Southampton and Moscow. So come on down France, Austria, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Brazil, Mexico and all points beyond. The Gonads: we’re strictly global, baby.

*Nice to see our old pal Pauline Black on Reggae Britannia the other night. Pauline tells us that her autobiography, Black By Design, will be published in August by Serpent’s Tail. And while we’re on the subject of reggae, Brit-stylee, thanks to Don Letts and Rhoda Dakar for narrowing down the London streets where Bob Marley lived in 76/77 to Harrington Gardens, off Gloucester Road, SW7, and Oakley Street, off the Kings Road in SW3. We’re getting closer, people.

* There’s a two-day Help For Heroes benefit being staged in Harlow, Essex, over the weekend of the 28th and 29th May. Saturday headliner: the Last Resort, with supports including Black Marias, Insane Society, Citizen Keyne, the Noxious Toyz and boss DJing from Tottenham Sean. Sunday headliner The Pharoahs, with the Cobras, Deviant Amps, Killing Seymour, and many more. Venue: The Golden Swift in Harberts Road. No word yet on ticket prices.

* Our traditional Valentine’s message to Liberty: Oh Libs, we really fancy you, like all the other misters. How’s about we get together for a session with your sisters?

Feb 13. Here’s something new from Jennie Bellestar: the Orange Street All-Stars, which gives YOU, the Ska-loving punter, the opportunity to sing with her and her band. Here’s the deal. Jennie and Martin Stewart from Bad Manners have put together a group of top-notch musicians. When they play, anyone from the audience can get up and sing the bluebeat or reggae number of their choice with them. You can be a Ska star...for one song at least. And Jen will have your performance filmed and posted on YouTube, immortalising your moment of glory for all eternity. The first Orange Street session will be at Bar Solo in Camden on March 5th from 8pm – late, and the whole night will have a relaxed, speak-easy vibe. It’s a cracking idea.

Re-release of the week: the Cro-Mags’ 1986 NYHC classic, ‘The Age Of Quarrel’ is out now on coloured vinyl, with a gatefold sleeve, and three bonus tracks from ’84: ‘Hard Times, ‘You'd Be The Death Of Me’ and ‘When Push Comes To Shove’. It’s on the Mightier Than Sword label.

Feb 12. Viva Las Vegas played the Charlton Conservative Club last night, which was surreal enough in itself. But local herberts added to the occasion by staging a welcoming knife-fight outside with machetes and Ninja blades. “They were twelve,” said a shocked Barnet Mark. But hey, that’s Charlton for you... Gal, Chelsea Dom, Mickey Fitz, and Millwall Chris were among the throng who turned out for the show, which ended with four encores, one of which was requested. By Barnet. The band played the upstairs back bar of the Cons, once the Friday night home of hardcore bingo. Nostalgia addicts may remember that Garry Johnson was banned from the club in the eighties for scrawling ‘Tony Benn Rules’ on the dartboard... and Frankie Flame once delighted the old dears here with a medley of Cockney songs, after a day at the Derby. The social secretary immediately booked Frank back to do more of the same, but instead he returned with synthesisers and performed ‘Oi The Robot’. He wasn’t booked again.

Congrats to rockabilly rebel Barnet who gets married this summer. Rumours that his lovely German girlfriend only said yes because she thought he was Michael Barrymore are unnecessary and uncalled for.

Gal is on a quest to get a Bob Marley plaque erected to mark the 30th anniversary of the great man’s death in May this year, but he needs your help. We know that Bob lived in the Notting Hill/Chelsea while he was exiled here in 1976 but if anyone knows exactly where, please email waistrel@the-gonads.co.uk so we can get it sorted.

*Advance notice: Miss Alternative 2011 comes to London’s Scala nightclub on 14th May. The contest is open to any female UK resident over 18 who can confidently say she has the look, lifestyle and attitude to represent Britain’s alternative scene. (So it’s Sharron Slutt’s big chance.) Twenty-four finalists will be judged by a panel of alt. celebrities, including Steve Severin, Masuimi Max, and Grog. There will be ‘twisted cabaret’, and performances from The McCarricks, Lydia Darling, Sophia Landi, Transmutant and British Heart. The winner will cop magazine cover and calendar photo shoots, VIP club entry for one year and a custom couture outfit - all courtesy of the event sponsors who include the nicely named Handjobs Media. (Wasn’t that Heavy Metal Heather’s nickname?)

Random news: Punk rock sex goddess Kiria will be whipping out her new single ‘Let Me In’ on March 28th. Mickey Fitz is writing his autobiography. And The Aggrolites release their new album, Rugged Road, on Feb 22.

Feb 11. Good morning people! Get some Oi into your life. Here’s No Doubt’s cover of ‘Oi To The World’.

Feb 10. An extremely limited number of the Gonads Greater Hits album on vinyl are now under lock and key at Nads HQ. We have just FOUR of these rare collectors’ items available to buy (five if we don’t give the Beast one). So get in quick if you want to own a slice of punk rock history... Meanwhile, preparations for the great pre-launch party street ruck continue apace. It’d be easier to campaign for the rights of bankers to get huge bonuses than to get a ring-side seat for this monumental punch-up. As we speak FB is in training. And Fat Col is in hiding...

Rangers fan Lars Frederiksen has a new side project – The Old Firm Casuals, a self-styled American Oi! band, with Lars on guitar and vocals, Casey Watson on bass and vocals and Paul Rivas on drums and vocals. The California based combo have been in the studio recording their debut single which will come out on vinyl on the Oi! The Boat label. Not to be out-done, the East End Badoes tell us that they have seven brand new songs. They may even get around to recording one or two of them this decade.

Stop press: registration for this year’s Punk Rock Bowling Convention is now open.

Feb 9. Our Gooner mates the Riders Of The Night, who soaked Bruce Foxton in beer recently, play Wembley on the afternoon of Feb 27th. It’s not quite Wembley Stadium - more a 1,200 sell-out at The Silver Spoon Club opposite, before the Mickey Mouse Cup Final. But Monkey tells us, “We're hoping we actually get to play this time although there has been rumours that Foxton will show up with a team of parka-clad scooterists armed with cartons of Rubicon Guava juice and try and put the mockers on it.”

An hysterical German website continues to smear perfectly innocent bands. Normally we’d ignore the tedious creeps, but good groups are now having their albums dropped from shops over there because of their policy of publishing unproven lies, scurrilous gossip and ludicrous libels without ever checking the facts or offering the people they run down the right of reply. We hear from reliable sources that some of the self-righteous twerps behind the website a) rip off bands by trading in bootlegs and b) carry pictures of Joe Stalin and hammers and sickles on their other sites. They seem particularly keen to target business rivals – other labels (even leftwing ones), and festivals that they don’t run. Draw your own conclusions. The Gonads are not a political band and we never will be. But we reject the suggestion that if you don’t accept a far-left agenda you must be far-right. Our message to Nazis, Communists and boring intolerant arseholes of all descriptions is a simple one: FUCK OFF YOU JOYLESS CRETINS. And we cleaned that up...

Feb 8. Advance tickets are now on sale for the March 3rd mega-gig at the 100 Club featuring the Heavy Metal Kids, us and The 335. They’re £10 each – and you can get them direct from Nads HQ. Email us here for details.

FB is back! And he’s already offered Fat Col out! Our beefy tour manager hasn’t been AWOL at all, he’s just been off on another undercover job for Waistrel. This time it was a hush-hush fact-finding mission to the Pitampura region of North Delhi. Yet even there he heard about Col’s stirring. “An Indian mystic told me of rumblings in the southern region of England,” FB tells us. “I replied that they were nothing like the rumblings in my own Southern regions.” Due to unfortunate ruby-related ‘bowel issues’, the great man missed his flight home. But after an improvised colonoscopy and two emergency rectal prolapse procedures, he has finally returned to confront and quash the rebels. He got stuck straight in to Fat Col, correctly identifying him as “a clapped-out moaner who couldn’t even be arsed to attend the Garage gig.” FB went on: “Who the fuck does he think he is, anyway? At least I earned the right to be fat.” Well he did drive us 400 miles in his works van once, but what has Col done for us lately? FB has now challenged the gobby upstart to “face and fight the Franken-Skin on the afternoon of the launch party” in a WC2 back-alley. Over to you, Col...

*BTW, you might experience the results of FB’s secret mission at the launch party where we hope to be serving an extra-strong ‘Johnny Cash curry’, so-called because it “it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire.”

*Talking of problems in the, ahem, back-door department, Mitch from the Black Marias says he will be on C4’s Embarrassing Bodies show soon because he’s developed “a vineyard up the ’Aris.” (A problem leading medical experts refer to as the Farmer Giles or the Patsy Palmers). Mitch realised it was serious when he went to the doctor’s and the reception asked him why he was sitting on a bean bag. “What bean bag?” Mitch replied.

FEB 7. Reggae Britannia was a triumph, with bravura performances especially from Ken Boothe, Dennis Alcapone & Winston Reedy, Janet Kaye, Pauline Black, Carol Thompson and of course the great Neville Staple. (Not sure what happened with ‘Monkey Spanner’ though). The London International Ska Festival is going to be a blinder. In a related story, King Hammond’s new e.p. 'Mr DJ' has nearly sold out already. But that’s what happens when your limited edition is limited to a 200 pressing. You can get one from here if you’re quick.

Feb 6. Stop Press. RIP guitar legend Gary Moore who died in his sleep this morning aged 58. Our Gal, who knew Gary from Lizzy and went to Japan with him, said: “He was a magnificent blues guitarist and an all-round nice guy. Healthy too. He’ll be much missed.” Their 1984 Japanese jaunt, involving bath houses, screaming girl fans, Jimmy Nail, the bullet train and Mr Udo, will feature in Bushell On The Rampage II.

Feb 6. We note that the Dropkick Murphys have got their new album up for pre-order on their website for thirty bucks – nearly £19! Strap up! For this you get the CD, a t-shirt and a five dollar voucher to spend in the Murphys store. Hmm. With his eye on a pound note, Fat Col will shortly be offering this exclusive deal: £20 for a Gonads deluxe package: a signed copy of the album, a Nads t-shirt, an enamel Charlton Boys badge and a bag of pork scratchings.

One for our readers in LA - Roger Miret & the Disasters will be appearing at the new Durty Mick record store in Long Beach next Friday. The lads will be in the shop – located at 403 E. 3rd Street - from 5pm to 6pm.

It’s surely no coincidence that the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame will launch their new Women Who Rock exhibit on Gal’s birthday, May 13th. Says a straight-faced Beast: “No-one has done more for fallen women than Mr. Gonad.” The exhibit will highlight the likes of Siouxsie Sioux, Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson of the B-52s, Deborah Harry, Tina Weymouth, and Marianne Faithful. What? No Beki Bondage? No Jennie Bellestar? No Heavy Metal Heather?

Record news: the Refused have re-released their second album, ‘Songs To Fan The Flames Of Discontent’ – a mighty hardcore belter. While the Warriors (the LA band, not our one) have just released ‘See How You Are’ which mixes hardcore with crossover thrash and is guaranteed to burst a few ear-drums.

The London Diehards are back. They tell us they haven’t split up, and will release their hard-hitting second album around about April time.

Feb 5. Talk of Case reforming brings memories of their brief but exciting existence flooding back. Chelsea Dom recalls the night that they were banned from the Marquee for having the temerity to play an encore. Then there was their gig with the Adicts at the 100 Club, and the Rainbow show, and the time they supported the not-then-disgraced Gary Glitter at Hammy Palais...great band, great songs (described by Gal at the time as being “fresher than Max Miller eating mints in a mountain stream.”) Yeah, a Case reunion would be a good thing. Let’s hope they get it together.

No Gonads management turned up Fat Col’s revolutionary summit last night. The rotund rebel leader accused them of “hanging on like Marubak” and issued the ultimatum: get us gigs or get lost.

“There is no room in this organisation for hangers-on and time wasters,” said a Nads band member who wasn’t Gal.

Club Ska has a new home, at the 100 Club. The first show will be on Saturday 18th June with the mighty Symarip headlining.

We owe Roddy Moreno a huge apology. After last year’s Rebellion we published complaints from punters who had been threatened for wearing innocent England tops or badges at the fest. We were told that throat-slitting gestures were made by some of the Oppressed’s entourage and we thundered: “Anti-English racism is no more acceptable than any other form of bigotry. Sort it out, Roddy mate.” What we didn’t do was contact Roddy for his side of the story. The Welsh wonder dismisses the accusations as “bollocks”, adding “My so-called entourage" consisted of the band, five mates and three girls. I can tell you that none of my people made any such gestures. I thought that by now you would know that I wouldn't have fuck all to do with anti-English racism especially as I've joined Mensi on stage for 'England' in the past.” There is no doubt that some over-zealous antifa activists at Rebellion were menacing people in the audience, and they may well have been fans of the Oppressed, but our informants were mistaken when they linked them directly to the band and we were wrong not to have run it past Roddy before steaming in. We are happy to set the record straight. Nuff said.

Feb 4. We’re expecting to take delivery of a limited number of the Gonads Greater Hits on vinyl soon. Please watch the shop page for details. In the meantime, here is a brand new interview with Gal which will appear shortly in a Czech fanzine:

Congratulations on the new album, you must be pleased with it. Thank you. Yes, I am. It’s the best thing we’ve ever done. This is pretty much the cream of 34 years of Gonads song-writing. Some of these ditties haven’t been available to buy for fifteen years, and the new recordings are so much better. It’s how we should have sounded back in the day – and would have if we’d drunk less. It’s also a terrific showcase for the new line-up. Nacho is an awesome guitarist, Mick’s bass drives along like Top Gear, but without upsetting any Mexicans, and South Coast Steve is an absolute revelation. He not only has the timing of a Swiss watch, he’s a showman too. These guys live to perform. I am definitely the weakest link in the band now, which is how it should be.

Is there anything about the new album that you would change?

Yeah, that singer wants shooting. Seriously, absolutely not.

When should we expect Greater Hits Volume Two? And will your version of ‘Delilah’ be on it? Ha-ha. Someone else asked me that today. I hadn’t planned it, but it might be a laugh. I can’t tell you when it will be out, probably next year. But we will definitely include a revamped and improved ‘Sandra Bigg (Really Big)’, ‘Yeti’, ‘The Joys Of Oi’, ‘Charlton Warrior’, ‘Lager Top Blues’, ‘Stop That Drumming’, ‘Fire Down Under’ and ‘Harry May’s Revenge’.

I read that you plan to do a new studio album. Will you be changing your musical direction? We will probably do the new album before we record the second Greater Hits volume. We have some blinding songs ready already – ‘Die Heroes’, ‘Beer Can’, ‘Devil Skin’, ‘England In Our Blood’, which are all as hot and strong as a Gonads curry. As to musical direction, an industry guy recently advised us to write songs aimed at what 20-somethings are in to now. That is not going to happen. We aren’t going to try to be Arcade Fire or Glasvegas any more than we’d ever try to sound like Lady GaGa or Acker Bilk, or Five Finger Death Punch for that matter. The Gonads are a punk rock ’n’ roll band and that is what we will always be. The only difference you will hear in future will be in the musicianship and the live sound. It’ll be a proper punch up the trousers.

Who do you want to appeal to? Are you a skinhead band or a punk band? We don’t discriminate. We are for anyone and everyone. We have played to punks, skins, bikers, rockers, football hooligans, Mods, scooter boys, Rastafarians, nudists, Page 3 girls... We’re not one of those bands who say you have to like our football team, or you have to dress a certain way. We’d play for the troops. We’d play for prisoners, for lap-dancers, for Egyptian protestors. We’d even play to students. But I’d draw the line at playing for MPs.

What about the Garry Bushell solo album? This will be closer to be the Ska end of what the Gonads have done in the past, with good hooks and funny lyrics, but much madder. Much, much madder. It’s going to be more off the wall than a ten year old squash ball. It will have a brass section too. And I will get someone in to guard against possible sexism in the lyrics, probably Andy Gray or Berlusconi.

Will you play the Czech Republic soon? Hopefully, we’ve been asked to play a festival this summer, which we’re in talks about. We’re always happy to play anywhere there is an audience that wants to see us. We’ve recently been asked to play Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, Mexico and the USA but it’s not easy to cover the cost of the flights. Moscow is a distinct possibility. We will be back in Germany this year. I’d like to play mainland China – we have mates in Hong Kong who are working on it. Anyone who wants us should email waistrel@the-gonads.co.uk and we’ll talk.

Feb 3. Although response to our new album has been overwhelmingly positive, this blog has sparked some strange sniping. One infamous Oi Oi personality sent us the following charming if barely rational message: ‘Stop calling yourselves the Nads. You sound as pretentious as Superyob. You are not the Stones or Quo. It’s becoming ridiculous, so stop it.’ Yes, about as ridiculous as say the Rejects, the League, Splodge, the Badoes or a hundred other bands with a nickname. As the Beast observed: “This is a reaction fuelled by jealousy. They can’t criticise Greater Hits because it’s better than everything else out at the moment, and certainly much better than the new UK Subs album, so they come up with this petty nitpicking. Poor show.”

*Sadly there has been a mix-up on the dedications on the new album sleeve. Due to a breakdown in communications between here and the Black Forest, South Coast Steve’s dedications have not been reproduced in full. These should read: ‘South Coast Steve gives thanks to the delectable Josephine for defining the moment. Not forgetting "faces of Sarah", Nick, Janos, Ant + Gaz + all my friends at Kodokai karate club Watford and Nacho Jase for letting me mash up his garage, and last but not least Gal the bard of sarf London, mad maverick Mick and Mr FB.’ (Wot? No Beast?) These will be added properly to the sleeve on the next pressing.

* Exciting news, whisper it... Case may reform! Yeah, Rob and Martin have put together a retro comp, but Rob has been recording new Case material too with Symarip’s magnificent Mark Wyeth on bass. If the lads can tempt singer Matthew out of retirement there will be a brand new album and tour dates too. What else is he doing anyway, smiling his life away?

*Agnostic Front release a 7inch single next month, featuring two nifty numbers from their forthcoming new album, My Life My Way: A-side ‘That’s Life’ and ‘Us Against The World’. Only 2,000 copies will be pressed worldwide, of which 1,000 copies will have silk-screened B-sides, and the other 1,000 copies will have hand-etched B-Sides.

*There is now a facebook page for Oi The Book where you can leave your thoughts, suggestions, anecdotes, and (inevitably) insults. Fat Col adds: “And available skin-birds should leave their phone numbers.” Cretin.

Feb 1st. It’s here! Our blinding new album The Gonads’ ‘Greater Hits Volume One: Plums’ arrived at Nads HQ this morning. Which means you can order your copy on CD ... NOW! – three weeks before the official launch party! The sixteen track album has been variously described as “awesome, pure punk” – Steve Whale; “the best thing the Gonads have ever recorded” – Terence Hayes, WM; and “better than the last Rancid album,” – Clyde Ward. Stinky Turner reckons that “the Gonads have now moved into the Premiership, you are a different band in a different league.” FB tells us “I can’t stop playing it.” While Garry Johnson says: “Finally an album that fulfils the Gonads’ promise; you’re taking yourselves seriously at last and it shows.” He adds: “This record is cockier than Cock Sparrer, rosier than Rose Tattoo and harder than the rest.” Thank you! Let’s hope it’s not more rejected than the Rejects too. Here’s the track listing: ‘Punk Rock Till I Die’, ‘Alconaut’, ‘Tucker’s Ruckers Ain’t No Suckers’, ‘Gob’, ‘Oi Mate’, ‘Jobs Not Jails’, ‘SE7 Dole Day’, ‘Lager Louts’, ‘Franken-Skin’, ‘Grant Mitchell’, ‘Hitler Was An ’Omo’, Tattooed Love Girl’, ‘Hey You’, ‘I Lost My Love To A UK Sub’, ‘Big Balls’, and ‘British Steel’. All the recordings are new, improved and oi-oi-oisome! You can buy it direct from here.

Tickets for the launch night gig on Feb 26 will be an recession-busting £6, and, the theme of the evening, old chums, will be Johnny Cash...we can feel a song coming on here: ‘Belmarsh Prison Blues’: ‘Well I shot a man in Crayford, just to watch him die...’

A character calling himself ‘Pete Dantic’ emails to say that ‘if there were more people on Superyob’s stage than there were in the audience last Friday, how big was that effin’ stage?’ He goes on: ‘Or should I ask, how few were in the audience?’ How mean-spirited. Like a bloke trying to have a serious conversation with Melinda Messenger, you should ignore the knockers Frank. There’s always going to be some jerk out to rain on your parade.

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