Aug 31. Mensi’s next album cover confirmed...

Aug 31. We’ve just waved the Cockney Rejects off as they fly out to Germany for the last day of this year’s Spirit of the Streets festival. The bill includes Bad Manners, Stomper 98, Roy Ellis and many more. Us? We’re mowing the lawn.

Fears grow for the health of our AWOL tour manager FB. The great man spoke to us last weekend when he was “in the middle of a soundcheck”. Seven days on, you might feel is one effing long soundcheck and you’d be right but there is a reason. Friends report that FB is attempting to perform the world’s longest soundcheck for the Guinness Book Of Records “and after that he’ll eat a 600 gallon vat of Heinz Baked Beans and a hog roast in one sitting”. Or as he calls it breakfast.

Out this week and to our liking: Giuda’s Racey Roller LP which has been reissued by our friends at TKO Records in California. If you dig anthemic 70s glam rock with a pinch of punky delivery then this is for you. And if you don’t, why are you reading this? Get off our blog you time-wasting termite.

In Oi news, NOi!se have finished mixing their top-hole album The Scars We Hide; next week they’re recording a split ep with the Street Dogs.

We don’t like much these days, but we do like these guys - CWB from Brazil.

Certain people seem to think that they can treat this blog as their own personal message board. One cheeky rascal, who would like to remain anonymous (although his real name is Stief Liberace A’Billy) calls up and asks if he can “get a birthday mention for my Geordie Boy Howey who is 28 on Sunday 1st”. What a fucking liberty. We don’t know what annoys us most, the fact that we don’t know Howey or the fact that Stief insists on calling him a Geordie when Howey comes from Gateshead. Listen mate: only people from Newcastle are Geordies. Gateshead is on the other side of the Tyne. It’s like calling someone from Dartford an Essex boy. On top of that Stief asks if we’ll post his happy birthday YouTube Link - NO WE BLOODY WON’T. What’s that? We have? Oh never mind.

In related news, happy birthday for today to Jennie Bellestar and loyal Gonads road-crew stalwart and merch man Dave Maverick.

Aug 30. Happy belated boifday wishes to rock photographer and all-round goddess Antonia Moore who celebrated hers yesterday. We stand ready and willing to give you the bumps... as long as you promise to blow out our candles. Here’s Antonia apparently playing Sherlock Holmes in a rather fetching deer-stalker.

Fat Col tells us he knew a girl called Jay Mow who leapt to her death on her birthday. He says her middle name was Ronnie. Fat Col is an idiot.

Poison Idea’s 1986 Kings Of Punk album has been re-issued by Mark D. Rainey’s TKO label as a vinyl double album, re-mastered and expanded to include a second 12inch disc of live recordings from back in the day...

Aug 28. The Jolly Pranksters turned out in force over the Bank Holiday weekend, under the auspices of their re-invigorated Perfect Master Terence Hayes (aka The Chosen One). Joyous brethren descended on the East Sussex village of Etchingham where local farmer Mad Mickey Wharton turned over his barns and fields for the staging of a spectacular ceremony. The attractions included punk and skinhead Morris Men, a Millwall Mods scooterist display, synchronised lap-dancers, a Darn Rustlers tribute act called the Peckham Peckerheads, a bouncy castle in the shape of EastEnders favourite Heather Trott (deceased), Fat Col’s cut-and-shut bumper cars, and a full-sized but partially decomposed Ferris wheel nicknamed the Yeti on the incredibly sexist grounds that “you only want to get in it when you’re pissed.” The music barn saw a procession of comedians mustered by our own Dirty Rob prior to a punk and Ska disco which was followed by a short incoherent set by the Orgasm Guerrillas. Sadly headliners Toot ’n’ Skamen outrageously failed to appear after organisers forgot to book them. (No refunds though – Boozy B). However new members were delighted by their first sight of the local Pranksters' secret privileges, such as an “underworld road network” (or pavement) which circumvents all traffic jams in the Burwash area, free access to Marigold’s Horn O’Plenty drinking club and limitless 6am rabbit hunts courtesy of Old Eric. In moving scenes, Fat Col was finally re-admitted to the brotherhood as ‘Inner Guard’. Unfortunately this happy occasion was blighted during the Mutton Madras course when the flabby fool used the sacred seal of Burwash Weald as a serviette. He was stripped of his ceremonial Prankster breeches and forced to perform “the dance of shame” to ‘Sugar Sugar’ by the Archies while wearing an MK Dons thong. He was then replaced as Inner Guard by a partially shaved gibbon called Baxter. Few noticed the difference. There was only one other stain on this sainted day of bliss, when Heather and Jazz from the local witches coven, pointed out that according to the most ancient manuscripts (a 1937 edition of the News Of The World) in age-old Prankster custom, all WMs (or Worship Masters) past or present must be “sacrificed” after seven years. In the case of the PM, this would occur sometime in May 2014. A spokesman for Tudor Lodge (thought by lay experts to be the most senior of the order) responded by calling the ruling “Tasteless, repulsive, appalling, and unpalatable...” He added “However if it is written in the sacred text then it is also unavoidable... But never mind, we have great faith that Baxter will be ready to step into the breach by then.” So mote it be.

Aug 27. IMPORTANT UPDATE on our Staffordshire gig next month (28th September). It has MOVED from Burslem to the Green Star in Smallthorne, Stoke-on-Trent - a rock pub about a mile down the road. Passports at the ready chaps!

Gal’s latest Rancid Sounds podcast is up and running here with studio guest Nick Welsh and cracking tracks from the Old Firm Casuals, Control, the Goddamn Electric, Missing Andy, Friday Club, the Last Resort and more.

The Oi Organising Committee enjoyed a rare reunion in “some old villains’ boozer” in Chislehurst, Kent, last night. We were asked not to take notes which was handy as it puts a brake on the flow of the Stella, but we do recall the committee voting unanimously to endorse Gal’s proposal to Campaign to put up blue plaques to mark the homes of various Oi-Oi heroes. “There should be a memorial plaque on JJ Bedsore’s old house in Shooter’s Hill Road, and one on Nidge Miller’s old place in New Mills,” he said. “These guys were cornerstones of our scene.” Fat Col was given the responsibility of linking up with David Graham of the Heritage Foundation to make it happen. More news as it unfolds. The committee also heard and rejected yet another call from a Yorkshire delegate to “publically support the Labour Party” on the grounds that “Labour MPs ain’t working class” (Garry Johnson) and “Socialism is a dream that died.” A counter-proposal to align ourselves with “the radical Whigs” was rejected on the accurate but mean-spirited grounds that “no radical Whig party exists.”

Amazing news on the Gal and Clyde project. We hear that the chaps have already got TEN songs in various stages of readiness. These range from the stirring ‘They Died Heroes’ (about the British Army), to the pop-punk punch of ‘Punk Radio’ via the Blockheads-like feel of ‘What’s Happening Now?’. The idea, you might recall was for the Brothers Gonads to write another album in the style of ‘Old Boots’, and it sounds like they may already have surpassed it. Other nifty new numbers include ‘City Of Bones’ (psychobilly), ‘Rise Up’ (a clarion call to the English), the Judge Dread style filth of ‘Throbber’ and the downright puerile ‘Becky’s Bucket.’ The songs will be released next year as Gal’s solo album. Interestingly, he got interviewed by a West Coast radio show recently and was asked what he thought the three greatest Gonads songs were. Off the cuff Gal replied “‘Oi Mate’, ‘SE7 Dole Day’ and ‘British Steel’ (Wot? No ‘Alconaut’? No ‘Cemetery Of Lost Souls’?? No ‘Glorious’??? No ‘Valhallaballoo’???? – Disgusted Ed). Is he right? Let us know your verdict.

Lord Waistrel has put out a call for a ‘street rock vocalist for new project. Must be young, fit and a showman, preferably inside the Greater London area’ – so far he’s had enquiries from three contenders. One is 47, one over 50 and the third lives in the USA. Oi, nutters, read the effing small print.

Aug 26. Jennie Bellestar is singing Poly Styrene songs to raise awareness for Breast Cancer on 5th October at The Half Moon, Putney. The night, dubbed Polyfest 1, features a regular supergroup of a line-up with Youth (Killing Joke) Kevin Rowland (Dexys), Jennie, Doctor & The Medics, Anita Harris (Wot? Off the telly? – Ed), and Charlie O'Conner and Jake Shillingford from My Life Story. You can get tickets here. The promoter is also looking for an unknown punk band to play X Ray Spex songs and a few of their own... And as it’s a good cause, we won’t mention what Anita Harris might mean in rhyming slang.

Jennie and the late great Poly back in the day... identity, it’s the crisis can’t you see?

Protest punk icon Louise Distras joined us at the fabled Sidney Arms last night, along with Stevie Whale. The socialist songbird tells us that her debut album Dreams From The Factory Floor is definitely out at the fag-end of September, before she sets off for a tour supporting the Mahones in Canada. The album will be released on the new Street Revolution label. Whaley reckons it will “reinvigorate the punk scene.” Sadly, there is still no confirmed release date for Steve’s own superb Masons album We Rule The World which has been held up by a series of mysterious conspiracies worthy of the Illuminati.

In more important news, the next Punk Rock Curry Club meet will see “a return to food as the number one priority” says Mr. Whale, in a veiled reference to the John King ‘18 pints of lager and anywhere will do’ faction.

Reports of strange post-Rebellion scenes reach us. It is claimed that an inebriated Gal was seen in the bar of the Imperial hotel telling a barmaid and anyone else who would listen: “I demand a rewrite, give me back my youth. I’m still young and lithe. I am a gilded youth. Gilded. Gilded!” A stern-faced Fit Bird refutes the rumours saying simply: “Ridicklus. ’E never even drank in the Imperial bar, did’e? Maybe it was the Viking.”

Chelsea Dom’s tour of the US graveyards and crematoriums continues apace. He sends us this picture of punk legend Johnny Ramone’s gravestone from the Hollywood Forever Cemetery... Tomorrow, the tomb of Wilbur J. Cordwrangler from the Santa Ana cemetery in Orange County

Aug 25. She sang with us at Croydon in April and this was the almost inevitable result: here is Mandy Shaw from the Crows four months later, grappling to stay conscious, completely unable to stand and desperately touching the pavement to try and stop the ground spinning... (Erh, shouldn’t that be ‘placing her hand playfully on the Hollywood walk of fame’? – Ed)

We’re looking for a painter and decorator to do up Nads HQ. Anyone got a number for this bloke?

Aug 24. Well done to the Charlton fans who’ve smashed their fundraising target for a Lee Rigby memorial at the Valley. The monument, due to be erected outside the West Stand later this year, will be the first permanent memorial to drummer Rigby in the borough where he was murdered. Lee, from Bury, was hacked to death near Woolwich Barracks in May. Addicks-loving Gavin McClean first touted the idea on Facebook, and CAFC supporters rallied to the cause. Gavin said: “We just thought it had to be done. Lee Rigby was killed just down the road and we wanted to have something permanent in the area to remember him by.” Any excess cash will now be given to Help for Heroes.

PS. Also well done to the rain that stopped the game today. A relieved Chris Weeks tells us: “Obviously God is a Charlton fan...” Thank Thor for that.

Mad Butcher, German punk’s equivalent of Enver Hoxha, emails from his cold war bunker to tell us he has re-released these three albums on vinyl: Oi Oi Music by The Oppressed, Thrill Me Up by The Toasters, and Acer Roent by the Pilseners from Barcelona who stand for Catalan independence, like all thinking people.

Here’s the real Sham on stage at Rebellion, with our mate Robin Guy on drums and Jello Biafra on the left-hand side of the stage...(pic by Sponge) Dave Parsons says: “Yeah, Jello came back stage afterwards too. The last time we played together was circa 1979 when the DKs supported us at the Whiskey in LA. Great to see him again!”

André Schlesinger tells us that Sandra Lane and our New York City PR guru Sally Händ are currently trying to form an all girl Gonads tribute band called The No-Nads although he adds “Sandy and Sarri haven't decided exactly what instruments they're going to play (and subsequently learn…) as they are too busy fighting over sex toys.”

QUESTION: Eddie Pillar, Scoops, Max Slodge, Micky Fitz and Spizz are in a pub, who buys the first round? ANSWER: Paul Hallam. Even if they have to wait a week for the poor sod to turn up.

And here’s a heavy metal question from Fat Col who asks: “Is there a better riff than Maiden’s ‘Phantom Of The Opera’ in the god-damn muvva-frackin’ world?” We don’t know, Col. Neither do we care. Maybe someone who does will get back to you. Oaf.

Forget One Direction, this is what pop hysteria used to look like... and in our minds still should. All together: ‘Why do you whisper, green grass? Why tell the trees what ain't so? Whispering grass, don’t tell the trees, cos the trees don't need to know...’

Aug 23. Madness are releasing their 1981 cult film Take It Or Leave It as a DVD, with a CD of the soundtrack. Set in Camden Town, the film (directed by Dave Robinson of Stiff Records) follows the group's rise from their beginnings as a humble pub band to their first tastes of fame, chronicling some of their ups and downs along the way. A furious Fat Col last night denounced the Nutty Boys for “trying to steal the Gonads thunder”. He was led away to a quiet room where it was gently explained to him that our film a) hasn’t been made yet and b) the investment fund currently stands at two Euros, a Hong Kong dollar and a bag of pork scratchings. The Madness DVD is out on 7th October, shortly after their Alexandra Palace bash on 28th September.

Don’t forget a week today is the Cockney comedy extravaganza to raise money for Lee Rigby’s family at the Circus Tavern, Purfleet, Essex. It’s only a cockle to get in. Tickets from 01708-863838

But if Ska floats your boat more, the Phoenix City All-Stars launch their new album Skatisfaction on the 30th too. It’s described as a Skatalites/Studio One style take on the Rolling Stones. This is the first single off the album. The launch party is at the Jazz Cafe in Camden Town from 10.30pm till 2am. Hotshot & Scorcher members £5, non-members £7.50adv / £10 on the door.

Aug 22. Out now, Beefy Hillyer’s book You Are The Beef (see picture below) and the new single from our pals Nabat, one of Italy’s finest Oi bands. The three tracks are ‘Hey Bootboy’, ‘Braccato’ and ‘Lo Stile Dal Basso’...

Aug 21. Incoming: the Gal and Clyde album officially confirmed as ‘no pop, no style, all strictly roots’.

Can this be true: coming Badoes 2014 line-up will apparently be Tel (vox), Phil (guitar), Skully (bass), Cherry (drums)

Tim Timebomb & Friends have released three vinyl 7-inchers. Hellcat joined forces with Pirates Press to bring out ‘She’s Drunk All The Time’/‘Tulare’, ‘Thirty Pieces Of Silver’/ ‘Ooh La La’, and ‘Change That Song Mr. DJ’/ ‘Guardian Angel’. All out now.

Aug 20. Oh ye of little faith! We said it was coming and now it’s here! Chelsea Dom’s review of Rebellion!! Read on, McDuff:

Relationships, weddings and even births, it’s seen them all. But enough about the Gonads tour bus... how was this year’s Rebellion? Bigger, better and more extensive than ever! Each year, the festival embraces new elements of the cultures and sub-cultures surrounding the punk rock genre. For 2013, the whole of the Blackpool Winter Gardens was awash with assorted crusties, (is awash the right word for crusties?), punks, skinheads and various herberts for four days of beer, bands, banter and bingo, spread across seven stages. Wednesday got off to a canter, with team Rebellion (me, Mandy MDM, John King & Mark Wyeth) winning the local pub quiz despite depleted numbers, spurred on in the latter stages by the arrival of Manic Esso, regaling us with various Lurker-related tales, including a conversation with Keith Moon (whose parting comment was “another guitarist with a big nose”).

Much of my time early on Thursday was spent tying-up loose ends for the literary stage, although between times I caught some of 16 Guns making their Rebellion debut, 25+ years after having played Darren Russell’s first ever gig. They’ve certainly improved since I last saw them (it’s only taken a quarter of a century!), adding a second guitarist for some of their songs. But I’m not sure about the strip-tease (bar singer Tom who had probably run out of the CDs he was selling so had nothing to cover his modesty). Next up for me was Tranmere’s Biteback, another band benefiting from a second guitarist, pumping out adrenalin-fuelled tunes including album title favourite ‘Bitten & Twisted’ - or Bitten & Fisted as we like to say. (Speak for yourself, ducks – Kenneth Williams).

After copious amounts of bonhomie I finally settled into the Rebellion groove by the time The Straps hit the stage in the Arena. They’re another band who have been through a line-up change, with Jock & Dave joined by original Subs drummer Pete Davies (who actually played on the early records), plus Phil McDirtbox on second guitar and Mark G on bass. This new line-up is far more reminiscent of the early days, when the line-up boasted ex members of the Pack. Old songs were given new gusto and new songs got their first airing, pick of the bunch being ‘No Liquor’ and ‘Dead Heroes’. Thursday also marked the first UK appearance of old German punkers Slime and a bit of the old ‘Nazis Raus’ treatment, although it took Argy Bargy to warm up the evening, more than deserving their slot on the Empress stage (and there the resemblance to darts players ends). I’ve waxed lyrical about the new album before, but I’ll do it again, the songs adding to a set already loaded with great tunes and messages (‘Looking For Glory’ so true about today’s scene). Apparently Neville Staple got the whole place rocking, which was evident from the strains of ‘Pressure Drop’ I could hear from the behind stage bar (My type of reviewer – Dave McCullough), but our trip up to the Pavilion to see Abba Sensation was short lived. Not so much sensational, more very average, due to a lack of decent harmonies between the two female singers. The night ended on a high, watching New York stalwart Walter Lure pump out numerous Heartbreakers and Thunders classics, from ‘London Boys’ to ‘Born To Lose’ & so on.

Friday started with a brief snatch of the Barb Wire Dolls to see what all the fuss was about, but I couldn’t really see it for myself (I’ll give them another look when the opportunity arises). Up on the literary stage Greg from the Outcasts was giving an amusing account of the early scene in Northern Ireland, mixed with the troubles and emergence of Good Vibrations, as recently documented on celluloid. This was another day spent dashing around (they all were!); next stop was the Empress again, this time for Chelsea. Despite being a guitarist down, they still kicked-ass, stomping through a set of old classics, regardless of Gene trying to sing ‘War Across The Nation’ for two songs! After having picked-up Mr B, we settled down to watch the Crows on the acoustic stage. This band have real potential –two female singers with distinct harmonies & great tunes, such as ‘Monday Morning Friends’ and doing more than justice to a cover of Social Distortion’s ‘Highway 101’. Having caught brief glimpses of Hazel O’Connor playing to a packed crowd (both for her set & literary stage appearance), The Business going through some less well-known material and Ed Banger & the Nosebleeds playing Slaughter & the Dogs numbers (with their original drummer), we finally took time to breathe watching the Damned. Old favourites of mine, in recent years I could take or leave them, but tonight they were bang on form. A great sound and a classic set, the usual songs, including classics like ‘New Rose’, ‘Love Song’ etc, plus later greats such as ‘Video Nasty’, ‘History Of The World’ and ‘Stranger On The Town’, and a cracking version of ‘Stretcher Case’. Our good friends the Defects put on another fierce show, rampaging through favourites ‘Bitch, Dance (Until You Drop)’, ‘Metal Walls’, ‘Survival & Brutality’, ending on a stonking ‘Get Up, Stand Up’, the old Marley standard.

Here's the crowd for the Cockney Rejects at Rebellion. Rammo or what?
We haven't seen numbers like that since we recorded the Gonads live
double album in 1983... mind you, we were seeing double back then...

After a quick peek at the promising Angry Agenda and then the Uppercuts cranking-up the volume, early-doors Saturday was spent around the literary stage. Following a near repeat of last years interview with Teddie Dahlin discussing Sid Vicious (unfortunately the Gary Holton book wasn’t ready in time), Cass Pennant took to the stage in front of a packed audience and talked in depth about how his prison experience led him to the world of books and film. It was quite an up-lifting discussion and Cass took time afterwards to talk with people. Gal was next on the sofa with John Robb, speaking at length and at great speed about his time at Sounds and the Oi scene although asking questions on Southall/Strength Thru Oi is old hat now and largely irrelevant to today’s scene. The 30th anniversary Oi album would have been more suitable for discussion.

Back to the live music, to be honest I’m not a great fan of Chas & Dave, but they certainly packed them in, so I can’t really knock them (actually I could, but I won’t!) (You better not – Gertcha-lovin’ Ed). This was a precursor to more Cockney musical mayhem later in the evening. I didn’t stay long, scuttling off to the Olympia for Chron Gen, who I haven’t seen for a good few years. This was an improvement on the last few times they’d played, churning out the early favourites, ‘Mindless Few’, ‘Jet Boy Jet Girl’, ‘Reality’. Back in the Empress, the Rejects were on stage, playing the tunes that are now so familiar to us all, along with the latest classic from their repertoire, ‘Your Country Needs You’, such a poignant number. Quite how Jeff manages to keep up those energy levels is incredible. Back in the Arena, the much-underrated Outcasts showed us exactly why Northern Ireland is such a hotbed for raw punk talent. Great vocals, great tunes – ‘Self Conscious Over You’, ‘Magnum Force’, ‘Gangland Warfare’, ending on a surprise cover of Bowie’s ‘Suffragette City’. As usual, the big event whenever/wherever they play, Cock Sparrer got the Empress seriously rocking, so much so the dance floor felt like it was in danger of collapsing. A triumphant return to Blackpool and £2,000 raised for a good cause, having raffled the specially made backdrop. Before our evening ended, we caught the end of the Misfits, who finished on a manic ‘We Are 138’. Plaudits must also go to Jerry Only, who made a point of showing support for the Sophie Lancaster campaign.

Finally Sunday came and by some miracle we had some energy left (that said I can’t recall seeing any bands until the evening, but I’m still not sure how I managed that!). Jello Biafra yet again showed us what the Dead Kennedys are missing (maybe one day!) and mixed new songs with some old favourites. Despite the competition on the other stages, Infa Riot pulled a good crowd in the Olympia and put in a solid performance. Lee his usual infectious self rallied to the cause and left us in good spirit right to the end, no political speeches, just good, honest tunes. This led us nicely into Sham, resurgent after bringing together much of the old line-up, although still dubious for some given Pursey’s past performances. As one friend commented, they ripped a new arsehole into the place, such was the delivery and reception from the crowd. Like the two recent London shows, this was the Sham everyone wanted to see, however there was some of Jimmy’s condescending commentary creeping in. The old classics were played from the first two albums and some new songs to boot. It was interesting to note, however, that the Rebellion backdrop at the back of the stage had been taken down. Last knockings saw us catch bona fide reggae legend Roy Ellis of Symarip run through classics ‘Skinhead Moonstomp’ and ‘Skinhead Girl’, with the man himself performing acrobatics on stage. A great end to a great weekend.

Aug 19. Good morning! Oi, Oi, Oi and all that. News that the Gonads WON’T be retiring at the end of this year has inspired a flood of gig offers from around the world. We can confirm that we will be playing Germany and Italy next year and are in talks with promoters in other European countries. We’ve also had enquiries from the USA, Canada and Latin America. We are interested – extremely so – but because of the expense and logistical complexity of putting mini-tours together we would prefer to work with pukka promoters in these far-off territories. A guy from Brazil said: “We’ve seen Cock Sparrer and Rejects, we want to see you!” Quite right, you’ve seen the rest, now see the BEST. In the immortal words of Annie Auld-Iron: “Who needs Splodge and who needs Madness?, they’re no answer to your sadness; Cockney Rejects? Do us a favour! Meet the Gonads, we’re your saviours!” For all inquiries about the Gonads (the Kings Of StreetPunk, the regents of rude reggae, the princes of Pathetique etc etc) email waistrel@the-gonads.co.uk In the meantime, here is our message to the world...

In another positive development, good old Cock Sparrer managed to raise nearly £2K for a Blackpool charity by raffling off their Rebellion back-drop last weekend. The money will go to Streetlife who work with the seaside town’s vulnerable young people, running an emergency night shelter. Well done to Sparrer fan Colin Kennedy who won the custom-made banner. (Fix – Fat Col)

Chelsea Dom may be currently without a band but the great man continues to impress his many fans. According to Fit Bird, Dom’s display of “in-car aerobics” in beautiful downtown Sidcup at the weekend was worthy of the Cirque du Soleil. What can she mean?

It’s our drummer Steve Higgins’s 50th birthday (probably) on September 12th and we’ve lined up an extra special gift for him. All he needs to do to ‘earn’ it is to comply with these simple birthday requests 1) Eat a steak sandwich 2) Speak in a clear and coherent manner for one entire day and 3) Learn to keep time. Hmm. Something tells us that special present is going straight back to Oi Oi the Shop.

Speaking of Bill and Sarah’s fine Camden emporium, they’ll have this terrific new line of street-sussed clothing from Hawkins & Joseph in stock next month...

Aug 18. Bad news folks. Plans to film Curry On Up The Gonads have been put on hold, sadly, as finances for the movie are proving as hard to raise as Fat Col’s cock after eighteen pints of Snakebite (the Yeti writes). It has been suggested that we “do a Rejects” and make a documentary film instead. We did think about it... for at least a minute... which was long enough to realise that any honest and complete Gonads doc would have to include interviews with Paul Divine (round-dodger), Fat Col (trainee codger), The Yeti (old splodger) along with The Beast, Janice Gussett, Stalin, Annie Auld-Iron and Martin Sporrell (aggressive Gooner)... and we wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

But here’s some good news: Fit Bird tells us Gal’s new Harry Tyler novel Face Down is definitely on schedule and will be on sale two months from tomorrow. It's part three of the Harry Tyler saga, and undoubtedly the best of the trilogy. You can pre-order it here.

Aug 17. The brilliant 'Ska For Heroes' e.p. by Buster's Ska Battalion is out as a 12inch vinyl for the first time in the first week of November. All proceeds from the extremely collectible four-track project will be split between Help For Heroes, the Erskine hospital in Glasgow and the Royal Chelsea Hospital. We're proud to be part of it.

Bad news from Steve Whale. The great man is in horrendous pain after he slipped a disc in his bathroom. Reports that he was playing naked Twister at the time can neither be confirmed or denied. Unfortunately this means work on the new and long-awaited Blades tracks has been postponed.

Gal recorded two tasty reggae songs with Stief yesterday, ‘Southend Rhapsody’ and ‘World Cup Willie’, which both sound the business even if Stief does seem to be labouring under the unfortunate delusion that Willie was an actual real player in the 1966 World Cup winning England squad rather than A TOY MASCOT! Today dream-maker and heart-breaker Mick Maverick went along to play bass on a bizarre Public Image-style interpretation of ‘Moon River’. Mick and Stief, two dreamers off to see the world. The mind boggles...

Stief and Gal in leg-over shock

Rock Against Fashion!

Linda Ramone, Johnny’s widow, has had a pop at the CBGB film that premieres at the CBGB festival this Autumn. Linda moans a) that the film features no Ramones songs and b) “Johnny was Irish, pale and 27” whereas the actor playing him is “older, Puerto Rican and looks nothing like him... ” She concludes that the people making the movie “know nothing about CBGBs or the Ramones.” Ouch.

Aug 15. The Harrington Saints album 'Bettin' On A Longshot: The Singles Collection' is out now on CD and definitely worth checking out. The East Bay boys were on blinding form in Blackpool. This collection of singles comes with two new and unheard bonus tracks. Meanwhile a proper review of Rebellion is coming, from our intrepid reporter Chelsea Dom, with pictures by our pal Blaise, maybe as soon as next week. It's not like there's any rush or anything. By the way, we’ve only just noticed that the Rejects have released a CD box set of their rock albums - The Wild Ones, Quiet Storm, Lethal and the never released Nathan’s Pie & Eels. It's on the Custom House label via Cadiz.

Big love to Allyson Maverick, our flag girl and occasional tour manageress, who has been laid up with a lung infection that she contracted while playing a zombie in a new movie. Eee, it’s all go in the Gonads barmy army. Al, if you want us to come and rub Vic on your chest you only have to ask.

Quick snippets: Mensi is reforming The Angelic Upstarts for a few gigs, to book the band, contact Gaz Stoker ... Stief is back in recording his solo album tomorrow – some really great tracks have already been done, including a mighty reggae version of ‘Southend Rhapsody’, more on this to follow...

We hear that a tape has surfaced of the East End Badoes playing live in the USA from a few years ago, with our own Andy Scoops on bass. Apparently the banter between the songs is "funnier than most sitcoms" (Not hard - Ed). Plans are in hand to release it, we're told, although we take that with a pinch of salt as our Badoes sources are generally as reliable as an email from a Nigerian prince keen to deposit £500K in your bank account.

Aug 13. Congratulations, you have just met the PLSF... that’s the Peaceful Literary Stage Firm. Here’s Gal up at Rebellion with Cass and Bill from Camden’s own Oi Oi The Shop. “Who wants it?” – and by that we mean who wants to talk about books for an hour or two? Thanks to Chelsea Dom for his sterling assistance on the day.

WHO would be on your dream Rebellion bill for next year? A quick straw poll of Gonads HQ came up with: Slade (with Noddy), Rose Tattoo, the Jam (all three original members), the Specials (with Jerry), the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Rat City Riot, Nabat, us (naturally), King Hammond, the Professionals, the Badoes, the Macc Lads and many more. But what newer bands deserve the exposure? Our votes would go to P45, Penny Cocks, the Feathers, the Blades, Leah McCaffrey, 45 Adapters and the Dub City Rockers.

Gal records his latest Rancid Sounds podcast today at a secure Baker Street location as the homeless Bloodstock Radio is still operating out of a cardboard box in Dalston. We’ll let you know when it’s up.

Street Sounds issue 4 is now in stock, over at the shop page... or as we like to call it, Fat Col’s House of Tat.

Is this Gal’s magnificent seven we asked yesterday and the answer came back “No, it bleedin’ ain’t.” A furious Fit-Bird cautions us against “groundless speculation” and sniffs that “the list couldn’t be complete without Kiria and Leah McCaffrey anyway”.

Aug 12. It’s been a hectic few weeks, with many a pint sank and many a decision made, so here is a quick handy update to make everything crystal. Firstly, our controversial bootleg album Built For Destruction is finally on sale. It largely features near-the-knuckle tracks written and recorded after the ‘Glorious Bastards’ album, but does also include three amazing songs recorded by the current and permanent Gonads line-up (‘Charlton Warriors’, ‘We Are The Boys’ and ‘Glorious’, one SkaNads demo (‘Dying For A Pint’) and the original version of ‘Stroke My Beachcomber Baby’. We are back in the studio next month to record a special single which will be released in November, initially on our own Soitenly label. The next official Gonads release will be Greater Hits Volume Three – The Complete Cobblers, which we’re aiming to bring out in mid-summer 2014. We have two confirmed up-and-coming gigs this year – September 28th at Burslem, Stoke-On-Trent and November 2nd at Charlton Liberal Club, London SE7. Next year the proper Gonads will ONLY be playing special events and festivals - but we will be announcing an official spinoff band on January 1st which won’t feature Gal but will play anywhere beer is on tap and meat is available. If do compile a Gonads rarities album we will give it away as a free download. Meanwhile the SkaNads plan to record two split singles this year but will not be playing live until they have found a Ska-friendly keyboardist, Gal is working on a solo album with Clyde Ward, and over in New York City, André is still looking for a new bass-player for Maninblack. Right, we think that’s everything...

Also out now, issue 4 of StreetSounds featuring Crashed Out, Stomper 69, Section 60, Maninblack, Iron Maiden, Klasse Kriminale, Susan Cadogan, Decca Wade and much more – including Mexican skinhead art and the brilliant new Super-Yob cartoon creation. It’s only £2 too. Don’t miss it.

Could these be Gal’s Magnificent Seven?

Aug 11. With heavy hearts, throbbing socks (possible misprint? – Ed) and endangered livers, the Nads party returned from Rebellion today. It was a brilliant weekend full of small joys like Cass Pennant’s backstage stories of wreaths and bullshit, Traceyee Oi Town’s tattoos, Geno Blue’s outrageous Buster Bloodvessel revelations, the Crows’ ‘Dead Flowers’ cover, Steve Ig welling up when he got his picture taken with Mick Geggus, seaside fish and chips at £3.50, people you haven’t seen for 30-odd years resuming conversations from back then as if it were yesterday, daily Max Splodge bingo and the look of shock on John King’s face when he discovered Diana Schuler runs a fish farm – let’s just say it now seems unlikely that JK’s long-mooted solo album will be coming out on Randale...

An immaculately detailed report from Chelsea Dom will no doubt follow when the great man sobers up (so expect it in September – cynical Ed), but suffice to say the usual suspects delivered on superb form, Chas n Dave were BLINDIN’, performing to a smiling sea of punks and skins (gertcha cowson etc), and Diana’s delightful laugh could be heard above the seagulls... in Fleetwood. Cock Sparrer’s Mick Beaufoy reminded us that when we were recording Old Boots, we did a version of ‘Charlton Belongs To Me’ with him on guitar which has never been released, and a version of ‘England My Land’ with Watford Jon on vocals. Both songs could feature on a future rarities release some time in the distant future. England football legend and long-time punk fan Stuart Pearce turned up in the backstage area; the great man didn’t take kindly to being asked if he’d “just come off stage” by an inebriated Gal who was either channelling the spirit of Fat Col or is genuinely going gaga. Or both. Meanwhile we’re hoping that Dom’s write-up will expose the shocking iniquity of vegetarian promoters booking veggie-only catering (it was Cockney night, where were the pie and eels?), as well as the reasons why Manic Esso mysteriously disappeared back to The Smoke after just one night. It’s not like he spoke that long to Lee Wilson... Next year’s Rebellion will definitely feature NOFX and Evil Conduct, and possibly the Dropkick Murphys. More news when we have it.

Some pukka news: Gal and Clyde Ward will be working together again on a full-length album – their first for ten years. We’re told that the new project will be a continuation from the Old Boots album, so less punk than the Gonads are now, and that it will feature “The Garry Bushell Seven” (which is not anatomically accurate, according to Fit Bird, although how she knows is anybody’s guess). Perhaps, a reference to a magnificent seven guest stars? Intriguing.

IS John King as hardcore vegetarian as he claims? We only ask because we found this disturbing eaterie in Blackpool...

Walking in the Winter Gardens you see a long list of the great names who have played there. Les Dawson, Morecambe & Wise, Tommy Cooper, Joe Longthorne. And now? Kunt & The Gang... That funny noise you can hear in the background is the spirit of variety spinning in its grave.

Best bits for us in Gal’s Steve Ignorant podcast are when Mr Ig talks about his love for the Rejects, his belief that Stinky could have replaced him in Crass, and the pride he takes in having been ejected from a bar in France for jumping on the table and singing along to ‘We Are The Firm’ with “me shirt off and me braces down.” There’s interesting stuff about RAR too, who Steve says once forced Crass to take £2,000 for playing a benefit gig back in the day – the shocked band immediately gave the filthy lucre to a donkey sanctuary.

Have a look, Stief’s only gorn and got Nadded up...

OUT now: the third album from Criminal Damage, Call Of Death which is best described as catchy Blitz-influenced streetpunk... and the new 7inch single from female-fronted French punks La Fraction, called ‘Les Silences’ which Fat Col seems to think is about “rug-munchers wearing gags.” Dolt.

DON’T forget SKAMOUTH is just two months away featuring legends such as Winston Reedy, Dave Barker and Susan Cadogan as well as the Neville Staple Band, King Hammond etc - full line-up here. Sadly the SkaNads have withdrawn from the bill because they still haven’t found the right keyboardist. The organisers also have some space left for riders, and for company sponsorships for the Skamouth Celebrity - Charity Scooter Ride-Out...

Aug 8. FINALLY! Built For Destruction is in stock now!!! This album has been suppressed, stolen, bootlegged and banned but at last it’s in our store. Let’s hope it was worth the effin’ wait! PS. If you want to buy it as a download, here’s the link: Although now we think about it we never actually signed a contract allowing a download release. Oi, Diana, NO! Where’s The Beast when you need him??

That in-depth Steve Ignorant chat can be heard later today, here.

It’s crisis time at Nads HQ after Gal was rushed to hospital in the early hours of this morning. A concerned Fit Bird tells us: “He was rollin’ ararnd in absolute agony. Seems that Mensi bloke sent ’im a bottle of Mag Dog 357 Hot Sauce, which is the ’ottest sauce on the planet. You’re only supposed to use a tiny drop of it in anyfing you cook. But ’e’s rolled in ’alf-cut with that fuckwit Fat Col, Col’s made a midnight stir fry and tipped ’alf the bottle in... ” The effect was instant: tears, hiccups, retching, abdominal bleeding (probably); and the rest was hysteria. “It was like French-kissing a flame-thrower,” the stricken singer murmured from a stretcher en route to what could well be his death bed. Sabotage or stupidity, we cannot be sure. Nor can we yet be sure that he’ll recover in time to drive to Blackpool tomorrow, or indeed at all. But we do know one thing for sure - somewhere Tommy ‘Twelve Wives’ Mensforth will be laughing his socialist socks off.

Aug 7. Apologies to all who have ordered our new album Built For Destruction. We STILL haven’t received copies here. As soon as we do, we’ll announce it – and post out your orders immediately. Cheers!

Watch this space, Gal’s chat with Steve Ignorant goes on-line today.

We always said Rick Buckler from The Jam was a man of
great taste – who could possibly doubt it now?

Gal and Cass Pennant face the masses (Sid and Doris Puke) on the Rebellion literary stage on Saturday afternoon. But for those poor souls who can’t get there, here is a full and complete list of Mr. Bushell’s answers: 1) She told me she wasn’t married. 2) She said she couldn’t get pregnant if we did it ‘that’ way 3) Duct tape and a lot of alcohol 4) With a cucumber 5) With a marrow 6) Dipped in porridge 7) Only if she asks nicely 8) Max Clifford 9) Beki Bondage 10) South Coast Steve 11) Fingers first, it’s only polite 12) People in glass houses shouldn’t... We hope that helps.

Aug 5. Below is the picture we never thought we'd see - Gal and Steve Ignorant, as friendly as you like, knocking back the beers during a four hour session last night. What's it all about? Watch this space! But it's a fairly safe bet that Mr. Ig isn't joining the Gonads...

The new issue of Street Sounds is out on Friday. Issue 4 features Susan Cadogan, Decca Wade, Stomper 98, Maninblack, Klasse Kriminale, Crashed Out, Iron Maiden, Section 60, the 2-Tone Village, Riaz Khan, the Rival Sons, Mexican Skinhead art, Jennie Bellestar on the hottest new bands around, plus regular columnists, a brand new and very funny cartoon strip called Super-Yob (not about the band of that name) and more. All for £2. Yeah, just two sovs! (And yet still some tight-arsed bastards will try and blag freebie copies... ) You can order it on line right now here. And it will be on sale at Rebellion.

By the way if you're up in Blackpool next weekend, look out for the Randale Records stall which will be stocked up with Built For Destruction, plus the new Resort album, the brilliant Old Firm Casuals album and much more.

STOP PRESS. Gal's new novel Face Down will be released in October. It’s here - or if you're in the USA, here.

R.I.P. while we were away: genius song-writer J.J. Cale, rock writer, Deviants singer and dissident Mick Farren, and director of TV’s The Sweeney Jim Goddard...

Rankin’ Roger is releasing the live favourite ‘Muscle Ska’ (co-written by Neville Staple) on vinyl for the first time on August 16th. B-side is the unreleased ‘Civilisation’ featuring Sly and Robbie.

Aug 4. We're back! Did you miss us? Of course you did! But we never let you down. Before we closed down we promised we'd be back with news, and here it is - some good, some bad. And the biggest, bestest news of all is that the Gonads will NOT now cease to exist on New Year's Eve. Says Gal: "We were going to stop playing live at the end of the year - that was a serious decision. However within weeks of announcing it, we started to get interesting festival offers for 2014 so we've decided that the Gonads will carry on playing festival gigs and special shows ONLY. We will record at least one more official album, Greater Hits Volume 3 - The Complete Cobblers. We are also launching other projects that will be revealed on New Year's Day, and which should surprise and delight you all.

Meanwhile The SkaNads will be recording two new split eps with established Ska favourites - details to be announced when release dates are confirmed. More good news - Gal's Rancid Sounds podcast is coming back later this month... and the script of Join The Rejects Get Yourself Killed - the movie version of the Cockney Rejects story (not the documentary) written by Gal and Mick Geggus will be released shortly as an e-book. The bad news? We still haven't got copies of our new album Built For Destruction here at Nads HQ - ! Hurry up postie!

*Gal finished writing Face Down in Burgau, a fishing village in the Algarve, which reminds us of a story ex-Gonad Pete 'Manic Esso' Haynes told us about his trip to Portugal in 1984. Pete recalls: "Before going I was told how friendly the people were. I had a bloke with a false arm try and pickpocket me on the underground in Lisbon, I was burgled while I was asleep in my hotel room and the next night I set the bed on fire as I'd fallen asleep while smoking a cigarette! On the last day, on the way to airport with a terrible hangover I gave the cab driver the money I intended to change back to pounds when I arrived home thinking it was the amount I separated to pay for the cab... " We love ya, Pete, but do you ever think it could be you?

Other bits of random trivia that happened while we were away - Tony 'Two Homes' Feedback conquered his fear of flying and jetted off to Italy. Mick Geggus accidentally took his iPhone scuba-diving with him. And all of these came out: 1) Noi!se album 'Pushing On' (Pirates Press) - a compilation of all the band's previously vinyl-only releases including the sold out debut, 'Walk Beside Us'... 2) two great singles from West Coast Ska band The Interrupters - 'Family' and 'Liberty'; the Interrupters are fronted by Aimee Allen and worked on Tim Armstrong's Tim Timebomb & Friends project. Tim produces them and they'll be supported Rancid on tour soon... 3) Two brilliant early albums from Canada's Chixdiggit! - 'Born On The First Of July' and 'From Scene To Shining Scene' - have been re-released by Fat Wreck Chords as Double Diggits!, fully re-mastered and with eight never released and extremely rare bonus tracks. 32 sparkling pop-punk ditties. Dig it.

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