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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

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Sept 27. The Cockney Rejects play the O2 Academy in Islington on 28th November, and Manchester's Academy 3 on the 27th. Tickets from EVENTIM.co.uk In other news, Steve Diggle is about to launch a Pledge Music campaign to fund his new album and a box-set of his first three solo platters… and issue #1 of Louder Than War the mag is on sale here.

 

Sept 26. Urgent PRCC alert: Lars is back in town next week ahead of the Old Firm Casuals' dates with the mighty Agnostic Front. They play Bristol on Thursday, Manchester Friday, London on Saturday before heading over to Belgium, Germany and France.

 

Garry Johnson celebrated his big album deal with a private party in the heart of London's theatre land earlier today. Our Gal found the Oi poet "swathed in showgirls" and in the company of two heavy-set gentlemen he described as "Doug and Dinsdale" who were apparently scouring the capital for a gentleman from Herefordshire who has apparently "transgressed the unwritten rule". Mercifully, they had departed by the time Garry J was joined by the likes of Tim Wells, Street Sounds correspondent Norwich Matt and Lisa the anarchist who spirited him away to Attila the Stockbroker's gig at the Borderline. Fat Col reports that Attila greeted Gazza "like a long-lost brother". What happened next, we ask as one? "No idea," shrugs Col. "That twat Jeremy Hardy was on the bill so I fucked off." Good call, mate.

 

Actual noos: just out, the new album from Will Tun & The Wasted called The Anachronist's Cookbook... Manmade, a five-track ep from Citizen Fish (four songs and a dub track)... Green Day's Kerplunk album has just been re-released on vinyl... and Orange County's own Zebrahead have posted a promo vid for 'Worse Than This' as a taster for their album Walk The Plank (released next month).

 

The new Napalm Reloaded is out now packed with reviews and features including an in-depth report on Aztec synth punks Tlilhua, an interview with Croatian pathetique band Kippered Combine (with lyrics) and dark confessions from the deeply incestuous world of adult-orientated Mongolian metalcore. Plus Dutch hardcore merchants Rats Arse, inside Canning Town's The Outfit, Tory Anarchists rediscovered, Fanny Magnet, Candy Crushed, Dissect The Hippo, Dehli-based omnisexual feminist balladeer Min Jeeta and a six page Donnie & Marie retrospective. £5.

 

Sept 25. Paul Hallam's Mod photo book Odds & Sods is out next month – full of unseen images from the Mod scene of the early 80s. The reserve price if you pre-order it is £20 but Stalin has got a Jag to run.

 

Prankster news: the winner of the all-England Summer grand raffle is Brother Ernie of Feltham Close who wins a free Tarot reading plus complimentary back rub from Madame Celia, the seer of Sidcup.

 

Sept 22. Good news! Gal's latest Hungry & Hunted podcast is up now with studio guests The Graveltones and 17-year-old singer songwriter sensation Harry St Jimmy Adams. Also playing: tasty tracks from the Featherz, Steve Diggle, Dublin's Hooligan, the Chords UK, Vardis, Victory, The Son, the Dogtown Rebels, The Old Firm Casuals, Paranoid Visions, the Ska Vengers, Shandy, The Boys, Zoo Escape, and Sunday Night Syndrome. You can hear it here. Bad news! The great Gonads annual is turning into such a huge project it seem unlikely that it will be finished in time for Christmas. So a summer annual it is then.

 

In other news: The Warriors new album Operation Oi is now out via Randale Records… as is Jenny Woo's latest opus. Oh, and sticking with obscure performers, here's the trailer for the new Green Day documentary.

 

Sept 21. Dave Grohl rings. He's about as happy as trussed up Porky Pig at Number Ten when he hears the sound of a Prime ministerial zip. Seems Dave blanked last night's Emmys because the Foo Fighters got the bum's rush from the glittering ceremony (read cuntish waste of time). "We were supposed to play on the Emmys, and we were gonna play on the Emmys, and then they kicked us off," Dave fumes. Insiders tell us that broadcaster Fox was to blame. Sonic Highways did win a couple of Creative Arts Emmys on the 12th though…

 

Random guff: Wonk Unit's first album Flying The Japanese Flag is being released on vinyl by TNS Records…and a Metallica edition of Budweiser has been launched in Canada, which reminds us what happened to that Gonads Curry that FB was organising? Rumours that our esteemed road manager has used this mission as an excuse to road-test free rubies in every Indian eaterie in the Home Counties cannot yet be discounted.

 

Sept 20. The great Gonads lyric book, I Lost My Love To A UK Sub… and other Punk Rock sob stories, goes to press tomorrow featuring 40 of Gal's finest song words and an introduction by Oi poet Gal Johnson. Finished copies available next month.

 

Sept 19. Controversy surrounds the great Punk Literary Festival, with some attacking organiser John 'Football Factory' King for not including playwrights and poets, and Fat Col digging him out for booking "big names who used ghostwriters on the bill... that ain't literature, they ain't writers! He might as well have asked Cheryl Cole along to mime." But we say: butt out, fat-boy. King might be a veggie, but he's okay and it looks like a great line-up to us with the reclusive JK joined by Gal, Manic Esso, Rick Buckler, Jeff 'Stinky' Turner, Segs & Dave Ruffy from The Ruts, and Ian Snowball. It all happens at the Cockpit Theatre, round the back of Marylebone on 12th December, 12noon – 6pm. (Pranksters see your Tyler for ticket discounts).

 

The Gonads WebsiteRecord Noos: Shandy's album Tough Pucker and single 'Bish Bosh Bash' b/w 'Rock N Roll Soldiers' are now out on vinyl from Longshot. The Aussie 'sharpie' band offer a boisterous blend of glam, punk, boogie and rock'n'roll and can be heard on Gal's next Hungry & The Hunted podcast which is due out any day now… And Jeff Turner's other band The Outfit finally release their debut album Forgotten Class next month, with a launch party at the 100 Club on 24th October.

 

Sept 18. Gal’s chat with Steve Diggle about punk, drugs, scooters and of course the Buzzcocks is now up and running here.

 

The Gonads WebsiteSept 17. Great news. Oi poet Garry Johnson has been snapped up by Cargo Records. Gal has been signed up for a five year deal – here he is scrawling ‘A. Daley’ on the contract earlier today. It’s for his brilliant new album co-written with Sulo from The Crunch which transforms his most famous poems into rock’n’roll masterpieces. The album will be released on CD, vinyl and digitally, with a single and two more albums to come. More news when we get it.

 

John Lydon has released a video chronicling the making of the new PiL album, What The World Needs Now.

 

The Gonads WebsiteSept 15. Calling our mates Down Under – you won't want to miss Stranded, a documentary on the birth of Aussie punk on ABC TV tonight. Well maybe skip Geldof, but don't miss The Saints.

 

Sept 12. Last night's Heritage of Ska event was inevitably devoted to the life of the late Rico Rodriguez, although we also celebrated the continued existence of Ska legend Owen Grey, 76. Gal compered the awards part of the show which saw contributions from some of Rico's family, Mark Wyeth (the Moonstompers), Mandingo, Ollie Bailey on behalf of Jerry Dammers, and the Jamaican High Commissioner Mrs. Aloun Ndombet-Assamba - and try saying that when you've had as many sherbets as Owen. The great Neville Staple and his band closed the event at London's 229 Club. Our correspondent, Lorraine Ska-Mama tells us "It was a wonderful night, it was special to be there and everyone should feel blessed."

 

OUT now: the new Harrington Saints ep Fish & Chips. The seven track platter from Randale consists of 'Last Call (Skinhead's Wake)', 'Hands Off Our Commons', 'Side By Side', 'Let It Burn', 'Stand Tall', 'Fish & Chips' and 'Junkie'. Also available from Pirates Press in the USA.

 

BILLY Gibbons calls. He's got a solo album coming out and he wants us to plug it. Perfectamundo is a proper stew of sounds steeped in Cuban influences, except for the track 'Picking Up Chicks On Dowling Street' which he says was inspired "after a conversation with a gentleman named Colin Gannon". To which we reply, that sir was no gentleman.

 

If you're in New York tomorrow you won't want to miss this - Coney Island's Surf Pavilion is hosting a celebration of the classic cult film The Warriors. Featuring the movie, a Q&A hosted by John Joseph of Cro-Mags, and a performance from Sick Of It All. Warriors, come out to play-ay indeed.

 

Sept 9. Amazing news from last night’s big curry meeting: 1) We will be releasing our Rebellion acoustic set as a live album next year 2) With a brand new single coming first at Easter 2016 3) The first-ever bumper Gonads Annual is ON for this Christmas (as long as all the band supply their pages in time!) 4) Official videos will be made for at least three newer Nads numbers 5) A booklet of Gal’s lyrics, along the lines of Garry Johnson’s Boys Of The Empire, will be published before Xmas 6) Miss Management to investigate the hiring of a small aircraft (Oi Force One) to transport us to Brittany in December 7) A series of “unusual and exciting” secret gigs will be under-taken in 2016 8) The Garry Bushell Experience will be officially launched next year, with an album to be recorded in Cyprus. 9) ‘John King Is A Veggie (But He’s Okay)’ to be played live for the first time at the Boot-boys’ Xmas Party on 18th December 10) Talks are “looking promising” for US dates next May. In less positive news, Wattsie Watts rejected a proposal from Miss Management to “monetize her assets” via a regular raunchy webcam show. An opportunity missed, we feel.

 

Sept 7. Coast Town is nearly here! The two-day Ska & Mod fest at Blackpool Winter Gardens serves up The Toasters, with supports Small Weller, Ruder Than U and Bob On (Friday 18th) and The Selecter with supports Roddy Radiation & his Skabilly Rebels, Ska Face, Leicester’s Heavy Sol, Manchester Ska/Reggae combo Jeramiah Ferrari and Scotland’s own Big Fat Panda on the Saturday. Rhoda Dakar is DJing the after-show party. Tickets are a cockle for Friday and a score for Saturday, and are selling fast. The event raises funds for dementia care through The Alzheimer’s Society.

 

PRANKSTER Notice: The Billy Cotton Night organised by the Sidcup & Old Bexley Pranksters will now start half an hour earlier to include a tribute to Edwin Braden & The Hornblowers. Yes that Edwin Braden, the great hairy fool! See your Tyler for details.

 

Sept 6. Hawkins & Joseph, the world’s most street cred clothing brand, open a clothes store in Hamburg later this month. The lads have snapped up the old Halber Liter pub as featured in Auf Wiedersehen Pet Series One. We reckon the late great Gary Holton would heartily approve.

 

Sept 5. Gal recorded his latest new music podcast yesterday with guests the Graveltones and teenage sensation Harry St Jimmy Adams, plus tracks from Victory, The Son, the Featherz, the Ska Vengers and many more including Aussie ‘sharpie’ band Shandy currently touring Europe. More news when it’s posted.

 

It’s our big planning meeting next week so expect announcements in the coming days. One rumour that definitely won’t be confirmed is the tall story leaked by mischief-making Oi poet Garry Johnson that Gal plans to celebrate becoming a grandfather by recording a punk cover of Clive Dunn’s ‘Granddad’. Talk of babies made Wattsie broody, but when Fat Col gallantly offered to provide her with one of her own she replied: “Urgh, I’d rather have a kitten.” (Insert your own pussy jokes here, we know Col did).

 

The League of Labour Skins is making a come-back, despite the sad death of original organiser Joe McEvoy. An official Facebook group has been set up and a proper website will follow, we’re told. The LOLS are not part of the Corbyn craze however “being realists”.

 

We hear rumours that chubby git Sam Smith will sing the next Bond movie theme tune – a proper kick in the teeth for Fat Col as he had a score on Adele singing ‘Four More Pies Only’ at 33-1. It also explains why Barbara Broccoli never got back to us about our new song ‘Feel SPECTRE’.

 

Undercover Festival III hits Bisley Pavilion over the weekend of 18th- 20th of this month, with exciting young bands like The Damned, UK Subs, Penetration and the Test-Tube Babies (Wot? No Moody Blues?)… Tickets in advance from www.undercoverfest.com from £25 or £75 for the weekend.

 

Records Noos: Darkbuster’s No Revolution album is out now on coloured vinyl for a mere eleven bucks from Pirates Press. The vinyl version includes a digital download card…Crown Court’s brand new three-track single ‘The English Disease’ has been released by Rebellion Records…Bored Teenagers Volume 8 is out in December and is said to include the second rarest Oi track ever recorded – ‘Your Face, A Fucking Disgrace’ by The Porno Cassettes – along with old gems from The Destroyers, the Obtainers, the Crabs and more... Switzerland’s sugar-Oi kings Vanilla Muffins’ album The Drug Is Football (originally released in 2003 on Knockout Records) is re-released by Rebel Sound as a limited edition double 7" featuring the eight best tracks hand-picked by the band. Due out early October.

 

Sept 4. R.I.P. Ska legend Rico Rodriguez who died today aged 80. The Cuban-born veteran trombonist is probably best remembered for playing on The Specials' version of Dandy Livingstone's A Message to You, Rudy (as well as the original!) but was an integral part of the Jamaican Ska scene from the start. He worked with everyone from Prince Buster to Jools Holland.

 

Happy birthday Paul ‘Toes’ Hallam. The Stalin of Style turns fifty today. We’d celebrate it ourselves but he’s still on our shit list for “accidentally” sabotaging our album review in the latest Street Sounds.

 

Sept 3. Motorhead pulled their San Antonio gig last night. It’s their second cancelled show in a week. We’re told they won’t be back on the road until Lemmy is “properly rested”. The Texas cancellation follows a pulled gig in Denver, Colorado. Two other shows, in Salt Lake City and Austin were cut short. The Lemster walked off after four songs at the former after experiencing breathing difficulties. A band statement said: “Lemmy will resume duties the moment he is properly rested and firing on all cylinders again”.

 

Sept 1. Our mate Eddie Piller has brought out a 75-track Mod compilation, Our Generation – The Album, containing rare cuts such as The Foundations ‘I’m Gonna Be A Rich Man’ (sampled in Blondie’s ‘Call Me’), Manny Corchado’s latino Mod favourite ‘Pow Wow’ and Dexy’s Midnight Runners early single ‘Dance Stance’, as well as classic hits including The Jam ‘Town Called Malice’, The Lambrettas’ ‘Poison Ivy’, Booker T and the MGs ‘Green Onions’ and of course ‘My Generation’ by The Who. Have a butchers here.

 

 

 

 

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