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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

The shutters have gone down here at Nads HQ in beautiful downtown Charlton Village, and Bernie the guard dog is operating. This blog is now officially closed until October. Stay free.

The Gonads Website

Sept 15. Big love to our old mate Garry Johnson, the people’s punk poet, who has been seriously ill with heart problems for the last few months. The quacks say Gal needs a by-pass operation but he’s too busy preparing for court cases to check into hospital any time soon. This man is a genuine street culture legend. The way he has been treated by our joke legal system and the so-called ‘family’ courts, is a disgusting disgrace. Keep strong mate. Justice must prevail.

Random gossip: it’s official - the new Madness album ‘Oui Oui, Si Si, Ja Ja, Da Da’ is released on 29th October... Ska-punk veterans Fishbone play the O2 Academy Islington on 4th November, with our mates Buster Shuffle... Malcolm McLaren and comic book genius Alan Moore worked together on a screenplay inspired by Beauty & The Beast back in 1985 and 27 years on Avatar Press have finally made it into a comic called Fashion Beast 1. Here’s Alan discussing the project.

Calling all Quadrophenia fans: this is happening...

The Gonads Website

And while we’re on the subject of Mod, Paul Weller reckons the newly published Thick As Thieves is “The best book on The Jam and its audience I've seen... ” Although he ain’t seen Gal’s Time For Action yet... Have a look.

Belated happy birthday to our pal Lorraine Ska-Mama, pictured here with a clearly startled fan...

The Gonads Website

Serious point: it’s taken 23 years for the Hillsborough conspiracy to be exposed. WHAT THE FUCK ELSE ARE THEY COVERING UP???

More randomness: IF you want audio CDs knocked out the man to speak to is Mitch James from the Communicators whose company is called Glassbox Duplication; where do you find him? What are we? Directory Enquiries? Look on facebook, you plums... more gigs from Dennis Greaves’s old band The Truth are in the pipeline, with the original line-up... Pete Townshend’s autobiography will be published on 11th October... New Jello Biafra e.p. out 20th October... Latest NOFX song posted here.

Nads Ad: The Nosher needs a gynaecologist. Apply within...

All right, tossers. We’re off-line now for a couple of weeks. If anything major happens, it’ll be on the news page.

Meanwhile, before we go and because we love her, here are some of Jennie Bellestar’s latest songs - ‘Untouchable’, ‘Headless Chicken’ and ‘Peeping Tom’. Enjoy! Toodle pip.

Sept 11. Vive La France! Here we are on the piss with the Halfwits, our pal Guillaume and various French herberts earlier this year. See ya again in 2013, fellas. Probablement. Vivre libre, mourra libre.

The Gonads Website

Following the release this week of the rather tasty SkaNads e.p. ‘Skinhead Lullabies’, the lads are hard at work penning an equally fine follow-up 7-incher which is likely to feature four brand new songs - ‘Treble Barrel’, ‘Marylebone Martyrs’, ‘Phew (Frank Edward Wilson)’ and ‘White Tights’ (see below). A debut live UK show is expected in the next few months at the Hip Shakin’ Beat Club, we’re told. Where’s that, we ask? “Wherever we play,” answers Wattsie Watts, unhelpfully.

The Gonads Website

Sept 10. Yesterday saw a top level crisis meeting at Nads HQ on the touchy subject of live shows, or lack of them. Fat Col was reprimanded “for begging for gigs on facebook like a plum”, while various less than serious offers were dismissed out of hand (and yes, that does include the ‘promoter’ who wanted us to fund our own flights to Estonia and take a chance on the door money!) Nothing against Estonia, but come on, lads, don’t take the piss. We love ya, but not that much... FB, in beautiful downtown Charlton Village on undisclosed “other business”, actually dozed off during the lengthy afternoon session. Awoken from his slumbers, the great man was asked whether we should agree to various overseas gig offers that were still on the table. FB thought about it for a moment, and then, displaying the wisdom of Solomon, he replied with brutal honesty: “Well it’s your band, do what you ’kin’ want with it.” What a loss he is to the diplomatic core. Long story short: we are still working on several major gigs for 2013 (“the year of the Gonads”) and we are in the market for serious gig offers from genuine promoters or thriving street scenes. You know how to get in touch.

Matters arising from yesterday’s nine hour brain-storming session: 1) The Gonads’ new and official all-female dance troupe, Pussy Galore is now recruiting. 2) FB’s pet project Nadsfest will happen next year. 3) Sully Sullivan from thrash band Double Cross is currently the leading contender to replace Gal in the Gonads-without-Gal version of the band; this line-up will probably see the light of day as our spin-off project DMG. 4) After recent un-reportable developments, Lord Waistrel will meet a chastened Martin Sporrell when he (his Lordship) returns to the UK from Monte Carlo later this month to settle the bootleg issue once and for all. 5) The Beast reckons his “Beast TV” pilot is “soon-come”... but we’ll believe it when we see it.

By Bronco and Bullfrog! Our young Kent-based followers, who call themselves the Jolly Boys, tell us that they are resurrecting the suedehead look. For those in a state of darkness, suedehead was a smart, early-70s off-shoot from skinhead. Suedeheads had slightly longer hair (you could run a comb through it) and differently stylish clothes, including tank-tops and large check button-down shirts. The cult favoured brogues and loafers, Sta-Prest strides, Crombie overcoats and sheepskin coats. Prince of Wales suits were all the rage too. Says leading Jolly Boy Jim: “Original suedehead music was rocksteady and glam. We of course love that, and reggae, Ska and proper soul, but also the SkaNads, Buster Shuffle and of course the Gonads.” Gal, who was a suedehead back in his distant youth, said: “This is a brilliant development, I hope it catches on. Mama, we’re all suedeheads now!” (And anarcho-syndicalists – Political Ed). All together: “Joy-joy-joy-joy-JOLLY BOYS! Joy-joy-joy-joy-JOLLY BOYS!” (continued till closing time).

The Gonads Website

Here are a few of the latest interviews with Gal cobbled together.

Q. What's your background and what were your first musical loves? A. I’m from a big Labour-voting working class family in South East London. My Dad was a fireman, my Mum worked in a bank. No blue blood I’m afraid. As a kid I was into Trojan reggae, Ska, Slade, glam and heavy rock bands – Sabbath, Lizzy etc. I also liked Credence Clearwater Revival, the Hot Rods and Tamla. I caught the punk bug in 76 and haven’t looked back.

Q. Would you agree that 80s punk was more working class than the first wave? A. Yes. Broadly, the early punk bands made a fetish of the proles. A lot of them fabricated blue collar backgrounds and changed the way they spoke etc so they could project themselves as ‘the voice of the tower blocks’, ‘the sound of dole queue Britain’ etc. Many of the punk bands who came later were the real thing. It didn’t necessarily make them better, but it did make them more authentic.

Q. Do you think that the way 80s punk split into sub-genres like anarcho and Oi! was a strength, in that it gave it variation, or a weakness in that it was divisive? A. It just reflected reality; those sub-genres represented completely different world views, different attitudes and certainly different music styles. To most kids into Oi, for example, Crass were more like hippies than punks. The Gang Of Four were a student band. The Raincoats were just dull.

Q. What did you think of anarcho and hardcore? A. I liked the power and aggression of hardcore, especially Black Flag, the Bad Brains and Agnostic Front. A lot of those hardcore guys had an instinctive bond with Oi. I found Crass too monotonous, especially at the start, although they played some clever stunts as they got bolder. Conflict floated my boat more.

Q. How and when did you join Sounds? A. The summer of 1978. Alan Lewis, the editor, liked the punk stuff I’d written and asked me to go out and show him what I could do. I reviewed a couple of bands a night for ten days, dropping the reviews through the door the next morning, and that did the trick. A week later I was off seeing the Clash with a press pass. It was like giving a fat kid the key to Willie Wonka’s chocolate factory.

Q. Wasn't it the first paper to cover punk? A. Yes. Jonh Ingham in 76. The NME’s attitude to punk was strange. Nick Kent was obviously involved with the Pistols before the world knew about them, but NME put the boot into punk early, claiming it had died in 1977. I remember Charlie Murray slating the first Clash album! Even Julie Burchill hated punk as music, she just got off on the attitude. I loved both. NME was saying punk was dead and I was going out seeing the Ruts and Sham thinking how the fuck can it be?

Q. How supportive were they when you began to champion street punk and then launch Oi! in its pages? A. I’d written about punk bands from the start, and was covering bands like the UK Subs, the Ruts, the Skids, the Members etc. When bands like the Angelic Upstarts and the Cockney Rejects came along they were obviously different from a lot of the first punk bands, in their sound, their attitudes and their roots. I used to refer to them as New Punk or Real Punk before I hit on “Oi”, which was how Jeff Turner introduced the Rejects’ songs. My coverage of the bands and the scenes around them grew organically. I didn’t champion it out of nowhere. At the same time I was writing about 2-Tone and slightly before the Mod Revival bands, many of whom were seriously under-rated.

Q. What the other writers think of it all? A. You’d have to ask them. When I played the first Rejects ep on the office stereo with Stinky’s great shout of “Freedom? There ain’t no fucking freedom!” it went down a storm. But I think some of the others writers became a bit wary about the Rejects because they were involved in a couple of minor incidents in the office. The likes of Gary Lammin from Cock Sparrer and Hoxton Tom were up there frequently though, and were well liked.

Q. Some of the others specialised as well didn't they? Like Geoff Barton with metal, and was it Eric Fuller who did reggae? A. Yes, Eric was the resident reggae expert. Dave McCullough was into the long raincoat bands and frothing at the mouth, Betty Page was into the Soft Cell end, and S&M (allegedly)

Q. What bands from the time were particular favourites of yours? A. The Ruts, the Skids, the Jam, Madness, the Specials, the Cockney Rejects, Iron Maiden, the Upstarts, Cock Sparrer, Secret Affair, Motorhead, UFO, Rose Tattoo – loved them all! Later Blitz, the Business, the Burial, Twisted fuckin’ Sister,. and the Blood who should have been massive – just as Case should have been. The Clash were my first punk love though.

Q. What were your politics then and now? A. Then I was a Trotskyist, 100% Red. Now, I’d describe myself as a patriotic anarchist with a strong libertarian streak. Or to put it more simply, a radical Whig. I have no time for extremists of left or right, or for ‘moderates’ of left or right come to that. They’re all playing the same game. I don’t like people who want to control how we think and censor free speech, who tend to be of the Left these days. I don’t like the EU, I distrust Statists and I can’t abide racists. We actually encountered some Nazi boneheads in Harlow a few months ago. It was like going through a time warp to planet dim.

Q. Could you tell us about the New Punk Convention and Oi! nights? A. The Convention was about confronting the issues that troubled all the bands back then – violence at gigs, tribal rivalry etc. And being a socialist at the time, I also tried to encourage the bands to do benefits for anti unemployment campaigns etc. We had 57 bands at the New Punk Convention in the Conway Hall, everyone from the Toydolls from the North East to Vice Squad from Bristol. There were a lot of Oi nights, but the best (from memory) were the two Prisoners’ Rights benefit gigs that the Rejects played at the Bridgehouse in Canning Town. It was so packed you’d have been hard-pressed a shoe-horn an extra shadow into the place.

Q. How tough did things get for Oi! after Southall? A. It was diabolical. The record companies were scared off, venues were closed down to the bands. Basically the music biz accepted the very distorted view of the scene as portrayed by the Daily Mail. Only the Guardian’s Alan Rusbridger (ironically) gave the bands a fair hearing. And of course it suited the NME to take the line that Sounds (which was outselling it) was linked to something dodgy. It didn’t help that the middle class in general were terrified of skinheads and were happy to tar them all with the same brush. But it’s absolute cobblers to say that ‘all skins were Nazis’ because they weren’t. Only a small minority ever were. There were a lot of great things about proper skinheads but fuckwitted UK press coverage helped fuel this dumb misconception globally. The early punk bands had endured the same sort of shit storm but they’d had the rock press on their side. Just as the hip-hop bands would have later – and they were much more violent. People died at hip-hop gigs, rappers shot each other. But the white working class put the fear of god up the lot of ’em.

Q. And yet Oi continues to thrive, all over the world, to this day. Are surprised? A. No, because Oi was always real. It was down to earth and honest. It was blue collar punk rock plain and simple, it was never what the Daily Mail said it was. That’s why today you find Oi bands everywhere from Argentina to China.

Q. Any regrets from that time? A. Yeah, turning down groupies, quitting Sounds, not playing more Gonads gigs outside of SE7...

Q. Tell us about the Gonads. A. The second greatest punk band ever... to come out of Indus Road in Charlton! The Gonads recorded back in the day but we’ve been a proper gigging band for the last seventeen years, playing all over Europe and the US. We’re a mix of punk, Oi and Ska; we’re Oi-Tone!. We’ve released seven studio albums since 1998 which ain’t bad going. We’ve been up and coming for 35 years. We’re still up, we just don’t come so often.

Q. Tell us some modern bands that you like. Q. Okay. Booze & Glory, Buster Shuffle, the Feathers, the 335, Night of Treason, Maninblack, Monkish, Argy-Bargy, Stomper, The Sydney Ducks, Shakey’s Brother, the Uprisers, Geoffrey Oi!Cott, NOi!se, Dead Fez, the Sidewalk Doctors... loads of good bands about, most of them under the radar.

Q. And finally, what do you have coming up in the future? A. I’ve formed a spin-off group called the SkaNads, we’ve just been in recording our debut ep in the spirit of Judge Dread with Jennie Bellestar – out in September folks. And the Gonads have recorded a new song called ‘Glorious’ for a split ep we’re doing with Stomper, Iron Cross and the Old Firm Casuals. I’ve got a book about the 1979 Mod Revival coming out on October 3rd, and I’m writing the third part of my pulp fiction crime saga. Busy, busy, busy...

Sept 9. Crass are at the centre of a furious backlash, with anarcho-punks accusing the combo of “selling out” and becoming “a capitalist band who betrays what it always stood for.” The row erupted after Crass took legal action to have their albums removed from the – a file-sharing site built by anarcho-punks which gives away music for free. The site claims that Crass’s copyright complaint has led to 3,000 albums being deleted – including around 1,000 albums by French punk bands which were axed from “because they were on the same Mediafire accounts.” Or in their words, “the world’s biggest anarcho-punk music database (has been) destroyed because of Crass.” They insist that their site has always promised to remove any albums that bands do not want to be available, without recourse to me learned friends. They accuse the Epping based band of hypocrisy and of resorting to “capitalist laws”. Forum members also have a pop at singer Steve Ignorant for charging close to £20 for tickets for his last tour, which was sponsored by facebook, and Crass themselves for selling their re-mastered album for an inflated price.

In response, Crass say, reasonably you might think, that “We do not want the material distributed for free... we believe the creator of a work should have the right to determine how it is available.” The full correspondence can be found here. Our own new solicitors, Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, call this “a storm in a tea-cup... basically this site have been stealing bands’ songs without permission and when they got caught they have thrown their toys out the pram.”

NB. To those who ask us ‘Are the Gonads leftwing or rightwing?’, go away and look up anarcho-syndicalism and then come back to us.

Here’s a petition to get the Cockney Rejects into the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall Of Fame.

SKA News: Ska legends Fishbone play London 02 Academy, Islington and Trillians in Newcastle this November... Reel Big Fish’s seventh album Candy Coated Fury is out now on Rock Ridge Music. The title is singer/guitarist Aaron Barrett’s description of the band’s sound. He says: “This album is a lot like our first two. It’s got a lot of the same intensity, frantic energy in the music, and the same sarcastic sense of humour. I think these are the fastest songs we’ve done since those early albums. We’re finally just doing what Reel Big Fish does best - hateful, mean, sarcastic, and, sometimes sad lyrics, over happy, wacky, silly, joyous, fast music that makes you want to dance. This album is mostly love songs, but bitter, angry, hateful love songs.” Tracks include ‘Everyone Else Is An Asshole’, ‘I Dare You To Break My Heart’ and ‘I Know You Too Well To Like You Anymore’.

Punk Rock Book Club: a new Garry Johnson collection will be on sale from the 5th November 2012. The book features everything - Boys Of The Empire, The Story of Oi, and The Punk Poet plus the best bits from Sounds, Punk Lives and various other publications. Highlights include Gal discovering The Stone Roses and writing Suburban Rebels... also soon-come: Hallo Sausages - The Lyrics of Ian Dury edited by his daughter Jemima is published on 25th Oct.

Julian Clary won Celebrity Big Brother on Friday. But he has an even bigger honour under his kilt. It’s well-known that Julian began his career as a gay Tarzan kiss-a-gram, and that he once put Gal “on trial” on BBC TV. Less well known is that he was the surprise turn at Terry Hayes’s stag do back in the 80s... it is said that the PM has enjoyed a warm hand upon his entrance ever since. Clary’s gay-a-gram performance is not to be confused with our picture below, that’s Tesco Vee of the Meatmen live at TNT last weekend, comprehensively out-knobbing Gal’s infamous stage cock... but by the way Tesco, that does look infected to us. In a related story, the Nosher was last seen en route to Hartford, CT.

The Gonads Website

Sept 8. Here is Gal campaigning on behalf of the Minder Appreciation Society, with potential voter Dagenham Dave...

The Gonads Website

And this is our mate Tony ‘Boozy’ Barker posing with Liam from the mighty Booze & Glory. The fearsome Boozy, formerly of Angela Rippon’s Bum, has been summoned to London by Lord Waistrel to “make the Sporrell issue go away.” Say no more...

The Gonads Website

*Latest Gonads ‘groupie’ applicant, Gloria of Wood Green, invites us to “Suck black milk from my ghoul breasts for it will make you GOD.” Erh, yeah, thanks luv. Maybe next year.

The mighty Stomper 98 will release a brand new ep in December. This will include the title track from their new album ‘Bis Hier Her’ (No ****in’ idea – Translator Ed) plus a live song from their tenth anniversary knees-up in Leipzig, back in 2008, and finally a poem recited by Roger Miret “Just like Garry Johnson did on the Oi! samplers of the early 80s.” The ep will be released by Contra as a picture 7" (limited edition of 500, but with five different covers, each of which is limited to 100.)

The Gonads Website

*We have been ticked off by the Streets Sounds collective for “doing a Fat Col” (Charlton slang for being somewhat premature). It seems that issue one of this sterling new street-mag will actually be published a week later than we said, on Wednesday October 3rd. Like a heavily beaten Max Mosley, we ‘stand’ corrected.

Random bollocks: The Uppercuts are opening up for Cock Sparrer and Rancid @ The Kentish Town Forum, Sunday Dec 16th. Fuckin 'ave some!... Lana Del Rey has been heavily slated for posing for a naked GQ photo shoot – but not by us... And John King had this to say about news that Lee ‘Daktari’ Wilson is planning more US gigs for the Infas: “Is America ready for the Riot Riot Punk Rock Safari Show?”

Sept 6. Hark up, unbelievers. The Boss is a closet Oi fan! Our pal Matt met Bruce Springsteen at the Toronto International Film festival and reckons he told him he wants to see “the Cockney Rejects and the Gonads live”. Yeah we didn’t believe it either at first, but it is known that Bruce is a major punk fan on the quiet. Here he is below pictured backstage with Tim Armstrong from Rancid at the recent West Coast Riot in Gothenberg, Sweden. He also posed for pictures with Anti-Flag and Against Me! (whose drummer Jay Weinberg is the son of E Street Band drummer Max Weinberg.) Back in Canada, Springsteen took time to big up the Streetdogs and The Gaslight Anthem, among others. He has of course sung live and on record with the Dropkick Murphys – one of his sons is a huge Murphys fan – while Ken Casey for his part says he was blown away by working with Bruce, adding that ‘No Surrender’ “is a punk song when he plays it live.” The Boss, a true poet of blue collar USA, has “a natural affinity” with working class rebel bands like the Rejects. So if he turns up at the 100 Club next month make sure you buy him a pint. A passing Harvey Gardens, now out of nick, comments: “Well if he wants to see the Gonads live you’d better meet him halfway and put a few more bleedin’ gigs together.” Good point. Over to you, FB.

The Gonads Website

The new Dropkick Murphys album, Signed And Sealed In Blood, is due out early next year. The album title is a reference to a new song called ‘Rose Tattoo’, which we hope is related to the great Angry Anderson. The Murphys are asking fans to get tattoos done of the new Murphys logo. Send them the photos before September 19th if you want to be included in the album artwork.

We’re hearing good reports from last weekend’s 200 Tons Of TNT gig in Hartford, CT. Todd Raddict tells us: “It was a great time all round, great performances and no fights! But Gal and the Gonads were sorely missed.” Highlights included the Bruisers, who brought the house down on Friday, Evil Conduct who sparkled on Saturday and Infa-Riot who slayed ’em on the Sunday. “An absolutely stunning weekend of Oi,” says our mate Rodger ‘Trotsky’ Shosa.

Evil Conduct’s new album ‘Working Class Anthems’ is available for pre-order from Randale now, featuring twelve blistering new classics from our favourite clog-boys. It comes in both CD and LP formats, and the LP will be available in blue vinyl (100 copies) and black/mustard speckle (100 copies); the rest in standard black. The CD format has a 12 page booklet. Official release date is October 1st but anyone ordering now will have it mailed from the Black Forest two weeks earlier.

The new Bored Teenager compilation, out on Bin Liner Records next month, will feature THIRTY long-lost punk tracks from old time bands such as Victimize, Stereotype and Machine 45.

The Rolling Stones are bringing out a fiftieth anniversary Greatest Hits compilation in November, featuring two new tracks. It’ll be called 'GRRR!' presumably cos that will be the average fan’s reaction to being conned into buying yet another greatest hits comp.

Thanks to those who have contacted us regarding the “Gonads groupie” position, aka Fifty Shades Of Granny. No thanks to the two transvestites or the joker pretending to be Pippa Middleton. But if that really was you Kiria, you’ve got the job. Otherwise auditions kick off in October.

Sept 5. Coming in exactly three weeks time, issue number one of Street Sounds. Remember where you read it first...

Neville Staple, the original rude boy, plays the Islington Assembly Hall this Friday, 7th September. Get in! And here are the Selecter’s UK tour dates: Oct 4 - 02 Academy, Leicester; Oct 5 - Carnival Artz Centre, Luton; Oct 7 - 02 Academy, Oxford; Oct 11 - The Crypt, Middlesborough; Oct 12 – Picturedrome, Holmfirth; Oct 13 - Band On The Wall, Manchester; Oct 14 - The Venue, Derby; Oct 18 - Old Fire Station, Bournemouth; Oct 19 - The Wharf, Tavistock; Oct 20 – Queens Hall, Narberth; Oct 21 – Komedia, Bath. (Does ‘Narberth’ actually exist? asks Fat Col, who adds: “It sounds like a Scottish abortion clinic.”)

Here are a few PUKKA rock’n’roll heroes celebrating news of the forthcoming release of the Masons’ brilliant debut album... out of shot, Charlie’s tank of formaldehyde, Lemmy’s vat of hair dye, Mickey Fitz and Eddie Piller fighting to buy a round... .

The Gonads Website

We are pleased to announce that we have eleven new songs written for our 2013 album, Dirty. These are ‘Oblivion’, ‘They Died Heroes’, ‘Shitty Town’, ‘We Fear No Foe’, ‘Shut It’, ‘Son Of Frankenskin’, ‘Punk Radio’, ‘City Of Bones’, ‘Let Us Rise’, ‘Weeping Punani’ and ‘The Great Sidcup Salami Scandal’. A further new ditty, ‘Becky’s Bucket’ and a cover of the Small Faces’ ‘Filthy Rich’ are described by a passing Fit Bird as “optional.”

Green Day reckon that they’re “beyond devastated” at having to cancel a show in Bologna, Italy last night after singer Billie Joe Armstrong was rushed into hospital “for undisclosed reasons.” However Fat Col asks: “Was he really ill, or was he worried about having to follow Gal’s legendary gig with Nabat there back in March?” (He was ill, you fat f*** - A. Doctor.)

The London Punk Festival takes place this month at 229 The Venue, featuring Anti-Pasti, Ruts DC, The Business, Glen Matlock, Infa Riot, Discharge, Peter & the Test Tube Babies, Vice Squad, Department S, TV Smith and Menace... 28-30th September.

Here’s an exclusive shot of the Punk Rock Curry Club in Lee, South London, this Summer; you might recognise some of these tossers... it’s like a cross between the Illuminati and the Girl Guides.

The Gonads Website

All-girl 1980s Merseyside punk band The Iconoclasts are getting back together for a few dates... we cannot confirm or deny reports that their song ‘He’s A Pervert’ was written about Fat Col. (Don’t ask Col if he’s a pervert, he gets very touchy... )

Our Mod mates the FRIENDS OF LUCA BRASI play live at THE ALLEYCAT, 4 Denmark St, London WC2 on 21st September with LOS PEPES, WITCHES and PERSIAN VIRGINS. Plus DJs. 8pm doors - late bar till 3am. £4.50 in advance. £6.00 on the door... VFM! It’s a late summer Friday night, so get along and shake a leg or two.

Following the Nosher’s shock engagement yesterday, a Gonads groupie vacancy has arisen in the London area. (How about that for an opening... as Christine used to say... ) Don’t all rush, girls...

R.I.P. Dave Beal of Club Ska fame. His funeral is on Monday, for those who would like to pay their respects.

Sept 2. Random news: The Masons’ long-awaited debut album, We Rule The World, will finally see the light of day on Randale Records in December after about five years of US “record company skulduggery” holding it back. The street-punk classic, masterminded by Steve Whale, features guest vocals from Stinky Turner, Millwall Roi, Steve Ignorant, Charlie Harper and many more. Lars is mixing it right now... (But who does rule the world? Only the Ministry of Delusion know for sure, but their insights are swathed in mysteries, wrapped in riddles and delivered in code. Much like a text message from Terence Hayes, PM... )

In other news, Gal’s book on New Mod, Time For Action, is published on 26th September, featuring the Jam, the Jolt, Secret Affair, the Purple Hearts, the Chords and too many more to mention. You can order it now if you like. The first 999 copies have been hand-numbered, by a team of highly-trained gibbons (Are you sure? – Ed)... The Adicts release their tenth studio album, All The Young Droogs on Sept 11th – incredible that they’ve been getting away with this shit for 35 years... And The Templars’ ‘Right To Work’ single is released on vinyl on TKO this Tuesday; recorded in 1994 the previously unreleased version is limited to a devilishly fine 666 copies...

Title of the week, Dethkok’s new single, “I Ejaculate Fire.” Says Fat Col: “I had that feeling once, turned out it was syphilis.”

Our buddy, the brilliant acoustic Oi performer Jenny Woo has re-located to Moscow. She tells us “It’s great - it's a huge city with loads of culture and amazing sights. The scene is positively enormous here, which really took me by surprise. I went to a punk show with local bands a couple of weeks ago, and the place had at least a couple hundred people in there. It seems like the skinhead scene is very big too - I've met a few contacts in skinhead reggae and Oi! bands, but it is highly political. In fact, almost no gigs are advertised because of fear of bringing out the ‘wrong’ crowd. There have been a handful of murders and stabbings in the last few years, which has put a dark edge on things. On the other hand, Cockney Rejects will be playing here in December, and a lot of people are talking about that. It'll be the first big UK Oi! band to make it out here, so everyone is wondering if this concert will go well and set a new precedent.”

Sept 1. FB has moved decisively to counteract two major crises here at Nads HQ. Crisis one concerns the unofficial Gonads bootleg being touted by rogue “friend of the band” Martin Sporrell. We have now learned that the cheeky bastard is trying to line up a US label if we win our appeal to stop its release in Europe. The record contains unfinished demos and tracks we’ve rejected for being too near the knuckle. Says FB: “We are fighting this unauthorised project with every resource at our disposal. However we are aware that Sporrell has many territorial options and consequently we are aiming to finish writing and recording the official new studio album, Dirty, before he is able to get the bootleg past the courts. This treacherous business has eaten up far too much time and band money already. Instead of worrying about it, we’ll concentrate on making Dirty the stand-out oi-oi street rock album of 2013.” As an additional move, we have commissioned the recording of several special and exclusive vinyl 7” e.p. releases to be given away with our next official albums, including brand new tracks by the Orgasm Guerrillas, possibly Prole and definitely our friends The Blades – “just to give back something extra to you beautiful people, the fans,” said a passing geezer with a sick-bag.

PS. Attempts by FrankenSkin to steal back the master tapes have been thwarted, we can reveal. On Friday, our monstrous mascot was seen leaving Sporrell’s apartment block in Charlton (where he’d been operating undercover for the last two months as a novelty hat stand in the main entrance) and was said to be clutching what looked from a distance like four 2" studio tape reels. The Ministry Of Delusion has issued the following statement: ‘Frankenskin is not now and never will be, nor has at anytime been used by the Black Ops department of our organisation, as no such department exists. Furthermore, we, the Ministry, do not involve ourselves with such trivia, mainly because preparing for the Revolution takes up all our free time. If the Frankenskin wishes to waste his time stealing random objects from members of the public then we want no association with the lumbering great cretin.’ In a related story we now have four lightly used dartboards for sale...

Twenty-five minute Jam fan documentary here. From Zani Media in conjunction with Stuart Deabill and Ian "Snowy" Snowball – authors, Thick As Thieves - Personal Situations With The Jam. Fans, and those who worked with The Jam, like Dennis Munday and Bill Smith, tell us about their experiences with the Woking wonders. Directed by Paolo Sedazzari.

On the subject of Gal’s future in the Gonads, FB tells us: “We will of course be doing future gigs with The Colonel – it’s hard to conceive of this band without him. However, these shows will be strictly limited. We might try doing gigs with different singers, we might not. The important thing to remember is that our goal is and remains Professionalism and consequently we will no longer be playing badly promoted two-bob gigs in this country or any other. Only serious gig enquiries will merit a response.” FB is still working on Nadsfest for 2013, he tells us. A 600-capacity Midlands venue is provisionally in place.