Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation. As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.
THE GONADS! CHARLTON! SOUTH LONDON! STREET ROCK N ROLL! COCKNEY CULTURE! COCKNEY ROCK! OI-TONE! SKA! BEER! CURRY! WORKERS’ RIGHTS! FLAG-GIRLS! ENGLAND! OI OI OI! THIS IS WHO WE ARE!
Our shop page is now closed. For merch enquiries email waistrel@the-gonads.co.uk
Oct 31. Happy Halloween from the fearless Gonads and that fearsome babe-magnet Franken-Skin whose return is rumoured to be just five weeks away... See you in Norwich on Saturday!
Oct 30. Gigs news: The Cockney Rejects play two nights at El Barrio in Torino, Italy, this weekend…Agnostic Front start their German tour on the 6th November… Red London play Berlin on 1st March… LA’s Punk Invasion fest bill includes The Exploited, Stomper, Major Accident, the UK Subs, 999, Lower Class Brats, Peter & The Test Tube Babies, Lion’s Law, Donkey Laugh, Dead Boys, Clit 45 & more, in two venues on 15th March… and the When We Were Young fest in Vegas next October is promising Blink 182, Weezer, The Offspring, Avril Lavigne, The Gaslight Anthem and scores more.
PS. Duff called. There’s a new Guns N’ Roses album coming…
Oct 28. Oi, herberts! Don’t forget our next London show is at the Spice Of Life in Soho on Saturday the 9th November. It’s the penultimate gig of our London mini-tour which started at the 229 and will end at the Dublin Castle on 6th December – going out in a blaze of corey! That Camden show, The Gonads Flop Out, will genuinely be our last-ever UK tour date and our last-ever pub gig. Before that though is the Brickmakers, in Norwich, this Saturday 2nd November. You lucky people!
Oct 24. More shots from Riton’s Angels With Dirty Faces photobook launch on Saturday…
JC tells Lee, Gal and Steve Kent about the early days of Oi, which of course they are too young to remember.
Steve Whale and Bill outside Oi Oi The Shop.
Lilly Moon with Lee and Steve at the Elephants Head.
Inside the Camden treasure trove…
Oct 23. News headlines: Prole debut album postponed indefinitely… Orgasm Guerrillas album pushed back to 2026… new Harry Tyler novel “expected” in May 2025.
More details: the long-awaited Prole album is fully written but we are told there is little chance of it being recorded in 2025. The Orgasm Guerrillas debut full-length has also been delayed, and is due to be recorded in 2026. The delay is put down to “budgetary issues”. On the good news front, Gal is said to be “fairly confident” of finishing the new Harry Tyler by January, in time for a May launch. Fit Bird reports, “’E’s like Fat Col on a blow-up doll, straining ’ard and a bit over half-way in.” But, she cautions, “There won’t be no movement on nuffin’ else till ’e’s done his business.”
GIGS! Our next gig is at the Brickmakers, Norwich, on 2nd November, supporting Hung Like Hanratty. Tickets from wegottickets.com event number 626190. That’s followed by the Spice of Life, Soho (9th Nov) Our final London show is at the Dublin Castle on 6th December – wegottickets.com event number 631556 – featuring special surprise guests.
Oct 22. More huge revelations from the weekend’s Q&A session. Big news #1. Gal announced that Carrie Griffiths has joined the Gonads! In a short statement, he said, “Carrie has guested with us on and off for more than thirteen years. I wanted to recognise her brilliant contributions and make her position in the band permanent.” Carrie, who fronts Carrie & The Coaxers, first sang with the Gonads at Punk & Disorderly in Berlin in 2011 and stood in for Wattsie Watts at the last acoustic Xmas show in December 2023. She will also be joining the Garry Bushell Experience as a full-time member.
Big news #2: Gal confirmed that he “definitely wants” to compile an Oi 45 comp, “with an emphasis on up-and-coming bands who don’t toe the line” for 2025. Big news #3. He further confirmed that the Gonads will be back in the studio “as soon as we sign with a new, professional English label”.
*Lord Waistrel reacted to the weekend’s monumental developments by calling for the Gonads to be ‘reimagined’ as he launched a privately-funded consultation on ‘the ongoing investment potential of punk rock after nearly forty years’. His Lordship, backed by Clyde Ward, is believed to favour the band moving into diverse musical areas to protect his position as the major shareholder. But on Saturday Gal made it clear that the next Gonads album is written and will be “100% street, 100% punk”. He said: “There will be no surrender to commercialism.”
Oct 21. Gal was put on the spot at Oi Oi The Shop on Saturday by a team of lively blog reporters (Steve Kent, Lee Wilson, and Barnet Mark). The Q&A session in the Camden store’s newly christened “Bushell corner” was taped, so we can report with absolute certainty that Gal has said that the Gonads will carry on “for at least three more years”. Asked about the Camden farewell gig, Gal said, “We have been clear that the Dublin Castle gig will mark the end of the Gonads as a touring band – it’s the third leg of our north London mini-tour. But as with the Rejects, this decision has been misinterpreted. It is true that we will not undertake any UK tours again after this, but we do fully intend to play festivals and special events at home and abroad when the mood takes us.” Tune back tomorrow for more genuine revelations.
Oct 20. Some shots from yesterday’s launch of Riton’s high-quality photo-book of street herberts, Angels With Dirty Faces. These pictures are from the first part of the launch at Oi Oi The Shop in Camden’s Stables Market. Our correspondent has been unable to supply pix from the second half of the night at the Elephant’s Head due to unexplained developments.
STOP PRESS. Gal is also understood to have taken part in an informal Q&A session yesterday. We are hoping to get the transcript as it is thought that he revealed game-changing blockbuster developments… More news when we have it.
Oct 19. Ageing controversialist Fat Col has thrown in his lot with Football Factory sage John King, Two Ton Tony Madras and the BME/PPGB alliance and is now plotting a campaign of “subversive sabotage” to undermine Gal, the Gonads and our whole entourage “if the band go through with their absurd plan to pull the plugs on live touring after 6th December”. Amongst Col’s arsenal of pain are 1) “Shocking true stories about events in the Old Kent Road in the 1980s, backed up with video footage” to destabilise Gal 2) An out-of-context demo of Say What You Like to undermine the band’s reputation 3) Another demo of the unreleased and shockingly sexist song Coulda Woulda Shoulda – “which names names that certain people won’t want to hear”. And 4) His own thoroughly despicable and doubtless unresearched study, spanning more than 40 years, of “women in or close to the Gonads who disappoint in so many ways”. He is also rumoured to be forging links with our old enemies, French-based Paul Devine (round-dodger) and LA’s own Sandie West (back-breaker) with a view to former an international axis of evil “to rival the Axis powers of World War II”. A grim-faced Effete El tells the blog, “Col is either bluffing or this is blackmail and betrayal on a grand scale.” He goes on, “Don’t print this, but although I think it’s all bluff and bluster, the mere mention of ‘events in the Old Kent Road’ and ‘video evidence’ drained all the colour from Gal’s face…” Blimey.
Gal for his part is ignoring the threat and has spent many days ensconced in a Soho pub with Associate Comrade Manager FB and his personal media advisor Hockers working out “bold, detailed and subversive multi-media plans” for 2025. Fit Bird tells us he has chosen 25 songs to be recorded in 2025 once our new record company partner is confirmed. So move fast BMG, you’re missing a trick here.
Gannon came clean about his own predilections with a shock social media revelation which was posted and deleted earlier today. He wrote: “My sexual kink is me bent forward over a table, hands cuffed behind my back, face down is a bowl of double pie, double mash and liquor, with an extra pie on the side and an apple pie for afters… on my own.” Fat Col’s confession was condemned as “perverted” by a shocked Shona Wattsie Watts. “Nobody eats pie, mash and liquor without stewed eels,” she sniffed. Here, here.
Oct 17. Grim update. Fit Bird reports that Gal’s resolve to end touring is not weakening, despite treaties from such respected figures as John King, Richie Rocker, Two-Ton Tony and Maureen, the Rose & Crown barmaid. Richie, the Magi of Merseyside, responds by saying, “Well if he needs persuading, just think what quitting could do to the Gonads’ legacy. Do you really want to see Terence Hayes, PM, or even worse Fat Col fronting a post-Gal version of the band?” A blog monkey retorts: “Actually some of us would! Col singing would be Wattsie’s worst nightmare, and image El Tel singing Punk Rock Will Never Wossname and I Lost My Love To A Thingamajig!” Works for us!”
Oct 16. Here’s our next show... just two more to go after that, unless Wattsie Watts, Richie Rocker or John King and his loyal hordes can change Gal’s mind.
Here are the Top 7 Gonads tracks on Spotify: 1) Oi Mate 2) Tucker’s Ruckers Ain’t No Suckers 3) Alconaut 4) Franken-Skin 5) Valley Floyd Road 6) Federales 7) Punk Rock Till Die. And here are the top seven on YouTube: 1) Oi Mate 2) Punk Rock Will Never Die 3) I Lost My Love (To A UK Sub) 4) Jobs Not Jails 5) Federales 6) Infected 7) Alconaut. Oi Mate was huge on MySpace too, but we haven’t looked at that since the Murdochs fucked it up.
Oct 15. Here are some great pics from Saturday’s Cream Of The Crop. Thanks to Jim Jimmy James, Lazza Ogden, Carrie Griffiths and anyone else whose shot has ended up in the mix. Our 40-minute set was: 1. The Coming 2. Lager Top 3. Jobs Not Jails 4. Skinhead Girl 5. Federales 6. Buy Me A Drink, You Bastards. 7. Oi Mate 8. SE7 Dole Day 9. Charlton Boys 10. Alconaut 11. I Lost My Love To A UK Sub 12. Beano 13. Punk Rock Will Never Die/Joys Of Oi. 14. Hey You Encore: 15. Tucker’s Ruckers 16. Grant Mitchell.
Oct 14. Punk rock guru Richie Rocker has intervened after reading about John King’s great crusade to save the Gonads from self-destructing. He tells the blog: “I’m in agreement with Mr King, it would seem ridiculous to end it now”. Instead, Richie urges us to agree to play on in a scaled-back fashion and “finish in 2027 on the band’s 50th anniversary”. It’s a sensible intervention from the sage of the far northwest, and insiders say band members will argue the case for it shortly in a series of one-on-one meetings with the obstinate singer, which have been likened to the “punk rock equivalent of speed-dating but without the awkward silences and eagerness to impress”. Blimey.
Oct 13. Oh what a night! The first ‘proper’ Gonads gig for 22 months went down a storm at the 229 Club last night – pictures to come tomorrow. Renowned author and DJ John King pronounced the band’s performance as “top drawer”. But he also denounced Gal for “mad” plans for the Nads to retire from touring in December. He tells us: “I have spoken to Two-Ton Tony Madras, and the PPGB and the BME are going to start campaigns to end this madness. We have the full support of Club 77 and the PRCC. The Kingy Youth is also mulling over what action it can take. The Gonads CANNOT be allowed to stop playing live.” It is understood that the Deptford Irish Firm and members of Cock Sparrer also condemn Gal’s unilateral decision to quit touring. But Assistant Comrade Manager FB – now promoted to Associate Comrade Manager – has said “We have no plans to change strategy.” For his part, Sir Gonad was so buoyed by the performance that he has instructed the blog not to report Wattsie’s shocking betrayal of trust. Although whether he’ll feel the same when the painkillers wear off is a different matter. Fat Col condemned this decision as “a Starmer-like cover-up unworthy of the free blog”, adding, “End censorship now!”
Oct 11. Thank you all! We’ve been overwhelmed with your kind messages about Gal’s throbbing pain. Some were almost sympathetic. You’ve also sent us sage advice about how the great Gonad should reach the 229 stage tomorrow night. Your tips include, but are not limited to: via a large circus canon, or a giant catapult; on a camel on loan from Regents Park Zoo; by trapeze with the help of the Flying Wallendas; on a Roman-style lectica; on stilts (how would that work? – Ed); as the back-end of a pantomime horse; or carried on a stretcher by a suicide squad of skin-birds dressed as Carry On Nurse extras. For his part, Gal is stoically riding the pain and ignoring the fuss. He is believed to have met secretly with our former Assistant Comrade Manager FB at Office #1 earlier this week to make plans for the tour-free year ahead. Their immediate aims are 1) to secure a new record label, and 2) produce a killer Gonads 2025 album. New tracks are being worked on even as we speak.
Oct 10. Don’t panic, but Gal needs urgent surgery on his left foot. His PA, Fit-Bird tells us: “E’s in agony, ain’t ’e, and ’e can’t walk easily or stand for long for that matter.’ However, she assures us he will go ahead with Saturday’s gig. “E never pulls out, does ’e?” she said, with no hint of unpleasant ambiguity. His glamorous Spanish GP, Dolorez Perez – aka the hotter doctor from the Costa – tells us: “I examined Mr Gonad’s problem last month, it was engorged, purple, and throbbed painfully throughout. And then he showed me his foot.” Saturday’s promoters Human Punk have been most helpful, suggesting that Gal should be carried on stage by a platoon of Bushell Babes. Sadly, Wattsie has over-ruled this sensible suggestion. Instead, Gal will throw away his crutches backstage, swallow a handful of codeine washed down with best brandy and get stuck in. Says Wattsie: “He’ll be miserable and moany afterwards, necking huge quantities of alcohol, but hey, that’s condition normal.”
Oct 9. Our Dublin Castle farewell show, The Gonads Flop Out, on 6th December is nearly sold out, so if you fancy coming grab a ticket quick. It genuinely will be our last London show and spell the end of the Magnificent Gonads as a touring band. Special guests are being lined up. It’s going to be a great night! Before that we headline the Spice Of Life in Soho on 9th November. You can get tickets here. And don’t forget we’re playing Cream Of The Crop at the 229 this Saturday, a jam-packed all dayer featuring punk, Ska, Oi, cockney rock and book signings, but as far as we can tell no ventriloquist act. What’s wrong with you people?
In other news, Amyl & The Sniffers are Vive Le Rock’s latest cover stars ahead of their new album… The Cure release their first new studio album for 16 years next month… and Less Than Jake’s new EP called Uncharted is out next month, featuring seven tracks, three of them brand new.
Oct 8. Out now! The second issue of The Spotty Herbert, a superior street-culture fanzine from San Francisco. Issue #2 features such lesser-spotted herbert luminaries as Bones from the Lower Class Brats, The Oppressed, Symond Lawes, the Hub City Stompers, our own Gal Gonad and many more.
Oct 7. Quotes from recent interviews with Gal Gonad.
Q. When’s the next Gonads gig? A. Cream of the Crop at the 229 on 12th October. Then there are two in November and the big farewell show on 6th December.
Q. Is that really the end for the Gonads? A. It will be our very last show in London and also the end of us touring.
Q. Will you continue to record, and if so, what? A. Yeah, I want to carry on recording. We’ve always been a very productive band and I feel that some of our earlier recordings have been over-looked. Eat The Rich was never on a Gonads album, just a couple of compilations, and Antigallican Last Bell, one of our oldest songs, has never been recorded. Also Chaos (Herbert Version), that’s only ever been available as a track on the live bootleg, and Ripper’s Delight. I’d like to record them all properly, if I can remember the chords to Antigallican… Clouds has never been recorded either but that’s more suited to the Orgasm Guerrillas. Plus there are songs like Say What You Like which would almost certainly get us cancelled.
Q. Punk and politics, where do you stand? A. Nicky Thomas singing Love Of The Common People – that was politics. Sam Cooke singing A Change Is Gonna Come, The Temptations singing Ball Of Confusion… those songs meant more than hanging around posing for pictures in Belfast. I loved the Clash but politics for Bernie Rhodes was a marketing ploy. When we covered Joe Hill, it was an acknowledgement of my own very leftwing political past, but I’m very cynical about the virtue-signalling side of ‘punk’ today.
Q. The Gonads band has always been a bit schizophrenic, would you agree. A. Well we’ve always been known primarily as a punk rock band, but we’ve never been confined to one genre. Even on the first live double, there’s blues-rock, Cockney piano sing-a-longs, metal and a bit of reggae. I’m glad we do songs like Oi Mate and John King Is A Veggie as well as Gob and Federales. It may be that we’ll make the next Gonads album high-energy and do the ska stuff and the comedy songs on a GBX album. I’ve just written one song that is so serene, it could never be on a Gonads album. But any new Gonads release would have to be at least as good as Revolution Now!
Q. When will you release them? A. That will depend on finances.
Q. What’s your favourite Gonads song? A. Karl Marx Supported Millwall! Other than that, Hey You, Federales, Oi Mate and Gob.
Q. I feel you don’t make enough video footage. You never get the true joy of the Gonads on records, I mean the live sparkle you have. A. Well. I’m looking into making more videos. Again, we’re pricing it up.
Q. The Gonads have an assured and unshakeable place in punk and Oi history. What’s missing for you? A. Apart from hit singles, groupies, cocaine and huge royalty cheques, absolutely nothing. Nobody in a punk band today is doing it to make money. The only people playing stadiums are Green Day and the Murphys. The only thing missing in my life is the time I need to do all the things I still want to do.
Q. Will punk ever make a come-back? A. It’s never been away.
Q. Who are the best new bands around? A. Newer, rather than new, I would say Clobber, The Meffs, The Molotovs and The Chisel.
Q. Don’t you ever yearn to lead a sleepy life in a bungalow in Whitstable rather than punk rock gigs?
A. What’s the famous quote – I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
October 1st. The Punk Rock Curry Club assemble! The rowdy but friendly throng witnessed the triumphant return of Terence Hayes, PM, plus a turbo-charged JJ Kaos, a tardy John King, Lee ‘Fridge Freezer’ Wilson, Steven Whale, Timothy Wells, a hobbling and demented Galahad ‘Gal’ Gonad, Liberty Hayes, Barnet Mark, Mandy Crow, a portly man known only as ‘The Grumbler’, Max Spartan, the disappearing Steve Kent, and too many more for us to detail with a hangover the size of Tower Bridge. All good people. Apologies for absence were received from Cass Pennant, Olga Toydoll, Paul SkaNad, Miss Management, the Beast, Ginger Bob and Carrie Griffiths. Pictures, largely courtesy Jim Jimmy James, are from the Brown Bear and the Halal Restaurant in London E1. Oi Oi!
An invitation for the Gonads to play an acoustic Xmas set on the 7th December – less than 15hours after our last-ever London show – has been rejected. A band insider (Effete El) tells us: “They were tempted because it would have beaten even Sinatra’s come-back record, but in the end, Gal nixed it saying simply, ‘When it’s gone, it’s gone’.” So mote it be, we suppose.
