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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

Oct 31. It’s our last London gig on Friday (Nov 2), so get your arse down to the Boston Arms in Junction Road, Tufnell Park for a slice of punk rock history in the making. We’ll be joined on stage by Wattsie Watts (dentistry permitting) and by the extraordinary Stief who will be performing as the Franken-Skin. Other surprises might include a version of ‘Tell Us The Tooth’ for Wattsie and South Coast Steve buying a round. Friday’s bill includes Booze & Glory, Horror Show and Gloucester’s own Noise Agents. Headliners are our pals the Last Resort. Doors 6pm, we’re on at 9.50. Street Sounds issue #1 and Gonads vinyl will be on sale. Nads security is co-ordinated by Dave ‘Boy’ Green, MBE (the Fen tiger). Major Accident headline the Saturday night line-up, with Jenny Woo, the Angry Agenda and Superyob, featuring Scoops and psychic seer Frankie ‘Boy’ Flame – the David Icke {David Oicke?} of SE3 among others. Remember: The Gonads will cease gigging at the end of 2013. Use us before you lose us.

The blinding Cockney Rejects documentary film East End Babylon opens in cinemas across the land next week, but the screenings at Greenwich Odeon on Tuesday (6th Nov) and Stratford Picturehouse on Wednesday (7th) come with a bonus - the doc will be followed by a Q&A with Mick, Jeff and Gal. Both nights kick off at 8pm.

Calling all readers in New York: tonight’s Halloween party in Manhattan might be called off following the massive flooding and power outages in the city. While the Double Down Saloon suffered no water damage, they are currently without electricity although open for limited business. Maninblack is playing this by ear. If power is back on by late afternoon they will perform as scheduled. Call the Double Down after 6pm (212) 982-0543 to find out what the story (Pumpkin Glory) is. In the case of a cancellation the band is hoping to reschedule the event. PS. If you’re planning on going to Fat Col’s Halloween party tonight in Plumstead – don’t. It’ll be rank. We’ve seen his “treat” and it really isn’t.

BREAKING NEWS: TotalRock, the UK’s leading online rock radio station is to become Bloodstock Radio on 1st December 2012, after negotiating a merger with one of the UK’s best metal festivals. Bloodstock fest was launched in 2001 as an indoor event, replaced by Bloodstock Open Air four years later. The fest celebrated its most successful event to-date this year, with headline appearances from rock legend Alice Cooper, Machine Head and Behemoth. The 2013 festival, which runs from August 8th-11th next year, has already locked in Anthrax, King Diamond, Firewind, and Fozzy. Two more headliners are tba. TotalRock was launched in 2000 by Radio 1 Friday Rock Show creator Tony Wilson, ‘Voice Of Metal’ Tommy Vance, and our old pal Malcolm Dome. Gal began his Rancid Sounds punk, oi and Ska show on it eight years ago. Today, TotalRock continues to defy the dead hand of corporatisation by exposing the world to brand new bands and flying the flag for the very best of rock’s ear-bleeding heritage.

Oct 30: All our best wishes to our mates in the States facing the wrath of Hurricane Sandy.

Lee Thompson from Madness had his saxophone nicked from a TV studio when the band performed on The Xtra Factor on Sunday. Lee is appealing to mates and fans to help find it. He’s had it for years and is utterly gutted. Lee’s sax is a Selmer Silver Mark VI, serial number M108370. If you have any info please email the great man via

Oct 29. Gal’s pod-cast is up and running at Total Rock with stunning tracks from the brilliant Missing Andy, Argy-Bargy, the Feathers, Dirtbox Disco, the Phoenix City All-Stars featuring Dave Barker, Sebastopol, Flipron featuring Neville Staple, Nabat, Speakeasy, Choking Susan, The Regal Kings, Rust, The Truth, Pussycat & The Dirty Johnsons, Secret Affair, Sebastopol, Spit Like This, Speakeasy, surprisingly The Gonads (singing ‘England In Our Blood’), The Procession, the immortal Winston Samuels & a genuine exclusive in the shape of the first ever song recorded by The Co-operative (newly formed by Glen Tilbrook and Dennis Greaves). There are also two fine guests - Mod author and Bermondsey boy Terry Rawlings rabbiting, and Jimmy Edwards (not the Whacko one) who performs live in the greenhouse. Hear it here, if you like.

You’ve only got till Wednesday to buy a £115 weekend ticket for next year’s Rebellion. On Thursday it goes up to £130. Two odd facts: 1) the Rebellion organisers have yet to announce their major headline bands. 2) Gal has had his answer machine turned off for days. Coincidence? (Yes – Darren Russell).

We hear whispers that Jenny Woo (perhaps the finest Chinese Canadian skinhead folk singer in a particularly crowded field) will be doing a spot of recording while she’s in London town next weekend – with everyone’s favourite firebrand Louise Distras...

Oct 28. Fire! I’ll take you to burn! There may be better ways to see in the New Year but we haven’t heard one yet. Arthur Brown is MCing a Nutty New Year Ball at 229, the home of Le Beat Bespoke Festival, with an international DJ line-up across three rooms. There’s Northern Soul in the ballroom, authentic Mod club sounds in room two and psychedelic mania in the beat basement. Doors 9pm-6am. All night bar. Nearest tube: Great Portland Street, which is right opposite + also Warren St, Regents Park and Oxford Circus all 5 mins walk; PLUS it’s free transport on London’s bus, tube and trains on New Year’s Eve. Tickets £15 in advance or £20 on the door from

The Gonads Website

Oct 27. All of our good wishes go out to Wattsie Watts who is still suffering from rotten tooth ache. La belle Wattsie tells us she has “a nasty swelling in my mouth”, to which the oafish Fat Col responds “not for the first time.” Shocking. Let’s hope she has recovered in time for Friday, which will officially be the Gonads’ LAST EVER gig in London. Yeah, you heard that right. We ain’t doing a Sinatra. This is the end. No come-back tours. No nothing. It’s finito, Hirohito.

Gal recorded his Rancid Sounds podcast yesterday with special guests Mod author Terry Rawlings and Jimmy ‘Action Time’ Edwards playing live in the studio. Featured bands include Missing Andy, the Feathers, Dirtbox Disco, the Phoenix City All-Stars featuring Dave Barker, Sebastopol, Flipron ftrg Neville Staple, Nabat, Speakeasy, Choking Susan, The Regal Kings, The Truth and more – including a track by the new band formed by Glen Tilbrook and Dennis Greaves whose name anyone professional or sober would have written down. Like Waistrel on a Viagra drip, the pod should be up soon.

Out now: the This Is Hardcore photo book, compiled by Joe ‘ Hardcore’ McKay, full of full-colour pix by Robby Redcheeks, Todd Pollock, Aaron Weber and more, with an intro by George Hirsch from Blacklisted.

Friends of Waistrel tell us that the good Lord has become “obsessed” with Argy’s new album to the extent that he is now instructing Nads band members to eat “pie sandwiches with sugar-coated chips” to try and emulate the alluring Argy look (described by The Bitch as “like a bunch of white van men stuck midway between transforming from Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde.”) Clearly Gal and South Coast are making better progress in this respect than Nacho and Mav.

Gross or what? Col says he has received a “groupie audition tape” from a well-built fraulein from Leipzig in Saxony which apparently shows the Deutsche damsel in question “sucking clotted cream from the beards of two stocky Gal Gonad lookalikes.” Is there no decency left in this wicked world?

Oct 25. Return to the Fish Farm! Gutan tag, folks. We will play Schramberg in the Black Forest again on March 9th, with our friends Schusterjungs. But please note that live shows will be strictly rationed throughout 2013, and will STOP completely after that – see the M.O.D. page for the Ministry’s latest visionary edict on the Gonads’ future.

Random goss: good news for those going to see East End Babylon in Greenwich and Stratford – Jeff and Mick will be conducting a Q&A session after the screenings... The Rolling Stones will play a warm-up gig in Paris tonight, fresh from their appearance on Prehistoric Autopsy... Anti-Flag are celebrating their 20th anniversary by playing songs from their first four albums tomorrow at the Florida ‘Theater’ of Gainesville... the new issue of Vive Le Rock, now on the newsstands, is a 2-Tone special featuring Madness, Pauline Black and Gal’s memories of the 2-Tone tour of November 1979. The mag also has features on Ian Hunter, Cock Sparrer and a Malcolm Owen tribute. All for a fiver.

Oct 24. The most important item today, or indeed any day, is the great Gonads groupie shortage. A recent appeal for new ones did not produce women of the required standard and Fat Col tells us he is now being forced to look further afield, to Germany, Italy or “perhaps even Scotland” to replenish stocks. Ozzy Osbourne sympathises. “We used to attract real horror bags in Sabbath,” Oz recalls. “All screaming pimples, goofy teeth and fish-eye lens glasses, but we'd be so fucking drunk we didn't care. Other groups' roadies used to get better-looking groupies than us.” Led Zep were involved in one of the most notorious and demeaning groupie incidents involving a red snapper and a redheaded slapper. Former Zeppelin tour manager Richard Cole explains: The chick happened to be a redhead with a ginger pussy... And she loved it. It was like, 'You'd like a bit of fucking, eh? Let's see how your red snapper likes this red snapper!' That was it, it was the nose of the fish, and that girl must have come about twenty times... No one was ever hurt.” Well we’re glad to clear that up. Anyway, ladies, we have a good supply of eels here and plenty of time to kill.

Oct 23. Lord Waistrel breezed into Nads HQ this morning regaling us with his plans for a punk rock answer to Gangnam Style to be called ‘Gonads Style’. His Lordship revealed that he has commissioned Clyde Ward to co-write and produce it. Pausing only to sink his tradition pint of champagne top, his Lordship uttered the words “Save the badgers, cull the Cabinet!” before being whisked away to a Japanese-style bath-house to be, er, whisked away himself by geishas. PS Waistrel asks us to mention that Lord Waistrel & The Cosh Boys and the Orgasm Guerrillas are both available for live shows “for exorbitant fees”. There is no news yet on the new line-up of Prole except to say stranger things have happened.

Jolly Pranksters news: calling all brethren, regional Guy Fawkes bonfire parties have been cancelled this year to be replaced by Jimmy Savile parties, by order of the PM. Said Effete El: “Nothing will give us greater pleasure than to see ‘Savile’ go up in flames. Let a thousand Saviles burn!”

Last night’s Time For Action launch was an up-beat cozy affair, attended by such luminaries as Simon Stebbing (the Purple Hearts and Speakeasy), Buddy Ascott (Chords, The Rage), Barry Cain (author 77 Sulphate Strip), the dapper Stief A’Billy, Dave Edwards (ace Mod DJ), King Brillo manager Rodger, and more. Paul Hallam, who famously doesn’t do SatNav, Wednesdays or punctuality, turned up late sporting a Lenin badge and deflated the atmosphere with wild talk of his new ‘Millwall Mod’ badges (how unnecessary – Ed). Apologies for absence were received from Wattsie Watts (getting drilled the next day, but only by a dentist sadly) and Acid Jazz luminary Eddie Piller rumoured to be “on the run from people he owes drinks and royalties to.” According to Hallam: “Ed says he’s at the Q Awards, he certainly won’t be in the queue to buy a round.” Et tu, Stalin? Snapper Paul Wright supplied these pix.

The Gonads Website
Police hold back the crowds outside Gal’s latest reading, or possibly
Millwall ‘Mods’ having a pop at Palace... we’ve lost our notes

The Gonads Website
Stalin and Dave Edwards discuss which Ben Sherman cut best disguises a budding beer gut.

Talking Mod, the new book on super-cool sixties greats The Action, called The Action – In The Lap Of The Mods by Ian Hebditch and Jane Shepherd really looks the business. The classy tome is selling for £35 on amazon but it’s a labour of love that has taken ten years to compile, and deliciously detailed.

Meanwhile at the punkier end of thangs, the Circle Jerks DVD, My Career As A Jerk filmed by David Markey, is released in the USA today, featuring interviews, rare live footage and historical perspective.

Oct 22. Good news: Richard England is out of his coma and out of intensive care. He is said to be “responsive” and doing well.

Bad news: the remaining two jailed members of Pussy Riot have been packed off to prison camps many miles from their families. Unconfirmed reports say that Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, 22, has been sent to Mordovia, about 300 miles east of Moscow, and Maria Alyokhina, 24, to the Perm region, which is 700 miles east of the Russian capitol. Both were convicted of "hooliganism motivated by religious hatred" in August. The women's lawyers had argued that they should remain in jail in Moscow to be closer to their children.

Our pals The Friends of Luca Brasi play the Dublin Castle, Camden on Thursday 22nd Nov 2012. £5 advance (via TicketWeb) or £6 on the door... (Luca Brasi’s almost fanatical loyalty to Don Corleone was unquestioned... Brasi often claimed that he'd sooner kill himself than betray the Godfather. Since Vito was the only one who could make Brasi stop a killing spree, this made the Godfather a far more risky Don to attempt killing than the others... )

The Gonads Website

STOP PRESS. Our thoughts are with East End Babylon director and all-round good egg Richard England, sadly in a coma after falling down some stairs on Thursday. Get well soon, Rich.

Oct 20. Quick reminder, the next Time For Action event is this coming Monday 22nd at the Acid Jazz store, 108 Commercial Road, Spitalfields, London E1. Gal will be signing, reading and doing a Q&A session with Buddy Ascott from the Chords, Gary Sparks of the Purple Hearts and renowned South London Mod DJ Tony Class. 6pm – 9pm.

Please note: the Nads shop has completely sold out of Greatest Hits Volume 1: Plums on CD. We’re only stocking the vinyl copies now.

Oct 19. Much fury greeted the exorbitant prices for the Rolling Stones reunion gig tickets, which range from £106 to £950 (£1140 with surcharges); the price of a standard seat is an eye-watering £406. (In contrast, it’s just £25 for two days at the North London Oi fest Nov 2nd – 3). The large fees mean each Stone will receive £1m for each of the four nights in London and New Jersey. Gal described the cost as “a sick joke, and a poke in the eye for fans – don’t these greedy bastards know that there’s a recession on?” He fumed: “This ain’t rock ’n’ roll, it’s cabaret for the filthy rich.” Lord Waistrel on the other hand calls the ticket prices “inspirational” and “a drop in the ocean.” He adds that “as the tickets sold out instantly they are clearly not over-priced, that is basic economics.” His Lordship also announced that his own band, Lord Waistrel & The Cosh Boys are now available for “a mere” £100,000 per night + champagne & Frittata rider.

Oct 18. Breaking news: Gonads 2 (the working title for the Gonads without Gal; also known as the No-Nads) will play their first-ever gig with singer Mike Skin-Meister Brand at the Anvil, Bournemouth, opening for the UK Subs on November 29th. The band will play a half-hour set. However leading commentator, Terence Hayes, PM, has condemned the Gonads 2 project as “ludicrous, you can’t have the Gonads without Gal, it’s like rice without curry, Slade without Noddy, Katie Price without cleavage.” Or indeed, balls without cock... the world has gone mad. (We tried to contact Lord Waistrel for his comments but he is apparently “breaking in a new pack of beagles” with Roger Scruton, and cannot be disturbed. Tally-ho!)

Here are the latest cinemas showing East End Babylon next month...

The Gonads Website

Well done StreetSounds on 1,000 issues sold.

Deeply improbable, we know, but here is a bona-fide, un-doctored shot of the notoriously tight-fisted Lee Wilson at the bar actually getting ’em in! The astounding evidence, supplied by one of our ‘sleaze’ of disreputable informants, shows the slippery Infa-Riot singer Buying A Round during the recent Time For Action launch party at the Golden Bee. An ashen-faced Chelsea Dom tells us: “I haven’t been so shocked since you published that picture of Frankie Flame at the bar in 2010.” Whispers that photos of Micky Fitz exist in a similar round-buying scenario have been dismissed by experts as “faked and ridiculous.”

The Gonads Website

Ska news: there’s a big London Xmas Ska knees-up on 22nd December at the Islington Metal Works with Gladdy Wax, Mistah Brown (Tighten Up) + Phoenix City All-stars live... THE LONDON INTL SKA FESTVAL 2013 is ON for next Easter (28-31 March); confirmed acts include Rico Rodriguez, Pama Intl, The Toasters, Intensified, and the Sidewalk Doctors; more names tba, and early Bird tickets are on sale now from HERE... THE TOASTERS celebrate their 30th anniversary by releasing two albums on 22nd October - 30TH ANNIVERSARY and POOL SHARK - a reissue of their classic debut album +8 bonus tracks... PAMA INTERNATIONAL return in 2013 with a brand new album Soulfire!... meanwhile in the USA, The Pietasters and Pilfers hit the road this weekend, with the Skalapalooza Tour 2012. En route, there will even be a reunion show from the mighty Edna's Goldfish.

Oct 15. To Camden yesterday, where Gal sang a duet with Stief A’Billy on the new Noxious Toyz single, ‘Southend Rhapsody’. The saucy Skarettes came along too, to supply backing vocals and the result has been described by a passing music expert as: “Gen X meets Joe Boxers with a pinch of Clash”. The song takes an Essex v Espania stance and even Fat Col will love it because it mentions the Valley (Floyd Road). The single is out in January b/w ‘Jog On’ which guest-stars the wondrous Jennie Bellestar.

The Gonads Website

The Gonads Website

The Gonads Website

The fabled Filaments are playing their first hometown gig in ten years on 26th October in Chelmsford. This is a reunion show for the famous Army & Navy Pub, where everyone from The Damned to The Business have performed, and where Argy Bargy played their first proper gig in 1993. Oh and Rose Tattoo played their first UK show in 19 years there in 2001. All the info is on here. (The Filaments disbanded in 2006 but seem to have done more come-back shows than Sinatra).

The vinyl version of new Rejects album ‘East End Babylon’ is on sale from 25th October from our pals at Randale. The ten track platter will be available in claret & blue (100 copies), blue (100) and the rest in black. Side A: 1) Your Country Needs You 2) Grasses ’N Snides 3) I Love Being Me 4) The Devil Went Down To Essex 5) East End Babylon. Side B: 1) Scars To Prove It 2) Silvertown 3) Bang Out Of Order 4) Back To My Roots 5) In Control Forever.

Here’s the first glimpse of ‘Just The Filth’ – out in six weeks time...

The Gonads Website

Gig news: Bad Manners have their Xmas knees-up at London’s 229 on 21st December... the New York Ska Jazz Ensemble play Islington Assembly Hall on 17th December... while some obscure band after publicity called the Rolling Stones play two shows at the O2 next month (25th and 29th)...

Breaking news: Jerry Lee Lewis’s one-time bassist BB Cunningham was killed in a shootout yesterday in Memphis, Tennessee. BB, 70, was working as a security guard at an apartment complex when he went to investigate a near-by gunshot noise. Witnesses heard further shots and Cunningham, along with an unidentified 16 year old, was found brown-bread at the scene.

STOP PRESS: Our New York brother band Maninblack will be performing Halloween night (Wednesday, October 31st 2012) at the Double Down Saloon in the East Village of Manhattan (14 Ave. A, 10009, near Houston). Guests include DOOMSDAY! The Ultimate Mephiskapheles Unplugged Tribute and punk/reggae DJ Agent Jay. The event begins at 8pm, with Maninblack hitting the stage with guest drummer Joe Livingston at about 9. Black Dalek Records will be giving away some free mini CDs of Fighting In The Streets b/w The NYC along with some pins and stickers. In equally important news Maninblack welcomes new bandmate, electronic drummer, David Masem. David is currently rehearsing with them and will begin performing live with his Roland V-Drum set-up after the Halloween event. Meanwhile RJ Demler has returned to Maninblack on bass guitar and bass pedal synthesizer while Michael Brown has switched over to keyboards and special EFX.

Oct 13. Okay kids, Christmas is coming, our Col is getting fat (fatter), so please put a penny in Lord Waistrel’s hat. For your Yuletide pleasure, his Lordship is offering an amazing Xmas deal this year. ALL of these great books are now available for just £5 plus p&p! That’s right: DANCE CRAZE (The 2-Tone Story), The FACE, TWO-FACED and THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARRY BUSHELL can each be purchased at the knock-down price of one “JACKS” for the next nine weeks – all from Gal’s shop page. We’re killing ourselves for “the kids”, people!

There’s a new Time For Action event, on Monday 22nd October, in Spitalfields, East London - a book reading plus Q&A with Mod legends Tony Class, Buddy Ascott from the Chords, Purple Hearts drummer Gary Sparks and naturally Gal. Numbers are strictly limited, so to reserve a place email

There’s still time to get tickets for the specialized “Big One” Ska weekend. The line-up includes the genuinely legendary Rico Rodriguez, King Hammond, The Communicators, Rhoda Dakar, Jamaica’s own Winston Reedy, Roddy Radiation, Orange Street, Max Splodge (bizarrely), the Specialized All-Stars and many more - all in aid of the Teenage Cancer Trust. The main mover behind the event is Paul ‘Willo’ Williams, author of the Specials’ book You’re Wondering Now. Willo has already raised just shy of £20,000 for the charity by releasing two vinyl EPs and a vinyl album, manufacturing digi downloads, t-shirts, mugs, badges, and a promo tour and gig in Australia. The Big One takes place between 19th and 21st October and includes Horace Panter’s art, a tattoo stall, bars, restaurants and a platoon of DJs including 2-Tone treasure Trevor ‘ET’ Evans. Tickets here.

Oct 12. Okay, listen up, folks. The Gonads, The Chords, The Masons and various other bods are launching ‘Rock ’n’ Roll Out The Barrel’ – a charity project to help deliver a million water barrels to disadvantaged folk in Africa. Simple stats: nearly two and a half billion people still have to collect their water from wells and pumps; walking on average around five miles every day to do so. If they were supplied with roller-barrels, instead of having to physically carry containers, they could more than double what they collect, and bring the water home much quicker and easier. Serious details here. We are planning to release a charity compilation album to help raise awareness for the campaign and are actively seeking high-profile supporters. Says FB: “This great humanitarian project will help relieve the suffering and help the lives of some of the world’s poorest people.” There is no punch-line because this is no joke.

Rancid are releasing a 20th anniversary box-set comprising 46 vinyl 7inch records. Called Essentials, the set will be produced by Pirates Press; it’ll include all of the band’s albums, that’s 150+ songs all re-mastered and spread over the singles. It’ll come in a black leather box and the first 500 mail orders will include a limited edition Rancid Louisville Slugger baseball bat.

Calling all Pranksters! This year’s ‘Festivus’ will be “unmissable”, according to Terence Hayes (The Lad Himself). See your Tyler for the gory details, and step off with the left foot. SMIB!

Cass Pennant’s Casuals documentary is getting a special screening in East London tomorrow afternoon (2pm). The venue is Oxford House, Derbyshire Street, off Bethnal Green Road E2 6HG (nearest tube Bethnal Green on the Central Line). Q&A session includes Cass and film-maker Jessie Grace Mellor.

Oct 11. Gal left his sick bed earlier this week to finish off his solo album, ‘Just The Filth’ at Pat Collier’s studio. This saucy project, featuring everyone from Nick Welsh to Francine Lewis, will be unveiled like a Madonna nipple in early December. Fat Col, who ferried Sir Gonad to and from the wilds of Forest Hill, was tight-lipped about the details. But he did reveal: “The big shock was discovering that Micky Fitz had been in there the day before with Booze & Glory recording an ep full of bleedin’ West Ham songs. Bad enough having to record with a mystery virus” (Man flu? – Ed) “but this may have pushed Gal over the edge.” You can hear the boys’ claret and blue cobblers here... if you must.

Quick up-date – the next Gonads live show is at the Boston Arms, Tufnell Park, North London on Nov 2nd. More dates will be announced before too long. Meanwhile the SkaNads debut ep - featuring ‘Threes Up’, ‘Beer Can’, ‘It’s Getting Harder’ and ‘Vexation’ - can be purchased from here.

If you want to sell StreetSounds, the £2 mag is available at a wholesale price of twenty issues for £20. Email this guy for info:

Random goss: Stinky Turner popped up as a TV soccer pundit on Sport Tonight Fan Zone on Tuesday. Jeff is also turning his superb Cockney Reject book into an audio-book... Besotted Chelsea Dom is spending so much time in Merseyside he is now known as “Scouse Dom” by pals... new Green Day songs will feature on the soundtrack of a CSI: New York episode broadcast in the US a week tomorrow... Odd, Tim V’s sham-Sham have yet to announce a date for October 20th – if you recall, Tim claimed the band had a gig that night preventing Tony Feedback from playing the Oxjam fest in Leicester with us; we’d hate to think he was lying... The M.O.D. has commissioned FB to write a glossy booklet entitled The Two Souls of the Gonads, which will “examine and evaluate the duality at the heart of Gonadism” – or in words we can all understand, map out the contradictory strands within the band, i.e. anarcho-syndicalist rage vs. the oi-oi knees-up tendency. Says a spokesman: “The fact that very few copies of the booklet will ever be bought merely underlines the essential purity of the project.” The duality is said to be “Kant-like” – at least we think he said Kant.

Oct 10. Breaking news: One of the three convicted members of Russian punk art collective Pussy Riot has been freed. There were cheers in court when the two-year jail term on Yekaterina Samutsevich (known by vile sexists as “the pretty one”) was suspended earlier today. However, the other two women, Maria Alyokhina and Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, had their sentences upheld.

The Gonads Website

Oct 8. Get in! Issue #1 of Street Sounds is now on sale from our shop page and is thoroughly recommended... we hear issue #2, out in January, will be "even busier."

The Gonads Website

A busy weekend for us all, as Gonads vocalist auditions were held in Bournemouth and Charlton Village. The race to replace Gal (for many UK gigs) now appears to have come down to two evenly-matched but very different contenders. The favourites are Mike Skin-Meister Brand, an Agnostic Front loving ex-squaddie who promises to take the Nads in a "heavy, hard-core direction", and South London comic Bill Outstanding who, according to Harvey Garden, is "very funny and completely in tune with the 'Oi Mate' big fun end of the band." An emotional FB commented: "The Gonads are now at a crossroads - do we plunge ever deeper into hard-hitting, minge-singeing shock rock or do we concentrate on the 'oi-oi party-punk knees-up' end of the spectrum?" As ever, Lord Waistrel's decision will be final. However expect at least one of these fine young bastards to make their stage debut with us at the big London Oi! Weekender next month. Exciting!

The Gonads Website
The Gonads Website
Bill, barrow boy
Mike, bellow boy

Our mate Stief from the Noxious Toyz has asked us to plug the band's Christmas ep. This is particularly annoying as it reminds us that we've left it too late to record and release our own 'Oi! To The World' Xmas ep for the third year running. And also because their stuff is moderately poppy and might therefore actually get played by some random Radio 1 DJ with time on his hands in-between assaulting minors and general sex-pestering. Stief's songs are 'Santa Brought The Toyz' (ain't they released this before? - Ed), backed with 'Silent Night'/'Stille Nachte (1914 Christmas Day Armistice Edit)' and 'Santa's Roasted Chestnuts Mix' - an acoustic(ish) version of the A-side. An unimpressed Fat Col describes the ep as "a proper misel-turd" but he is a very grumpy and bitter old geezer.

Out this week: Less Than Jake's album 'Borders & Boundaries' which is re-released as both a CD+DVD and an LP+DVD by Fat Wreck Chords. This great album from 2000 finds the mighty Ska-punk combo at their catchiest and punkiest. It comes with unheard demo versions of three of the best album tracks. The DVD is a live performance of the original album in its entirety. LP includes download card.

Here are the Pukes at the ‘Art Of Punk’ book launch at Tate Modern (very posh) – pic by Rhiannon. Is this a good time to mention the PM’s furious new Punk Against Ukuleles initiative?

The Gonads Website

Oct 7. Here’s the cover of our latest release – a split single with Moscow-based punk band Urchitel Truda. The Gonads – we’re strictly global, mannnn.

The Gonads Website

Gal is looking for an “inspired” director to take over the reins of the Nads movie, ‘Curry On Up The Gonads’. The project, fully endorsed by the Ministry of Delusion, is described by those who’ve read the script as “high-energy, punk-surrealist comedy – like Dali mashed up with the Great Rock ’n’ Roll Swindle.” Investors are now being actively pursued. Says Harvey Gardens: “Guest stars are likely to include various 2-Tone luminaries, Millwall Roi, Mick Miller, kick-boxers, Chris Powell, Joey Blower, Page 3 girls, trapeze acts, contortionists, Tulisa, fire-eaters, jugglers, Joe Pasquale, old firm skinheads, Ricky Tomlinson, Frank Bruno, Peter Dean, a Supremes tribute act, Barbara Windsor and Jerry Sadowitz. This movie will blow your ****in’ mind.”

The SkaNads will play what could be their debut live show on March 2, 2013, down at Bournemouth Pier Theatre. The ‘Two-Tone Taster’ all-dayer will kick off at 12noon and end at 2am. Headliners are The Dualers.

The Gonads Website

Oct 6. Congratulations to Jeff ‘Stinky’ Turner and family. Jeff’s daughter had her first baby – a girl - yesterday. A cockle to the first man brave enough to request ‘Grandad’ at the 100 Club tonight.

Oct 4. We are the Mods! Erh, actually we’re not. But there was a bleedin’ lot of them at the Golden Bee launch party for Gal’s latest book Time For Action last night. Amongst the merry throng were Dave Cairns (Secret Affair), Chris Pope and Buddy Ascott (The Chords), Simon Stebbing, Just Jeff and Gary Sparks (Purple Hearts), Tony Feedback and John Woodward (Shorty), ace face Grant Fleming, veteran DJ Tony Class, Terry Rawlings, Gal Lamming, trACEy, Eddie Piller and Martin Wilson and Steve Martinez from The Directions. They were joined by luminaries Buster Bloodvessel, Carrie Griffiths from Buster Shuffle, Matt Berry from The I.T. Crowd (!) and such legends of street culture and this blog as Hoxton Tom, Tottenham Sean, Terence Hayes (PM), John King, Cass Pennant, Steve Whale, Slippery Lee Wilson, Mark Wyeth (Symarip), Bev Elliott, Manic Esso, Spizz, the feisty Feathers, Chelsea Dom, Barnet Mark, Stief A’Billy, Max Splodge, Lorraine Ska-Mama and of course the ravishing Wattsie Watts.

It’s all a bit hazy at the moment, but as far as we can recall the only real oh-dear moment came when Gentleman John (SkaNads & bar) attempted to strangle Chris Pope... It wasn’t entirely John’s fault though. This is how the trouble started. GJ : “Why are you destroying the Chords?” CP: “For c***s like you?” GJ: “Did you just call me a c***?” And seconds away, round one (John’s Dad was, famously an ITV wrestler after all... ) Oh and Buster told us he is emigrating to Bulgaria at the weekend... more will be revealed if and when we remember any of it. We may even find some pictures in focus. Big thanks to Dave Edwards for DJing, to Rodger for selling the books and to Paul ‘Stalin of Style’ Hallam for putting it all together against the odds.  Thanks also to Paul Wright for this set of photos.

The Gonads Website
The Gonads Website
'Stalin' and Gal
Scooters outside the Golden Bee

The Gonads Website
The Gonads Website
The Gonads Website
Brett 'Buddy' Ascott
Carrie Griffiths & Lorraine Reeves
Dave Cairns

The Gonads Website
The Gonads Website
Cute bouncers... Wattsie & Hattie
Hoxton Tom, Bev Elliott & Jimi... and Grant Fleming's arm?

Some more photos from the Golden Bee

The Gonads Website
The Gonads Website
Gal reads extracts about the Mod pilgrimage
to Paris, 1979, under the watchful eye of
toastmaster ‘Jim Catt’
Listening intently: Stief, a benign Gentleman John
before the Chris Pope incident,
and the Perfect Master...

The Gonads Website
Buster and fans, including Max Splodge and Lorraine Ska-Mama, give it some tongue

The Gonads Website
Birds of The Feathers flock together, with Wattsie and Spizz

The Gonads Website
Time For... Tony Feedback

The Gonads Website
One of the launch party bars

Issue #1 of StreetSounds went on sale for the first time last night and went down like the Mary Rose with big thumbs up all round. There will be a proper launch party for the new mag soon – watch this space. You can buy it from here. Or from our own shop page next week.

The SkaNads e.p. – hotter than hot...

The Gonads Website

The Gonads Website

Oct 2. It’s the launch party for TIME FOR ACTION tomorrow night. Gal's definitive book on the Mod Revival of 1979-81 includes the rise (and fall) of The Chords, Secret Affair, The Purple Hearts, Long Tall Shorty and many more, including forgotten but blinding bands like Speedball and the Small Hours. The party is at THE GOLDEN BEE in Singer Street, London, EC1V 9DD. From 6pm till 10.30pm, with DJ David Edwards. There will be a reading and book signing session by the author plus "lots more" - including issue number 1 of StreetSounds on sale for the first time. The venue holds 300 - so get there ‘Liz Hurley’ to avoid getting turned away like Andrew ‘Thrasher’ Mitchell, MP, from a policeman’s ball.

Quick updates: Street Sounds #1 can be now be ordered on-line.

Gal’s latest podcast is up and running now, featuring tracks from Case, Rust, Chokin' Susan, Discharger, Chris Pope, Patriot, the Addicts, Dr Woggle, The Angry Agenda, Pussycat & The Dirty Johnsons, English Sporting Defeat and many more; with studio guests Honest John Plain from the Boys, and Buddy Ascott; sadly Herculean levels of pre-show drunkenness ensure that, in Gal’s words, “the quality of songs is in inverse proportion to the competence of the DJ”: (So what else is new? - Ed)

Big news: The case against former Cro-Mags member Harley Flanagan seems to be falling apart. Flanagan was accused of stabbing current Cro-Mags bassist, Mike ‘The Gook’ Couls backstage at the Webster Theatre in New York, in July before being subdued by bouncers and hauled off by the Old Bill. Now the court case has been pushed back until December with rumours that the prosecution case is “standing up like Stephen Hawking”. Harley is charged with criminal possession of a weapon, and two counts of assault in the second degree. The charges are only valid until December 8th.

It is looking increasingly likely that Gal will “semi-retire” from the Gonads; Fit Bird says merely that “’E ’as more on his plate than that ’orrible Gemma bird on TOWIE; ’e may do the odd gig, but ’e wants to concentrate on ’is books, don’t ’e?”. Rumours that an offer from Bam Bam Barker to play Glasgow for “a pie, a pint and a bus ride to the gig” may have pushed him over the edge cannot be confirmed. More news when we have it.

R.I.P. Frank Edward Wilson, who died from prostate cancer last week aged 71. Motown producer Frank worked with some of soul’s most stellar stars including Marvin Gaye, the Supremes and the Temptations. He is best known now for his own 1965 single ‘Do I Love You (Indeed I Do)’ which years later became perhaps the greatest ever anthem of Northern Soul. Houston-born Frank wrote and produced Tamla classics such as ‘Stoned Love’, ‘Chained’, and ‘Up The Ladder To The Roof’. Genius. He is survived by wife Bunny, and their six children. The SkaNads song ‘Phew (Frank Edward Wilson)’ will feature on the band’s second ep which will be released next year.

Our mate, claret and blue Gonads fan Little Dave Mason is launching a regular Ska & Soul night on Saturday (Oct 6th) at the Anchor & Hope, 2 Riverside Walk, Charlton, London, SE7 7SS. “A lovely little boozer,” says Fat Col. “And the pub ain’t bad either.” Expect Motown, Ska, Trojan, Stax, 2-Tone and Northern Soul (Wot? No Skrillex?)

High Street clothes chain Primark is to start selling CDs from Universal as a “trial venture”. In a related story, you will shortly be able to buy our back catalogue from the 99p store in Deptford.

Oct 1st. Shit-hot new underground zine StreetSounds is launched this coming Wednesday. The feisty little mag, a successor to such much-missed titles as Pulped and The End, is devoted to punk, Ska, Oi, and bluecollar culture in general. Issue #1 features unseen 2-Tone pictures, John King on Rebellion, Bev Elliott on Punk Rock Bowling, Gal on Argy Bargy’s superb new album, and a great TNT feature; plus New Mod, Casuals, Mik Whitnall, Carrie Griffiths from Buster Shuffle, a St George’s Day film special, Malcolm Dome on the best rock releases, and much more. StreetSounds #1 will be on sale for the first time at the launch party this Wednesday for Gal’s new book on the Mod Revival, called Time For Action. The website is here. We will be selling both the book and the mag from our shop page.

Gal’s latest podcast was recorded this weekend with guests Buddy Ascott from the Chords and Honest John Plain from The Boys. Drink had flowed rather freely beforehand. Featured bands include Choking Susan, Case, Rust, English Sporting Defeat, Discharger, Chris Pope, Limozine, Secret Affair, Patriot, The Addicts, Spit Like This, and Pussycat & The Dirty Johnsons... It’s “pleb music for plebs” and will be up and running at Total Rock sometime today..

Lord Waistrel finally met up with Martin Sporrell (aggressive Gooner), at the Reform Club in London’s Pall Mall last Friday (Mart was forced to wear a “bleedin’ Peckham Rye” by the stewards). The meeting did not go entirely as we anticipated, however. Sporrell, as regular readers will know had repossessed (stolen) a number of Gonads songs written and demoed immediately after the Glorious Bastards album session. These tracks had been rejected by the new line-up on grounds of taste. However his Lordship asked Sporrell to play them to him and FB in a private room over pints of champagne top and Kentucky-fried quail’s eggs, and was so impressed/pissed that he dubbed it “the best album the Gonads have never released – far better than anything we actually have released.” We’ll reserve judgement on that, but, long story short, Waistrel has given Sporrell permission to release the bootleg in conjunction with our preferred record label, on strict condition that he leaves off ‘Say What You Like’ (“a song so open to misinterpretation that it could blow the band out of the water – and that’s The Nosher’s job”). He has also decreed that Sporrell must return the “sacred” original recording of ‘Stroke My Beachcomber, Baby’ (surely the Holy Grail of punk 7inch releases) along with Gal and Clyde’s unreleased cobblers, sorry, masterpiece ‘Mystic Meg’. Says FB: “If Martin complies there is no reason why the ‘bootleg’ can’t be an official Gonads release in early 2013.” The Beast has been stood down, and all legal action called off pending Sporrell’s response.

Gal’s long-awaited secret project was last night unveiled by Fit Bird. It turns out to be a stunning collection of comic songs entitled ‘Just The Filth’ which will be released before Christmas on our own Scrotum label. It will also be available as a digital download via Cadiz. The album has been collated and re-mastered by the intrepid FB. More details when we know them.

Also of extreme interest, Nacho Jase and South Coast Steve have been holding auditions down in Bournemouth to replace Gal as singer – with our permission of course. Several vocalists have now tried out for the prestigious role and Agnostic Front fan, ex-squaddie Mike ‘Skinheid’ Brands has emerged as the clear frontrunner. However Harvey Gardens has intervened at the last minute insisting that the band must also audition Londoners (and also saying that he “wouldn’t trust South Coast to pick his own nose”). Harv says he is “scouring the streets to find some young Artful Dodger style ‘pleb’ who can fit the bill.” He went on to insist that the new line-up “cannot ever be called the Gonads”, adding “the Gonads without Gal would be like Pink Floyd without Syd Barrett!” (What, successful? – Ed).

In the Machiavellian world of Nads politics however nothing is ever straightforward and various members of the entourage are pressing his Lordship to find a “stand-in” for Jase himself. The situation arises from us having to call off a major charity gig in Leicester later this month after Jase told us he “couldn’t” play the show because he’s off with some fuckwit ukulele band that day. This news prompted a shitacular bout of grievance that escalated into a Force 10 arse-storm of rage when Tony Feedback, who’d agreed to step in, had to let us down too - because Tim V-Man reckons his sham Sham line-up “might” have a show the same day... The other band members are said to be “disappointed but relaxed” about Jase’s decision. But Fat Col has gone “more postal than Postman Pat”, attacking Jase for “putting some fuckin’ hobby above the needs of his band” and claiming that “Jason’s loyalty, priorities and ‘Professionalism’ are now seriously in question.” Col also issued a strong warning to Tim saying that should his “sham-Sham joke band” fail to announce a gig on October 20th then he and “the lads from the Old Covered End” will “never forget and never forgive.” This is getting all unnecessary and we want no part of it, other than to say it’s a flipping shame we aren’t playing Leicester and that two exciting new “stand-in” guitarists are auditioning for FB next weekend “just in case” Nacho’s ukulele duties interfere with our activities again. The full band, with Gal, are however on course for a show back in Germany early next year.

One disaster follows another. We’ve just learnt that 200 copies of the SkaNads’ debut e.p. have been half-inched from Fat Col’s deluxe Plumstead lock-up. The vinyl seven inch has been much praised on the Continent, with Diana Schuler saying “the songs are great and it feels like they are bringing the Summer back.” More copies have been ordered. Bad news has hit the Cockney Rejects’ too. Their October tour has been postponed until next March, although Saturday’s 100 Club gig is still on. However the Rejects film East End Babylon will (finally) be in cinemas from 8th Nov. So far they have twenty Odeons and twelve Showcase cinemas confirmed with approx another 15 - 20 indies to follow.

Cock Sparrer will headline the Punk & Disorderly festival in Berlin next Easter. Other bands on the bill include Infa-Riot, Argy Bargy, Foreign Legion and The Exploited. More details when we have them.

A quick mention of two upcoming shows, there’s a Foxy tribute in Ruislip on Oct 27th with the Damned x 3, Moonstompers, Dubcats and the Dirtys. The following weekend, on Nov 3rd Symarip & the Trojans are playing at Club Ska @100 Club.

Our old pal Kiria launched her own tattoo aftercare balm at 2012’s London Tattoo Convention last weekend. Missy LePink’s Tattoo Tonic is a hand-crafted, all-vegan, all-natural aftercare balm. Kiria and her latest band Viva le Pink are making an “intimate” London live debut on October 10th in the suitably spooky surroundings of St. Pancras Church Crypt, as part of an opening night party for ‘Dare To Wear’; a month-long exhibition of eccentric fashions curated by Sue Kreitzman. For more info see Their debut EP ‘London Crawlin’’ will be released on October 29th via Diablo Records. It features guest turns from psycho bods Phil ‘Doyley’ Doyle (Klingonz/Nigel Lewis & The Zorchmen/The Guitar Slingers) and Terry Edwards (The Specials/Tom Waits/Gallon Drunk).

Record news, out now: ‘This Is Not Dead’ – a four-way split ep from Oi! The Boat records featuring Hub City Stompers, Unit 6, the Gestalts, and The Young Idea. Order here.

Also just out, the split single from the Old Firm Casuals and Evil Conduct ‘Oi Rules... OK’ (Oi! The Boat), and the long-awaited East End Badoes ‘Poplar Boys’ ep (Skinflint), which finds the slippery old PM at his most poetic...

*Northern Soul night in London care of the New Untouchables at 229 on October 13th. The main ballroom is hosted by Kent Records and 6TS promoter & DJ, Ady Croasdell. Expect top jocks from the London soul scene past and present including Jo Wallace, Irish Greg, Dawn & Nick Brown, Val Palmer and Alan Handscombe joining Harboro Horace playing top Northern Soul classics. Room two is devoted to boogaloo with authentic Rhythm and Blues, Ska/Reggae and Club Soul on the menu from resident DJ Rob Bailey and special guests from top European R&B club joints including Roberta (Underground Blues-Teramo), Roger Banks, Brian Kelson (Scorcher) and Tim Ott-Jones (R&B@Canal). Finally the BEAT BASEMENT is hosted by the successful Mousetrap all-nighters. Resident DJ Dr Robert (Le Beat Bespoke) and Spider Webb (Horrors) + 2 Pete's (Perfumed Garden- Derby) spin prime 60s Beat, Garage and Psych vinyl. Expect maximum fun, go-go girls, kaleidoscopic visuals and the best live acts: Five Live STRYPES - talented lads from Cavan, Ireland who headlined the Saturday night at this year’s prestigious Euro Ye Ye festival in Spain. Plus garage rock/freakbeat from Coventry band THE SORROWS featuring Don Fardon of ‘Indian Reservation’ and ‘I’m Alive’ fame on lead vocals. It’s all happening at 229 The Venue, 229 Great Portland Street, London W1W 5PN. Adm £12. Doors 10pm-6am (no admin after 2am)

The Gonads Website