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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

Oct 29. It’s Halloween Weekend! So welcome to Franken-Skin’s Haunted House of Fun. Our monstrous mascot is so full of the joys of horror that he is offering another big Gonads Halloween Discount: our two new Nads t-shirts for £15 plus P&P. (Click on the pics to order them). We’re killing ourselves here – which is just how Frankie likes it.

The Gonads         The Gonads

Of course, Halloween is a little different in Charlton Village. At Nads HQ, if we get a knock at the door it’s unusual to find small snooty brats in fancy dress, and much more likely to see some geezer out of his head on glue with a stanley knife in his hand. Anyhoo, here are a couple of Frankie’s patented Halloween Punk Facts. Punk Fact 1: Silence Of The Lambs star Brooke “Put the fuckin’ lotion in the basket” Smith was once a photographer on New York’s nascent hardcore punk scene. Brooke snapped everyone from the Bad Brains to Reagan Youth and worked as the coat check girl at punk club The Ritz. Halloween Punk Fact 2: Horror film director and White Zombie rocker Rob Zombie slipped punk references into his remakes of Halloween and Halloween II. In the first, you can clearly hear the Misfits playing in the bedroom; in the latter you can hear the Bad Brains, Scream, and Void’s song ‘Time To Die’. Star Scout Taylor-Compton, who plays Laurie Strode, can also be seen sporting a Black Flag t-shirt for much of the film.

Frankie’s Top Halloween Terror Picks: ‘Franken-Skin’ – The Gonads (obviously), ‘Attack Of The Zombie Skinheads’ (ditto), ‘Halloween Hootenanny’ – Various, ‘Legacy Of Brutality’ – The Misfits, ‘Dead Moon’s Calling’ – Mad Sin, ‘Manmade Monsters’ – Plan 9, ‘Nightmare Revisited’ – Various, ‘Pandelirium’ - Th' Legendary Shack*Shakers, ‘Horror Hits For Halloween’ – These Ghoulish Things.

Tonight’s big Jolly Pranksters’ Halloween Party is on (usual East Sussex farm venue) but sadly no report will follow as the Pranksters have banned all coverage due to what they describe as “unusually high and unsavoury levels of media interest in our loyal brotherhood.”


IN proper news, our limited edition split single with Infa-Riot is finally out, but you’ll have to buy the Randalierer fanzine to get a copy. And our Balls Brothers Christmas gig has been postponed until next January or February (very festive – Ed), because someone’s Nan is on holiday and Spizz is washing his hair or some such cobblers. Punk rock! We’ve forgotten more than these bastards know about it. Tune back mid-week for Punk Rock book club.

*REMINDER for our NYC readers: the mighty Maninblack will be at the Double Down Saloon, on Monday for a Halloween extravaganza... New band member Michael "Geddy" Brown will be making his debut on bass guitar, bass pedal synthesizer and backing vox, and the lads will be breaking out some new material along with André's atmospheric theremin skills on select songs. They’ll also be giving away free copies of the mini CD single ‘"Fighting In The Streets b/w The NYC." Kick-off 8pm, Maninblack should be on around 10.

A message to you Rudy, and a poxy one: we hear solid talk that the current Specials tour will be their last for the foreseeable future.

Oct 28. Gal recorded his latest podcast today with three quarters of the legendary Case in Malcolm Dome’s lock-up (newly in – Xmas trees!) in beautiful downtown Shoreditch (turn left after the mosque, then right by the babbling hippie, step over the junkie, proceed with caution...). The show features quality tunes from the Dub City Rockers, Cyanide Pills, Yellow Stitches, The Upsessions, Wild Billy Childish, The Uppercuts, The Black Marias, Rebel Territory, Liberty Hayes, Marching Orders, Shakey’s Brother, Booze & Glory and “original folk punk” Gus Elen. Studio guests Case are celebrating a reunion after 28 long years of “holding back until the time is right” ((c) Dave Long) and play London’s 100 Club on November 5th with the Infas. You can hear it all here: The show was slightly sabotaged by the absence of Matthew (allegedly throwing up in a bucket in Croydon), a defective CD player and “some bald tosser singing acoustic shite” (a technician writes) in another studio. We’re told the whole enterprise was threatening to “collapse like the Eurozone” but incredibly you can’t tell any of that from the recording. It also features the first ever playing of the blinding new anthem ‘Poplar Boys’ by the original East End Badoes line-up. Apparently this has caused some controversy with the current Badoes, however, vocalist and founder member Terence Hayes, PM, explains: “The original line-up were asked by various record companies to record this ep as a one-off celebration of our 30th anniversary; we will not be playing gigs or recording any more songs. This is not an alternative to the current Badoes line-up in any way.” And of course anyone who still has concerns is welcome to have a quiet word about it with Skully.

Just in: The Charlton Boys ep!!!! Check out the shop page for details soon. Well we’re ’kin’ busy.

Oct 28. Could Folk-Punk be the next big thing? (No – Ed). As well as the aforementioned enthusiasts (Jenny Woo, Louise Distras, Jeniera Blade and Liberty Hayes) Jennie from Rebellion is fronting acoustic punk band The Crows who on top of banging out original material cover oi standards like Sparrer’s ‘Because You’re Young’. We’ve also been contacted by a gang of young folk-punk enthusiasts who call themselves ‘Hard Folkers’. The folkers claim to stand for “all the original punk ideals” such as “free-thinking”, “working class spirit” and “rebel ideals”. They sound like more than a match for the self-styled Anti-Acoustic League. But we’re not trying to stir up any war on the terrace or malice on the melodeons here. We’re merely open-minded observers of the fledgling folk-punk thang. Enthusiasts say it has more guts and punch than the likes of Kate Rusby and Kathryn Tickell (we know her sister Tessa well); the proof of course will be in the recordings.

PS. Another missive arrives from the aggressive herberts of the Anti-Acoustic League. It states: ‘Oi! Bushell - No!! The worm has turned! From the man who promoted Total Noise to champion of gushing plastic Hippies with guitars... You're finally showing your age! Either that, or the rumour circulating that you're too tight to pay for electric must be true! So are you making The Gonads perform Unplugged to save some cash? (Unpubbed might be a better/cheaper option!). No surprise to see all the old gits jumping on the bandwagon and taking the chance to hang out with women half their age. Mind you, if we weren't all so dashingly handsome and dapper (not that cunt from N-Dubz) then maybe we'd be joining you ugly unpluggers in harassing young nubile string fiddlers. For those that continue to ruin the Electric energy that ruled the roost and want to get old, dour and mellow before their time, we have one thing to say: Folk off!! - Hairy J Blige, Anti-Acoustic League, Cornish Chapter. This thing could run and run (with a hey nonny nonny, oh hey nonny nonny, hey nonny nonny no.)

As for the Carry On Gal film (or All Hands On Dick) we’ve been inundated with suggestions about other oi-oi personalities who should be in the movie. Like Stinky Turner as a Jim Dale type lovable rogue, Bev Elliott as Liz Fraser, Chelsea Dom as a sort of Peter Butterworth character, Max Splodge as Harry H Corbett and the rest of the Gonads as drunken stowaways. Lord Waistrel would of course be the first Earl Of Bristols. The Beast could be ‘Sidney Bung’, FB could be Jack Douglas ("phwaay!"), while Fenella Fielding could easily be played by vivacious Vix from Fuzzbox (“phwoar!”). But how about Kenneth Williams, you ask? “It’s got to be Pete Way!” emails one well-known musician who prefers to remain anonymous. Now all we need is a cabin girl to, ahem, work her passage, and an angel/investor to underwrite it. Let’s not forget that Cockney comedy legend Mick Pugh wrote the script for Curry On Up The Gonads several years ago and so far not one of you ungrateful bastards has rustled up the £500K necessary to make it happen.

Gig noos: The Beat play the Clapham Grand on 2nd December... Secret Affair headline 229 on Sat Nov 26th... From The Jam are Under The Bridge on 17th Dec (insert your own Under A Bus insults here)... The Selecter bounce into 229 on March 17th... See you back here for Halloween, douche bags!

Oct 27. Our mention of Louise Distras has provoked a rather small-minded backlash. Some clowns calling themselves the Anti-Acoustic League sent us a furious message saying: ‘Oi! Bushell, Louise who? Oh, and she just happens to be blonde and fit as a butchers dog! Well, we've had enough - even GBH and The Exploited joined in and played an acoustic 'Fuck The USA' in an Edinburgh pub last week, for fuck sake! When will this boil on the face of Punk Rock be banished to where it belongs? A folk bar!!’ They go on: ‘We're coming for you and anyone else who promotes this girly shite. And will feed you blue smarties until your eyes pop! You have been warned!! The End is nigh!’ (They actually wrote ‘neigh’ but unless they’re coming by horse, we think they mean nigh.) They’ve also missed the boat – as folk punk is starting to explode. As well as Canada’s Jenny Woo, we understand that Jeniera Blade is planning on recording an ep mixing original songs with acoustic covers of classics by Sparrer and The Men They Couldn’t Hang in the New Year, and Liberty Hayes has long been performing or recording folkier songs, with both us and the Dropkick Murphys. Louise’s co-song-writer Steve Whale tells us: “That's just the sort of reaction we want. The old people don't like it!” By Patrick and Fitzgerald! Those who oppose the folk punk can join the Anti Acoustic League here.

Cock Sparrer, Infa-Riot, Menace and Control will play Rebellion at the Melkweg, Amsterdam on June 16th 2012. Tickets are £35 and available from the venue.

The news that Gal is performing in a professional capacity on a cruise next month has provoked the East End Badoes to claim, amusingly, that the ship is the Titanic (or the Lusitania or the Bismarck.) While a tickled John King, of Football Factory fame, is now referring to “Captain Gal Bushwhacked of the Good Ship Gonad”, and has suggested filming a “mini-farce” called Carry On Gal or All Hands On Dick (Carry On A Broad has clearly already been taken by Sharron Stiletto.) He casts it thus: Captain Sid James, played by John King; The Captain’s Wench, Barbara Windsor (Beki Bondage), Midshipman Kenneth Williams (Mark Wyeth), Manic Boilerman Kenneth Connor (Manic Esso), entertainer, drunkard and tapdancer Charles Hawtrey (Gal), Bosun Bernard Bresslaw (Steve Whale), Fatima/Hattie Jacques (The Yeti), Sir Roger de Lodgerly/Leslie Phillips (Terence Hayes, PM), Cora Flange/Amanda Barrie (Wattsie Watts) and Ship's Cook/Joan Sims (Batttttty). Typical dialogue; Cora: “What are you looking at?” Captain: “Sharks! Man-eating sharks! The sea is full of them; mind you don’t fall in.” Cora: “Do you think they’d eat me whole?” Captain: “No, I’m told they spit that out.”

Rancid are confirmed as the Sunday night headline band for Rebellion 2012. The Slackers, Booze & Glory and Splodge are also on the bill. Early bird tickets are currently £95, but the price rises to £115 next Monday (1st November.)

Crashed Out play a Punks Against Prejudice all-dayer on November 12 in Leeds (The Fenton), with China Shop Bull, The Duel, Old-school Politics, The Fuckwits and more.

An email arrives from someone claiming to represent the laughable German oirezene site. It states: ‘The only way for bands to rise above suspicion is to publically support the legacy of Joseph Stalin.’ It concludes: ‘To safeguard dissent, democracy, freedom of speech and association, we must first abolish them.’ How odd. Satire do you think?

Oct 25. Check out our hair-raising Halloween sale: THREE great Gonads CDs for the price of TWO. That’s right, this is no trick, chaps, it’s a treat and a half because for one week only you can get ‘Glorious Bastards’, ‘Live Free Die Free’ and ‘Plums’ for the genuinely spooky price of £20 plus p&p – direct from HERE. Offer ends October 31st. We’re scaring ourselves here people!

Oct 24. The Bouncing Souls are back in the studio in January to record what they describe modestly as the “greatest collection of songs ever written.” It’ll be out late next Spring.

And here’s some more good news: the dyna-might-tee-hee Dub City Rockers debut album will finally be released by Moon Ska World next week after a delay that makes the Contra boys look like Speedy Gonzales. Called ‘Peace Love Faith Hope Respect Co-Exist’, the 32-track delight features highlights such as modern classic ‘Trojan City Love’, ‘Rude Boy Hooligan’ (with The Upsessions) and ‘We Do The Ska’ (with Chris Murray). More details HERE.

Dub City Rockers
Louise Distras

Move over Jenny Woo, England’s got acoustic punk too! Here’s Louise Distras, Wakefield’s own cake-baking, chain-smoking spiky six-string siren. Louise is writing songs with Steve Whale even as we speak.

We’ve given Contra some stick about the long delay over the 30 Years of Oi compilation (now coming up to 32 years and counting), but it hasn’t been easy for them. Contra boss Hechti tells us “I’m 36 and this album has turned my hair grey.” If he doesn’t sort it soon, there’s a good chance the poor sod will look like Frankie Flame by the time he’s 37.

Nads Ad: For sale, one deluxe hearing aid. If you’re interested, give us a shout...

Ronnie Rouman himself descended on a quiet Kent hostelry today for a seven-strong, high-level Oi Organising Committee meeting. Many projects were discussed, including, it’s believed, a brand new limited edition Prole ep... if Steve Kent can be lured out of retirement... John King was at the People’s Pledge lobby of Parliament earlier, on behalf of the OOC. He also attended the Conference on Saturday.

John reports: “The Conference was excellent, 2,000 people turned out and there was a really good range of speakers. The vote was always going to be lost in the Commons, but this is just the beginning.” The battle for British independence continues.

Oct 23. Talk about the Greatest Cockney Christmas! We’ve only gorn and added a second London gig – December 10th at Balls Brother, Lime Street Exchange - 52 Lime Street, EC3M 7BS – us, with Spizz and The Roystons and a top DJ. All for six sovs on the door. Have it!

Oct 22. Oi, Rudies, here’s a message and a half for you. The next stage of 2-Tone Central’s expansion will be the 2-Tone Village – a courtyard in beautiful downtown Coventry devoted to Ska-related shops.

2-Tone Village

The 2-Tone Corner Shop and Corner Cafe (“the home of tea-tone and Skappuccino”) are already up-and-running, to be followed soon by Simmer Down, an Anglo-Caribbean restaurant, and then a 2-Tone Museum (based on the original one at Coventry Uni) will take (strictly) root.

2-Tone Cafe

And on November 4th Lynval Golding and Neol Davies will launch The Coventry Music Wall of Fame there too. 2-Tone Village is located at Unit 7, The Courtyard, r/o 74-80 Walsgrave Road, Ball Hill, Coventry CV2 4ED. More details here – all in black and white. Maybe Camden’s Oi! The Shop should consider expanding to open an oi-oi pie & mash gaff, Stinky’s high altitude boxing gym, Hoxton Tom’s Bespoke Tailor’s, The Yeti’s Lap-Dancing Emporium and a pit-bull pet shop (the last two are easily confused.)

The Gonads

Random news: Wolfsbane are back! Their ten-date comeback UK tour kicks off in Sheffield on Nov 24. Says guitarist Jason Edwards: “We are back, we are bolder (older/balder)!! The world needs saving!! Clearly!! And with our usual modest self effacing attitude we have returned pheonix-like to do it! The record is full of the kind of 'don't give a fuckery' that the world is missing and needs when the going gets tough! So pull ya self a pint of 'couldn't give a shit' and lets ROCK!! Come see us on the tour! I'll be at the bar, mine's a pint of Newcy Brown!” New album, Wolfsbane Save The World is out soon.

The Cockney Rejects are launching their new ‘Rejects Army’ newsletter in November, called The Power and The Glory. It’ll come out quarterly on-line.

We were intrigued to read that the new Anti-Nowhere League double vinyl comes with ‘bouns songs’ (see ad below). Which Boon though? Are we talking Pat Boone covers perhaps? Or maybe a punk version of the theme tune from TV’s Boon, which from memory was ‘Hi Ho Silver Lining’...or is it just that Animal can’t spell bonus and is too ’kin’ tight to hire a proof-reader?

Randale Records

Oct 21. With the skilled of a trained diplomat, the PM has jumped clear of the scandal that was threatening to engulf his long and illustrious Prankster career. In a manoeuvre that is being described by delighted senior lodge officials as “The Footscray Agreement” El Tel is said to have descended late last night on the homes of his accusers and enticed them along to the Kebab Ye take-away in Maidstone Road. Here he is believed to have bought them off with a mixed kebab (chicken and shish) and a kofte kebab washed down with two cans of luke-warm Stella that he fished out of his boot. The exercise, which appears to have cost under £15, seems to have settled the matter for now, with all directly involved parties happy. However we understand a breakaway group of young hotheads led by Southend Dickie have condemned the move as “a sell-out” and are threatening to bring what they call “this wretched compromise” up at the next AGM. Says our source, Slippery Ted: “For now the PM sleeps soundly, but this may not be the end of the matter. I’m reminded of an incident from 1965 referred to as the great “turmoil at Tubby Isaacs” in Aldgate when... ” (sorry, dropped off.)

Bonnet de douche! Brace yourself France. The magnificent Runnin'Riot, the “incredibly handsome” (Are you sure? Ed) Black Marias and Antwerp streetpunk herberts Midnight Tattoo will rock the Igelrock in Valenciennes on the 10th December! Bon appétit!

Oct 20. Hurrah! Our Charlton Boys ep is out today! Five tracks of belligerent mayhem featuring ‘Backstreet Army’, ‘Warriors’, ‘Indestructible Wolves’, ‘Charlton Boys’ and ‘Valley Floyd Road’ – all on vinyl from Randale Records (catalogue number Ran092).

A limited collectors’ edition of just 500 have been pressed. The only downside is all 500 of them are currently in Diana’s lock-up in the Black Forest, somewhere between the Upsessions and the gateaux, under a pile of Frankie Flame style flat caps.

You can buy them direct from Randale, or you can wait till next week when Postman Pat drops them off at Nads HQ. Download link to follow.

Charlton Boys

Meanwhile, to celebrate, here are the Desert Oi-Land choices of lifelong Gonads fan and stag weekend enthusiast Charlton Tel: Whine & Grine – Prince Buster, You Send Me – Jackie Opel, Return of Django – The Upsetters, Frankenstein Ska – Byron Lee & The Dragonaires, Fat Fat Girl – Lloydie & The Lowbites, Will I What? – Judge Dread, Taller Than You – Lord Tanamo, Money In My Pocket – Dennis Brown, Oi Mate – The Gonads. Tel’s film is The Searchers. His DVD is the complete Sons Of Anarchy box-set. His book is The Face (“and Two-Faced”) by Garry Bushell.

More details emerge about ‘Punch Punch Your Fucking Head.’ This lost Gonads classic was composed in the late 1980s by Gal and JJ Bedsore of The Blood in the Bugle Horn in Charlton Village, but they never got round to recording it (usual story: outsider comes in at 30-1 as part of a treble, 48hour bender ensues...). A demo tape of the song was made, but it can’t be found, so Nacho will be reinterpreting it according to Gal’s memory, which is roughly as reliable as a politician’s promise... as a Blackberry phone... as a punctured condom (continued Similes-R-Us)

The PM has issued a late apology for “any confusion” arising from the shocking ‘Chinese-Gate’ scandal revealed here yesterday. He tells us he is proposing “an honourable settlement so that I can put this sorry business behind me and move on with my life.” But says a Prankster spokesman “Tel has offered to buy said meal at a time when he knows the wronged party is out of the country, which could clearly be seen as a calculated insult – especially when combined with a later text asking if there were ‘any local Chinkies with a £4.99 lunch-time all-you-can-eat buffet and no licence’.” The spokesman goes on: “It is good that the PM has opened a channel of communication with his accusers/victims, but he seems to be evading the central issue. If he thinks he can bury his head in the sand like an ostrich and wait for the storm to pass then he is sadly mistaken. The Pranksters can’t be seen to be involved in a controversy of this order, especially on the eve of a momentous international gathering” (believed to be a reference to the World Championship Punk Rock Tiddlywink Challenge to be held in a scout hut in East Sussex at the end of the month). An insider cautions: “Unless the PM turns up sharpish with a couple of portions of Peking duck, extra-hot noodles and some hot and spicy prawn balls, he could well be asked to hand over his tiddlies.”

To the Cretin Nebula, where Fat Col has given us the absolute, solid-gold quote of the week. “You give me a lot of stick,” he moans. “But if I discovered a cure for cancer the world would love me.” This is true. Go on then, discover it, you lazy fat fuck...

Oct 19. Just days after we killed it as dead as a dodo, Desert Oi-Land Discs returns with the first of an occasional series of specials. Today, in the island hot seat, is punk guitar legend Dave Parsons of Sham 69.

Dave’s eight songs are:

Better Must Come – Delroy Wilson (“Just love the intro drum fill, it drops you straight into this magnificent song with a groove to kill for, the ultimate song to offer up hope”), Street-Fighting Man – Rolling Stones (“One of my favourite bands, and one of their best tracks”), Engine No.9– Wilson Pickett (“No matter how good a song is, if it’s not in the groove it’s useless! This a great example of a song that’s glued to the rails”), My Generation - The Who (“The first time I realised the rebellious power of music! This was surely one of the first punk songs before Punk happened. My Uncle played guitar with Pete’s Dad Cliff and my Mum went out with Cliff for a while...”), Tired Of Waiting - The Kinks (“Probably not the obvious choice from the Kinks, but it was the first track of theirs I ever heard , and the first song that made me aware of songwriters rather than just the band”), Summertime Blues – Eddy Cochran (“When I was learning to play the guitar, hearing this song was the first time I realised there was a different way to attack the guitar”), Tears Of A Clown – Smokey Robinson(“There has to be some Motown in here somewhere, and you can’t go wrong withthis piece of genius;
Dave Parsons
just perfect pop music”), Wonderful World Beautiful People – Jimmy Cliff (“Simply one of the most uplifting songs ever recorded”).

Dave’s film is American Graffiti (“or Performance”). TV box-set (“Either Fawlty Towers or Only Fools & Horses because I’ll need something to keep me laughing; make it the Trotters, because they’ll keep me going longer”). Book: “As I’m on this desert Island, I’m gonna need a book that I can read more than a few times, and one that has a multitude of different stories, one that’s controversial and gripping, full of life, death, hope and despair – though I’m not what you would call a religious man, for the Island it would have to be the Bible!” Sham 69, with James Pursey at the helm, play the Brixton Electric on 29th October. Dave’s solo album has just been released on CD by Nicotine Records... for more info see

Gal’s new 2-Tone book – basically Dance Craze done properly – is coming out for Christmas. The publisher wants pictures of YOU with any of the bands, preferably back in the day, but they’re interested in seeing any – and any band shots or 1979/80 rude boy/rude girl pix too. The bands covered are The Specials, Selecter, Madness, Bad Manners, The Bodysnatchers, The Beat, and the late but legendary Judge Dread. If your picture is used, you’ll get a free copy of the book! Send pix to

Is the East End Badoes bandwagon about to be de-railed? On the eve of their triumphant come-back, shock charges levelled at singer Terry Hayes threaten to engulf the veteran Oi band in scandal. In legal papers seen by this website, the PM has been accused of the most heinous crime associated with our order: round-dodging. Hard to believe maybe, but signed witness statements support allegations that 1) the PM, Terence Thackeray Makepeace Hayes, did most solemnly promise certain renowned experts that he’d fork out for “a slap-up Chinese meal” as payment for assistance with the selling off a bass guitar formerly owned by Dee Dee Ramone at a West End auction house; and that 2) a further gut-busting five course dinner was offered “as full payment” for help with an undisclosed musical project. As yet these promises have not been honoured. An ashen-faced spokesman for the Pranksters (Effete El) tells us “We cannot jump to any conclusions, there could be other factors such as memory loss and degenerative brain disorder to consider, but on the face of it, the accusations could potentially see the PM driven from public life in shame.” A close friend of the PM would only comment “Eh? Do what?” Lord Waistrel has launched an immediate inquiry.

Surprisingly Waistrel is the latest establishment figure to weigh in with his support for the Occupy London protestors. Although a capitalist and merchant banker of long-standing and considerable ill-repute, his Lordship has told his followers and servants: “We must listen to these angry young people, take note of the valid points they make, and then work out how to make serious money out of the scruffy little bastards.” To this end he has set up his own PAYE scheme (Pay As You Erupt), which will supply protestors with placards, graffiti and “if need be” petrol bombs as required. Waistrel notes “All-day chanting and knocking off the hats of policemen is thirsty work. I shall therefore establish a string of protestor-friendly street vendors to service the revolting masses. Let them eat cake, as long as it is cake baked at Waistrel Manor and sold at a nifty 500% mark-up. Pip, pip! Top hole!”

The Beast descended on Sidcup last night in a burst of flames to reveal that he has secured a deal for the new Splodge album... more news will no doubt follow

Meanwhile FB calls to report that Gal is going through “an incredibly productive time” with his solo song-writing. New ditties such as ‘The Narrow Marrow’, ‘Tufty’s Nuts’, ‘Career Opportunity’, and ‘Tonight’ are said to be “touched with gorblimey greatness.” Says FB, “it’s like Judge Dread impregnated the Bodysnatchers and Ian Dury was on hand to deliver the babies...” Which frankly is not the kind of image we’d like to think about too closely.

Meanwhile, in Actual Gonads News, an old eighties punk classic written by Gal called ‘Punch Punch (Your Fucking Head)’ may feature onGreater Hits Volume Two, with some Nacho Jase spin.

Oct 18. The 30th anniversary Oi! album was scheduled to be mastered yesterday. Progress indeed. So is the project finally on course for an imminent release? What do you think? At 2.18pm Contra Records frantically emailed to say “There is a big problem - we’ve got the wrong Sab Grey song. It should be ‘Skinhead Girl’, but it isn’t it.” They said that they needed the correct track “within the next two hours” or else they would either have to drop Sab or put the sampler back again “until the end of the year.” So what happened? We can’t be sure. We did our bit, as we always do, and our fingers remain crossed. It’s worth recalling however that Contra had received all of the tracks for this compilation by February 2010, some twenty months ago, and have had some of them now for close on TWO YEARS. Would it be uncharitable to suggest that they’d left it a bit fucking late to be checking through them yesterday? (PS. Sab tells us: “No-one ever asked me for ‘Skinhead Girl’ before now...” Typical. But hey, Sab, if you’ve got a spare one, we’ll have her)

Happier news 1: Oi-Oi leg-end and TV personality Terence Hayes, PM, tells us that the new East End Badoes’ four track ep, titled ‘Hard Hits For Herberts’ will “definitely be out before Christmas” on “some Swedish label”. Don’t you love the attention to detail? The songs have been recorded by the original Badoes line-up including Stan Kutter (yeah, the Professor) and Skully who apparently perfected his bass-playing skills while giving Her Majesty fifteen years worth of pleasure, and sharing a cell, for some of that time, with “a super-pro funk bass-player on a trumped-up murder charge.” The songs will, we’re told, include the controversial ‘Yesterday’s Zeroes’ which targets those “like Jimmy Pursey” who “turned their back on us and let down the scene”; as well as our own favourite ‘Poplar Boys’. The ep cover will feature the boys on the docks, then and now.

Happier News 2: punk rock guitar hero Nacho Jase tells us that his new version of the Nads’ own ‘These Are Our Streets’ is “kin awesome” – beyond oi, beyond hardcore, and “beyond the threshold of pain itself”...Nice.

News, views and random brain-droppings: The Cockney Rejects are playing two acoustic “unplugged” gigs at East London’s bijou BH2 venue in December... in the spirit of solidarity, we’re going to try and make our 12 Bar gig on December 2nd, “un-drugged”, but don’t hold us to it; sulphate still takes some licking, as does the Nosher... the mighty Iron Cross are releasing a brand new ep on their own Skinflint label, this looks likely to include an awesome new version of ‘Crucified’, plus ‘Die, Yuppie Scum’, ‘Drunken Bull’, ‘Strike First’, and ‘Wasted In DC’. It’ll be out on vinyl and download... The first track from Tim Armstrong’s Timebomb RockNRoll Theatre is up on line. Episode one of the ‘noir’ webcast musical theatre series features our old mate Lars Frederiksen among others, and there’s a free download of Lars singing ‘We Did All Right’ (so obviously not about Millwall then) which is “available to stream via Topspin”. Some of you may even understand what the feck that means.

Cryptic Question of the Week: where does ‘grass’ grow in test-tubes?

Fat Col calls to suggests a new compilation (Not a chance – Weary Ed) called ‘Fuck Politics, We’re Oi!’ – a timely middle finger message, he says, telling extremist zealots of all persuasions to stay out of what’s left of our hair. But when we point out that Col couldn’t be involved himself because a) he’s the chairman of the Revolutionary Conservative Skins & Punks Association – i.e. a totally political organisation, and b) he’s still supposed to be busy organising the Pathetique 2012 sampler and festival, the fat fool stomps off in a strop, muttering that “Oi! for UKIP would be a better project anyway.” (UKOip? Sounds fishy.) Maybe Bradders from Monkish should take over the Pathetique Renewal 2012 campaign, at least he knows what he’s doing.

Oct 17. Thanks to Charlton Boy Chris Weeks for finding this genuine road sign in Chislehurst, Kent – no doubt engineered by the powerful and Machiavellian Bromley branch of the Jolly Pranksters. Sandy Lane says “Roll on Gal Mall.” We’ll only be happy when we get Gonads Grove in London, SE7.

[Webmistress Batttttty adds... "There's even a Bushell Close in Lambeth. Yeh! And who wouldn't want a Bushell close while they're doing the Lambeth Walk... Further to that, if you type 'Bushell' into Google Maps there are loads in Australia. Almost as if Bushell's ancestors went out there on a prison ship..." ]

Bushell Way

Preston Pranksters have drawn our attention to this magnificent establishment. According to legend, the barmaids are topless, the beer is half-price, pork scratchings are on the house, and the juke-box will play only punk, Ska, Oi and the hardest of hard rock. The only thing wrong with this drinking class nirvana is... it's in effing Preston!

The Bushell Arms

Oct 16. Oh, Jesus Christ, done some brain cells last night... these pictures are from last night’s official launch party for our blistering ‘Charlton Boys’ ep (due out this Thursday, 20th October, although we ain’t seen a copy yet). Any new Gonads release is worthy of celebration, of course; unfortunately the treacherous toe-rag of a photographer is believed to be offering these sordid snaps to the Daily Mail for another of their shock-horror ‘Broken Britain’ exposes... although frankly they look like a normal night out in Charlton Village to us.All together: “And when the Swan chucks out, hope the filth ain’t about...”

Charlton Boys Launch Party

Oct 15. Hello Manhattan! Advanced warning: Maninblack is back at the Double Down Saloon in the East Village (14 Ave. A, 10009, near Houston) for a special Halloween night performance! Guests include former Maninblack keyboardist Renzo "Tuco" Ortega's Electro Punk project R-tronika along with Agent Jay of The Slackers at the turntables spinning Punk and Reggae before, in between and after. There'll be tricks! There'll be treats! Free admission, cheap drinks, Halloween night in the NYC at the infamous DDS! Maninblack will get you... if you don't watch out!


Punk Rock Book Club: Out now, an updated version of Bri Hurley’s Making A Scene: New York Hardcore In Photos, Lyrics & Commentary REVISITED 1985-1988. Originally published 22 years ago, this expanded edition packs in more than two hundred photos along with memories from key participants about the exciting (and notorious) Big Apple HC scene. Published by Butter Goose.

Record news: just out, Latterman’s vinyl album, ‘No Matter Where We Go..!’ (No Idea) – “proper, catchy, heartfelt punk rock”, says Sandy Lane. And she should know.

Oct 14. Gal was invited to attend a charity gala earlier this week organised by the Bromley Pranksters in association with the elite Black Lodge of the now underground LHG. Fat Col, who was MC on the night, tells us: “Unlike most Prankster dos, this event was quite respectable and most of the guests were older than Charlie Harper. There were ex-army types, union officials, clergymen and the like. One of the speakers thanked the top table guests for coming and then proceeded to mention Gal’s “genitally fixated” involvement with the Gonads and the Orgasm Guerrillas. Eyebrows were raised. Buttocks were twitched. Grins were frozen. But then the speaker went on to mention Gal’s campaign for St George’s Day and the mood changed. The 400 strong crowd erupted in cheers. He then mentioned GB’s hostility to the EU and they nearly took the roof off. Gal was hoist aloft and carried into the streets, where he was begged to reconsider his decision not to run for London Mayor next year. It fair brought a tear to the eye, until that unfortunate business with the barmaid...” About which, nuff said.

Here’s a ticket link for the Leeds all-dayer with Red Alert and Splodge in January.

Oct 13. Steve Bruce calls. It seems Cock Sparrer have had to postpone their November gigs in New York and Philly after Micky Beaufoy contracted DVT during their South American trip last month. Let’s hope it clears up with penicillin. DVT is of course, Deep Vein Thrombosis and not Dodgy Venereal Throbbing as we’d feared. Steve tells us Mick’s condition is “serious but he is getting over it.” When we ask if it’s curable, the cheeky drummer replies: “There is no known cure for Micky Beaufoy.” All heart, that boy.

Well, she’s been a long time coming but here at last are Barbara Windsor’s Desert Island choices. The Cockney comedy legend would take these eight discs to her solitary, sun-kissed paradise: The Best Is Yet To Come – Frank Sinatra & Count Basie, Für Elise – Ludwig Van Beethoven, Sparrows Can’t Sing – Barbara Windsor, Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley, Drive – The Cars, The Secret Life of Tony Hancock – Galton & Simpson, Every Time You Go Away – Paul Young, Pomp & Circumstance March No. 1 in D major 'Land of Hope and Glory' – Sir Edward Elgar. Barbara’s film would be her own Sparrows Can’t Sing. TV show: EastEnders. Book: The Face by Garry Bushell (Who he? – Ed).

Desert Oi-Land will now be suspended as a regular feature, by order of the committee. 

Babs Windsor

Random oi-oi news: the East End Badoes will release the all-new, four-track ‘Poplar Boys’ ep on America’s Brass City Boss Tones label in the near future...the new album from Yellow Stitches, out in January can officially be described as “phenomenal”...

Controversy Corner 1: Harvey Gardens has hit out angrily at “the rumours and mischief” being spread about Gal’s solo Ska ep, mostly, it must be said, on this very site! One time convicted fraudster Harvey dismisses claims that the ep will be ‘jazz-Ska’, insisting that it will be “Oi-Tone, with brass” (we presume he means trumpets, not paid-for crumpet) and “beard doodling”. The track list, leaked by a tipsy Fit Bird, has been denied emphatically, too. And Harvey is also refusing to divulge which musicians will be involved in the project. We’re told that Gal asked his old pal Charley Anderson from the Selecter to play bass on the ep. Apparently Chas was up for it, but then mentioned the inconvenient detail that he currently lives in Bogota, Columbia. D’oh! So what is Oi-Tone exactly? Harvey reckons it’s “like Prince Buster arm-wrestling Stevie Marriott, while Bob Hoskins jams with the Skatalites by Gus Ellen’s graveside know what I mean.” Not entirely, no.

WANTED for Gonads spin-off project: a “Paul Di’Anno type” rock singer with a punk attitude. If that’s you, email The Beast promises that time-wasters will be “cut like butter.”


Oct 12. Good old FB has tracked down the FrankenSkin for today’s Desert Oi-Land stint. Our fearless road manager risked life and limb by interrupting Frankie in the middle of his weekly ‘Strumpet Control & Restraint’ session at his isolated dungeon retreat.

The great lumbering critter (FB) then left, leaving FrankenSkin to tell us his song choices: Two Minutes to Midnight - Iron Maiden, Night Of The Living Dead – The Misfits, FrankenSkin – The Gonads, Charlotte the Harlot - Iron Maiden, Napalm Death - Napalm Death, Forlorn - Hanging Doll, Son Of FrankenSkin – The Gonads, The Monster Mash - Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt-Kicker Five. Franken-Skin’s TV box-set is The Addams Family. His film: Young Frankenstein. Book: The Ford Cortina Mk IV including Mk V Haynes Manual. Next on Desert Oi-Land? We dread to think...

The Angelic Upstarts release a split album with Crashed Out next month. All profits will go to UKIP...we lie of course. It seems unlikely that Fat Col will be able to interest Mensi in his proposed ‘Fuck Politics We’re Oi!’ concert. But we’d be up for it.

RIP. Leonard Dillon, founder of the pioneering JA Ska and rocksteady combo The Ethiopians of Train To Skaville fame. Singer Leonard died of cancer two weeks ago.

Today’s Daily Mail claims that the Yeti is alive and living in Siberia. Tsk. Typical Mail lies and deceit. We all know she lives in Tilbury.

Oct 11. We’re a week away from the release of the ‘Charlton Boys’ ep, so who better to swing into the Desert Oi-Land hammock than veteran Gonads fan Chris ‘Charlton Boy’ Weeks?

Chris Weeks

Former squaddie Chris, second from left in our picture, is taking these eight songs to our paradise island: Little Boy Blue – The Maytones, Come Back & Stay - The Fabulous Five Incorporated, Charlton Boys - The Gonads (& The Charlton Boys), Heart Full of Soul - The Yardbirds, White Man In Hammersmith Palais – The Clash (original version), Paranoid - Black Sabbath, Hymn For The Dudes - Mott The Hoople, The Wild-Eyed Boy From Freecloud - David Bowie.

Chris’s film is Pirates of the Caribbean (Pts 1 to 4), which is cheating quite frankly. His book is Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien; his TV show is The Munsters. Next on the island? Barbara Windsor – honestly! Unless Charlton Tel gets in quick...

’Charlton Boys’ is out on 20th October. The next release from the Gonads’ stable is likely to be Gal’s first solo ep in April, 2012. Much mystery surrounds our leader’s Cockney Ska (or could it be Cockney jazz-Ska?) project, but after we slipped Fit-Bird a few Animée fruit beers last night, she told us the four-track platter is likely to include ‘Corruptus Interruptus’ “an’ a new version of ‘Mungo Jingo’ with that Vikki Thomas bird doing vocals an’ that, and some dub bod called Professor Stanley Kutter producing it, now shu’up cos TOWIE is on and I wanna look at Joey Essex’s pants, I think ’e’s got a sock dahn there.” As yet no record company has committed to releasing this gem (the ep, not Joey’s sock). “It’s out to tender,” sniffs Gal’s personal manager Harvey Gardens.

Cockney Noos: the brilliant Bermondsey Joyriders are supporting Glen Matlock’s King Mob in Bristol and London next month. Gary Lammin is also doing a two-man show in a Hackney warehouse with MC5 legend John Sinclair, stacking pallets. We lie! The dates are: acoustic Hackney warehouse set (location TBA), 5th November; the Joyriders and the Phobics, The Kings Head, Acton (12th), Joyriders and King Mob, The Croft, Bristol (15th) and London, 229 The Venue (17th). King Mob also stars Chris Spedding on guitar...

And sticking to a London theme, the original line-up of the East End Badoes have demoed four new numbers which will be released as an e.p. next year. ‘Poplar Boys’ could well be the best song the Badoes have ever written...

The London Intl Ska Festival Winter Specials kick off next month with two blinding shows at CFC's multi-millon pound venue, Under The Bridge at Stamford Bridge. Saturday 19 Nov - Hotknives (original line-up) plus top man Dave 'Double Barrel' Barker, The Sidewalk Doctors and Buster Shuffle. Friday 2 Dec - The Dualers +special guest Owen Grey, The Delegators, DJ Cello (Coast To Coast) and more tba. Nearest tube Fulham Broadway. Tickets available now (no booking fee) - Doors 7pm. If you live in Brighton, Horsham or Crawley there are coaches running for the Hotknives show. Email if you are interested.

Prankster incoming: the Guy Fawkes spectacular, organised by the East Sussex Lodge, has been moved forward to the last Saturday this month. See Old Eric for details.

There’s something special planned for next April: a United Oi show in North London featuring bands from all over Europe. Word is the organisers are working on “a dream line” featuring the best new Oi bands from Sweden, Holland, France, Denmark, Poland and the UK. More details when we get them. Meanwhile the Oi Against Racism gig is back on in Leeds for January 21 with Red Alert replacing Tim V-Man’s sham-Sham as head-liners. From our point of view, this remains a moral rather than a political stance. Says Gal “We’re with Menace on this one: ‘Political Man and your smilin’ lies/You’re all covered in smut...’!” All together now: ‘How do you do it? Divide and rule! Split 'em up, split 'em up, keep 'em out of sight/End up in the factory instead of in a school/Left right, left right, right right, wrong!’

Oct 9. If Gal’s heart is beating faster today it’s because Pauline Black has been in touch. The ravishing rude girl tells us that her autobiography Black On Black has sold out its first edition but will be getting another print run – a great book well worth a read. Sadly there is no good news on the proposed Ghost Town film about Pauline, Neville Staple and Coventry boxer Errol Christie – the production company has run out of money. But the Selecter’s new ten-track album Made In Britain is out now on Vocaphone Records. The discerning Ms Black even goes so far as to suggest that Gal’s autobiography Bushell On The Rampage is “a rollicking good read.” The unfortunate story of what happened when Mr Gonad took her and the band to Southfork Ranch in Dallas thirty-one years ago will of course feature fully in part two, along with Bette Midler’s thoughts on Pauline’s Playtex bra...

Listen verrry carefully, we weel zay zis only once... the great Gonads French excursion is ON! Mais oui, mais oui. Us + Ska DJ Nigel Harris + local band at L’Ouvre Boite in Beauvais on April 21st ...

Gal’s October Rancid Sounds pod-cast is up now, here.l Terrific tracks from Booze & Glory, the Bermondsey Joyriders, Monkish, Marching Orders and many more.

Random noos: the Business have postponed their West Coast US tour (they mysteriously blame the NHS); their Aussie, Kiwi and Southeast Asian dates will proceed as scheduled...Ozzy says there’s “a very strong possibility” that Sabbath will reform... out on Tuesday from Fat Wreck Chords, the Star Fucking Hipsters’ album ‘From The Dumpster To The Grave’ - a punk/ska/crust ‘supergroup’ by all accounts

Oct 7. Good morning world, it's a brand new day... and there's a brand new occupant on Desert Oi-Land. Today it's the turn of the Mighty Tripod from the Gonads USA who is also known to some as Jay Letendre from The Uprisers.

Tripod's eight songs are Stay Free - The Clash, We Are 138 - The Misfits, Liberation - Lost City Angels, I Just Want To Have Something To Do - The Ramones, Illya Kuryakin - Ike B. and The Crystalites, Every Night I Have The Same Damn Dream - Frank Morey, It's A Hard Life - Lenny And The Piss Poor Boys, and Kiss Me Deadly - Generation X. His book would be The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Film: Reservoir Dogs ("amazing, I could never get tired of watching it"). TV boxset: the complete South Park ("more than TV, it's the Truth about what is wrong with our country.")

Jay Letendre

The original Sham 69 are sorting out a world tour. We hear that Japan and Brazil are pretty much confirmed, with the USA to follow. If Jimmy turns up...

Big news at last from Contra Records who tell us that they "are REALLY at the last stage" of the 30th anniversary Oi! album, 'Oi! Never Surrender'. Our pal Hechti tells us "We have great artwork, great songs and we think we done a good job (aside from the delay which is a shame for us - call us the Guns & Roses of Oi!)". There is however one small set-back. Roger Merit wanted to contribute the Agnostic Front classic 'Gotta Go' but the quality of the track he sent was too poor to use so Contra had to chose between delaying the comp even more or going ahead without it. Says Hechti: "To be honest, we can't wait one minute more. A lot of bands and customers are waiting for the finished product and are asking us all the time, so we have sadly dropped the song from this great band. It's hard, but we have to release the album now..." Now, being...November? We'll wait and see. The AF slot will be replaced by a number from Tacoma's finest, the noxious and nifty NOI!SE...

Are Contra running Total Rock these days? The Rancid Sounds pathetique edition with Monkfish still ain't up! GRRR!

Klub Skank is back! In a joint event with Longshot Sounds at the Wonkey Donkey...which translates as The White Horse, 95 High Street, Rainham, Kent on Saturday week (October 15, from 8pm). The night promises: Top DJs, Boss Sounds and the CK's Downbeat Sound System - all for a jacks! Your DJs for the evening will be Mick Jeffreys, Phil Enthucol, Nigel Harris, Danny Hatcher and the SkaShack boys, Lee and Toast! (We don't think that's the radical economist Nigel Harris who wrote The Return of Cosmopolitan Capital: Globalization, the State & War, but you never know...)

We would like to apologise unreservedly for printing the unkind suggestion that Sharron Stiletto is "a rather masculine inclined oestrogen-based entity". She is of course a rather feminine inclined testosterone-based entity. We deeply regret any offence we might have caused.

Necro Files

Blackmail Corner: which so called Oi band were so worried about skinheads that they spent most of their Rebellion fee on hiring a minder? Unless they cough up plenty of beer - a sledge-load to be precise - we're gonna tell the world! Boys you have been warned.

Oct 6. It's back at last, the PUNK ROCK BOOK CLUB. And recommended this month is Necro Files: Two Decades of Extreme Horror, a compilation of blood-chilling tales from those deviant bastards at Comet Press. Necro Files is a veritable orgy of sickness featuring zombies, werewolves, serial killers, necrophilia, cannibals, psychopaths, snuff and the occult. It includes stories by George R.R. Martin, Joe R. Lansdale, Nancy Kilpatrick, J.F. Gonzalez and many more. Bentley Little's Pop Star In The Ugly Bar is a twisted joy; written in the 90s but suppressed by lawyers, it tells of what becomes of a barely disguised Big Star of that era who liked to flirt with S&M imagery but finds the real thing a touch too much for her... We asked Fat Col to review this book and he couldn't sleep for two nights afterwards. He said it was "the scariest thing I've had to read since that letter from the HM Revenue & Customs." ISBN: 978-1936964529. Comet Press Book page is here.

Infa Riot's Barry D'Amery has been forced to issue a statement about his politics after some questionable claims were published on-line. We reproduce it here: "Due to recent internet accusations, I have found myself in a position where I have to explain my politics. Despite making it clear that I am not interested in politics, I am coming under attack as there is a feeling that you are guilty by association. INFA RIOT are not, never have been, and never will be a Nazi band." Frankly no-one with any sense ever believed they were. The Infas were one of the first Oi bands to play anti-racist gigs back in the day and have never deviated from that stance. The Gonads do not need to issue statements; we have been anti-fascist since day one, and are happy to associate ourselves with Oi! Against Racism, which is a moral rather than a political campaign. However we are aware of a number of outrageous and in some cases libellous claims that have been made on-line (some subsequently retracted) about other bands. The worst offenders in the internet smear stakes are a bunch of gutless clowns in Germany who have recently dubbed the Oppressed, Britain's leading antifa band, "the new Skrewdriver." FFS! No one is entirely sure who the person/people behind 'oirezene' is/are because they choose to remain anonymous. Originally it was thought that the ridiculous mud-slinging site was run by Stalinists, but now we suspect that they may actually be Nazis themselves, on a mission to divide the scene. Either way they are either idiots or liars, or both. As far as we're concerned Nazis can fuck right off, and take their fellow travellers with them; but anti-Nazis need to get their facts right, and tone down the reverse McCarthy stridency, or risk losing all credibility. That is all. Let no more tedious politics blight this blog. It ain't the 1970s and it's mighty long way from the 1930s. STOP PRESS the Leeds OAR gig has been postponed due to legal complications involving another band. Promoter Stevie Caldwell promises that it will be rescheduled soon.

Oct 5. Today on Desert Oi-Land, no lesser satanic entity than Dale Beeson – yeah, the Beast! The Gonads’ Assistant Executive Manager (Legal) reveals his eight island song choices as: I AM NOT A FOOL - Cockney Rejects, OUT THERE IN THE NIGHT - The Only Ones, JINX - Peter and The Test-Tube Babies, RAZORS IN THE NIGHT- Blitz, NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE -Kirk Brandon, JETZT ERST RECHT- Stomper 98, BRITISH STEEL - The Gonads, and EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL - The UK Subs. And anyone who disagrees should feel free to have a word with his enforcer, Vincent ‘Vinnie’ Riordan.

The Beast

The Beast’s book choice is the indispensible Smith & Hepple on Ecclesiastic Insurance Treaty Law. Film: Quadrophenia. TV show: Bushell On The Box. Next on Desert Oi-Land: The Mighty Tripod from the Uprisers! Followed swiftly by October’s instalment of Punk Rock Book Club – honest!

Meanwhile, sticking to a horror theme, the Misfits are streaming ‘The Devil’s Rain’ – their first new album for more than a decade. Oh, and Rancid’s Tim Armstrong has unveiled his latest project, Tim Timebomb's Rock’n’ Roll Theatre - a made-for-the-web musical theatre series which Rolling Stone mag describes as: "A cross between Rocky Horror Picture Show and anthology TV series like Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits, Rock’n’Roll Theatre will feature half-hour episodes with Armstrong serving as the narrator a la Twilight Zone's Rod Serling." The debut episode, called Dante, features Lars Frederiksen and AFI's Davey Havok.

We are rehearsing full-on for Greater Hits Volume Two: The Mutt’s Nuts. Asked how rehearsals were going, a spokeswoman for Nacho Jase tells us: “It’s hardcore, man, it’s fucking in-tents.” (Nads in-joke). We love Jase, but, says FB “if he keeps asking us to play gigs that will leave the band hundreds of pounds out of pocket, we may well have to hold him down and give him a dry slap.”

An email arrives from persons unknown suggesting that Sharron Stiletto is writing her autobiography entitled ‘My Life As A Man’; the attached ‘press release’ describes Shazza as “a rather masculine inclined oestrogen-based entity” and includes the statement: ‘What’s the best thing about shagging a trannie? When you reach round, it feels like it’s gone all the way through’. How base. If this email is a Fat Col hoax, we apologise without reservation to the delightful Shazza. If not, we say as one: “For god’s sake, get a grip mate.”

RANDOM news: The Riverboat Gamblers are working on a new album...the Dropkicks are on Conan next week (which makes more sense if you’re in the USA...and André Schlesinger is masterminding an ‘Oi Against Racism’ compilation album, to be released on May Day 2012 and which will include un-released Gonads’ Ska track ‘Mungo Jingo’... also in the big world of stuff we deem worthy of being called news, Phoenix City Records have just released a new digital album from King Fatty called ‘Rocksteady Dynamite’, apparently “16 killer cuts of 60's inspired organ instrumentals” PLUS Ya Bass’s ‘Back A Yard Dub’ us ahht.

Oct 4. The first taster for Cass Pennant’s new documentary on soccer casuals is up on YouTube here.

Oct 3. We’ll be playing Leeds on January 21st with Sham 69 and Splodge. It’s an Oi Against Racism show – more details as and when.

The sizzling Skatonics (‘the ultimate 2-Tone experience’) played a benefit gig in Bromley, Kent, on Saturday – to raise money for the family of war hero Private Daniel Steven Prior of the 2nd Battalion The Parachute Regiment.

Woody from Madness jumped up and joined in on drums (pictured) – also in attendance: Arthur ‘Bilko’ Kay, full of talk about his new Ska project the Skamadillos and boxer Julius Francis. The event was also supported by various Ska luminaries and us – a Gonads CD and Gal & Jeff Turner’s book ‘Cockney Reject’ were among the raffle prizes. Private Prior, who was 27, was wounded by an improvised explosive device and, despite medical care in Afghanistan and in the UK, he died of his wounds on 18 March 2011 in the Royal College of Defence Medicine Queen Elizabeth NHS Hospital, Birmingham. Daniel leaves behind his wife, Emily, and their new born son, Logan.


Gal’s latest Rancid Sounds podcast will be up and running on Total Rock Radio “this week”, we’re promised faithfully by Malcolm Dome. The show features great songs from Marching Orders, NOi!se, Booze & Glory, Jenny Woo, the Bermondsey Joyriders, Sanguine, the Cockney Rejects, the Usual Players, Limozine, Forced Reality, the sublime Gregory Isaacs, P45, Case, The Gonads, and an awful lot of Monkish because Brad and Snelgers were the studio guests. The new Total Rock studios in Poplar are lavish in comparison to the station’s old Denmark Street eyrie, but they seem to consist of a garden shed and a greenhouse inside of a warehouse which Gal reckons is Talcy Malcy’s lock-up. Among the microwaves and inflatable dolls there are such baffling objects as an antelope’s head, an antique merkin and a Victorian coat-stand. Malcolm is the Arfur Daley of rock and no mistake... Send CDs to Gal c/o Total Rock Radio, 8-10 Rhoda Street, London, E2 7EF.

Many thanks to veteran Trojan skins Paul Pettitt and Brian Ska Morgan who answered Gal’s facebook appeal for a copy of his vintage Dance Craze magazine (from 1981); the mag, still in pristine condition, was delivered to Nads HQ earlier today under lock and key. The reasons why will become apparent later in the year...

Oct 2. Today the Desert Oi-Land hammock takes a massive swing to the left, with the arrival of MFC’s own Tim ‘The Anarchist’ Scargill (far right in picture), AKA Tim V Man, new front-man of The If, sometime singer with Sham 69 and full-time Class War enthusiast.


Tim’s eight tracks are: SPACE JUNK-DEVO (“I first heard this on the first album and at that time everything coming out of the US was suspected. I thought DEVO had narrowly escaped being accused of jumping on the band wagon - they had in effect created something that was off the wall but in their own style. I just loved the fact they had used the 50's happy home imagery and the legendary Boogie Boy to full effect... not everyone’s taste but I love it”.), PLASTIC GANGSTERS – The 4 SKINS (“Well this band I have always believed were way under-rated for their songs and style... this song was for me everything that typified some guys who I had met in my life. I met some nut jobs as well as having some as close friends but as they say those that boast don’t.

The song was as many of their songs at that time have power and tell it as it is without shame and in this day and age say's a lot.”), PRESSURE DROP - THE MAYTALS (“I first heard this song when I managed to pick up a copy of the original MONKEY MAN album in Brixton market and which was imported from Jamaica and then I got the UK release which was FROM THE ROOTS which was on the Trojan label. The song was for me more about its words and rhythm and at a time when things were getting bleak and Gordon Honeycombe was reading the news. I like a lot of Ska and roots at that time, though at times I lost the plot as to what was what.”), STARMAN - DAVID BOWIE (“Well I had to think long and hard about this one as like most of my muso mates they always site Bowie as a big influence... me I thought he was confused as most people did if they are honest... but the music was awesome and gave most guys the zip they wanted at that time. The song and Bowie was stylish and most geezers loved that. But Starman was the song you could always pull birds to and have a mooch to... especially down the YOOOF Club.”), 007 SHANTY TOWN - DESMOND DEKKER (“Well I love this song as it’s something that ooozes class in that genre of music and being a fan of Desmond Dekker it fits right. Most Skins I have met throughout the world with SHAM 69 are slowly getting into early Blue Beat and Ska but more importantly into Roots as well. A classic tune.”), HOW DOES IT FEEL – SLADE (“Blimey this song even writing about it fill's me with happy memories, but above all its emotional wallop. Yes when the the songs breaks into the crunching rock riffs it sends something something in my a definite air guitar job. But above all I remember going to see Flame at the flicks and seeing them in their White suits I thought ere ere whats this then... but they didnt let me down. Slade for me was a huge influence on me musically and I only wish that some bands would admit they were influenced by them and not by living a tough lifestyle.”), HARDER THEY COME - JIMMY CLIFF (“Another reggae classic and many people forget about the film form which this came from. I have only got a CD copy of the soundtrack now having lost my Vinyl copy in a exchange of venom with an ex... this pride and joy whizzed past my ear as I was descending the stairs as was my love for the girl. But for me the song as most of Jimmy’s songs has poetry and charm and I think he writes for most of us. It was my privilege to play a show with him when SHAM played a festival in Latvia..a nice guy to know and watch.), WONT GET FOOLED AGAIN - THE WHO (“Haha..well I left this one to last as THE WHO are are m favourite bands and recalling a comment Gal Bushell said to me that once he picked his favourites he changed his mind...well with this I wouldn’t. Though its a long one it for me does everything it builds you up and then propels you and real feel good song. Having seen them several times live this song with the lasers was incredible. If those of you reading this have seen them live doing this song you know what I mean. On another note having read the lyrics more intensely of late I couldn’t think of a more apt song for me, Ian and Al and 90% of SHAM 69 fans.”).

Tim’s film is: THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE (“I love this film and would again rate this in any list I picked. The film which was directed by Tony Richardson and starring David Hemmings, Trevor Howard amongst many was a real kick in the teeth for military history. At a time when human life meant nothing to the powers that be and officer-ship was judged by a price ticket. The film portrays life as a officer and a foot soldier prior to the Crimea war. I know at the time of its release that the govt depts were a little uneasy with its factual expose. The films is unique as well as during the film it has animation and that was an incredible risk. The film for me stands the test of time and unfortunately still reflects some of the alarming lack of support our troops get fighting for this country.”). TV box-set: THE SWEENEY (“I fucking love this series and always pace myself when watching the set. I used to take it on the road when touring with SHAM 69 as it put me in good stead for the concert ahead. Not that I wanted Dave or anyone to call me Guv... but for me it did something else. The programme like that for many if their honest harks back to a time when London was London and SOHO was SOHO. I don’t know if it’s a case of sad ol git cant face the future but it for me reflects happier times. When choosing this it was a close run thing between this and TILL DEATH DO US PART. For me I think that the PC world in which with live has become more of a stranglehold on society than an aide, but also insulting to our intelligence. The Sweeney was always denigrated for being over violent but for fuck sake it was about takling serious crime and so it had to be met like for like. I have heard in the last 2 weeks that they are making a film of THE SWEENEY... well let’s hope!”). BOOK: WHATS IT ALL ABOUT-MICHAEL CAINE: (“This is one guy who I respect and love. He is one actor that can be rated as a part of the PRIDE OF BRITAIN. I know many will say well he’s minted and a movie star what’s he got in common with us. But I like reading biogs as they show that it isnt just me whos fucked up and Michael’s book tells the same. He hasn’t had it easy and despite being a star fairly early the films that he was famous for he nearly never got. The film most people know Zulu... was right up to the first day of filming not he's it was only Stanley Baker who persisted that he plays the part managed to see it through to the end. Like me Michael was a South London boy he went up I went down... Anyway... that’s my choice for Desert Oi-Land discs... and I want to know why Gal has just sailed off in that boat???” Next on Desert Oi-Land: THE BEAST!!!

Tim’s new band The IF stars Rick Buckler (ex Jam) on drums, Tim V Man on vocals, Tony Feedback (ex Gonads, ex Upstarts) on guitar, Ian Whitewood (ex-Sham) also on drums, and bassist Al Campbell (ex UK Subs). You can catch The If live on October 20th at the Walthamstow Royal Standard before they head off on tour; support: Wide Boy Generation.

Oct 1st. Our Big Punk Xmas Party is confirmed, at the 12 Bar club in London’s Denmark Street on Friday 2nd December. We’ll be playing with The Rivalries & Shakey’s Brother plus more bands to be confirmed. Expect the return of the Franken-Skin, the rise of the Zombie Skins and much more. Meanwhile – and this is bizarre but absolutely true – we have been approached by a TV production company about starring in a reality show featuring us and what they (patronisingly) describe as “all the crazy characters associated with your band.” Crazy characters? Bloody cheek! Are they perchance referring to such fine and upstanding citizens as Fat Col Gannon, Wattsie Watts, Harvey Gardens, FB, Bevvy Blow-job, Allyson Maverick, Batty, Scrotum, Fit-Bird, The Beast, The Nosher, the PM, Big Dave Williams, the Charlton Boys, Clyde Ward, Effete El, the Yeti, Sid the Lip, André ‘Maninblack’ Schlesinger, Sandy Lane and Charlton Tel’s “old firm”? Or do they mean the wider Gonadian periphery of Si Spanner, Jenny Torrid, Angel Sinclair, Ronnie Rouman, Cucumber Kate, Gal Johnson, Leah McCaffrey, the Mighty Tripod and the rest of the Gonads USA? Perhaps even Sharron Stiletto (nee Slutt), Chelsea Dom, Little Dave, Dolly Burns, John ‘The Veggie’ King, Kiria, Cass, the Jolly Pranksters and Jennie Bellestar! With such a stellar cast it would be, as even Ally Ross would testify, one helluva series - ‘Laid In Charlton’ maybe, ‘Bell-Enders’ or ‘The Only Way Is Nads Sex’. Why, the band might even deign to drag themselves out of bed before teatime to be in such a show. Negotiations continue but unfortunately, for now, Waistrel has stepped in to decline, saying that “to allow cameras into our world would be like letting the sunshine in on magic”. Gal concurs adding sagely “Benny Hill, my guru, once told me never to appear on TV unless and until you can control the edit, and I think that he was right. We’re flattered to be asked but this show is not going to happen unless our own company, Soitainly Productions, are making it.” Here, here!

Today on Desert Oi-Land, author, Shogun merch maestro and 2000 Tons Of TNT promoter Max G. Morton.

Max’s discs are:
Out On A Island – Cock Sparrer ("We would start with the opening scene montage, where I'm basking in the joys of tropical solitary confinement. See me climbing trees, cracking open and eating many coconuts, surfing a makeshift board and communicating with the animals. So far, life is good out on an island...”); New Age – Blitz (“this will play every morning, because every island-slash-apocalypse junkyard needs a national anthem”), Indestructible Wolves – The Gonads (“will play after dark because any man-slash-wolf needs a theme song to get through the night”), A Place In The Sun - David Isaacs (“will be played while things are still peaceful on the island, before pre-war negotiations with my worst enemy (myself) begin”), Veteran Of The Psychic Wars - Blue Oyster Cult (“will play when the hallucinations start to take hold from digesting some mysterious vine”), Gabriel - Laughing Hyenas (“will be saved for when the horns
Max G Morton

kick in, memory floods and my aura turns black. The flies will start swarming and the vultures won't be far behind. Soon the Wolves will close in”), Gang Warfare - Forced Reality (“the perfect fighting anthem done nastier than the Strike. I may be alone on an island, but the energy of my brothers will be conjured as total war erupts”), Life Of My Own - Cro-Mags (“blares post double-vision quest. The jam is so powerful, all enemies are now beheaded and receding on wooden steaks. It all becomes clear and the aftermath that is the Apocalypse Junkyard”), There There My Dear - Dexys Midnight Runners (“the logical choice for a feverish close to an uphill revolutionary battle that forever bleeds youth and rage”), Speedway – Morrissey (“would play throughout the closing credits-slash highlight real of everything prior to being out on an island...”)

Max’s book would be Journey To The End Of The Night by Louis-Ferdinand Céline (“the ultimate book to take with you and a one way ticket to the unknown”). Film: Over The Edge (1979) “Claude Zachary and Richie White are the only friends you will ever need”. TV box-set: Friday Night Lights: The Complete Series “to supply the ultimate concoction of emotions.” Max’s latest book, Live...Suburbia!, co-authored with Anthony Pappalardo is out NOW! Next on Desert Oi-Land: the scariest member of Team Gonad. And if The Beast can’t do it, we’re sure Franken-Skin will step in!

How about this for a crowd!?! Gal wows a merry throng of pan-European punters during his hush-hush low-key debut continental gig as Garry Bushell Solo (picture by JT; set-list: ‘Oi Mate’, ‘Half Past Three & Nine Pence’, ‘South London Aggro Girl’, ‘Fat Cat Splat’, ‘Karl Marx Supported Millwall’ and ‘Corruptus Interruptus’). Pukka Gonads shows are expected to follow in France and Germany next April, and then Italy and Spain – just as soon as the promoters get their fingers ahht. Gal arrived back yesterday just in time to record his latest pod-cast with Bradders and Snelgers from Monkish. We’ll let you know when it’s up.

Gonads in Berlin

as anyone seen Fat Col? He was last seen at the Porthcawl Elvis Festival with the Penarth Pranksters last weekend. It’s not that we’re worried, it’s just that Janette is excited because she’s convinced that she’s still in the will.

Random news: coming out on 11/11/11 - Oi! THIS IS STREETPUNK a compilation of eleven songs from eleven bands on 11” vinyl. The bands are: NOi!SE, the OLD FIRM CASUALS, the HARRINGTON SAINTS, SYDNEY DUCKS, LOWER CLASS BRATS, CONTROL, BOOZE & GLORY, 45 ADAPTERS, MARCHING ORDERS, the YOUNG OFFENDERS, and KNUCKLEHEAD (Pirates Press)... Jennie Matthias launches 1-STOP-EXPERIENCE’s debut album on October 30th at Under Solo in Inverness Street, Camden with the Dig It Sound System and DJ Bosher.

André Schlesinger’s synth-oi side-project can be heard supplying background music for a NYC Fashion Week show here. Tune back mid-week for Punk Rock Book Club...