Please note the items you are about to read consist largely
of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked.
Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not
fully thought through.
Oct 29. It’s Halloween Weekend! So welcome to Franken-Skin’s
Haunted House of Fun. Our monstrous mascot is so full of the joys
of horror that he is offering another big Gonads Halloween Discount:
our two new Nads t-shirts for £15 plus P&P. (Click on the pics
to order them). We’re killing ourselves here – which is just how
Frankie likes it.
Of course, Halloween is a little different in
Charlton Village. At Nads HQ, if we get a knock at the door it’s
unusual to find small snooty brats in fancy dress, and much more
likely to see some geezer out of his head on glue with a stanley
knife in his hand. Anyhoo, here are a couple of Frankie’s patented
Halloween Punk Facts. Punk Fact 1: Silence Of The Lambs star Brooke
“Put the fuckin’ lotion in the basket” Smith was once a photographer
on New York’s nascent hardcore punk scene. Brooke snapped everyone
from the Bad Brains to Reagan Youth and worked as the coat check
girl at punk club The Ritz. Halloween Punk Fact 2: Horror film
director and White Zombie rocker Rob Zombie slipped punk references
into his remakes of Halloween and Halloween II. In the first,
you can clearly hear the Misfits playing in the bedroom; in the
latter you can hear the Bad Brains, Scream, and Void’s song ‘Time
To Die’. Star Scout Taylor-Compton, who plays Laurie Strode, can
also be seen sporting a Black Flag t-shirt for much of the film.
Frankie’s Top Halloween Terror Picks:
‘Franken-Skin’ – The Gonads (obviously), ‘Attack Of The Zombie
Skinheads’ (ditto), ‘Halloween Hootenanny’ – Various, ‘Legacy
Of Brutality’ – The Misfits, ‘Dead Moon’s Calling’ – Mad Sin,
‘Manmade Monsters’ – Plan 9, ‘Nightmare Revisited’ – Various,
‘Pandelirium’ - Th' Legendary Shack*Shakers, ‘Horror Hits For
Halloween’ – These Ghoulish Things.
Tonight’s big Jolly Pranksters’ Halloween Party
is on (usual East Sussex farm venue) but sadly no report will
follow as the Pranksters have banned all coverage due to what
they describe as “unusually high and unsavoury levels of media
interest in our loyal brotherhood.”
IN proper news, our limited edition split single with Infa-Riot
is finally out, but you’ll have to buy the Randalierer fanzine
to get a copy. And our Balls Brothers Christmas gig has been postponed
until next January or February (very festive – Ed), because someone’s
Nan is on holiday and Spizz is washing his hair or some such cobblers.
Punk rock! We’ve forgotten more than these bastards know about
it. Tune back mid-week for Punk Rock book club.
*REMINDER for our NYC readers: the mighty Maninblack will be
at the Double Down Saloon, on Monday for a Halloween extravaganza...
New band member Michael "Geddy" Brown will be making
his debut on bass guitar, bass pedal synthesizer and backing vox,
and the lads will be breaking out some new material along with
André's atmospheric theremin skills on select songs. They’ll
also be giving away free copies of the mini CD single ‘"Fighting
In The Streets b/w The NYC." Kick-off 8pm, Maninblack should
be on around 10.
A message to you Rudy, and a poxy one: we hear solid talk that
the current Specials tour will be their last for the foreseeable
Oct 28. Gal recorded his latest podcast today with three quarters
of the legendary Case in Malcolm Dome’s lock-up (newly in – Xmas
trees!) in beautiful downtown Shoreditch (turn left after the
mosque, then right by the babbling hippie, step over the junkie,
proceed with caution...). The show features quality tunes from
the Dub City Rockers, Cyanide Pills, Yellow Stitches, The Upsessions,
Wild Billy Childish, The Uppercuts, The Black Marias, Rebel Territory,
Liberty Hayes, Marching Orders, Shakey’s Brother, Booze & Glory
and “original folk punk” Gus Elen. Studio guests Case are celebrating
a reunion after 28 long years of “holding back until the time
is right” ((c) Dave Long) and play London’s 100 Club on November
5th with the Infas. You can hear it all here: http://www.totalrock.com/podcast/GarryBushellsRancidSounds.xml
The show was slightly sabotaged by the absence of Matthew (allegedly
throwing up in a bucket in Croydon), a defective CD player and
“some bald tosser singing acoustic shite” (a technician writes)
in another studio. We’re told the whole enterprise was threatening
to “collapse like the Eurozone” but incredibly you can’t tell
any of that from the recording. It also features the first ever
playing of the blinding new anthem ‘Poplar Boys’ by the original
East End Badoes line-up. Apparently this has caused some controversy
with the current Badoes, however, vocalist and founder member
Terence Hayes, PM, explains: “The original line-up were asked
by various record companies to record this ep as a one-off celebration
of our 30th anniversary; we will not be playing gigs or recording
any more songs. This is not an alternative to the current Badoes
line-up in any way.” And of course anyone who still has concerns
is welcome to have a quiet word about it with Skully.
Just in: The Charlton Boys ep!!!! Check out the shop page for
details soon. Well we’re ’kin’ busy.
Oct 28. Could Folk-Punk be the next big thing? (No – Ed). As
well as the aforementioned enthusiasts (Jenny Woo, Louise Distras,
Jeniera Blade and Liberty Hayes) Jennie from Rebellion is fronting
acoustic punk band The Crows who on top of banging out original
material cover oi standards like Sparrer’s ‘Because You’re Young’.
We’ve also been contacted by a gang of young folk-punk enthusiasts
who call themselves ‘Hard Folkers’. The folkers claim to stand
for “all the original punk ideals” such as “free-thinking”, “working
class spirit” and “rebel ideals”. They sound like more than a
match for the self-styled Anti-Acoustic League. But we’re not
trying to stir up any war on the terrace or malice on the melodeons
here. We’re merely open-minded observers of the fledgling folk-punk
thang. Enthusiasts say it has more guts and punch than the likes
of Kate Rusby and Kathryn Tickell (we know her sister Tessa well);
the proof of course will be in the recordings.
Another missive arrives from the aggressive herberts of the Anti-Acoustic
League. It states: ‘Oi! Bushell - No!! The worm has turned! From
the man who promoted Total Noise to champion of gushing plastic
Hippies with guitars... You're finally showing your age! Either
that, or the rumour circulating that you're too tight to pay for
electric must be true! So are you making The Gonads perform Unplugged
to save some cash? (Unpubbed might be a better/cheaper option!).
No surprise to see all the old gits jumping on the bandwagon and
taking the chance to hang out with women half their age. Mind
you, if we weren't all so dashingly handsome and dapper (not that
cunt from N-Dubz) then maybe we'd be joining you ugly unpluggers
in harassing young nubile string fiddlers. For those that continue
to ruin the Electric energy that ruled the roost and want to get
old, dour and mellow before their time, we have one thing to say:
Folk off!! - Hairy J Blige, Anti-Acoustic League, Cornish Chapter.
This thing could run and run (with a hey nonny nonny, oh hey nonny
nonny, hey nonny nonny no.)
As for the Carry On Gal film (or All Hands On Dick) we’ve been
inundated with suggestions about other oi-oi personalities who
should be in the movie. Like Stinky Turner as a Jim Dale type
lovable rogue, Bev Elliott as Liz Fraser, Chelsea Dom as a sort
of Peter Butterworth character, Max Splodge as Harry H Corbett
and the rest of the Gonads as drunken stowaways. Lord Waistrel
would of course be the first Earl Of Bristols. The Beast could
be ‘Sidney Bung’, FB could be Jack Douglas ("phwaay!"), while
Fenella Fielding could easily be played by vivacious Vix from
Fuzzbox (“phwoar!”). But how about Kenneth Williams, you ask?
“It’s got to be Pete Way!” emails one well-known musician who
prefers to remain anonymous. Now all we need is a cabin girl to,
ahem, work her passage, and an angel/investor to underwrite it.
Let’s not forget that Cockney comedy legend Mick Pugh wrote the
script for Curry On Up The Gonads several years ago and so far
not one of you ungrateful bastards has rustled up the £500K necessary
to make it happen.
Gig noos: The Beat play the Clapham Grand on 2nd December...
Secret Affair headline 229 on Sat Nov 26th... From The Jam are
Under The Bridge on 17th Dec (insert your own Under A Bus insults
here)... The Selecter bounce into 229 on March 17th... See you
back here for Halloween, douche bags!
Oct 27. Our mention of Louise Distras has provoked a rather
small-minded backlash. Some clowns calling themselves the Anti-Acoustic
League sent us a furious message saying: ‘Oi! Bushell, Louise
who? Oh, and she just happens to be blonde and fit as a butchers
dog! Well, we've had enough - even GBH and The Exploited joined
in and played an acoustic 'Fuck The USA' in an Edinburgh pub last
week, for fuck sake! When will this boil on the face of Punk Rock
be banished to where it belongs? A folk bar!!’ They go on: ‘We're
coming for you and anyone else who promotes this girly shite.
And will feed you blue smarties until your eyes pop! You have
been warned!! The End is nigh!’ (They actually wrote ‘neigh’ but
unless they’re coming by horse, we think they mean nigh.) They’ve
also missed the boat – as folk punk is starting to explode. As
well as Canada’s Jenny Woo, we understand that Jeniera Blade is
planning on recording an ep mixing original songs with acoustic
covers of classics by Sparrer and The Men They Couldn’t Hang in
the New Year, and Liberty Hayes has long been performing or recording
folkier songs, with both us and the Dropkick Murphys. Louise’s
co-song-writer Steve Whale tells us: “That's just the sort of
reaction we want. The old people don't like it!” By Patrick and
Fitzgerald! Those who oppose the folk punk can join the Anti Acoustic
Cock Sparrer, Infa-Riot, Menace and Control will play Rebellion
at the Melkweg, Amsterdam on June 16th 2012. Tickets are £35 and
available from the venue.
The news that Gal is performing in a professional capacity on
a cruise next month has provoked the East End Badoes to claim,
amusingly, that the ship is the Titanic (or the Lusitania or the
Bismarck.) While a tickled John King, of Football Factory fame,
is now referring to “Captain Gal Bushwhacked of the Good Ship
Gonad”, and has suggested filming a “mini-farce” called Carry
On Gal or All Hands On Dick (Carry On A Broad has clearly already
been taken by Sharron Stiletto.) He casts it thus: Captain Sid
James, played by John King; The Captain’s Wench, Barbara Windsor
(Beki Bondage), Midshipman Kenneth Williams (Mark Wyeth), Manic
Boilerman Kenneth Connor (Manic Esso), entertainer, drunkard and
tapdancer Charles Hawtrey (Gal), Bosun Bernard Bresslaw (Steve
Whale), Fatima/Hattie Jacques (The Yeti), Sir Roger de Lodgerly/Leslie
Phillips (Terence Hayes, PM), Cora Flange/Amanda Barrie (Wattsie
Watts) and Ship's Cook/Joan Sims (Batttttty). Typical dialogue;
Cora: “What are you looking at?” Captain: “Sharks! Man-eating
sharks! The sea is full of them; mind you don’t fall in.” Cora:
“Do you think they’d eat me whole?” Captain: “No, I’m told they
spit that out.”
Rancid are confirmed as the Sunday night headline band for Rebellion
2012. The Slackers, Booze & Glory and Splodge are also on the
bill. Early bird tickets are currently £95, but the price rises
to £115 next Monday (1st November.)
Crashed Out play a Punks Against Prejudice all-dayer on November
12 in Leeds (The Fenton), with China Shop Bull, The Duel, Old-school
Politics, The Fuckwits and more.
An email arrives from someone claiming to represent the laughable
German oirezene site. It states: ‘The only way for bands to rise
above suspicion is to publically support the legacy of Joseph
Stalin.’ It concludes: ‘To safeguard dissent, democracy, freedom
of speech and association, we must first abolish them.’ How odd.
Satire do you think?
Oct 25. Check out our hair-raising Halloween sale: THREE great
Gonads CDs for the price of TWO. That’s right, this is no trick,
chaps, it’s a treat and a half because for one week only you can
get ‘Glorious Bastards’, ‘Live Free Die Free’ and ‘Plums’ for
the genuinely spooky price of £20 plus p&p – direct from HERE.
Offer ends October 31st. We’re scaring ourselves here people!
Oct 24. The Bouncing Souls are back
in the studio in January to record what they describe modestly
as the “greatest collection of songs ever written.” It’ll be out
late next Spring.
And here’s some more good news: the dyna-might-tee-hee
Dub City Rockers debut album will finally be released by Moon
Ska World next week after a delay that makes the Contra boys look
like Speedy Gonzales. Called ‘Peace Love Faith Hope Respect Co-Exist’,
the 32-track delight features highlights such as modern classic
‘Trojan City Love’, ‘Rude Boy Hooligan’ (with The Upsessions)
and ‘We Do The Ska’ (with Chris Murray). More details HERE.
Move over Jenny Woo, England’s got acoustic punk
too! Here’s Louise
Distras, Wakefield’s own cake-baking, chain-smoking spiky
six-string siren. Louise is writing songs with Steve Whale even
as we speak.
We’ve given Contra some stick about the long delay over the
30 Years of Oi compilation (now coming up to 32 years and counting),
but it hasn’t been easy for them. Contra boss Hechti tells us
“I’m 36 and this album has turned my hair grey.” If he doesn’t
sort it soon, there’s a good chance the poor sod will look like
Frankie Flame by the time he’s 37.
Nads Ad: For sale, one deluxe hearing aid. If you’re interested,
give us a shout...
Ronnie Rouman himself descended on a quiet Kent hostelry today
for a seven-strong, high-level Oi Organising Committee meeting.
Many projects were discussed, including, it’s believed, a brand
new limited edition Prole ep... if Steve Kent can be lured out
of retirement... John King was at the People’s Pledge lobby of
Parliament earlier, on behalf of the OOC. He also attended the
Conference on Saturday.
John reports: “The Conference was excellent, 2,000 people turned
out and there was a really good range of speakers. The vote was
always going to be lost in the Commons, but this is just the beginning.”
The battle for British independence continues.
Oct 23. Talk about the Greatest Cockney Christmas! We’ve only
gorn and added a second London gig – December 10th at Balls Brother,
Lime Street Exchange - 52 Lime Street, EC3M 7BS – us, with Spizz
and The Roystons and a top DJ. All for six sovs on the door. Have
Oct 22. Oi, Rudies, here’s a message and a half
for you. The next stage of 2-Tone Central’s expansion will be
the 2-Tone Village – a courtyard in beautiful downtown Coventry
devoted to Ska-related shops.
The 2-Tone Corner Shop and Corner Cafe (“the home of tea-tone
and Skappuccino”) are already up-and-running, to be followed soon
by Simmer Down, an Anglo-Caribbean restaurant, and then a 2-Tone
Museum (based on the original one at Coventry Uni) will take (strictly)
And on November 4th Lynval Golding and Neol Davies will launch
The Coventry Music Wall of Fame there too. 2-Tone Village is located
at Unit 7, The Courtyard, r/o 74-80 Walsgrave Road, Ball Hill,
Coventry CV2 4ED. More details here
– all in black and white. Maybe Camden’s Oi! The Shop should consider
expanding to open an oi-oi pie & mash gaff, Stinky’s high altitude
boxing gym, Hoxton Tom’s Bespoke Tailor’s, The Yeti’s Lap-Dancing
Emporium and a pit-bull pet shop (the last two are easily confused.)
Random news: Wolfsbane are back! Their ten-date comeback UK tour
kicks off in Sheffield on Nov 24. Says guitarist Jason Edwards:
“We are back, we are bolder (older/balder)!! The world needs saving!!
Clearly!! And with our usual modest self effacing attitude we
have returned pheonix-like to do it! The record is full of the
kind of 'don't give a fuckery' that the world is missing and needs
when the going gets tough! So pull ya self a pint of 'couldn't
give a shit' and lets ROCK!! Come see us on the tour! I'll be
at the bar, mine's a pint of Newcy Brown!” New album, Wolfsbane
Save The World is out soon.
The Cockney Rejects are launching their new ‘Rejects Army’ newsletter
in November, called The Power and The Glory. It’ll come out quarterly
We were intrigued to read that the new Anti-Nowhere League double
vinyl comes with ‘bouns songs’ (see ad below). Which Boon though?
Are we talking Pat Boone covers perhaps? Or maybe a punk version
of the theme tune from TV’s Boon, which from memory was ‘Hi Ho
Silver Lining’...or is it just that Animal can’t spell bonus and
is too ’kin’ tight to hire a proof-reader?
Oct 21. With the skilled of a trained diplomat, the PM has jumped
clear of the scandal that was threatening to engulf his long and
illustrious Prankster career. In a manoeuvre that is being described
by delighted senior lodge officials as “The Footscray Agreement”
El Tel is said to have descended late last night on the homes
of his accusers and enticed them along to the Kebab Ye take-away
in Maidstone Road. Here he is believed to have bought them off
with a mixed kebab (chicken and shish) and a kofte kebab washed
down with two cans of luke-warm Stella that he fished out of his
boot. The exercise, which appears to have cost under £15, seems
to have settled the matter for now, with all directly involved
parties happy. However we understand a breakaway group of young
hotheads led by Southend Dickie have condemned the move as “a
sell-out” and are threatening to bring what they call “this wretched
compromise” up at the next AGM. Says our source, Slippery Ted:
“For now the PM sleeps soundly, but this may not be the end of
the matter. I’m reminded of an incident from 1965 referred to
as the great “turmoil at Tubby Isaacs” in Aldgate when... ” (sorry,
Bonnet de douche! Brace yourself France. The magnificent Runnin'Riot,
the “incredibly handsome” (Are you sure? Ed) Black Marias and
Antwerp streetpunk herberts Midnight Tattoo will rock the Igelrock
in Valenciennes on the 10th December! Bon appétit!
Oct 20. Hurrah! Our Charlton Boys
ep is out today! Five tracks of belligerent mayhem featuring ‘Backstreet
Army’, ‘Warriors’, ‘Indestructible Wolves’, ‘Charlton Boys’ and
‘Valley Floyd Road’ – all on vinyl from Randale Records (catalogue
A limited collectors’ edition of just 500 have
been pressed. The only downside is all 500 of them are currently
in Diana’s lock-up in the Black Forest, somewhere between the
Upsessions and the gateaux, under a pile of Frankie Flame style
You can buy them direct from Randale, or you can
wait till next week when Postman Pat drops them off at Nads HQ.
Download link to follow.
Meanwhile, to celebrate, here are the Desert Oi-Land choices
of lifelong Gonads fan and stag weekend enthusiast Charlton Tel:
Whine & Grine – Prince Buster, You Send Me – Jackie Opel, Return
of Django – The Upsetters, Frankenstein Ska – Byron Lee & The
Dragonaires, Fat Fat Girl – Lloydie & The Lowbites, Will I What?
– Judge Dread, Taller Than You – Lord Tanamo, Money In My Pocket
– Dennis Brown, Oi Mate – The Gonads. Tel’s film is The Searchers.
His DVD is the complete Sons Of Anarchy box-set. His book is The
Face (“and Two-Faced”) by Garry Bushell.
emerge about ‘Punch Punch Your Fucking Head.’ This lost Gonads
classic was composed in the late 1980s by Gal and JJ Bedsore of
The Blood in the Bugle Horn in Charlton Village, but they never
got round to recording it (usual story: outsider comes in at 30-1
as part of a treble, 48hour bender ensues...). A demo tape of
the song was made, but it can’t be found, so Nacho will be reinterpreting
it according to Gal’s memory, which is roughly as reliable as
a politician’s promise... as a Blackberry phone... as a punctured
condom (continued Similes-R-Us)
The PM has issued a late apology for “any confusion” arising
from the shocking ‘Chinese-Gate’ scandal revealed here yesterday.
He tells us he is proposing “an honourable settlement so that
I can put this sorry business behind me and move on with my life.”
But says a Prankster spokesman “Tel has offered to buy said meal
at a time when he knows the wronged party is out of the country,
which could clearly be seen as a calculated insult – especially
when combined with a later text asking if there were ‘any local
Chinkies with a £4.99 lunch-time all-you-can-eat buffet and no
licence’.” The spokesman goes on: “It is good that the PM has
opened a channel of communication with his accusers/victims, but
he seems to be evading the central issue. If he thinks he can
bury his head in the sand like an ostrich and wait for the storm
to pass then he is sadly mistaken. The Pranksters can’t be seen
to be involved in a controversy of this order, especially on the
eve of a momentous international gathering” (believed to be a
reference to the World Championship Punk Rock Tiddlywink Challenge
to be held in a scout hut in East Sussex at the end of the month).
An insider cautions: “Unless the PM turns up sharpish with a couple
of portions of Peking duck, extra-hot noodles and some hot and
spicy prawn balls, he could well be asked to hand over his tiddlies.”
To the Cretin Nebula, where Fat Col has given us the absolute,
solid-gold quote of the week. “You give me a lot of stick,” he
moans. “But if I discovered a cure for cancer the world would
love me.” This is true. Go on then, discover it, you lazy fat
Oct 19. Just days after we killed it as dead as a dodo, Desert
Oi-Land Discs returns with the first of an occasional series of
specials. Today, in the island hot seat, is punk guitar legend
Dave Parsons of Sham 69.
Dave’s eight songs are:
| Better Must Come – Delroy Wilson (“Just
love the intro drum fill, it drops you straight into this magnificent
song with a groove to kill for, the ultimate song to offer up hope”),
Street-Fighting Man – Rolling Stones (“One of my favourite bands,
and one of their best tracks”), Engine No.9– Wilson Pickett (“No
matter how good a song is, if it’s not in the groove it’s useless!
This a great example of a song that’s glued to the rails”), My Generation
- The Who (“The first time I realised the rebellious power of music!
This was surely one of the first punk songs before Punk happened.
My Uncle played guitar with Pete’s Dad Cliff and my Mum went out
with Cliff for a while...”), Tired Of Waiting - The Kinks (“Probably
not the obvious choice from the Kinks, but it was the first track
of theirs I ever heard , and the first song that made me aware of
songwriters rather than just the band”), Summertime Blues – Eddy
Cochran (“When I was learning to play the guitar, hearing this song
was the first time I realised there was a different way to attack
the guitar”), Tears Of A Clown – Smokey Robinson(“There
has to be some Motown in here somewhere, and you can’t go wrong
withthis piece of genius;
| just perfect pop music”), Wonderful World Beautiful
People – Jimmy Cliff (“Simply one of the most uplifting songs
Dave’s film is American Graffiti (“or Performance”). TV box-set
(“Either Fawlty Towers or Only Fools & Horses because I’ll need
something to keep me laughing; make it the Trotters, because they’ll
keep me going longer”). Book: “As I’m on this desert Island, I’m
gonna need a book that I can read more than a few times, and one
that has a multitude of different stories, one that’s controversial
and gripping, full of life, death, hope and despair – though I’m
not what you would call a religious man, for the Island it would
have to be the Bible!” Sham 69, with James Pursey at the helm,
play the Brixton Electric on 29th October. Dave’s solo album has
just been released on CD by Nicotine Records... for more info
Gal’s new 2-Tone book – basically Dance Craze done properly –
is coming out for Christmas. The publisher wants pictures of YOU
with any of the bands, preferably back in the day, but they’re
interested in seeing any – and any band shots or 1979/80 rude
boy/rude girl pix too. The bands covered are The Specials, Selecter,
Madness, Bad Manners, The Bodysnatchers, The Beat, and the late
but legendary Judge Dread. If your picture is used, you’ll get
a free copy of the book! Send pix to email@example.com
Is the East End Badoes bandwagon about to be de-railed? On the
eve of their triumphant come-back, shock charges levelled at singer
Terry Hayes threaten to engulf the veteran Oi band in scandal.
In legal papers seen by this website, the PM has been accused
of the most heinous crime associated with our order: round-dodging.
Hard to believe maybe, but signed witness statements support allegations
that 1) the PM, Terence Thackeray Makepeace Hayes, did most solemnly
promise certain renowned experts that he’d fork out for “a slap-up
Chinese meal” as payment for assistance with the selling off a
bass guitar formerly owned by Dee Dee Ramone at a West End auction
house; and that 2) a further gut-busting five course dinner was
offered “as full payment” for help with an undisclosed musical
project. As yet these promises have not been honoured. An ashen-faced
spokesman for the Pranksters (Effete El) tells us “We cannot jump
to any conclusions, there could be other factors such as memory
loss and degenerative brain disorder to consider, but on the face
of it, the accusations could potentially see the PM driven from
public life in shame.” A close friend of the PM would only comment
“Eh? Do what?” Lord Waistrel has launched an immediate
Surprisingly Waistrel is the latest establishment figure to
weigh in with his support for the Occupy London protestors. Although
a capitalist and merchant banker of long-standing and considerable
ill-repute, his Lordship has told his followers and servants:
“We must listen to these angry young people, take note of the
valid points they make, and then work out how to make serious
money out of the scruffy little bastards.” To this end he has
set up his own PAYE scheme (Pay As You Erupt), which will supply
protestors with placards, graffiti and “if need be” petrol bombs
as required. Waistrel notes “All-day chanting and knocking off
the hats of policemen is thirsty work. I shall therefore establish
a string of protestor-friendly street vendors to service the revolting
masses. Let them eat cake, as long as it is cake baked at Waistrel
Manor and sold at a nifty 500% mark-up. Pip, pip! Top hole!”
The Beast descended on Sidcup last night in a burst of flames
to reveal that he has secured a deal for the new Splodge album...
more news will no doubt follow
Meanwhile FB calls to report that Gal is going through “an incredibly
productive time” with his solo song-writing. New ditties such
as ‘The Narrow Marrow’, ‘Tufty’s Nuts’, ‘Career Opportunity’,
and ‘Tonight’ are said to be “touched with gorblimey greatness.”
Says FB, “it’s like Judge Dread impregnated the Bodysnatchers
and Ian Dury was on hand to deliver the babies...” Which frankly
is not the kind of image we’d like to think about too closely.
Meanwhile, in Actual Gonads News, an old eighties punk classic
written by Gal called ‘Punch Punch (Your Fucking Head)’ may feature
onGreater Hits Volume Two, with some Nacho Jase spin.
Oct 18. The 30th anniversary Oi! album was scheduled
to be mastered yesterday. Progress indeed. So is the project finally
on course for an imminent release? What do you think? At 2.18pm
Contra Records frantically emailed to say “There is a big problem
- we’ve got the wrong Sab Grey song. It should be ‘Skinhead Girl’,
but it isn’t it.” They said that they needed the correct track
“within the next two hours” or else they would either have to
drop Sab or put the sampler back again “until the end of the year.”
So what happened? We can’t be sure. We did our bit, as we always
do, and our fingers remain crossed. It’s worth recalling however
that Contra had received all of the tracks for this compilation
by February 2010, some twenty months ago, and have had some of
them now for close on TWO YEARS. Would it be uncharitable to suggest
that they’d left it a bit fucking late to be checking through
them yesterday? (PS. Sab tells us: “No-one ever asked me for ‘Skinhead
Girl’ before now...” Typical. But hey, Sab, if you’ve got a spare
one, we’ll have her)
Happier news 1: Oi-Oi leg-end and TV personality Terence Hayes,
PM, tells us that the new East End Badoes’ four track ep, titled
‘Hard Hits For Herberts’ will “definitely be out before Christmas”
on “some Swedish label”. Don’t you love the attention to detail?
The songs have been recorded by the original Badoes line-up including
Stan Kutter (yeah, the Professor) and Skully who apparently perfected
his bass-playing skills while giving Her Majesty fifteen years
worth of pleasure, and sharing a cell, for some of that time,
with “a super-pro funk bass-player on a trumped-up murder charge.”
The songs will, we’re told, include the controversial ‘Yesterday’s
Zeroes’ which targets those “like Jimmy Pursey” who “turned their
back on us and let down the scene”; as well as our own favourite
‘Poplar Boys’. The ep cover will feature the boys on the docks,
then and now.
Happier News 2: punk rock guitar hero Nacho Jase tells us that
his new version of the Nads’ own ‘These Are Our Streets’ is “kin
awesome” – beyond oi, beyond hardcore, and “beyond the threshold
of pain itself”...Nice.
News, views and random brain-droppings: The Cockney Rejects
are playing two acoustic “unplugged” gigs at East London’s bijou
BH2 venue in December... in the spirit of solidarity, we’re going
to try and make our 12 Bar gig on December 2nd, “un-drugged”,
but don’t hold us to it; sulphate still takes some licking, as
does the Nosher... the mighty Iron Cross are releasing a brand
new ep on their own Skinflint label, this looks likely to include
an awesome new version of ‘Crucified’, plus ‘Die, Yuppie Scum’,
‘Drunken Bull’, ‘Strike First’, and ‘Wasted In DC’. It’ll be out
on vinyl and download... The first track from Tim Armstrong’s
Timebomb RockNRoll Theatre is up on line. Episode one of the ‘noir’
webcast musical theatre series features our old mate Lars Frederiksen
among others, and there’s a free download of Lars singing ‘We
Did All Right’ (so obviously not about Millwall then) which is
“available to stream via Topspin”. Some of you may even understand
what the feck that means.
Cryptic Question of the Week: where does ‘grass’ grow in test-tubes?
Fat Col calls to suggests a new compilation (Not a chance – Weary
Ed) called ‘Fuck Politics, We’re Oi!’ – a timely middle finger
message, he says, telling extremist zealots of all persuasions
to stay out of what’s left of our hair. But when we point out
that Col couldn’t be involved himself because a) he’s the chairman
of the Revolutionary Conservative Skins & Punks Association –
i.e. a totally political organisation, and b) he’s still supposed
to be busy organising the Pathetique 2012 sampler and festival,
the fat fool stomps off in a strop, muttering that “Oi! for UKIP
would be a better project anyway.” (UKOip? Sounds fishy.) Maybe
Bradders from Monkish should take over the Pathetique Renewal
2012 campaign, at least he knows what he’s doing.
Oct 17. Thanks to Charlton Boy Chris
Weeks for finding this genuine road sign in Chislehurst, Kent
– no doubt engineered by the powerful and Machiavellian Bromley
branch of the Jolly Pranksters. Sandy Lane says “Roll on Gal Mall.”
We’ll only be happy when we get Gonads Grove in London, SE7.
[Webmistress Batttttty adds... "There's
even a Bushell Close in Lambeth. Yeh! And who wouldn't want a
Bushell close while they're doing the Lambeth Walk... Further
to that, if you type 'Bushell' into Google Maps there are loads
in Australia. Almost as if Bushell's ancestors went
out there on a prison ship..." ]
Preston Pranksters have drawn our attention to
this magnificent establishment. According to legend, the barmaids
are topless, the beer is half-price, pork scratchings are on the
house, and the juke-box will play only punk, Ska, Oi and the hardest
of hard rock. The only thing wrong with this drinking class nirvana
is... it's in effing Preston!
Oct 16. Oh, Jesus Christ, done some brain cells last night...
these pictures are from last night’s official launch party for
our blistering ‘Charlton Boys’ ep (due out this Thursday, 20th
October, although we ain’t seen a copy yet). Any new Gonads release
is worthy of celebration, of course; unfortunately the treacherous
toe-rag of a photographer is believed to be offering these sordid
snaps to the Daily Mail for another of their shock-horror ‘Broken
Britain’ exposes... although frankly they look like a normal night
out in Charlton Village to us.All together: “And
when the Swan chucks out, hope the filth ain’t about...”
Oct 15. Hello Manhattan! Advanced warning: Maninblack is back
at the Double Down Saloon in the East Village (14 Ave. A, 10009,
near Houston) for a special Halloween night performance! Guests
include former Maninblack keyboardist Renzo "Tuco" Ortega's Electro
Punk project R-tronika along with Agent Jay of The Slackers at
the turntables spinning Punk and Reggae before, in between and
after. There'll be tricks! There'll be treats! Free admission,
cheap drinks, Halloween night in the NYC at the infamous DDS!
Maninblack will get you... if you don't watch out!
Punk Rock Book Club: Out now, an updated version of Bri Hurley’s
Making A Scene: New York Hardcore In Photos, Lyrics & Commentary
REVISITED 1985-1988. Originally published 22 years ago, this expanded
edition packs in more than two hundred photos along with memories
from key participants about the exciting (and notorious) Big Apple
HC scene. Published by Butter Goose.
Record news: just out, Latterman’s vinyl album, ‘No Matter Where
We Go..!’ (No Idea) – “proper, catchy, heartfelt punk rock”, says
Sandy Lane. And she should know.
Oct 14. Gal was invited to attend a charity gala earlier this
week organised by the Bromley Pranksters in association with the
elite Black Lodge of the now underground LHG. Fat Col, who was
MC on the night, tells us: “Unlike most Prankster dos, this event
was quite respectable and most of the guests were older than Charlie
Harper. There were ex-army types, union officials, clergymen and
the like. One of the speakers thanked the top table guests for
coming and then proceeded to mention Gal’s “genitally fixated”
involvement with the Gonads and the Orgasm Guerrillas. Eyebrows
were raised. Buttocks were twitched. Grins were frozen. But then
the speaker went on to mention Gal’s campaign for St George’s
Day and the mood changed. The 400 strong crowd erupted in cheers.
He then mentioned GB’s hostility to the EU and they nearly took
the roof off. Gal was hoist aloft and carried into the streets,
where he was begged to reconsider his decision not to run for
London Mayor next year. It fair brought a tear to the eye, until
that unfortunate business with the barmaid...” About which, nuff
Here’s a ticket
link for the Leeds all-dayer with Red Alert and Splodge in
Oct 13. Steve Bruce calls. It seems Cock Sparrer have had to
postpone their November gigs in New York and Philly after Micky
Beaufoy contracted DVT during their South American trip last month.
Let’s hope it clears up with penicillin. DVT is of course, Deep
Vein Thrombosis and not Dodgy Venereal Throbbing as we’d feared.
Steve tells us Mick’s condition is “serious but he is getting
over it.” When we ask if it’s curable, the cheeky drummer replies:
“There is no known cure for Micky Beaufoy.” All heart, that boy.
|Well, she’s been a long time coming
but here at last are Barbara Windsor’s Desert Island choices.
The Cockney comedy legend would take these eight
discs to her solitary, sun-kissed paradise: The Best Is Yet To
Come – Frank Sinatra & Count Basie, Für Elise – Ludwig Van Beethoven,
Sparrows Can’t Sing – Barbara Windsor, Suspicious Minds – Elvis
Presley, Drive – The Cars, The Secret Life of Tony Hancock – Galton
& Simpson, Every Time You Go Away – Paul Young, Pomp & Circumstance
March No. 1 in D major 'Land of Hope and Glory' – Sir Edward Elgar.
Barbara’s film would be her own Sparrows Can’t
Sing. TV show: EastEnders. Book: The Face by Garry Bushell (Who
he? – Ed).
Desert Oi-Land will now be suspended as a regular
feature, by order of the committee.
Random oi-oi news: the East End Badoes will release the all-new,
four-track ‘Poplar Boys’ ep on America’s Brass City Boss Tones
label in the near future...the new album from Yellow Stitches,
out in January can officially be described as “phenomenal”...
Controversy Corner 1: Harvey Gardens has hit out angrily at “the
rumours and mischief” being spread about Gal’s solo Ska ep, mostly,
it must be said, on this very site! One time convicted fraudster
Harvey dismisses claims that the ep will be ‘jazz-Ska’, insisting
that it will be “Oi-Tone, with brass” (we presume he means trumpets,
not paid-for crumpet) and “beard doodling”. The track list, leaked
by a tipsy Fit Bird, has been denied emphatically, too. And Harvey
is also refusing to divulge which musicians will be involved in
the project. We’re told that Gal asked his old pal Charley Anderson
from the Selecter to play bass on the ep. Apparently Chas was
up for it, but then mentioned the inconvenient detail that he
currently lives in Bogota, Columbia. D’oh! So what is Oi-Tone
exactly? Harvey reckons it’s “like Prince Buster arm-wrestling
Stevie Marriott, while Bob Hoskins jams with the Skatalites by
Gus Ellen’s graveside know what I mean.” Not entirely, no.
WANTED for Gonads spin-off project: a “Paul Di’Anno type” rock
singer with a punk attitude. If that’s you, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Beast promises that time-wasters will be “cut like butter.”
Oct 12. Good old FB has tracked
down the FrankenSkin for today’s Desert Oi-Land stint. Our fearless
road manager risked life and limb by interrupting Frankie in the
middle of his weekly ‘Strumpet Control & Restraint’ session at
his isolated dungeon retreat.
The great lumbering critter (FB) then left, leaving
FrankenSkin to tell us his song choices: Two Minutes to Midnight
- Iron Maiden, Night Of The Living Dead – The Misfits, FrankenSkin
– The Gonads, Charlotte the Harlot - Iron Maiden, Napalm Death
- Napalm Death, Forlorn - Hanging Doll, Son Of FrankenSkin – The
Gonads, The Monster Mash - Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt-Kicker
Five. Franken-Skin’s TV box-set is The Addams Family. His film:
Young Frankenstein. Book: The Ford Cortina Mk IV including Mk
V Haynes Manual. Next on Desert Oi-Land? We dread to think...
The Angelic Upstarts release a split album with
Crashed Out next month. All profits will go to UKIP...we lie of
course. It seems unlikely that Fat Col will be able to interest
Mensi in his proposed ‘Fuck Politics We’re Oi!’ concert. But we’d
be up for it.
RIP. Leonard Dillon, founder of the pioneering
JA Ska and rocksteady combo The Ethiopians of Train To Skaville
fame. Singer Leonard died of cancer two weeks ago.
Today’s Daily Mail claims that the Yeti is alive and living in
Siberia. Tsk. Typical Mail lies and deceit. We all know she lives
Oct 11. We’re a week away from the release of the ‘Charlton Boys’
ep, so who better to swing into the Desert Oi-Land hammock than
veteran Gonads fan Chris ‘Charlton Boy’ Weeks?
Former squaddie Chris, second from left in our
picture, is taking these eight songs to our paradise island: Little
Boy Blue – The Maytones, Come Back & Stay - The Fabulous Five
Incorporated, Charlton Boys - The Gonads (& The Charlton Boys),
Heart Full of Soul - The Yardbirds, White Man In Hammersmith Palais
– The Clash (original version), Paranoid - Black Sabbath, Hymn
For The Dudes - Mott The Hoople, The Wild-Eyed Boy From Freecloud
- David Bowie.
Chris’s film is Pirates of the Caribbean (Pts 1 to 4), which
is cheating quite frankly. His book is Lord of the Rings by JRR
Tolkien; his TV show is The Munsters. Next on the island? Barbara
Windsor – honestly! Unless Charlton Tel gets in quick...
’Charlton Boys’ is out on 20th October. The next release from
the Gonads’ stable is likely to be Gal’s first solo ep in April,
2012. Much mystery surrounds our leader’s Cockney Ska (or could
it be Cockney jazz-Ska?) project, but after we slipped Fit-Bird
a few Animée fruit beers last night, she told us the four-track
platter is likely to include ‘Corruptus Interruptus’ “an’ a new
version of ‘Mungo Jingo’ with that Vikki Thomas bird doing vocals
an’ that, and some dub bod called Professor Stanley Kutter producing
it, now shu’up cos TOWIE is on and I wanna look at Joey Essex’s
pants, I think ’e’s got a sock dahn there.” As yet no record company
has committed to releasing this gem (the ep, not Joey’s sock).
“It’s out to tender,” sniffs Gal’s personal manager Harvey Gardens.
Cockney Noos: the brilliant Bermondsey Joyriders are supporting
Glen Matlock’s King Mob in Bristol and London next month. Gary
Lammin is also doing a two-man show in a Hackney warehouse with
MC5 legend John Sinclair, stacking pallets. We lie! The dates
are: acoustic Hackney warehouse set (location TBA), 5th November;
the Joyriders and the Phobics, The Kings Head, Acton (12th), Joyriders
and King Mob, The Croft, Bristol (15th) and London, 229 The Venue
(17th). King Mob also stars Chris Spedding on guitar...
And sticking to a London theme, the original line-up of the
East End Badoes have demoed four new numbers which will be released
as an e.p. next year. ‘Poplar Boys’ could well be the best song
the Badoes have ever written...
The London Intl Ska Festival Winter Specials kick off next month
with two blinding shows at CFC's multi-millon pound venue, Under
The Bridge at Stamford Bridge. Saturday 19 Nov - Hotknives (original
line-up) plus top man Dave 'Double Barrel' Barker, The Sidewalk
Doctors and Buster Shuffle. Friday 2 Dec - The Dualers +special
guest Owen Grey, The Delegators, DJ Cello (Coast To Coast) and
more tba. Nearest tube Fulham Broadway. Tickets available now www.londoninternationalskafestival.co.uk/tickets (no booking fee) - Doors 7pm. If you live in Brighton, Horsham
or Crawley there are coaches running for the Hotknives show. Email email@example.com if you are interested.
Prankster incoming: the Guy Fawkes spectacular, organised by
the East Sussex Lodge, has been moved forward to the last Saturday
this month. See Old Eric for details.
There’s something special planned for next April: a United Oi
show in North London featuring bands from all over Europe. Word
is the organisers are working on “a dream line” featuring the
best new Oi bands from Sweden, Holland, France, Denmark, Poland
and the UK. More details when we get them. Meanwhile the Oi Against
Racism gig is back on in Leeds for January 21 with Red Alert replacing
Tim V-Man’s sham-Sham as head-liners. From our point of view,
this remains a moral rather than a political stance. Says Gal
“We’re with Menace on this one: ‘Political Man and your smilin’
lies/You’re all covered in smut...’!” All together now: ‘How do
you do it? Divide and rule! Split 'em up, split 'em up, keep 'em
out of sight/End up in the factory instead of in a school/Left
right, left right, right right, wrong!’
Oct 9. If Gal’s heart is beating faster today it’s because Pauline
Black has been in touch. The ravishing rude girl tells us that
her autobiography Black On Black has sold out its first edition
but will be getting another print run – a great book well worth
a read. Sadly there is no good news on the proposed Ghost Town
film about Pauline, Neville Staple and Coventry boxer Errol Christie
– the production company has run out of money. But the Selecter’s
new ten-track album Made In Britain is out now on Vocaphone Records.
The discerning Ms Black even goes so far as to suggest that Gal’s
autobiography Bushell On The Rampage is “a rollicking good read.”
The unfortunate story of what happened when Mr Gonad took her
and the band to Southfork Ranch in Dallas thirty-one years ago
will of course feature fully in part two, along with Bette Midler’s
thoughts on Pauline’s Playtex bra...
carefully, we weel zay zis only once... the great Gonads French
excursion is ON! Mais oui, mais oui. Us + Ska DJ Nigel Harris
+ local band at L’Ouvre Boite in Beauvais on April 21st ...
Gal’s October Rancid Sounds pod-cast is up now, here.l
Terrific tracks from Booze & Glory, the Bermondsey Joyriders,
Monkish, Marching Orders and many more.
Random noos: the Business have postponed their West Coast US
tour (they mysteriously blame the NHS); their Aussie, Kiwi and
Southeast Asian dates will proceed as scheduled...Ozzy says there’s
“a very strong possibility” that Sabbath will reform... out on
Tuesday from Fat Wreck Chords, the Star Fucking Hipsters’ album
‘From The Dumpster To The Grave’ - a punk/ska/crust ‘supergroup’
by all accounts
Oct 7. Good morning world, it's
a brand new day... and there's a brand new occupant on Desert
Oi-Land. Today it's the turn of the Mighty Tripod from the Gonads
USA who is also known to some as Jay Letendre from The Uprisers.
Tripod's eight songs are Stay Free - The Clash,
We Are 138 - The Misfits, Liberation - Lost City Angels, I Just
Want To Have Something To Do - The Ramones, Illya Kuryakin - Ike
B. and The Crystalites, Every Night I Have The Same Damn Dream
- Frank Morey, It's A Hard Life - Lenny And The Piss Poor Boys,
and Kiss Me Deadly - Generation X. His book would be The Idiot
by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Film: Reservoir Dogs ("amazing, I could
never get tired of watching it"). TV boxset: the complete South
Park ("more than TV, it's the Truth about what is wrong with our
The original Sham 69 are sorting out a world tour. We hear that
Japan and Brazil are pretty much confirmed, with the USA to follow.
If Jimmy turns up...
Big news at last from Contra Records who tell us that they "are
REALLY at the last stage" of the 30th anniversary Oi! album, 'Oi!
Never Surrender'. Our pal Hechti tells us "We have great artwork,
great songs and we think we done a good job (aside from the delay
which is a shame for us - call us the Guns & Roses of Oi!)". There
is however one small set-back. Roger Merit wanted to contribute
the Agnostic Front classic 'Gotta Go' but the quality of the track
he sent was too poor to use so Contra had to chose between delaying
the comp even more or going ahead without it. Says Hechti: "To
be honest, we can't wait one minute more. A lot of bands and customers
are waiting for the finished product and are asking us all the
time, so we have sadly dropped the song from this great band.
It's hard, but we have to release the album now..." Now, being...November?
We'll wait and see. The AF slot will be replaced by a number from
Tacoma's finest, the noxious and nifty NOI!SE...
Are Contra running Total Rock these days? The Rancid Sounds pathetique
edition with Monkfish still ain't up! GRRR!
Klub Skank is back! In a joint event with Longshot Sounds at
the Wonkey Donkey...which translates as The White Horse, 95 High
Street, Rainham, Kent on Saturday week (October 15, from 8pm).
The night promises: Top DJs, Boss Sounds and the CK's Downbeat
Sound System - all for a jacks! Your DJs for the evening will
be Mick Jeffreys, Phil Enthucol, Nigel Harris, Danny Hatcher and
the SkaShack boys, Lee and Toast! (We don't think that's the radical
economist Nigel Harris who wrote The Return of Cosmopolitan Capital:
Globalization, the State & War, but you never know...)
We would like to apologise unreservedly for printing the unkind
suggestion that Sharron Stiletto is "a rather masculine inclined
oestrogen-based entity". She is of course a rather feminine inclined
testosterone-based entity. We deeply regret any offence we might
Blackmail Corner: which so called
Oi band were so worried about skinheads that they spent most of
their Rebellion fee on hiring a minder? Unless they cough up plenty
of beer - a sledge-load to be precise - we're gonna tell the world!
Boys you have been warned.
Oct 6. It's back at last, the PUNK ROCK BOOK CLUB.
And recommended this month is Necro Files: Two Decades of Extreme
Horror, a compilation of blood-chilling tales from those deviant
bastards at Comet Press. Necro Files is a veritable orgy of sickness
featuring zombies, werewolves, serial killers, necrophilia, cannibals,
psychopaths, snuff and the occult. It includes stories by George
R.R. Martin, Joe R. Lansdale, Nancy Kilpatrick, J.F. Gonzalez
and many more. Bentley Little's Pop Star In The Ugly Bar is a
twisted joy; written in the 90s but suppressed by lawyers, it
tells of what becomes of a barely disguised Big Star of that era
who liked to flirt with S&M imagery but finds the real thing a
touch too much for her... We asked Fat Col to review this book
and he couldn't sleep for two nights afterwards. He said it was
"the scariest thing I've had to read since that letter from the
HM Revenue & Customs." ISBN: 978-1936964529. Comet Press Book
page is here.
Infa Riot's Barry D'Amery has been forced to issue a statement
about his politics after some questionable claims were published
on-line. We reproduce it here: "Due to recent internet accusations,
I have found myself in a position where I have to explain my politics.
Despite making it clear that I am not interested in politics,
I am coming under attack as there is a feeling that you are guilty
by association. INFA RIOT are not, never have been, and never
will be a Nazi band." Frankly no-one with any sense ever believed
they were. The Infas were one of the first Oi bands to play anti-racist
gigs back in the day and have never deviated from that stance.
The Gonads do not need to issue statements; we have been anti-fascist
since day one, and are happy to associate ourselves with Oi! Against
Racism, which is a moral rather than a political campaign. However
we are aware of a number of outrageous and in some cases libellous
claims that have been made on-line (some subsequently retracted)
about other bands. The worst offenders in the internet smear stakes
are a bunch of gutless clowns in Germany who have recently dubbed
the Oppressed, Britain's leading antifa band, "the new Skrewdriver."
FFS! No one is entirely sure who the person/people behind 'oirezene'
is/are because they choose to remain anonymous. Originally it
was thought that the ridiculous mud-slinging site was run by Stalinists,
but now we suspect that they may actually be Nazis themselves,
on a mission to divide the scene. Either way they are either idiots
or liars, or both. As far as we're concerned Nazis can fuck right
off, and take their fellow travellers with them; but anti-Nazis
need to get their facts right, and tone down the reverse McCarthy
stridency, or risk losing all credibility. That is all. Let no
more tedious politics blight this blog. It ain't the 1970s and
it's mighty long way from the 1930s. STOP PRESS the Leeds OAR
gig has been postponed due to legal complications involving another
band. Promoter Stevie Caldwell promises that it will be rescheduled
Oct 5. Today on Desert Oi-Land, no lesser satanic
entity than Dale Beeson – yeah, the Beast! The Gonads’ Assistant
Executive Manager (Legal) reveals his eight island song choices
as: I AM NOT A FOOL - Cockney Rejects, OUT THERE IN THE NIGHT
- The Only Ones, JINX - Peter and The Test-Tube Babies, RAZORS
IN THE NIGHT- Blitz, NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE -Kirk Brandon, JETZT
ERST RECHT- Stomper 98, BRITISH STEEL - The Gonads, and EMOTIONAL
BLACKMAIL - The UK Subs. And anyone who disagrees should feel
free to have a word with his enforcer, Vincent ‘Vinnie’ Riordan.
The Beast’s book choice is the indispensible Smith & Hepple on
Ecclesiastic Insurance Treaty Law. Film: Quadrophenia. TV show:
Bushell On The Box. Next on Desert Oi-Land: The Mighty Tripod
from the Uprisers! Followed swiftly by October’s instalment of
Punk Rock Book Club – honest!
Meanwhile, sticking to a horror theme, the Misfits are streaming
‘The Devil’s Rain’ – their first new album for more than a decade.
Oh, and Rancid’s Tim Armstrong has unveiled his latest project,
Tim Timebomb's Rock’n’ Roll Theatre - a made-for-the-web musical
theatre series which Rolling Stone mag describes as: "A cross
between Rocky Horror Picture Show and anthology TV series like
Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits, Rock’n’Roll Theatre will feature
half-hour episodes with Armstrong serving as the narrator a la
Twilight Zone's Rod Serling." The debut episode, called Dante,
features Lars Frederiksen and AFI's Davey Havok.
We are rehearsing full-on for Greater Hits Volume Two: The Mutt’s
Nuts. Asked how rehearsals were going, a spokeswoman for Nacho
Jase tells us: “It’s hardcore, man, it’s fucking in-tents.” (Nads
in-joke). We love Jase, but, says FB “if he keeps asking us to
play gigs that will leave the band hundreds of pounds out of pocket,
we may well have to hold him down and give him a dry slap.”
An email arrives from persons unknown suggesting that Sharron
Stiletto is writing her autobiography entitled ‘My Life As A Man’;
the attached ‘press release’ describes Shazza as “a rather masculine
inclined oestrogen-based entity” and includes the statement: ‘What’s
the best thing about shagging a trannie? When you reach round,
it feels like it’s gone all the way through’. How base. If this
email is a Fat Col hoax, we apologise without reservation to the
delightful Shazza. If not, we say as one: “For god’s sake, get
a grip mate.”
RANDOM news: The Riverboat Gamblers are working on a new album...the
Dropkicks are on Conan next week (which makes more sense if you’re
in the USA...and André Schlesinger is masterminding an ‘Oi Against
Racism’ compilation album, to be released on May Day 2012 and
which will include un-released Gonads’ Ska track ‘Mungo Jingo’...
also in the big world of stuff we deem worthy of being called
news, Phoenix City Records have just released a new digital album
from King Fatty called ‘Rocksteady Dynamite’, apparently “16 killer
cuts of 60's inspired organ instrumentals” PLUS Ya Bass’s ‘Back
A Yard Dub’ us ahht.
Oct 4. The first taster for Cass Pennant’s new documentary on
soccer casuals is up on YouTube here.
|Oct 3. We’ll be playing Leeds on
January 21st with Sham 69 and Splodge. It’s an Oi Against Racism
show – more details as and when.
The sizzling Skatonics (‘the ultimate 2-Tone experience’) played
a benefit gig in Bromley, Kent, on Saturday – to raise money for
the family of war hero Private Daniel Steven Prior of the 2nd
Battalion The Parachute Regiment.
Woody from Madness jumped up and joined in on drums (pictured)
– also in attendance: Arthur ‘Bilko’ Kay, full of talk about his
new Ska project the Skamadillos and boxer Julius Francis. The
event was also supported by various Ska luminaries and us – a
Gonads CD and Gal & Jeff Turner’s book ‘Cockney Reject’ were among
the raffle prizes. Private Prior, who was 27, was wounded by an
improvised explosive device and, despite medical care in Afghanistan
and in the UK, he died of his wounds on 18 March 2011 in the Royal
College of Defence Medicine Queen Elizabeth NHS Hospital, Birmingham.
Daniel leaves behind his wife, Emily, and their new born son,
Gal’s latest Rancid Sounds podcast will be up and running on
Total Rock Radio “this week”, we’re promised faithfully by Malcolm
Dome. The show features great songs from Marching Orders, NOi!se,
Booze & Glory, Jenny Woo, the Bermondsey Joyriders, Sanguine,
the Cockney Rejects, the Usual Players, Limozine, Forced Reality,
the sublime Gregory Isaacs, P45, Case, The Gonads, and an awful
lot of Monkish because Brad and Snelgers were the studio guests.
The new Total Rock studios in Poplar are lavish in comparison
to the station’s old Denmark Street eyrie, but they seem to consist
of a garden shed and a greenhouse inside of a warehouse which
Gal reckons is Talcy Malcy’s lock-up. Among the microwaves and
inflatable dolls there are such baffling objects as an antelope’s
head, an antique merkin and a Victorian coat-stand. Malcolm is
the Arfur Daley of rock and no mistake... Send CDs to Gal c/o
Total Rock Radio, 8-10 Rhoda Street, London, E2 7EF.
Many thanks to veteran Trojan skins Paul Pettitt and Brian Ska
Morgan who answered Gal’s facebook appeal for a copy of his vintage
Dance Craze magazine (from 1981); the mag, still in pristine condition,
was delivered to Nads HQ earlier today under lock and key. The
reasons why will become apparent later in the year...
Oct 2. Today the Desert Oi-Land hammock takes
a massive swing to the left, with the arrival of MFC’s own Tim
‘The Anarchist’ Scargill (far right in picture), AKA Tim V Man,
new front-man of The If, sometime singer with Sham 69 and full-time
Class War enthusiast.
Tim’s eight tracks are: SPACE JUNK-DEVO (“I first
heard this on the first album and at that time everything coming
out of the US was suspected. I thought DEVO had narrowly escaped
being accused of jumping on the band wagon - they had in effect
created something that was off the wall but in their own style.
I just loved the fact they had used the 50's happy home imagery
and the legendary Boogie Boy to full effect... not everyone’s
taste but I love it”.), PLASTIC GANGSTERS – The 4 SKINS (“Well
this band I have always believed were way under-rated for their
songs and style... this song was for me everything that typified
some guys who I had met in my life. I met some nut jobs as well
as having some as close friends but as they say those that boast
The song was as many of their songs at that time have power
and tell it as it is without shame and in this day and age say's
a lot.”), PRESSURE DROP - THE MAYTALS (“I first heard this song
when I managed to pick up a copy of the original MONKEY MAN album
in Brixton market and which was imported from Jamaica and then
I got the UK release which was FROM THE ROOTS which was on the
Trojan label. The song was for me more about its words and rhythm
and at a time when things were getting bleak and Gordon Honeycombe
was reading the news. I like a lot of Ska and roots at that time,
though at times I lost the plot as to what was what.”), STARMAN
- DAVID BOWIE (“Well I had to think long and hard about this one
as like most of my muso mates they always site Bowie as a big
influence... me I thought he was confused as most people did if
they are honest... but the music was awesome and gave most guys
the zip they wanted at that time. The song and Bowie was stylish
and most geezers loved that. But Starman was the song you could
always pull birds to and have a mooch to... especially down the
YOOOF Club.”), 007 SHANTY TOWN - DESMOND DEKKER (“Well I love
this song as it’s something that ooozes class in that genre of
music and being a fan of Desmond Dekker it fits right. Most Skins
I have met throughout the world with SHAM 69 are slowly getting
into early Blue Beat and Ska but more importantly into Roots as
well. A classic tune.”), HOW DOES IT FEEL – SLADE (“Blimey this
song even writing about it fill's me with happy memories, but
above all its emotional wallop. Yes when the the songs breaks
into the crunching rock riffs it sends something something in
my a definite air guitar job. But above all I remember going to
see Flame at the flicks and seeing them in their White suits I
thought ere ere whats this then... but they didnt let me down.
Slade for me was a huge influence on me musically and I only wish
that some bands would admit they were influenced by them and not
by living a tough lifestyle.”), HARDER THEY COME - JIMMY CLIFF
(“Another reggae classic and many people forget about the film
form which this came from. I have only got a CD copy of the soundtrack
now having lost my Vinyl copy in a exchange of venom with an ex...
this pride and joy whizzed past my ear as I was descending the
stairs as was my love for the girl. But for me the song as most
of Jimmy’s songs has poetry and charm and I think he writes for
most of us. It was my privilege to play a show with him when SHAM
played a festival in Latvia..a nice guy to know and watch.), WONT
GET FOOLED AGAIN - THE WHO (“Haha..well I left this one to last
as THE WHO are are m favourite bands and recalling a comment Gal
Bushell said to me that once he picked his favourites he changed
his mind...well with this I wouldn’t. Though its a long one it
for me does everything it builds you up and then propels you and
real feel good song. Having seen them several times live this
song with the lasers was incredible. If those of you reading this
have seen them live doing this song you know what I mean. On another
note having read the lyrics more intensely of late I couldn’t
think of a more apt song for me, Ian and Al and 90% of SHAM 69
Tim’s film is: THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE (“I love this
film and would again rate this in any list I picked. The film
which was directed by Tony Richardson and starring David Hemmings,
Trevor Howard amongst many was a real kick in the teeth for military
history. At a time when human life meant nothing to the powers
that be and officer-ship was judged by a price ticket. The film
portrays life as a officer and a foot soldier prior to the Crimea
war. I know at the time of its release that the govt depts were
a little uneasy with its factual expose. The films is unique as
well as during the film it has animation and that was an incredible
risk. The film for me stands the test of time and unfortunately
still reflects some of the alarming lack of support our troops
get fighting for this country.”). TV box-set: THE SWEENEY (“I
fucking love this series and always pace myself when watching
the set. I used to take it on the road when touring with SHAM
69 as it put me in good stead for the concert ahead. Not that
I wanted Dave or anyone to call me Guv... but for me it did something
else. The programme like that for many if their honest harks back
to a time when London was London and SOHO was SOHO. I don’t know
if it’s a case of sad ol git cant face the future but it for me
reflects happier times. When choosing this it was a close run
thing between this and TILL DEATH DO US PART. For me I think that
the PC world in which with live has become more of a stranglehold
on society than an aide, but also insulting to our intelligence.
The Sweeney was always denigrated for being over violent but for
fuck sake it was about takling serious crime and so it had to
be met like for like. I have heard in the last 2 weeks that they
are making a film of THE SWEENEY... well let’s hope!”). BOOK:
WHATS IT ALL ABOUT-MICHAEL CAINE: (“This is one guy who I respect
and love. He is one actor that can be rated as a part of the PRIDE
OF BRITAIN. I know many will say well he’s minted and a movie
star what’s he got in common with us. But I like reading biogs
as they show that it isnt just me whos fucked up and Michael’s
book tells the same. He hasn’t had it easy and despite being a
star fairly early the films that he was famous for he nearly never
got. The film most people know Zulu... was right up to the first
day of filming not he's it was only Stanley Baker who persisted
that he plays the part managed to see it through to the end. Like
me Michael was a South London boy he went up I went down... Anyway...
that’s my choice for Desert Oi-Land discs... and I want to know
why Gal has just sailed off in that boat???” Next on Desert Oi-Land:
Tim’s new band The IF stars Rick Buckler (ex Jam) on drums,
Tim V Man on vocals, Tony Feedback (ex Gonads, ex Upstarts) on
guitar, Ian Whitewood (ex-Sham) also on drums, and bassist Al
Campbell (ex UK Subs). You can catch The If live on October 20th
at the Walthamstow Royal Standard before they head off on tour;
support: Wide Boy Generation.
Oct 1st. Our Big Punk Xmas Party is confirmed, at the 12 Bar
club in London’s Denmark Street on Friday 2nd December. We’ll
be playing with The Rivalries & Shakey’s Brother plus more bands
to be confirmed. Expect the return of the Franken-Skin, the rise
of the Zombie Skins and much more. Meanwhile – and this is bizarre
but absolutely true – we have been approached by a TV production
company about starring in a reality show featuring us and what
they (patronisingly) describe as “all the crazy characters associated
with your band.” Crazy characters? Bloody cheek! Are they perchance
referring to such fine and upstanding citizens as Fat Col Gannon,
Wattsie Watts, Harvey Gardens, FB, Bevvy Blow-job, Allyson Maverick,
Batty, Scrotum, Fit-Bird, The Beast, The Nosher, the PM, Big Dave
Williams, the Charlton Boys, Clyde Ward, Effete El, the Yeti,
Sid the Lip, André ‘Maninblack’ Schlesinger, Sandy Lane and Charlton
Tel’s “old firm”? Or do they mean the wider Gonadian periphery
of Si Spanner, Jenny Torrid, Angel Sinclair, Ronnie Rouman, Cucumber
Kate, Gal Johnson, Leah McCaffrey, the Mighty Tripod and the rest
of the Gonads USA? Perhaps even Sharron Stiletto (nee Slutt),
Chelsea Dom, Little Dave, Dolly Burns, John ‘The Veggie’ King,
Kiria, Cass, the Jolly Pranksters and Jennie Bellestar! With such
a stellar cast it would be, as even Ally Ross would testify, one
helluva series - ‘Laid In Charlton’ maybe, ‘Bell-Enders’ or ‘The
Only Way Is Nads Sex’. Why, the band might even deign to drag
themselves out of bed before teatime to be in such a show. Negotiations
continue but unfortunately, for now, Waistrel has stepped in to
decline, saying that “to allow cameras into our world would be
like letting the sunshine in on magic”. Gal concurs adding sagely
“Benny Hill, my guru, once told me never to appear on TV unless
and until you can control the edit, and I think that he was right.
We’re flattered to be asked but this show is not going to happen
unless our own company, Soitainly Productions, are making it.”
Today on Desert Oi-Land, author, Shogun
merch maestro and 2000 Tons Of TNT promoter Max G. Morton.
|Max’s discs are:
Out On A Island – Cock Sparrer ("We would start with the opening
scene montage, where I'm basking in the joys of tropical solitary
confinement. See me climbing trees, cracking open and eating many
coconuts, surfing a makeshift board and communicating with the animals.
So far, life is good out on an island...”); New Age – Blitz (“this
will play every morning, because every island-slash-apocalypse junkyard
needs a national anthem”), Indestructible Wolves – The Gonads (“will
play after dark because any man-slash-wolf needs a theme song to
get through the night”), A Place In The Sun - David Isaacs (“will
be played while things are still peaceful on the island, before
pre-war negotiations with my worst enemy (myself) begin”), Veteran
Of The Psychic Wars - Blue Oyster Cult (“will play when the hallucinations
start to take hold from digesting some mysterious vine”), Gabriel
- Laughing Hyenas (“will be saved for when the horns
kick in, memory floods and my aura turns black. The flies will
start swarming and the vultures won't be far behind. Soon the
Wolves will close in”), Gang Warfare - Forced Reality (“the perfect
fighting anthem done nastier than the Strike. I may be alone on
an island, but the energy of my brothers will be conjured as total
war erupts”), Life Of My Own - Cro-Mags (“blares post double-vision
quest. The jam is so powerful, all enemies are now beheaded and
receding on wooden steaks. It all becomes clear and the aftermath
that is the Apocalypse Junkyard”), There There My Dear - Dexys
Midnight Runners (“the logical choice for a feverish close to
an uphill revolutionary battle that forever bleeds youth and rage”),
Speedway – Morrissey (“would play throughout the closing credits-slash
highlight real of everything prior to being out on an island...”)
Max’s book would be Journey To The End Of The Night by Louis-Ferdinand
Céline (“the ultimate book to take with you and a one way ticket
to the unknown”). Film: Over The Edge (1979) “Claude Zachary and
Richie White are the only friends you will ever need”. TV box-set:
Friday Night Lights: The Complete Series “to supply the ultimate
concoction of emotions.” Max’s latest book, Live...Suburbia!,
co-authored with Anthony Pappalardo is out NOW! Next on Desert
Oi-Land: the scariest member of Team Gonad. And if The Beast can’t
do it, we’re sure Franken-Skin will step in!
How about this for a crowd!?! Gal wows a merry throng of pan-European
punters during his hush-hush low-key debut continental gig as
Garry Bushell Solo (picture by JT; set-list: ‘Oi Mate’, ‘Half
Past Three & Nine Pence’, ‘South London Aggro Girl’, ‘Fat Cat
Splat’, ‘Karl Marx Supported Millwall’ and ‘Corruptus Interruptus’).
Pukka Gonads shows are expected to follow in France and Germany
next April, and then Italy and Spain – just as soon as the promoters
get their fingers ahht. Gal arrived back yesterday just in time
to record his latest pod-cast with Bradders and Snelgers from
Monkish. We’ll let you know when it’s up.
as anyone seen Fat Col? He was last seen
at the Porthcawl Elvis Festival with the Penarth Pranksters last
weekend. It’s not that we’re worried, it’s just that Janette is
excited because she’s convinced that she’s still in the will.
Random news: coming out on 11/11/11 - Oi! THIS
IS STREETPUNK a compilation of eleven songs from eleven bands
on 11” vinyl. The bands are: NOi!SE, the OLD FIRM CASUALS, the
HARRINGTON SAINTS, SYDNEY DUCKS, LOWER CLASS BRATS, CONTROL, BOOZE
& GLORY, 45 ADAPTERS, MARCHING ORDERS, the YOUNG OFFENDERS, and
KNUCKLEHEAD (Pirates Press)... Jennie Matthias launches 1-STOP-EXPERIENCE’s
debut album on October 30th at Under Solo in Inverness Street,
Camden with the Dig It Sound System and DJ Bosher.
André Schlesinger’s synth-oi side-project can
be heard supplying background music for a NYC Fashion Week show here.
Tune back mid-week for Punk Rock Book Club...