Oct 20th. This blog is now closed until further notice. Please
address complaints to anyone who gives a fuck. Yours charmlessly
Fat Col ‘Charlton till I die’ Gannon.
*NOW available: The Gonads ‘Glorious Bastards’ 18-track CD (£10+
p&p), the last five copies of the classic ‘Live Free, Die Free’
CD (also a cockle), Gonads Back & Barking t-shirts and ‘Hoolies’
Gal’s ultimate guide to British youth cults – all on sale now
from shop page on this site. Hoolies covers skins, punks, Casual,
Glory Boys, Mods, anarcho-punks and the rest. It has been called
as “the best book on youth cults ever written” by Garry Johnson
and “the definitive book on Youth culture” by Watford Jon. Deliveries
guaranteed by mid-November.
* The Cockney Rejects documentary film East End Babylon is coming
on apace, with more than 80 hours of footage in the can. The doc
will tell the story of the band and also chart the sad decline
of the old East End.
*Advance notice if you live in the Notts area; our old mates
Cass Pennant and Carlton Leach are starring in an Evening With
show at the Home Lounge Bar on 19th November. Tickets here.
* Don’t forget to watch Never Mind The Buzzcocks this series
– there will be a couple of BIG surprises in the spot-the-star
Oct 19. Furious members of apolitical charity FONG last year
rallied to defend the “good name” of the Gravesend Goosesteppers.
“It is disturbing that a band can be stigmatized simply for exercising
their freedom of speech in a totally traditional English way,”
said spokesman Ron Ribbentrop of the Chingford Ku Klux Klan. “They
are artists whose songs will last for a thousand years.” FONG
(the Friends of Nick Griffin) has pledged to turn out in force
at all future Goosesteppers gigs. “It’s no hardship,” said Ron.
“We’re there anyway.” However all future shows will also be picketed
by POOF, the Peoples’ Organisation Opposing Fascism. “The working
class cannot tolerate a resurgence of Nazism in any form,” said
spokesman Tarquin Che Downton-Abbey, a leading anti-fascist who
spent ten years in postgraduate research dedicated to detecting
institutional racism in road traffic signs, service station cutlery
and board-games. Speaking from his family estate in Hampstead,
Tarquin, known as Red Tarko, went on: “The common folk must unite
against the Goosesteppers, their very existence is a threat to
everything that made Britain great, such as travelling communities,
squatters, EU membership and widespread immigration from Somalia.”
The growing row has even had an impact in Germany, where the all-powerful
Grey-Watch website is offering 24 hour rolling coverage. Herr
Josef Stasi-Smallhausen of OCT – the Organisation for Correct
Thinking – said “Clearly anyone who isn’t an active Marxist, or
a non-white transgender vegan is automatically suspect.” What
any of this has to do with us is anyone’s guess.
Oct 18. The Gonads Greater Hits Volume One album will now be
officially available from January 11th 2011, with a launch party
later that month. Global tour dates to follow.
*Some rascal has played a cruel joke on Mick Maverick, sending
our rock-hard bass ace a message purportedly from Kiria’s management
telling him that the beauty wants him to be washed and taken to
her dressing room after her album launch on Thursday. A stunned
Mick’s only comment was “Fuck” to which FB replied “You will be.”
Allyson Maverick’s thoughts on the matter have not yet been recorded.
* Self-styled apolitical band the Gravesend Goosesteppers yesterday
denied that they were associated with the far-Right. Singer Laurence
Hilter tells us “It’s all an unfortunate coincidence. We took
our name from watching a beautiful flock of geese emerge from
a pond on an idyllic Kentish farm. There’s nothing dodgy about
that. Why must people try and read political innuendo into it?
It makes me spit. OK, it’s true that we released an album on a
label run by the well-known Irish extremist Mush O’Lini, but that
was a complete accident.” Asked about the worrying runes on the
album sleeve, Laurence said “We thought they were from Led Zeppelin
IV.” And the large picture of Hitler on the disc itself? “Isn’t
that Charlie Chaplin?” Asked why the band agreed to play an ultra-rightwing
rally in Scandinavia, he explained “It only happened because our
tour manager Herr Otto Flick can’t speak Swedish and the promoter
told him the big event would be a load of jolly old herberts having
a laugh.” Tousle-haired cheeky-chappie Laurence then insisted
that he was “just a normal geezer, my life” and begged the watching
punk world to “give us a second chance” and “don’t judge a book
by its cover” adding “If this rumour gets out I’ll lose my job
as a Guardian editorial writer.” The Goosesteppers’ new album,
Tamara Belongs To Me, is released next year on April 20th on the
Seagull label. Entirely innocent tracks include: ‘My Old Man’s
A Brown Shirt’, ‘Knees Up Eva Braun’, ‘I’m Forever Blowing Goebbels’,
‘If You Vant To Know The Time Ask The Gestapo (Or We’ll Shoot
You)’, ‘Wish Me Luck As You Wave Me Sieg Heil’, ’50 Ways To Lose
Your Fuehrer’ and ‘One State, One People, One Apolitical Lead
Singer’. Their world tour begins in Austria, followed by the Czech
Republic, Poland, Belgium, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, France,
Denmark and Norway before entering Russia in June and conking
out somewhere on the outskirts of Volgograd (formerly known as
Stalingrad). Band spokesman Siegfried Line said that English dates
were extremely unlikely. Please note: the story above is work
of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone alive, dead or worryingly
naive is entirely coincidental.
Oct 17. Bad news for East End Badoes fans (Sid and Doris Poplar).
Word on the streets, man, is that Tel Hayes has broken up the
band – he just hasn’t told the others yet. We confidently expect
two rival versions of the Badoes to emerge next year.
Oct 16. Curvy Gonadette dancer (and actress/model) Angelica
Fenny certainly made an impression on Friday night. We were contacted
yesterday by a porn baron who happened to be in the audience and
wants our girl to star in one of his filthy flicks. We’re
shocked. There is no way a Gonadette could be involved in something
so degrading. Well, not unless she passes our own intensive ‘baby
oil’ test first.
* The lovely Kiria tells us she is smitten with our sterling
bass ace Mick Maverick. Must be his well-hung Gonads backdrop...
The new Maximumrocknroll is out now featuring an Irish scene
report, plus interviews with Blake Schwarzenbach's the Forgetters,
Acephalix, Hank IV and more.
Heavy news: A man was allegedly beaten to death in Washington
DC on Friday after an Agnostic Front show at the DC9 Nightclub.
He is said to have thrown a brick through the club's front window,
club employees then chased him down the block and inflicted a
fatal pasting. Five men have been arrested. Our man in Washington
tells us the tragic incident had nothing to do with Agnostic Front
and everything to do with the guy failing to get served after-hours.
Oct 15. Oh what a night! The Garage gig was a sensation with
the Cockney Rejects on top form, a fine opening slot from Long
Tall Shorty and a 45 minute Gonads set which witnessed the coming
of the Frankenskin, with his carers – catwalk model Harriet and
the 36HH model/actress and dancer Angelica. Herberts in attendance
included Cass Pennant, Kiria, Frankie ‘Boy’ Flame, Big Badoe Dom,
Kidder, Monti, Vanessa from the Misogynes, Gary Scott from the
Emerald Dogs and ravishing Wattsie Watts who dubbed it “the gig
of the year.” Allyson Maverick organised a fearsome fifteen-strong
away firm from Milton Keynes. There were probably more faces in
too, but we’re still too hypnotised by the vision of beauty that
is six foot brunette Harriet to recall them. Even Tony Feedback
reckoned “that girl could turn Julian Clary straight”. Thanks
to Dave for handling the merch, to FB for his sterling services,
to our security consultant Gary ‘ICF’ Thompson, and Kev The Hammer
for having the vision to make it all happen. Apologies for absence
were received from the Beast, Steve Whale and the Charlton Boys
– sadly the entire barmy Gonads Army were laid low by Chris Weeks’s
wisdom tooth. Onwards and upwards, oh our brothers and only friends,
onwards and upwards.
Tonight’s set list: Punk Rock Till I Die, The Growler, Alconaut,
Franken-Skin, Grant Mitchell, Gob, Oi Mate, British Steel, SE7
Dole Day, Big Balls, I Lost My Love To A UK Subs, Tattooed Love
Girl and Tuckers. PS. The WM was said to be in the audience but
he came incognito. According to one source he has “grown his hair
like a girlie”. But rumours that Tel has “gorn transvestite” were
angrily denied by the barman in his local Essex pub, The Cock
Oct 14. Vive Le Rock launched tonight at Horatio’s, North London,
attracting a host of rock ’n’ roll personalities and Garrie Lammin.
The Grit were due to play but pulled out after breaking two guitar
strings (Amateurs – FB). This excellent new mag from Big Cheese
guru Eugene Butcher is addicted to punk, new wave, glam, garage,
mod, and all rock’n’roll bad boys. Issue one, devoted to the Ramones
and their remains, is out now and is available from WH Smiths
and all major newsagents. You can order it on line here.
Oct 13. This new ITV2 show The Only Way Is Essex is shocking
– where is the WM? Surely El Tel is Essex Man personified? He’s
even got the vajazzle. Trivia fans might care to note that the
Wright family are related to the Murphys who used to run the Bridgehouse
in Canning Town. Mark’s unseen dad Jason is Glen Murphy’s cousin,
a car dealer who once dated Page 3 stunner Maria Whittaker. (Continued
Oct 12. OK, slight change of plans, old fruits, the Friday gig
is now ending at 11pm so the show times have changed. It’s doors:
7.00PM. 7:45 – 8:15pm Shorty; 8.30 – 9.15: Us; 9.45 – 11pm The
Oct 11. Friday’s gig with the Rejects is an early start because
the Garage closes at 10pm. We’ll be on at about 7.45pm for a 45
minute set. The Franken-Skin will be joining us in style. Please
Note: First Wave are no longer the opening act; Long Tall Shorty
are! (What? No Postmen? – The ghost of John Peel)
* Our pal Nina-C has teamed up with Steve ‘The Baron’ Gill,
both pictured below, to record a charity single for injured British
veterans. Nina’s great reggae track, Let’s Rock, is released on
November 15th. It needs just 15,000 downloads to chart and profits
will be split between BLESMA (British Limbless Ex Service Men's
Association) and Help For Heroes. Hear it here.
Let’s have it!
10/10/10. It’s the luckiest day in the calendar – unless you’re
Gal and the Heavy Metal Kids. Blame gremlins, the taste police
or the ghost of Gary Holton, but we’re told that after the first
minute all of the sound on the podcast they recorded on Friday
“becomes completely garbled and unintelligible” (pretty much like
Gal after eighteen pints of Stella and a vindaloo.) See this is
what happens when you hire Mr Tickle from the 12 Bar as an engineer.
To spare the old boys’ blushes we’ll just change the subject and
ask the lovely Mrs Tickle this vital question: clowns, are they
To add insult to injury, Southend Waterstones has now cancelled
the book signing session for Gal’s Bushell On The Rampage book
of memoirs. The store had initially agreed to stage the event,
but it seems they were worried that the session might attract
former Mods, skinheads, punks, Glory Boys and other "unsavory"
characters who don’t read the Guardian. We’re told that Mr Courtney's
appearance at the Bromley shop along with a few faces from various
terraces and punk bands, was the catalyst. They obviously don’t
want real people upsetting any genteel literary types. They don’t
mind taking our money though... Acting as Mr Bushell’s literary
agent, a furious Garry Johnson has now cancelled all future Waterstones
signing sessions for the book.
.*Our nefarious New York associate André Schlesinger has composed
a spooky trailer for Comet Press’s new book Deadcore
– featuring four new and terrifying zombie novellas. Gal’s
own gripping tale of zombie skinheads, called Brutal Assault,
features in the Comet horror collection, Deadlines. He is currently
working on a graphic novel about the Franken-Skin.
Oct 8. Gal recorded his latest podcast with the legendary Heavy
Metal Kids today. The lads, now including Nasty Nick Cotton star
John Altman, were in plugging their ace new single, Uncontrollable
– inspired, Gal claimed, by his bladder - and their impending
UK tour. Somehow John, Cosmo, Keith Boyce and Justin McConville
squeezed into the deluxe studio, said by Gal to be “no bigger
than a fat bird’s coffin.” The resulting show was a riot of indiscretions,
most of which will have to be censored before the pod is made
available. Even Batttttty got a mention. Later the party reconvened
at the 12 Bar Club where in time-honoured fashion other characters
were drawn to their magnetic personalities like flies to a fresh
turd, including Bev Elliott and Barnet Mark (but of course), veteran
DJ Dave Cash, passing PR Zoie Wainwright (we’re pretty sure donkeys
only evolved so that Zoie could talk their hind legs off) and
Tommy Tickle, the psychotic clown featured on BBC2’s Clowns documentary
who now runs the 12 Bar caff, with his lovely wife. Apparently
their wedding night was virgin on the ridiculous. Anyway the podcast
also featured Redtrack, Deadline, First Wave, The Big, The Black
Angels and many more – but not the Badoes because the studio system
refused to play it. Tsk. Everyone’s a critic. We’ll let you know
when it’s up.
Oct 7. Our mates Argy Bargy are off to Germany on Saturday to
play Diana Schuler’s Black Forest venue, which we like to think
of as the House of Pain. The lads are keeping busy. They’ve recorded
a song called ‘Thirty Years’ for the new Oi comp, and two tracks
for a split single with the mighty T.H.U.G. from Down Under (Kingy
from Rose Tattoo is their bassist). Argy are back in the studio
next month too to record songs for a split album with the magnificent
Stomper 98. BTW we hear that Diana owns a trout farm. No tackle
jokes by request. And don’t remind us of the time Fat Col went
fishing with a dyslexic angler who caught a crap.
*Can this be true? Gal and Nick Welsh are rumoured to be writing
a single for Barbara Windsor...
* Me First & The Gimme Gimmes have been in the studio recording
a cover of an INXS song.
* Calling all skins! The Big40 Events in association with BigShot
sound system proudly present the second skinhead uprising – next
May in Taff Land. Where? Dempsey's, 15 Castle Street, Cardiff,
Wales, Look You, United Kingdom. When? Saturday, May 28, 2011
and Sunday, May 29, 2011. How much? Tickets £6.00 in advance only.
Details to follow.
Oct 5. Random news compiled by Sandra: Rancid have posted a
new video for their 2000 song ‘I Am Forever’ on youtube - here.
Killjoy bastards working for Johnny Marr have scuppered Harry
Hill’s plans to spoof Smiths songs on his new comedy album, Funny
Times. Shame. We like Harry, although heaven knows he’s miserable
Oct 4. FB has resurfaced after his mysterious absence with an
explanation that we should all have seen coming. It seems that
our trusty Associate Comrade Manager hasn’t been AWOL at all;
he has merely been on a covert mission authorised by Lord Waistrel
himself – a mission that has seen the great man travelling throughout
Eastern Europe, and even meeting one promoter (vulgar Olga) in
the shadow of the Kremlin. You’ll understand more when next year’s
tour dates are officially announced. We are relieved but also
slightly miffed that Waistrel didn’t bother letting any of us
know. Bloody aristos! FB’s return means that Chris Weeks can stand
down as tour manager; but Chris remains as Nads stand-by tour
manager and security co-ordinator.
Six signs your associate manager is secretly working with the
KGB: 6) You ask where he’s been for the last three weeks and he
mutters: “That’s classified information, dude.” 5) He tries to
pay the band’s bar bill with roubles. 4) During sound-check, he
leans into the bass bin and whispers: “Red sky in Bournemouth...
do you copy, Comrade?” 3) You catch him in the 12 Bar sharing
a bottle of vodka with Paul Hallam 2) Your new drum tech is the
embalmed corpse of V.I. Lenin 1) The Beast is suddenly admitted
to hospital suffering from acute polonium poisoning (with apologies
Oct 2. Gal finished the signing sessions for his Bushell On
The Rampage book in Wigan today. He’s asked us to pass on his
thanks to all the ex-skins, punks and Nads fans who brightened
up the journey, not least Mad Girl Allie who bought him a fine
Wigan pie, Dave from the flute band, and Tommy from Wales. Former
Sounds punk writer Jai Hadgraft turned up at the Manchester signing
and reminded Gal of the time he was stalked by a Northern punkette
cruelly nicknamed “Megan the Man”. Apparently Megan ended up going
man-on-man with one of the Steves from the Business. Mr. Whale
denies it was him and claims it was Steve Kent. Jai, who was there,
begs to differ...
Anyway if you missed the signings you can get a signed copy from
the Gonads shop. We’d also recommend Gal’s book Hoolies which
according to Garry Johnson is “the best book on youth cults ever
written.” To all who asked, yes we will play Wigan – just ask
a promoter to get in touch.
*And while we’re talking great works of punk literature, Dewar
MacLeod’s Kids Of The Black Hole has just come out. Subtitled
‘Punk Rock In Post-suburban California’, it tells the story of
how the L.A. scene half-inched ideas from London and New York
to become a distinct and inspirational subculture in its own right.
It’s published by the University Of Oklahoma Press for about £13.
* André Schlesinger, ex of New York’s pioneering Oi band The
Press, tells us he is now beginning post production on the vinyl
release of The Complete Press, a cooperative effort between Contra
and Insurgence. It will come with a pull-out newspaper which will
include interviews, stories, pictures and hopefully a brand new
Garry Johnson poem.
Oct 1st. Given FB’s mysterious on-going disappearance, mighty
Mick Maverick yesterday appointed Chris ‘The Dust’ Weeks as our
new acting tour manager. Ex-squaddie Chris will mastermind band
transportation and gig security for the foreseeable future until
FB is found. Gal tells us: “We are very concerned about FB, it’s
not like him. Wherever he is and whatever his problems, we stand
by him. But at the same time, the Nads must march on and as January
Jones is not available we are very pleased to welcome Charlton
top boy Chris Weeks to the helm.” All gig enquiries should now
be made direct to firstname.lastname@example.org.