Nov 30. Brilliant artist Joe Wise has rustled up a punk-tastic
cover design for our new album, The Gonads Greater Hits Vol 1
– all we’ll say is “Eddie eat yer heart out!” Terence Hayes WM
came round for an exclusive play-back of the tracks at the weekend
and was “bowled over” by them”. Tel went on: “This moves the Gonads
into another league. Don’t wear socks when you listen to this
album because it will blow them clean off.”
Our mate Nina C’s single ‘Let’s Rock’ is out NOW! Have a listen
on YouTube and please buy here.
All profits will go to BLESMA and Help4Heroes. 30,000 sales will
put it into the Top Ten. Come on!
Gal continues to reach out in the spirit of punk camaraderie
to Mark P, reminding the great ATV frontman of his 1977 quote
in ZigZag: "I stand by what Zappa said. The worst audience is
one that mildly claps and shows nothing each way. I'd have to
walk off then. If they boo it's the same as a cheer... they're
listening and feeling." Gal says: “I listened to your solo stuff
Mark, and I felt, mate, honestly I did. I felt sick mostly, but
I felt. ATV were blinding, though.”
*This year’s punk rock panto is at the 100 Club on 29th December,
starring Eddie Tudorpole, the Members and more.
Nov 27. Thursday’s big 100 Club benefit gig was a mega-success,
but good as the bands were it was our own Wattsie Watts who was
the talking point of the night. Looking like a cross between Paloma
Faith and Bonnie Parker from Bonnie & Clyde, La belle Watts breezed
through the crowd in long gloves and matching beret turning heads
left right and centre. When Chas Hodges came off stage he made
a beeline for her to kiss her hand, while Roddy Radiation sent
his manager over with a card saying “Any time you want to see
the Specials...” (Yeah, that old chestnut!) She tells us: “Gloves
must do something to a bloke cos three separate strangers came
up and kissed my hand.” Rumours that Prince William saw the pictures
and had second thoughts about Kate can’t be confirmed. We even
had a little Barclay’s over them ourselves. Tsk. And to think
all she ever wore for us were Marigolds.
*Gal’s invitation to Sniffin Glue pioneer Mark Perry to join
him on his next podcast has not been well received. Apparently
Gal gave the ATV front-man a rather unkind review for his solo
work back in the Sounds days. A ‘disgrace to Deptford’ were his
exact words – and thirty years on they still sting. Although as
Kev the Hammer observed, “Be fair, Mark, it was pretty shite.”
Gal, who never remembers who he slags off from one week to the
next, protests that “I loved ATV though.” Nonetheless we’re assured
by Fit Bird that the new Rancid Sounds will be up before Xmas
followed early in the New Year by a reprise of Puke Box Jury featuring
Max Splodge and Bev Elliott.
RIP Throbbing Gristle’s Peter ‘Sleazy’ Christopherson who died
at home in Bangkok, Thailand on Wednesday.
Advance notice: Viva Las Vegas play the exotic Charlton Conservative
Club next February. Barnet has agreed to learn ‘Into The Valley’
as a sop to the Charlton Boys who will be there in force. Please
note: in SE7, blue is not the colour.
Nov 26. Fat Col has received death threats since threatening
to organise a pro-fox hunting benefit concert. But the defiant
ginger gut-bucket simply says: “Good. Bring it on. Punk is supposed
to challenge the establishment and PC thinking is the new orthodoxy.”
His future gigs will, he says, include one for PETA (that’s People
For The Edible Treatment of Animals), Stuff The Taleban (with
bacon), Stop Global Whining, and Hurrah For The Royal Wedding.
He’ll be getting t-shirts done next: What would Bernard Manning
*The great Vince Riordan turned up on the Buzzcocks last night!
He was described as “working for the government” in a secret location
and looked like that meant breaking rocks on Dartmoor. Even more
surprisingly the other four people in the line-up are the new
Badoes (gag!) No Vinnie looked great. The early clip of the Rejects
was terrific. Keep watching cos there is one more big surprise
for lovers of early brickwall punk to come...
* Kiria’s fetish club gig is on for Saturday week. She just rang
us up saying “I need a giant penis.” We’ve given her a number
for Brian Cowen.
Nov 25. More details of Tuesday night are coming to light. Dave
Courtney turned up driving a souped-up hearse and teased Manic
Esso with fat jibes for most of the night, demanding “cuddles!”
Manic responded by branding the infamous sleb gangster “camper
than I am.” A world class wind-up merchant, Manic even unsettled
Lars who’d kindly offered him some chocolate orange at the end.
The beefy ex-Lurker snapped: “Why are you offering me that? Is
it because I’m fat? Who are you anyway? What do you do?” It was
like the “You think I’m funny?” moment in Goodfellas. The riotous
evening saw Animal exposed as “a tightwad” by his Anti-Nowhere
League members (who then left without paying for their own beer),
aging juveniles Gal and the WM berating Eugene for the “tiny type
face” used in Vive Le Rock, and Buster refusing to leave the pub
until way after closing time when he was finally lured out with
the promise of more booze. The drunken fool then ordered beer
for everyone (even the non-drinkers) just as we were all leaving
the curry-house. Gal, who was “legless enough to be on Coppers”
was subsequently seen staggering down the High Street with three
huge open bottles of Bangla in his jacket pockets. The WM had
to steer him home. His feeble excuse for getting as pissed as
a hundred sailors? “The pub ran out of Abbot Ale so I switched
to Stella.” Oh and DC’s dodgy party turned out to involve footballers
and female porn stars, which is all that needs to be said. Lars
has now flown home. Can you blame him?
An emergency meeting of the punk rock curry club has now ‘blacklisted’
the Indian for taking too long to serve the food. Attempts by
Messrs Wyeth and Esso to relocate the club to West London have
been immediately over-ruled.
* We’ve been asked to mention that the West Yorkshire Hunt Sabs
Ball Fundraising Gig is on Saturday – an all-dayer for £4 at the
Gasworks, Bradford, with bands playing from 3pm to midnight. Headliners:
the Sewer Suckers. Food: ‘a veggie cake stall’ (!) Unfortunately
this event has been condemned as “a fuckin’ crustie circus” and
“dip-shit drippy hippy bollo” by an enraged Fat Col who says he
is going to organise a pro-fox hunting event to help “eradicate
vermin”. Any bands who wish to join his cause should contact Mr
Gannon immediately. The Beast sabotaged a hunt once. He got up
early and shot the fox.
Xmas Book Sale! Gal’s big Christmas book sale is now on! Special
offers include: Hoolies (“the definitive guide to UK youth cults”
- £8.99 including UK p&p), his memoirs Bushell On The Rampage
for just £13.60 (incl UK p&p), The World According To Garry Bushell
- £8 (plus p&p), 1001 Reasons Why EastEnders Is ‘Pony’ - £6 (plus
p&p), and pulp fiction crime novels The Face and Two-Faced at
a special price of £5 each (plus p&p). All direct from here.
Get in quick while stock lasts!
Nov 24. Where to begin? Great night last night. We only wish
we could remember all of it. Long story short, after the OOC meeting
the Committee and the North West Kent Pranksters threw together
a magnificent ruby in honour of a visiting Lars Frederiksen. In
attendance were Gal, Steve Whale, Millwall Roi, the WM, a very
thirsty Buster Blooodvessel, Animal plus two other Anti-Nowhere
League stalwarts, John King, Mark Wyeth (Symarip), David Courtney,
Robin Guy, Eugene Butcher (Viva La Rock), Manic Esso (GLM, ex
Lurkers, ex Gonads), and half a dozen others whose names have
evaporated into the ether. So what can we tell you? Well, Lars
has spent the last two days tattooing in Chapel Market, JK’s veggie
nonsense, sorry, novel is still unfinished, DC invited us somewhere
dodgy, the WM’s new recordings are said to be “a wizard wheeze”
and poor old Roi is wrestling with Bell’s Palsy, but apart from
that...nothing. Sorry. It may take some days for our brain cells
to recover. Apologies for absence were received from Stinky Turner
(babysitting), Oxo Tom (at an awards do) and Fatty Lol (on Kent
*Don’t miss Buzzcocks tomorrow night, they said cryptically...
Nov 23. The WM made a surprise visit to Oi HQ last night. Even
more surprising was his magnificent, majestic mane of grey hair.
Terry is currently sporting the type of long, flowing locks usually
seen on a Cavalier, a renaissance poet or a unicorn. This has
sparked rumours that he may be forming a new ‘wrock’ (Harry Potter-inspired
wizard rock) band. Tel would not be drawn on the subject. He did
however mention something about maybe going back to the old Badoes
line-up after all but we can’t tell you more because unfortunately
at that point we dropped off.
Nov 22. The Specials have lined up a big old European tour for
2011. It kicks off in Amsterdam (Paradiso) on 15th September and
ends at Ally Pally on 3rd November. The 2-Tone troopers will do
13 UK dates including Coventry, Hull, Bournemouth, Glasgow, Cardiff
and Wolverhampton (possibly in honour of Neville whose own hampton
generally features enthusiastically in the after-show r&r).
Tickets go on sale on Friday week (3rd December) at 9am.
Gonads interview up on the net, here.
Nov 21. Random stuff: the Cockney Rejects are back in the studio
next month working on their new album... Gal has written two new
songs ‘Devil Skin’ and ‘Die Heroes’ said to be “belters” by Sandy
Lane...the Oi Organising Committee meeting is on for Tuesday...
The Agitators play the Maiden’s Head, Canterbury tonight. Entrance
Nov 20. Allies of the old Badoes are attempting to rally against
the new line-up recruited by the WM. One embittered South London
punk veteran tells us “Mr. Hayes has gone round the Oliver Twist.
All this talk of a ‘Stockbroker Belt influence’ are wide of the
mark. He has conveniently forgotten his own affluence (and flatulence)
as he sits around his suburban Essex chateau sipping fine red
wine, watching old episodes of Only Fools And Horses, breaking
wind and scheming take-overs. So much for birds of a feather.”
The source goes on: “Terry Hayes is the Fagin of Oi with a bit
of Mary Poppins’s gor-blimey chimney sweep thrown in. He only
had so many kids cos he was planning to send ’em all up the chimneys
of East London – a scheme that failed to pay off as he seems to
have forgotten that most normal people have moved on to gas or
electricity. By the sound of it his so-called ‘new Cockney Badoes’
will consist of soap-dodging street urchins, Chas & Dave’s roadie,
a redundant coalman, a bewildered Pearly King and the school dinner
lady.” Strong stuff indeed. But is it too little too late? We
hear that the Jolly Pranksters have already booked the new Badoes
for next month’s Festivus – and there is no higher honour. We
can also reveal that Tel has just become a Prior in the Knights
Of Avalon, a secretive organisation open only to Pranksters who
have painstakingly attained the fourth degree of enlightenment
(most Pranksters never progress beyond the third). This we are
told will link the WM to a “higher power” whose teachings go back
to the founding fathers of the movement. What larks! Memo to the
Badoes (whatever line-up): there are only 762 days until the Mayan
calendar ends, do try and get that debut album finished before
the apocalypse. It only took you thirty bleedin’ years to record
a debut ep.
Nov 18. A belated happy birthday to punk goddess Bev Elliott.
A great friend of the band and Gal’s very own tattoo twin, Bevvy
celebrated her 51st in Brighton this week with Captain Sensible,
Charlie Harper and their Japanese wives (wot? no Peter Test-tube?).
Good luck at hospital today, darlin’.
Rancid have started recording live weekly video sessions called
Rancid: Live From The Living Room. They’ll be posting a new vid
with no overdubs or studio touch-ups every Monday. Wrongful Suspicions
is already up on YouTube. Other acoustic and electric renditions
of Rancid classics will follow, along with the occasional tasty
The new twelve song Evil Conduct album is out on Randale at the
end of this month. A limited edition 100 copies will be pressed
on red vinyl.
Nads ad: For sale. Wedding dress, worn once by mistake. Contact
Janette Gannon, West Kent Divorcee Club.
Nov 18. John Sinclair, founder of the revolutionary White Panthers
and one-time manager of the MC5, is recording a new album with
the Bermondsey Joyriders. Proof if any were needed that marijuana
mangles the mind, sniffs an unkind passer-by. Speaking from Bermondsey,
Mr. Sinclair, 69, told us: “Who am I? Where’s my dinner? Has anyone
*Nads ad: Lost! The Beast. Last seen in Pat Collier’s recording
studio making a 90 second personal appearance in September. If
found, please do not feed, pet or sign deal with.
*Batman’s latest enemy is a dyed-in-the-wool Cockernee villain
known as the Pearly King. Tsk. That bloody Terry Hayes, moonlighting
again. No doubt his old mate Skully will turn up as ‘Robbin’
*STOP PRESS: the Save The 100 Club campaign is putting on a quality
Ska and R&B benefit knees up next Thursday (25th), hosted by Lenny
Beige, with Roddy Radiation, Chas Hodges, great DJs and special
guests. Tickets £20 a pop on the door; £17.50 in advance.
Nov 17. Oi, if you’re in London this Saturday don’t forget that
Sham 69 are playing the Garage with Mark Perry’s Alternative TV
and supports The Anoraks and Shag Nasty. Sham also play the Westcoast
bar, Margate, on Sunday, with The Warriors and Shag Nasty.
*The Mighty Mighty Bosstones have unveiled details of their three
day Xmas Hometown Throwdown in Boston. The line-up, from 26th
to 28th December, includes Less Than Jake, We Are The Union, The
Flatliners and DYS.
*Nads small ad. Looking for a job? We’re doing one on Monday.
Meet outside the Eltham branch of Nationwide, 3pm prompt. Ask
for Boris The Blade. Bring your own balaclava.
*Joining the Rebellion bill: the Heavy Metal Kids, Captain Sensible,
The Outcasts, the Anti-Nowhere League, Pipes & Pints and the Surfin
Turnips. Tickets £80 in advance for all four days until 30th November.
After that, they’re a ton.
*How sweet. There’s already a Stuff The Royal Wedding festival
planned for next summer. You mean-spirited bastards. Kate Middleton
(or PILF as she’ll soon be, before becoming a QILF) has just slipped
a finger in Diana’s ring, making her the first person to do so
since James Hewitt.
Nov 16. A French bird enquires as to whether we can support Cock
Sparrer near Paris next month for beer (French beer), croissants
and travel expenses. Yeah, and maybe we’ll bring our plumber mates
along as well to sort out your central heating for their bus fare
and a plate of frogs’ legs too, love. We’ll be certain to reply
just as soon as we work out what the French is for “On yer bike
and make sure the dog-catcher don’t see ya.”
*Fat Col, sorry, Mr X, has received a reply to his small ad
requesting an undiscerning round-buying nymphomaniac for a weekend
in Cardiff. A Miss Lusty Dusty emails to say, quite accurately:
‘With your looks we have to warn you, you have two chances, none
and fuck all.’ She goes on: ‘Ask Roddy Moreno to sort you out
one of his look-alike Cardiff skinhead (alleged) girls - she'll
get a round in, one as big as her arse! They come in three ages:
old, ‘kin’ old and ancient!’
Today’s Nads Ad: New members urgently needed by the Suicide
Girls. Based Los Angeles. Must have own razor blade. (To have
your small ad considered for publication please send the words
plus appropriate payment. Currencies accepted include Sterling,
Euros, dollars, rubles, rupees, koruna, Viagra, sulphate, lager
* Kiria’s next London gig is at a fetish club and she’s asking
people to come in nightwear. So Wattsie will be digging out her
Winceyette nightie and pink nylon quilted house-coat. Mick Maverick
comes in his nightwear just thinking about Kiria...
Nov 15. Social Distortion release their new single, ‘Machine
Gun Blues’ as a download tomorrow. It’s the first taste of their
new and delayed Epitaph album, Hard Times and Nursery Rhymes (due
out 18 Jan)
Nads Small Ad: Nympho required for a weekend break to Cardiff;
must have own wheels and all own teeth. NO MIDDLE CLASS. Must
buy round. If interested contact Mr X c/o Fat Col Gannon at the
Nov 14. Random tour news: Iron Maiden play a UK arena tour next
summer kicking off in Glasgow at the SECC on July 20 and ending
at the London O2 on 5th August... The Levellers have added five
new dates to their March tour, including Liverpool and Bournemouth...The
Oppressed’s first UK show for 2011 is at Pivo Pivo Glasgow on
January 22... GBH are back at BH2 for two dates in Jan (15 and
Nads Small Ad: Calling all OI! POETS! Annoyed by your non-inclusions
on the new, 30th anniversary Oi album? Why not send your odes
where they will be used to good effect? Contact Big Billy Boy
c/o The Venerable Bard Bog Paper Specialists Ltd, Arnos Grove.
Nov 14. Confusion surrounds the WM as he continues to issue
a series of bizarre statements about the state of play in the
Badoes camp. “Careless talk costs lives,” he texts. “You do not
sack the boss” – a reference to allegations that the rest of the
band had been secretly plotting to over-throw him before his pre-emptive
strike. He goes on “Never put too much trust in friends, learn
to use your enemies...Get others to play with the cards you deal...
imagine the cyclone, a wind that cannot be seen – there is no
defence, a cyclone sews terror and confusion.” The new Confucius
then adds something about yards of ale that doesn’t make much
sense unless you’ve downed a few of them. Rumours abound that
Tel will revert to the original Badoes smart Casual look and may
even bring back founder member Skully in a management capacity.
Yet the axed former Badoes are confused by Tel’s big sacking announcement.
A baffled Phil McDermott tells us that he can’t be sacked as he’d
already quit the band on October 1st. “I guess when you reach
your fifties like Tel the old memory starts to go,” he sniffs.
Meanwhile Chelsea Dom is maintaining a dignified silence, but
sources close to the great man are expecting him to launch a band
of his own next year. We hope he calls them Stockbroker Belt.
* The Newtown Neurotics headline The Gaff in North London on
Saturday November 27th. They’re planning to play the whole of
their ‘Beggars Can Be Choosers’ album in the original running
order, along with the first London airing of ‘Kick Out The Tories’
since the Con-Dem coalition slithered to power. (“Like Labour
would be any better!” – Fat Col)
*The new UK Subs album, ‘Work In Progress’ will be out in January
on Capt Oi. It’s their first since ‘Universal’ in 2002, and features
fourteen tracks – twelve new Subs originals, a cover of ‘Strychnine’
by The Sonics, and a song they’ve co-written with Lars Frederiksen...
Nov 13. Phew! Gal returned to the Total Rock Radio studios with
the Heavy Metal Kids and the resulting chaos is up and running
(You may recall that the last show they recorded together was
lost in the ether; according to Gal the session was “so hot, so
funny and so outrageous” that it blew up the station’s antiquated
equipment.) Anyway, it’s sorted now: listen out for John ‘Nasty
Nick’ Altman’s Sid Vicious story and great tracks from Deadline,
Crashed Out, Engrained, Redtrack, The Big, The Black Angels, First
Wave, the Cockney Rejects, Pama International meet Mad Professor,
the New Town Kings and more – including the first taster from
the awesome Gonads Greater Hits collection. Too bad it was recorded
before we discovered that Ronnie Thomas is a scurrilous round
*Shock news indeed on the Terry Hayes front. As predicted here,
the WM has SACKED the rest of the East End Badoes and REPLACED
them. The new Badoes line-up has been secretly assembled and are
rehearsing next week for a December debut. El Tel reveals: “I
have rounded up a full team of working class Cockneys. Gone are
the stockbroker belt section who devalued what the band was all
about.” So the Simon Le Bon of Oi is back. But will the bassist
formerly known as Big Badoe Dom take this shocking treachery lying
* WARREN Fitzgerald of The Vandals has co-written and produced
two songs on the new Aquabats digital EP ‘Radio Down!’.
Nov 12. Tony Feedback confirms our shock story of yesterday,
but adds "The problems came after the gig because as modest as
I am, it'd be true to say that both Kiria and Shona and the other
female members of Kiria's band were gutted when all the attention
landed on my doorstep with a stream of male and female admirers
thronging the dressing room vying for my attention and trying
to caress me. The following day brought a plethora of fan mail
for my wicked witch look resulting in a Facebook page being set
up in the name of Sharron Slutt." But Tone's Lily Savage look
hasn't gone down too well with Shorty drummer Jim 'The Piddler'
Piddington however, who wrote it off as "Rocky Horror and passé";
and even Cindy Jackson is snubbing him "because I look better
than she does - without any surgery." Tone adds: "It isn't really
a surprise that I should end my music career as a beautiful woman.
Even back in the Upstarts, Mensi was always saying, 'If ye put
a leather skirt on Toooone, I'd shag yer'." Presumably after administering
some Mad Dog flavoured Rohypnol...