Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation. As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.
THE GONADS! CHARLTON! SOUTH LONDON! STREET ROCK N ROLL! COCKNEY CULTURE! COCKNEY ROCK! OI-TONE! SKA! BEER! CURRY! WORKERS’ RIGHTS! FLAG-GIRLS! ENGLAND! OI OI OI! THIS IS WHO WE ARE!
May 30. Thanks to 365 Radio for playing our Full English song - you can vote
us in to the Legacy Chart if you like.
There's just one downer. Effete El left Fat Col in charge of band business while he went off on holiday, and food-obsessed filth-hound Col "forgot" to get the new single released! So you'll have to wait a month or so before you can buy it. Gannon has consequently been severely disciplined by Miss Management. He reportedly said that he enjoyed it so much he has forgotten to get a release date for the new live album too...
May 27. Veteran US punk, garage, and Oi bands are planning to put together a twelve-track tribute to the Gonads, with various snotty herberts covering some of our greatest songs. The album will be released “hopefully by this time next year” says co-organiser Jay Letendre (So almost certainly before Fat Col’s so-called Worldwide Tribute featuring hard rockin’, very metal combos – Ed)… the only voice raised against the album belongs to a passing Lord Waistrel who thinks Bucks Fizz should lead the project. Asked why, his Lordship simply replied, “Bucks Fizz. Cheryl Baker. Great legs. Wallop. I should cocoa.” We await the English translation with no small amount of dread.
Out next Friday (2/6): a 50-track Desmond Dekker Essential Artist Collection compilation from Trojan… Here’s a new track from our pals The Drowns, featuring Suzi Moon – a cover of Ballroom Blitz
May 25. Stop press. RIP Tina Turner who has died aged 83. Tina, real name Anna Mae Bullock, died at home in Kusnacht, Switzerland. Says Gal: “Tina Turner was a giant performer who put the soul in rock’n’roll, she will be sorely missed.”
RIP also Pete Brown, the English beat poet who wrote the lyrics for classic Cream tracks like White Room, I Feel Free and Sunshine Of Your Love. Grab hold of his autobiography White Rooms & Imaginary Westerns if you can.
May 21. Here is the new lyric video for our song Full English, in praise of the traditional artery-clogging English fry-up breakfast.
The latest issue of John King’s VERBAL zine is out now including an interview with Martin Knight, articles on Orwell, Kafka and Camus and new fiction. Including a short story by Gal himself. The small print publication is dedicated to “voices beyond the mainstream”. A stern-faced King (PPGB, CFC & bar) apparently rejected an elaborate fantasy short fiction work by Fat Col for reasons of taste, manners and integrity. See here for details.
In other news, Gal and Wattsie were thought to be “nailed on” as vocalists for The Business’s European tour dates (see yesterday’s entry), but we now understand they’ve been offered the job of standing in for warring Phil and Holly on ITV’s This Morning, which would clash. Ashen-faced spokesman Effete El tells us, “Obviously their hearts are with The Business, but their wallets are more in tune with the fat fee ITV are willing to pay… as is Lord Waistrel’s, whose management commission can’t be sniffed at…”
May 20. Random noos: 1) Tell-all book Oi! The Truth is now a work in progress. Says our source “it will be the only book that tells the story of Oi through the words of those who were actually there – accept no substitute”…Gal and Wattsie are close to agreeing a deal to sing for The Business on their forthcoming pan-European dates, we’re told; after Euro promoters insisted on “London vocals only”… meanwhile The Interrupters have just digitally re-released their studio album In The Wild with three bonus tracks.
Random goss: Gal said to be considering a live Gonads ep featuring “taster” acoustic versions of songs lined up for his Big 69 boxset; the ep would be recorded at our rumoured Xmas acoustic party show and released ahead of part one of the boxset’s four album package, which is due next May.
May 19. True story: Gal was cornered by two Gonads fans at his comedy gigs in Portsmouth this week. Although they loved the show, the couple complained that they’d forked out £27-a-head chiefly to see Gal’s fabled ventriloquism spot with Wattsie – which didn’t happen. Gonads’ PR trouble-shooter Hockers stepped in swiftly to blame Shona for throwing “a hissy Diva fit”, but some insiders claim that the problem started in rehearsals when she sat on Gal’s lap and “something came up”. What can they mean?
May 13. Happy birthday to Gal Gonad, who turns 68 today. As Fat Col put it, “he’s now just a year away from a Judge Dread song”.
Quick news round-up: Clyde has produced a blinding radio edit of our Full English breakfast anthem which will be heard on 365 Radio shortly; experts describe it ambitiously as “Led Zep do Ian Dury” and “a worthy follow-up to Glad To Be Alive”. A Wattsie YouTube video will follow... Clyde is also working on a sprightlier edit of Badly Done... due to certain members of the band taking industrial action, our next gig is at Bexhill-on-Sea in September but please note the venue is changing, so watch the blog for updates; we expect to confirm other gigs shortly... the Anti Nowhere League are keen to contribute a track to Gal’s big Ska/Oi/punk unity album, the only delay appears to be at the Randale Records end; a source tells us “it is easier to get a reply from the Great Beyond than from the Black Forest”...
A Gonads away firm took in Micky Flanagan’s gig at the O2 on Thursday and, as well as praising the Cockney comic, they report that his warm-up music was “cracking – everyone from the Boss to Desmond Dekker via Chas n Dave and David Essex with a dollop of Sham at the end”... our Gal is back on stage himself next Wednesday and Thursday as he comperes two nights of blue-collar comedy filth at the Gaiety Theatre, Southsea... the bad news? It looks like Wattsie has pulled out of their ventriloquism act, a close pal whispers “maybe he needs to warm up his fingers”.
STOP PRESS. If you fancy yourself as a comic and have a strong three-to-five minutes of joke-driven stand-up get in touch pronto.
May 6 update: last night’s band beer-and-ruby reunion was a success, reportedly, although nobody has the slightest recollection of what was discussed or agreed...judging by the pictures on Instagram most of the curry club were just a pint or two shy of needing a stomach pump...