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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

June 1st. Old faces, many of them now craggier than a Gordon Ramsay close-up, turned up in Greenwich yesterday for the last day of filming on the Cockney Rejects documentary, East End Babylon. As well as the Geggus clan there were Vince Riordan, H from the original 4-Skins, Skully from the original East End Badoes, Tony Van Frater, Rejects drummer Lainey, former Bridgehouse guv’nor Terry Murphy, current BH2 guv’nor Tony Nichols, Gal and The Beast, Eugene Butcher (Vive Le Rock), Lee Drury (Eraserhead), Freddie Brown, Fat Col and more (wot? No Yeti?). The doc should be out next February, along with the new Rejects album of the same name.

Oi nutters, don’t forget we’re playing the Maiden’s Head, Canterbury on Saturday week (11th) with Booze & Glory, The Warriors and the Half-wits. More info from We’re also currently discussing the possibility of recording split singles, a Ska one with The Coverups ahead of the Buster Gonads’ Ska Battalion charity project, and a noisy one with US hardcore band Sticky Buns.

Gal’s latest pod is up and running at Total Rock Radio featuring tracks from Random Hand, the V8 Wankers, Intensified, Rival Sons, Radio Dead Ones, The Heels, The 1-Stop Experience, The Hickoids, The Riders of the Night, the 335, Antonella’s Klasse Kriminale, The Usual Players, Sham 69 (Dave Parsons line-up), the Noxious Toyz, Black Son, Shoot The Dead and Cynic Guru. Studio guests are Jennie Bellestar, Dave Parsons and Jimmy Edwards. Gal’s near-legendary technical incompetence also makes an appearance. Find it here.

The Riders of The Night have started working on a full-blown album that you may be surprised to hear has feck all to do with the Emirates and everything to do with modern life viewed from the eyes of a bunch of ageing adolescents. Talking of full-blown, veteran Nads fan Christine (aka The Norwood Nosher) is back on the scene...

Fans of veteran Aussie punk band The Saints, may be interested in what Kym Bradshaw’s doing now; his website is - bit of a change of direction!

May 31. The Ministry of Delusion is coming. Click on the symbol (above right) for a tantalising taster...

May 30. The big punk rock Help For Heroes fund-raising weekend in Essex was a great success, despite a last minute intervention by Harlow Council who tried to close down the gig. Apparently locals of an intolerant religious persuasion objected to the official H4H banners and the England flag being displayed, and bands were forced to perform in doors rather than out. You’d think that if you found the flag of the country you lived in “offensive” and if you objected to age-old but essential English customs like freedom of speech, you’d consider moving, but hey ho. Typical of the out-of-touch council to side with anything anti-English. We’re not sold on the logic of the Afghan war or the escalating action in Libya, but as a band the Nads stand full square behind our troops today, tomorrow and always. Well done to Stief of the Noxious Toyz for making the weekend a success.

*News update. Stief tells us that the council rang The Swift pub on the day before the gig and warned landlady Carol that if she went ahead with the out-door event they would close her down and revoke her licence. The official said that the council had been warned by wankers unknown (not his actual phrasing – Ed) that “200 skinheads were coming to Harlow to riot in the town.” Heroes of the hour Carol and landlord Bill immediately removed all benches, tables and chairs from the bar so that the bands and punters would all fit in. Stief says: “Our lighting man built an amazing mini-rig with a smaller but more than adequate PA, a terrific lighting rig and a great stage area... all the bands were determined to stick by us and were more than happy to come along and help us carry on... Carol & Bill stuck their necks on the line to let us go on with this. We got through the whole weekend with no trouble whatsoever, and all the skins, punks and psychobillies and their FAMILIES had a great weekend. I wasn't gonna give up, I believe in what I do too much and am totally committed. Massive respect to all nineteen bands that stuck with us and gave total commitment and support to the whole weekend for HFH and didn't care for a minute where they played, just as long as they could play and support us and our brave fighting men and women.”

Rancid will record a new studio album (their eighth) in September, and are lining up a world tour for 2012; we also hear that Lars is considering a new non-Rancid street-punk project as well as his Old Firm Casuals Oi combo, but we’re sworn to secrecy about that for now... In other record noos, top drawer Psychobilly nutters the Nekromantix are releasing a new album in August on Hellcat, called ‘What Happens In Hell, Stays In Hell’; and coming soon, a split album from Armed Suspects & Broken Heroes called ‘For The Punks & Skins’ on Oi The Boat records.

May 29. Fat Col Gannon continues to plug the Pathetique Punk cause. Col (activist, adventurer, beer drinker, passive smoker, aggressive carnivore, Worst Dressed Man at the Valley 1977-2011 etc etc) tells us he is assembling a new PP compilation album to “spearhead the Pathetique Renewal”. He is appealing for “high calibre bands of quality silliness” to contribute tracks, an artist “to design the album sleeve and that”, a record label to release it, and “someone to write the sleevenotes, maybe Gal and Max Splodge if they ain’t too busy.” Col’s own contribution? Mostly bullshitting.

The Sham row continues to rage, and in the interests of fairness, here’s another response from Tim V Man (abridged due to limited webspace): ‘There’s a lot more to all this than you know,’ he emails. ‘I more than many went through shit loads taking over from Jimmy Pursey and we achieved a lot in the last five years. The situation in general was we did all that through hard work and as such we all committed ourselves to this band, gave up day jobs etc... Me personally I was the band bottle-washer, cook and cleaner... taking the band to places they've never been as well as getting them deals etc etc. Yes I’m sad that things have turned out this way, but when you have a guy who through a change of personal fortune becomes a very wealthy man and decides he no longer wants to commit to a band, a band that works for a living what do you do? When you’re trying to do things day by day, and sitting in the van and all you get is misery and complaint you wonder why... I have sat down for many hours over the years trying to help Dave deal with stuff, I defended him against criticism, I stood toe to toe with a guy in defense of him as this guy wanted to spill some claret...I feel sorry more for Ian who’s been a friend and member of Sham for 26 years; he’s hurt by what Dave has done. So what do you do, walk away from something you’ve virtually rebuilt single-handed and TRY to get a job, or do you give this man who’s now financially comfortable his 20th ultimatum? We have chosen to go forward and have the right legally to do so, we’ve had to, but NOW! So again I’m sad and I hope Dave does do something with his talent, but it won’t be as SHAM 69.’ Seconds away, round four...

May 28. There’s gonna be a Borstal Bust-up (Part 2): Sham 69 vocalist Tim the anarchist has hit back against Dave Parsons in the great Sham Split Saga. Seems the problems all stem from a festival the band were asked to headline this coming July, which clashed with Dave’s family holiday (booked last October). The band invited Dave to postpone his vacation to play the fest. When Dave declined, they decided to play it with another guitarist. Dave takes the view that as he is the only original member it’s not Sham without him. Tim argues that a) Ian Whitewood has drummed for the band for twenty-six years b) Dave Parsons has too many holidays and c) “Dave does not, by law, have the right to disband Sham 69” (questionable, says actual lawyer the Beast). Tim adds: “We shall never continue as a tribute band as we collectively, by democratic process, majority rule and signed documents own the rights to use the name... Sham 69 shall now continue with a new guitarist and if you don't like it then go somewhere else because we will not compromise. This band has always been greater than the sum of its parts and no one is indispensable. To those critics who have taken pot shots at us without knowing the truth, they will again label us as a tribute act, as they did when Dave Parsons was IN the band, so what’s new?” Tim concludes: “Sham 69 over the last five years has become more of an ideology and belongs to the people and the fans, and not to any one of its members whose only concern is a life of ease, comfort and a bottle of brandy and a lifestyle contrary its ideology.” He then signs the statement ‘Ian Whitewood, drums Sham 69 (26 years)’. A friend of Dave Parsons replied: “What a load of demented bollocks. A holiday in Cornwall is hardly selling out. What’s wrong with drinking brandy? And what is this so-called punk ideology? Johnny Rotten’s ideology was I’m a lazy sod! Where can we get a copy of Tim’s punk rock rule book? They can rant and rave all they fucking like but without Dave and Jimmy it can never be Sham 69, just as it ain’t the Rejects without Jeff and Mick, it ain’t the Gonads without Gal and it ain’t the Stones without Mick and Keef. End of story.” Part 3 is no doubt soon come. We await sight of the ‘signed documents’ with interest.

*Meanwhile, here’s a taste of Dave Parsons’s solo material, his new song ‘Framed’ on YouTube. The eagle-eyed amongst you will spot Mick Geggus (with barnet!) and Vince Riordan in the early Sham footage.

Several calls and texts were received at Nads HQ from Essex yesterday, not least from the PM who informed us that word on the streets was that the Gonads were playing a secret set last night at The Bitter End, Romford, with the Last Resort and the LDs. Sorry to disappoint you all, mates, but that was never on the cards. Our actual secret gig is next weekend in South East London and only close friends of the bands know when and where. We haven’t even told Fat Col.

Those crazy cats at Walt Jabsco Recordings are offering a free sampler CD with every t-shirt ordered from their store. Not to be out-done, we’re offering a free packet of porky scratchings with every t-shirt ordered from ours.

May 27. Gal recorded his new Total Rock podcast today with Sham 69’s Dave Parsons, the effervescent Jennie Bellestar and Jimmy Edwards from Whacko!, sorry from Masterswitch. Dave revealed that he fell out with the rest of the last Sham line-up after discovering that the cheeky chaps were auditioning for another guitarist behind his back. While they continue as a Sham tribute band, Dave is planning to resurrect the real Sham with Kermit and Rick Goldstein with Jimmy Edwards singing. (Jimmy Pursey was of course released back into the wild by his carers some time ago). Gal’s pod, up in a day or two, will include quality ditties from Random Hand, Intensified, Rival Sons, the 335, The One Stop Experience, the Riders of the Night, Antonella’s Klasse Kriminale, the Hickoids, the V8 Wankers and many more. After the chaotic recording, the party adjourned to the 12 Bar, where they were joined by Spear of Destiny’s Kirk Brandon (slowly recovering from two years of serious heart problems), Vince from Vince Ray & The Boneshakers and of course Barnet Mark.

Record noos: Nekromantix new album What Happens In Hell, Stays In Hell is out in August on Hellcat...Me First & the Gimme Gimmes have recorded an EP of Japanese-language covers. It’s out this summer on Fat Wreck Chords.

The film of Mark Baxter and Paulo Hewitt’s Cockney caper novel The Mumper is due out in Autumn, starring the great Bob Hoskins, Phil Davis, Jenny Agutter, and good friend of ours Terry Stone.

Talking Mods, a text arrives from Tony Feedback telling us he’s in Monaco “shopping for slippers for Sharron Slutt”. We worry about the boy...

May 24. Here it is, the confirmed final line-up for 2000 Tons Of TNT with, as we suspected, Sham 69 and The Business in place for Day Two. Sham’s Dave Parsons should be guesting on Gal’s next pod-cast, about which more in time. Meanwhile, the Punk Rock Bowling weekend is looming like a hangover on wheels so we have dispatched our crack team of reporters to cover the madness. Bev Elliott and Jimmy are already in Vegas while Arnie’s love-child Chelsea Dom will defy the Icelandic ash clouds and fly out in the next 24 hours so expect an in-depth report sometime in the middle of July. The difference between Cheryl Cole and the Icelandic volcano? The volcano is still blowing ash (c) Fat Col Bad Jokes Unlimited.

May 22. It’s official. New Gonads anthem ‘Indestructible Wolves’ will be dedicated to Wolverhampton Wanderers who survived relegation today. Well done, lads. We’ll see you at Molineux when the Valiants are back in the Premiership in 2013. ‘Indestructible Wolves’ will be recorded in early June, and all we want in return for it is Billy Wright’s daughter’s phone number.

It looks like The Business and Sham 69 will be headlining day two of the TNT show in Connecticut this September – Fat Col reckons it’s “the best line-up since Carry On Girls.”

May 21. Workaholic King Hammond (the sovereign of Ska, the prince of Princetown, the regent of rude etc etc) has finished his brand new album, ‘Showbiz’ - his third in a hyper-productive twelve month period. It features such modern gems as ‘Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone’ and ‘Rockin’ On Ridley Road’ and will be out soon on Nick Welsh’s own N1 label. This guy never stops. He must be sweating more than Ryan Giggs watching his missus set up a Twitter account. We’re not sure whether to blame monkey glands or amphetamines but if everyone worked like the King the British economy would out-strip China by Christmas. Stay rude, man. Stay rebel.

Fat Col calls ranting on about the need for a Punk Pathetique Revival. “Everyone is bored shitless with bands singing about fighting, football and ‘standing together’,” the Plato of Plumstead tells us. “It’s time to get back to what really matters, pilchards, bums, and porky scratchings.” Here, here. Col goes on to paint a vivid picture of a summer seaside all-dayer featuring Max Splodge, the Gonads, Peter & The Test-Tube Babies, The Postmen, The Toydolls, Bad Manners and “if possible” The Macc Lads, with Wavis O’Shave as DJ. This supersonic celebration of silliness will also, he says, have a cabaret tent MC’d by FrankenSkin with a line-up of Stavros Flatley, busty Ska balloon dancers, filthy comedians, filthier pole-dancers, Chas n Dave impersonators, extreme jugglers and assorted clowns; plus a recreation area including funfair rides and side-show stalls, and a Speakers’ Corner for those who insist on Having A Say as well as a laugh. We’re completely sold and ready to sign up on the spot. “Col,” we say. “It’s genius, when are you going to organise it?” Here is the fat fool’s reply, verbatim: “Organise it? Don’t talk daft. I’m just calling for it, I ain’t gonna organise it. Who am I? Richard fuckin’ Branson?” Oh well, back to fighting and football then.

The thing you have to remember about Fat Col, the Beast tells us, is they only call him “Plato” because of the size of his feet.

New Gaslight Anthem video for ‘Bring It On’ posted here. They’re in London next month.

It’s the Rapture tonight. The world is due to end at 6pm. So see you back here in a day or two...

May 20. Rocking For BLESMA: here is the finalised line-up for the big benefit night for the British Limbless Ex-Servicemen Association. It’s at the Garage on August 13th and features The Heavy Metal Kids (legendary hard rock glam stars) PLUS Agincourt (classic UK rock with the punch of Iron Maiden and a bucket-load of melody) and of course The Gonads (South London’s premiere party punk band). All profits to Tickets from the Garage.

Random gigs: The Business play Paci Paciana in Bergamo, Italy tomorrow. The Angelic Upstarts play the Alexandra Hotel, Jarrow, on Wednesday (25th). We’re live in Welling tonight, playing crib...

May 18. Clarification: the Gonads appearing at 2000 Tons Of TNT will be the US Gonads – featuring Gal and four of “the sickest, oi-loving punk rock animals” that the East Coast has ever produced. Auditions for flag-girl will begin in Connecticut on 2nd September, bring your own stirrups.

A message to you, Rudy: The Specials are playing an extra London date on the UK leg of their tour - at the O2 Academy Brixton on October 31.The 2-Tone titans kick off in Amsterdam on 15th September and finish up at Ally Pally on November 3rd. Tickets for all dates go on sale at 9am on Friday.

She-male sauce-pot Sharron Slutt will be playing in Wild Mutation – a new band put together for a Mick Ronson cancer benefit gig – along with Spizz, Shanne Bradley (not Shane) from the Nips, and Marc Pearson of the Glitter Band with guest spots from Jenny Drag of the Priscillas and Roland Gift from the Fine Young Cannibals. Dates are 3rd June, The Castle in Finchley Rd and June 4th The Springhead in Hull. Talk of Shazza brings us to Fat Col’s joke of the week (which we suspect is a true story): Fella spots a good-looking sort on a Bromley Golf Course and asks her if she’d like to play a round with him. She wins by four strokes. Sensing the geezer’s embarrassment she offers to take him to the car park and give him head to cheer him up. Every day that week, the same thing happens: they play, he loses, she blows him. On Friday he invites her back to his house for a meal. They tuck in to a take-away, drink some LIDL plonk, and then, wallop, he makes a move on her like an IMF President. The bird backs off immediately, saying “Hold up sunshine, I have a confession to make. I’m not really a beautiful woman, I am a transvestite, a bloke.” Well the geezer goes Garrity. “You dirty cheating bastard,” he says. “You’ve been playing off the women’s tee all fucking week.”

Here’s Boston punk-ska band the Have Nots covering Darkbuster’s anthem ‘Skinhead’ live - here.

Finally never mind music, Seth ‘Family Guy’ MacFarlane is bringing back The Flintstones! MacFarlane will oversee a new version of the cartoon classic for Fox TV in the States. He said: “I think America is finally ready for an animated sitcom about a fat, stupid guy with a wife who's too good for him...” D’oh! (Which also means the Septics may be ready for Fat Col...)

May 17. We’re lining up a secret gig in South London for an invited audience; it may well be recorded...and it will also feature the new extended version of ‘Oily Rag’...

Early bird tickets are now on sale for next year’s London International Ska Fest. The fest will take place between May 3rd and 6th 2012 across three venues - Brixton Academy, The Shepherds Bush Empire and The Islington Academy (one wristband gets you into all of them). Line up details will start to follow shortly.

Brooklyn’s favourite sons the Slackers hit the UK Friday week for their 20th anniversary tour. Dates: May 27 - London 02 Islington; 28th – Leicester, The Donkey; 29th - Belfast Empire; 30th Newcastle Trillians; 31st - Manchester Moho Live; June 1 - Derby Old Bell.

The Funny Old Bastards blue collar comedy show has been cancelled due to unforeseen last minute TV commitments; full ticket refunds are available, the show will be rescheduled in due course.

May 16. A magnificent day in the studios yesterday, as ‘Buster’s Ska Battalion’ project took tasty shape. The three track ‘Ska For Heroes’ ep will be released in August and all proceeds will be split between charities working for ex-servicemen - the Chelsea Pensioners, the Erksine Hospital and Help For Heroes. The A side is a World War I medley, arranged by Rob Sigston from The Coverup, with vocals from Jack Kendall and Liberty Hayes. The b-side will feature the Gonads vs The Coverup: Jack and Libs singing the unreleased Gonads song ‘Cheeky Chappy’ (written by Gal and Tony Feedback), which is said to be “like vintage Madness with a twist of bitterness”, and Jack and Jennie Bellestar performing a new version of our ‘Long Ska Summer.’ The physical e.p. will come with a bonus track: Resistance 77’s ‘Far Away’ with Libs on vocals. The three Ska songs, engineered by Pat Collier and produced by Gal and Steve Whale, are said to be “98% complete”. Musicians involved include sax-player Joe Green (nephew of the great blues rock genius Peter Green), drummer Dustin Lee Burgess (ex-Argy Bargy) and Jack Kendall (ex Bad Lads’ Army!). The songs in the medley range from ‘Keep The Home Fires Burning’ to ‘Rule Britannia’ via ‘Men Of Harlech.’ More details will be released in July.

Big Country will play six major UK/Irish festivals this year - Isle of Wight, T in the Park, Oxygen in Dublin, V festival (Chelmsford & Stafford) & Inverness with Simple Minds. And legendary producer Steve Lillywhite, who produced Big Country's finest work from the 80s, will be back over-seeing the band’s first single in more than twelve years. Big Country tell us they’ll be announcing a series of smaller dates soon, to "break in" new songs for a future release, and according to Mike Peters have already started planning for a new album and a 30th anniversary tour in 2012.

May 14. Tomorrow the Ska All-Stars will record the bulk of the Erskine hospital charity ep, about which more will follow in due course. We know for sure that it will feature The Gonads v The Coverup, Jennie Bellestar, Liberty Hayes and eventually, fingers crossed, the elusive but ineffable Buster Bloodvessel. And it will be a stormer! Expect an August release. Meanwhile the campaign to get the new Selecter single in the charts starts here.

Fit Bird reveals that Gal and Clyde’s new anthem ‘Rise Up England’ was inspired by the EU’s outrageous backdoor decision to lump a slice of Southern England in with Northern France in some spurious new made-up region called Arse Munch (Arc Manche actually – Informed Ed). What a diabolical liberty.

A small group of thirteen Herbert gentlefolk assembled in That Turkish Place tonight to celebrate Gal’s birthday, amongst them: Charlton Tel, Big Jim, Steve Whale, Dirty Rob, Sandra Lane, Fit Bird, Jeniera from The Blades and making a welcome return, the Straw Hayes who sits in for the PM whenever he is otherwise engaged on important Prankster business (and, it has to be said, buys considerably more rounds). Not there was Wattsie Watts who unfortunately got clamped at Lakeside, and that don’t half make your nipples sore. Gal is 106.

Director David Markey has released his film of Black Flag’s final tour, In My Head – on the road in the US in 1986 - on Vimeo. Have a butcher’s here:

Other names being whispered about as possible headliners for day two of 2000 Tons Of TNT: Rose Tattoo, the Anti-Nowhere League, and even Slade. C’mon fill the void! Baby, baby, baby!

May 13. Happy b-oi-thday Gal! Some sad news: The Skatalites’s orginal drummer Lloyd Knibb has died after a long battle with liver cancer. He was 80. RIP also Manic Esso’s brother Dave who was buried yesterday in West London in front of a large turn-out of friends. Pete, we’re sorry for your loss.

Here’s the latest line-up for 2000 Tons Of TNT. Sunday’s headliner is yet to be confirmed, but rumours that it will be Sparrer are wide of the mark as they’ll be playing South America that weekend. Unreliable whispers suggest that it could be the Resort (if Roi can get in the country), the Specials (don’t think so), Infa-Riot (possibly), the Postmen (sadly unlikely) or the Partisans (hmm, wouldn’t rule it out). We hear that attempts have been made to woo Oxo out of retirement – Hoxton’s Heroes! - but we’d lay good money against that happening. Whoever closes the show, it must be an constant irritation to the music press snobs of 1980/81 that while Oi is still sweeping the globe their own stuck-up, arty-farty icons are probably sweeping the streets.

May 12. We were sworn to secrecy but now we can reveal: the Last Resort have recorded a split single with the Old Firm Casuals – out mid-July on Oi-The Boat records.

The historic Gonads dream team of Gal and Clyde Ward are working on a brand new anthem called ‘Rise Up England’; Fit Bird tells us the track is “like vintage Blitz with a massive chant-a-long chorus.” Clyde tells us the Freds’ tour got cancelled when Richard “smashed his tooth on an olive pip.” Smashed his tooth on an olive pip? That’s not very rock n roll is it! What next, tripping up on some loose fennel? Aggravated avocado-related injuries? Pussies! Eat steak like men! In the words of Gal’s grandad Johnny Barker: “Never eat nothing that ain’t hot and shiney.”

Neville Staple is coming to 2-Tone Central in Coventry on 27th May, tickets a tenner in advance, or £13 on door. Location: Coventry Uni Students Union in Priory Street, CV1 5FJ.

Random news: LA Guns vocalist Phil Lewis is appearing with the Heavy Metal Kids at their upcoming Camden gig... Gonads website goddess kidnapped by UFO shocker! Batttttty last seen being sick on a tour bus in Back-of-beyond, Shit Creek, Ohio. We’ve sent emergency doctors, Jim Beam and Jack Daniels... Happy b-oi-thday to Gal for tomorrow! He’ll be 35... for the 21st time...

May 11. Spotted on ebay in the USA: this fine bootleg t-shirt representing the true face of Oi: the Brothers Grim – the scarifying sight of Gal, beardless in 1980, and the even more scarifying Hoxton Tom. Although which one was Reggie and which one Ronnie, we’d rather not say. We don’t know who produced this t-shirt, but one thing is for sure: they have bloody good taste!

The London International Ska Festival 2012 has been confirmed. April’s mega four day fest went down so well that the organisers have committed to make it an annual event. Watch this space for news on the line-up, which is, we’re assured “soon come.” Discounted early bird tickets will go on sale next week. And if you missed it this year, they’re putting an album (CD, digital & collectors vinyl), deluxe collectors 200 page book and film of the festival together.

The film is being directed by Michelle Golding (who made The Specials 30th Anniversary doc), and it’s likely to include backstage footage, artist interviews and even some unseen footage from the first ever London Intl Ska Festival (held back in Dec '88) as well as copious performance footage. Watch out for film premieres/album release parties in LA, London, Copenhagen, Brighton and more being scheduled now.

Chelsea Dom has filed his in-depth report from Zagreb, an even Rougher Guide to Croatia, and has supplied his own mini-headlines. Although disappointingly short on alcohol consumption breakdowns, it is full of local colour. Here goes:

We’re Coming Back: On arrival at midnight, after dumping the bags at the hotel, Igor the promoter took us to the quaintly-named Spunk bar for a few liveners & local brews. (Normally it’s the Yeti who goes looking for Spunk after midnight – Ed) These obviously hit the mark, some people may think Sparrer are superheroes but this didn't prove to be the case when one of the boys attempted to walk through a wall (a feat repeated by another band member the following evening, as if to prove a point). Both denied this, so we've got CSI Zagreb currently working on the forensics from the dents in the walls....So Many Things - The next day we had some free time, so decided to explore the City. Zagreb itself is very clean and quite Bohemian, in a similar way to Prague or Vienna. I couldn't tell you much about the sites, not being too familiar with Croatian history prior to the 20th Century, but we saw the usual plethora of statues, churches etc, although the palace was covered in scaffolding (and the palace was rather small - maybe their equivalent of the Windsors were all Peggy Mitchell sized!). Following a couple of pit stops for refreshments, we headed for the sound-check followed by a slap-up meal of local carnivorous delights...Quiet Squad - Prior to the main event, three local bands played; but the venue seemed unusually empty, with most people enjoying the hot weather and having a drink outside. The venue, the Boogaloo, is a curious affair, black marbled floor, black walls, black ceiling......a sense of perpetual darkness, like Lemmy’s bedroom in a power cut...Got Your Number - A pre-gig conversation relayed a feeling of guilt for not undertaking vocal exercises like many other bands, although all were agreed when the sound man suggested that a gargle of Jack Daniels would do the trick. That's what I call professionalism!...Running Riot - However, by the time Sparrer were due on stage the place was packed & from the opening bars of the first number, the crowd went ballistic. Someone in the crowd thought it was a bright (geddit?) idea to light one of those flares you often see in the foreign football grounds, which made for a great spectacle. The enthusiastic nature of the crowd made for a great atmosphere and you could tell the band were getting a real buzz from it...Argy Bargy - As the band rattled through their set, the crowd maintained their early energy and another flare was lit, as per the clips here and here.

Because You're Young - The songs kept coming, the punters kept dancing. It's encouraging that there are so many youngsters that come to see the band, noticeably the female contingent, many of whom were camped down the front for the evening... Sunday Stripper (or What's it Like to be Old) - for the encore, one of the nubile young ladies down the front decided to show us a unique dance of her own, involving synchronous air-bags, presumably to brace herself from the impact of the crowd surging from behind... Take Em All - the band took the place by storm, leaving everyone on a massive high, with some individuals letting the fire extinguishers off for good measure. With the flares failing to set off any smoke alarms or sprinklers, it was a wonder that these actually worked.

May 10. Loveable rascal Garrie Lammin has long wanted his Bermondsey Joyriders to be the new Rolling Stones, but this disturbing shot from the band’s recent 100 Club gig proves that instead of Keef and Mick, Gal is turning instead into the new John McCririck! Dodgy sideburns, dodgier views on women, unfashionable attire and an interest in all things ‘horsey’... that’s Garrie. And McCririck is just as bad.

May 9. Coming soon: a brand new Gonads initiative, the Ministry of Delusion. Watch this space...

The two hour, 18-band, unreleased epic, StreetPunk - The Movie (2000), is now available free to all on you-tube. Shot by Stewart Newman between ’96 and ’99 at various locations, it includes the Sex Pistols in the Park gig, the ’97 Morecambe (HITS/Wasted) festival and Nottingham with Max Splodge hysterically trying to interview Chaos UK. The film features tracks from the UK Subs, Menace, The Varukers, One Way System, Special Duties, Guitar Gangsters, Sick On The Bus, Oxymoron, Police Bastard, Airbomb, Short n' Curlies, Road Rage, Contempt and Screamer, plus interviews and fly on the wall footage with Eater, The Vibrators, Angelic Upstarts, The Drones, The Lurkers and a cast of thousands. Newman, who shot the Exploited doc Rock n Roll Outlaws, claims the 90s were “a superbly productive decade”, and adds that the film shows three sides of punk: “the ultra commercialism of what the Pistols had become”, the crusty drop-out scene (“Effing scruff-bags!” – Fat Col), and retro weekenders. This was Newman's final film before he had to get a proper day-job and sign off the dole. See it here.

*Snoozy Suzy Fact Alert! Suze reckons old leather shoes are sent to Third World countries for food! She tells us: “I heard somewhere that cowboys used to eat their saddles so why not leather shoes? I think you have to boil them down first, and throw in a carrot or summit.” Gives a whole new meaning to beef wellington.

May 7. Stand by, incoming: the two new Nads songs are absolutely brahmas! ‘Indestructible Wolves’ is as catchy as an STS in Walford, while ‘Backstreet Army’ is as harder than Hagar The Horrible on PCP. Both songs were written by Gal and McMighty and recorded yesterday by the ever-efficient FB. Incredibly the whole of our next studio album has now been written and will be recorded later this year. Talk is cheap and hype is cheaper but hand on heart these songs won’t so much take you by surprise as drag you up an alley and beat the holy crap out of you. The album tracks are almost certain to be: ‘Oi!blivion’, ‘Hands Of The Ripper’, ‘Dirty Girl’, ‘Fighting’, ‘Horn Of Plenty’, ‘Son of Franken-Skin’ (an oi opera!), ‘Beer Can’, ‘These Are Our Streets’, ‘Troosers’, ‘They Died Heroes’, ‘Love Radio’, ‘Backstreet Army’ and ‘Indestructible Wolves’ – which is likely to be a single, with an otherwise unavailable live recording of ‘Charlton Lido’.

May 7. A distraught Fit Bird launched a search for Gal after he went AWOL yesterday afternoon. He was finally located at 1.30am by FB in a Kent gutter clutching wino-strength lager and a spinach madras. The cause of this peculiar carry-on (curry-on?) is believed to have been a seven hour drinking session in the Nell Gwynne with Hoxton Tom, which may or may not have involved a cameo appearance from Bev Elliott (we are officially endorsing Bev’s team in the Vegas punk rock bowling tourney later this month). Many stories were told and anecdotes remembered, but sadly none were written down, and Gal, who is currently nursing a hangover “like a coshed goat” can recall little after the eighteenth pint. Quite how this will affect his planned writing session with McMighty today is anyone’s guess although FB reckons “it can only improve it.” Gal meanwhile claims that the riff for a “blinding” new Nads song called ‘Well Jel’ came to him in his sleep.

Bad news, the Rejects had to pull out of tonight’s big Randale Meeting because Jeff has gone down with laryngitis. Worst news: plans to airlift the Gonads in as subs had to be abandoned at the eleventh hour after we discovered that Mick Maverick’s niece gets married this afternoon. (Congrats!) Scouts are now trying to sober up Max Splodge in a bid to fill the ninety minute slot. But a furious Beast condemned Mick’s decision as “frivolous” and branded it “even worse than Gal deciding to attend his son’s wedding rather than play at Punk & Disorderly”. He issued a stern warning that “putting any wedding other than your own ahead of the band is a disciplinary offence.” Mick, shall you hit him or shall we?

If you're in the Orange County, California on Thursday, as we frequently are, you may be interested to know that movie-maker Evan Jacobs is screening his ‘Orange County Hardcore Scenester’ doc at the Yost Theatre in Santa Ana. The film includes Gameface, Quicksand, Farside, Sticky Buns, Texas Is The Reason and more. Entry free. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. More info here.

A mysterious character called The Sentinel has got in touch. He tells us his role is to “observe, record and expose extremist attempts to infiltrate the streetpunk scene from the far-Left and far-Right”. He tells us he is currently tracking a “laughable not very subtle far-Right attempt to go mainstream” and “an absurd anarchist bid to corrupt the core values of Oi”. Thank you, sir. We await your reports with mounting indifference. Although we do know of at least one overt neo-Nazi band who are currently pretending to have “moved away” from hate-wank – which is frankly about as likely as Nick Griffin claiming, “I’m not interested in politics, I just want to play my kazoo.”

May 6. The Rejects will appear as guests of honour at the 2000 Tons of TNT fest in September, but will the Gonads join them? The promoter is keen and intense negotiations are underway. The Beast, Fat Col and Waistrel are liaising as a team to try and make this happen...It’s like the Three Stooges never died.

We’re back in the studio early next month recording new songs for two US Oi compilations. One of them will be ‘Backstreet Army’, the other is provisionally titled ‘Indestructible Wolves’ (ooh-erh!), although a more ‘socially aware’ number called ‘Pig Society’ is also in with a shout.

We’ve have heard at last from Hechti, der große Käse at Germany’s mighty but unhurried Contra Records, who assures us that ‘Oi! Never Surrender’, the thirtieth anniversary Oi! album, will finally and definitely be released in time for Rebellion in August. Hurrah! Cynics raise eyebrows and mutter “We’ll see” but we’re such trusting souls we won’t even crack the traditional ‘which year?’ gag. PS. New suggested slogan for Contra: Rock against the clock. Time matters not one jot.

Attracted by the availability of cheap, high-quality Karlovac(ko beer, sorry, by the opportunity to see Cock Sparrer headline Boogaloo, our intrepid reporter Chelsea Dom is off to Zagreb, Croatia this morning. Full report when we return next week.

Random stuff: I-Scream are going to reissue the Murphy’s Law back catalogue... A teenager has been nicked in Australia for pelting Justin Bieber with eggs while he was onstage in Sydney; let’s hope one of the charges is ‘failure to hard boil them first’.

May 5. Our roving reporter Chelsea Dom informs us that he was unable to review Rebellion Amsterdam earlier than today because he had been understandably traumatized by the sight of Max Splodge popping one of his piles – the resulting mess ending up on Ronnie Rocker’s head (Pile-Popper Rocker Shocker!) He has now sufficiently recovered to file the following report: Day One, morning: 1 x vodka, three pints of Guinness. Bands seen: none, but in fairness we have not yet left the airport. Afternoon: We arrive in Amsterdam late Saturday afternoon to encounter the biggest street party I've ever witnessed. It’s for the Dutch Queen's Birthday (Konninginnedag) and it’s huge; think Trafalgar Square on New Year's Eve but spread across a much wider area. The sea of orange that greets us resembles a mass break-out from Guantanamo Bay. It seems rude not to join them for a beer....

After dealing with a f*ck-up at the hotel, we set about the business of the weekend: serious drinking, music, more drinking and erm, more drinking. That night ends up in the hotel bar with the Cockney Rejects’ Mr Tony Van Frater, Chief Mong of the Sunderland Pranksters, regaling us with various stories and the odd number on acoustic guitar (but no Kum-Ba-Yah). Beers consumed: 17, bands seen: none.

Day two. The gig itself. The Melkweg is one of the best venues in Europe and makes a fitting stage (pardon the pun) for a strong Rebellion line-up. The first band I see are the Cute Lepers with their catchy brand of pop-punk, although I don't remember that much about the set and hadn't drunk that much at that point (there's a moral in there somewhere). Next up are Civet who leave several of the more senior gentlemen somewhat disappointed - nothing to do with the music, more the fact that there are now only two voluptuous vixens in the band. After them, the energy levels are cranked-up when hardcore favourite Roger Miret takes to the stage with his band the Disasters providing an interesting mix of something old, something new, with a bit of Agnostic thrown in. Personal favourites include his tribute to the Ramones, which Hilly Kristal had asked him to write, simply entitled ‘Ramones’ and the AF classic ‘Gotta Go.’ From then on it is full on, with Argy Bargy bludgeoning through a set with Watford Jon growling the vocals (and Ray Dust pulling his (un)usual drummer faces). The frantic pace is tempered with the melodious harmonies of Immaterial Girl. This theme continues with Carol Clerk's old favourites, the Defects, one of the better bands from the early 80s wave of punk, who belt out all the old favourites, ‘Dance Until You Drop’, ‘Bitch’, and ‘Survival’ as well as the classic ‘Brutality’ with an RUC-uniformed stage-hand joining for a rousing chorus of 'S-S-R-U-C'. I look forward to hearing the new album! Perennial favourites the Subs really get the crowd going playing all the hits and more, with Charlie bouncing around like he was 65 only yesterday (sorry Charlie!). Seriously though, I love the Subs and have seen them more times than any other band over the last 30 years, although I could have sworn I saw Jet (current guitarist) earlier in the evening before his hair was suitably coiffured, sporting an outrageous pudding bowl affair. Boston's Street Dogs take to the stage next, putting in an energetic set including favourite 'Up The Union', although I sometimes wish bands would be a bit more original when choosing cover versions. ‘Borstal Breakout’ is a classic song, but played by so many over the years. Still, this didn't detract from the sterling performance. When it comes to energy however, look no further than Jeff Turner, who would put many a younger man to shame with his on-stage mobility. I get exhausted just watching! It has to be said the Rejects are on fire, launching into song after song of their classic repertoire with keen audience participation. Everyone agrees that it’s a top night brought to a fitting end. Until the after-show high-jinx begin. One individual who charmed a girl back to his hotel room. Said girl then decided that she wasn't about to play to hide the sausage in a room full of blokes. But her suitor can’t have been that bothered because by morning he had forgotten he'd even brought her back. His identity will remain secret as long as the crates of Grolsch turned up as agreed. Chelsea Dom, News At Ten, Sober.

May 4. May the forth be with you... sorry about that. We’re still waiting for the live review from Amsterdam Rebellion; unfortunately our ace reporter Chelsea Dom hasn’t sobered up long enough to file his report. It’s an absolute bloody disgrace and frankly we’d fire him... if we were actually paying him in the first place. Anyhoo, we hear the Rejects went down like Bin Laden...

In the meantime, our sophisticated new skinhead correspondent Tonbridge Tracey asks us to plug the latest Club Skank do which takes place this Saturday from 8pm till 2am, and promises “a night of ska, rocksteady and skinhead reggae for £5”. Bargain! It’s at the Cellar Bar, Command House, Dock Road, Chatham, Kent. And if you don’t fancy that, then the Beat and the Coverup are on down the road at the Beacon Court Tavern in Gillingham.

Oh dear, the PM is feeling chuffed after being befriended by Lars Frederiksen on Facebook. We haven’t got the heart to tell him that this ‘Lars’ is actually a love-struck imposter, a six foot transvestite lorry-driver who likes to call himself Laura and whose plans to invite the PM around to his/hers for a bottle of wine, a small ‘roofie’ and an “album playback” may well end in tears...Strap up! The consequences could be calamitous and someone should warn him but we’ve got things to do, you know how it is...

More skin-driven din: The Big40 Events in association with Big Shot sound system proudly present the second ‘Skinhead Uprising’ in Cardiff on Saturday 28th May. Tickets £6.00 in advance only. For ticket info, please go to And don’t forget The Great Skinhead Reunion beano is on Saturday, June 11 from 12:00noon - 11:30pm at the Volks Bar in Brighton; it’s a free event with DJ, bands and fish ‘n’ chips (Wot? No whelks? – Fat Col). The organisers say: ‘All are welcome, this event is strictly for fun, but don’t come if you feel you don’t want to meet new friends and people of all backgrounds.”

Oi - The AV Debate at the weekend was a bit of a wash-out, according to Effete El who tells us: “The ELF representative went first and basically said, ‘No to AV, yes to proportional representation’; then Fat Col for the RCPSA got up and said he agreed absolutely, so we all went down the pub and got pissed.” You don’t get that on Question Time.

Quick reminder, the big Help4Heroes event is on May 28th and 29th at the Golden Swift in Harlow featuring The Last Resort, 16 Guns, the Pharoahs, the Cobras, the Black Marias, the Noxious Toyz, Killing Seymour, the Uppercuts and many more. Plus DJs, a merch stall, memorabilia, bbqs etc. Great line-up, great cause.

May 3. Has anyone seen FB? He was last spotted several days ago, chasing a fireman (long story). We think they might both be stuck up a ladder.