Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation. As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.
THE GONADS! CHARLTON! SOUTH LONDON! STREET ROCK N ROLL! COCKNEY CULTURE! COCKNEY ROCK! OI-TONE! SKA! BEER! CURRY! WORKERS’ RIGHTS! FLAG-GIRLS! ENGLAND! OI OI OI! THIS IS WHO WE ARE!
June 30. It’s time for this month’s Gonad On The Spot – your questions to Gal. (You can ask your own posers by email to email@example.com) Q1. Will your live ‘one-man’ shows actually happen next year and what will they entail? G: “There is no reason why they shouldn’t. Covid restrictions are likely to be an unpleasant distant memory by 2022 – like Paul Devine (round-dodger) or the after-taste of the Yeti. The shows will come in a number of formats ranging from literarily one man – me on my Tod – to me & the full GB Experience with band and support. And once we get to the London Palladium, showgirls!… Just kidding. I’m not aiming for the Palladium. More the Mirage Theatre, Las Vegas… Whatever the format, audiences will get a chance to ask questions. In the meantime, Gonads shows are proceeding with Covid restrictions. The next gig is the Great Welling Beer Festival on 24th July and we’re trying to confirm dates in the North East for August.”
Q2. Do you regret leaving Sounds when you did? G: “What would be the point of that? You can’t change the past, so there’s nothing to be gained from obsessing about it. I don’t regret quitting Sounds. I suppose it was a bit nuts to leave without having anywhere to go, but you have to take a gamble every now and then otherwise you never achieve anything. I could reel off a list of bands I’d have liked to have interviewed if I hadn’t left, but that seems pretty pointless too.”
Q3. What’s happened with the Benny Hill statue campaign? G: “It’s been derailed by Covid, like everything else, but there will be fund-raising events as soon as possible.”
June 29. STOP PRESS: It’s coming home, it’s coming home…
June 29. Here are some of the dirty dozen who revived the Punk Rock Curry Club last night, including the Anti Nowhere League, Steve Whale, Max Spartan, Gal, big E, Mandy Crow, Jan Janet Janine and more out of shot. The spirit of Fatty Lol also materialised in a vision to give his blessing from afar. Punk Rock never stops. And nor do the effects of Chicken Madras. Sorry, gotta dash…
June 28. So sad to hear that Lord Zion from Spit Like This passed away last month. The singer, who was 48, died of a brain haemorrhage two weeks after having the Oxford/AZ vaccine. A rare complication meant he fell ill with an agonising headache eight days after having the first jab and died at Royal Victoria Infirmary, Newcastle, on 19th May. His liver and kidneys were donated to save others. Our condolences to Vikki Spit and to Zion’s family.
June 27. Three Chords & The Truth is now on YouTube, and we’ve just demoed Sir Ska-A-Lot which is lined up to be on a compilation album next year…
June 26. Team Wattsie have hit back at Millwall Nige with a point-by-point rebuttal of his eloquent defence. The key flaw in his argument is that Franken-Skin ISN’T supposed to be a would-be world-conquering figure of hate. He’s actually a misunderstood skinhead resurrected by “the Baron” who only turns to violence when the mob attack the lab and slaughter the scientist. “He’s an avenger, not an offender,” sniffs Wattsie’s advisor Effete El, adding, “Case closed.”
Fat Col, doing stand-up last night in Plumstead, surprised his audience by defending Matt Hancock. “He didn’t break Covid rules,” said Col. “Most of the time his girlfriend’s ankles were definitely two metres apart.”
News. Killing Joke will tour the UK in 2022, starting in March.
June 24. Lawyers acting for Wattsie Watts are threatening legal action against the band unless we agree to BAN Millwall Nige from ever playing the part of the Franken-Skin on stage with us again. Nige’s outrageous suggestions on Friday made Wattsie threaten to quit the Gonads for good. However, an unrepentant Nige told the blog, “I was merely trying to flesh out the character and add depth. As a trained thespian, I relish playing villainous parts, and you don’t get many as terrifying as the Franken-Skin. He’s magnetic! As soon as I put on the mask everything clicked. I felt I could be him, move like him and terrorise people like him.” Speaking to us exclusively from his ‘actor’s workshop’ (the saloon bar of the Alma public house), Nige continued: “Watching previous ‘Frankies’ on YouTube I was struck by how dumbed-down you had let him become. This is an intensely evil creature not a lumbering buffoon. My remit was to breathe fresh life into him, to push the beast to the limit of wickedness and really do him justice. On record he inspires fear, he’s histrionic, with his stabbing finger, sweeping arms and manic stare. I attempted to capture that intensity and play him as a psychotic, almost demonic character. Your lyrics try to belittle him, but the Franken-Skin wouldn’t take that. When I think of him, I hear the roughness of his voice, with its coarse Austrian accent, and the fluency of his gestures… I put myself inside his head. He wasn’t stupid. He’d slaughtered hundreds, he wanted to conquer the world. That’s why ‘he’ said those vile things to Wattsie. He isn’t supposed to be ‘nice’. I can identify with his energy and belief, though not his murderous tendencies. I didn’t really want to thrust myself upon Ms Wattsie, ravish her and dispose of her, as he would have done, just to convey the moral turpitude in the creature’s heart and soul.” Blimey.
June 23. Here’s last night’s new Sounds Of Glory on Mixcloud featuring The Clash, Leatherface, Golden Earring, The Zombies, IDestroy, The Jam, Ramones, The Gonads (Three Chords & The Truth), Love Affair, The Take, The Interrupters, The Specials, Seaside Rebels, Graveltones, Leah McCaffrey, The Adverts, Street Dogs, Rancid, Be Bop Deluxe and the Grand Old Raspberry Ian Dury… More soon.
June 22. Sounds Of Glory returns to 2nd City Radio TONIGHT at 11pm. Even better, it will feature the first ever radio play of our new single Three Chords & The Truth. Check back tomorrow for the Mixtape link.
June 19. Cheers to everyone who made it down to the New Cross Inn last night. It felt great playing live again, even if the all-seated set-up wasn’t ideal. Apologies to la belle Wattsie for the Franken-Skin’s perverted cravings. (See how restrained we’ve become? In the good old days you would have got chapter and verse of that particular scandal…) The set was: 1) Lager Top 2) Jobs Not Jails 3) I Lost My Love To A UK Sub 4) Oi Mate 5) Grant Mitchell 6) Beano 7) Buy Me A Drink You Bastards 8) Federales (live for the first time) 9) Yeti 10) Dance Fat Boy Dance 11) What’s Happening Now? 12) Charlton Boys played as England Boys 13) Punk Rock Will Never Die 14) Alconaut 15) Getting Pissed 16) SE7 Dole Day 17) Skinhead Girl 18) Tuckers’ Ruckers Ain’t No Suckers. Encore: Punk Rock Till I Die/Joys Of Oi. Next stop: Welling Beer Festival… where Beer Can Boogie will surely join the set…
Record News: The Bad Brains’ self-titled debut album, originally released only on cassette by ROIR has been re-issued on CD by Bad Brains Records… the three-album Trojan Records set, The Trojan Story has been released in a fantastic 50th anniversary package including a 50page book written by Rob Bell, the compilation’s original compiler… and Teenage Bottlerocket will be releasing a new album, Sick Sesh! On 27th August via Fat Wreck Chords.
June 18. There are last minute changes to tonight’s show. We’re still on at 10pm, after the football, but Cato Street Conspiracy will be on at 7.30, and Dog Rotten will play at 8.30 with the game as a back projection.
Comic book news: the Motörhead story has been turned into a 144page graphic novel – Motörhead: The Rise Of The Loudest Band In The World: The Authorized Graphic Novel by David Calcano and Mark Irwin (not our Mark ‘McMighty’ Irwin). It will be published by Simon & Schuster in hardcover on 7th September 7… the SuperYob cartoon strip from the much-missed Street Sounds will also be published as a complete collection which will include unseen instalments of the mag’s other strip, Neville Staple – Specials Agent, as a bonus feature. Expect it around October time.
June 16. New book Grammar Free In The UK, a collection of very silly letters to legendary British punk, Oi, pathetique & anarcho-punk artistes (and some newer ones) with very funny replies, came out this week and is making a lot of people very happy. We are in there discussing Karl Marx at Millwall’s Den and demonstrating beyond reasonable doubt that Danny Baker is over 100 years old. A donation from the profits of each copy goes to homeless charities. Cop some of it here.
June 13. Rehearsing in Dartford today…
June 12. Rest assured that next Friday's New Cross Inn gig is on. Some have expressed fears that it's been cancelled because it doesn't appear to feature on the venue's listings. But tough-talking Martin Sporrell tells us that this is "just bog-standard incompetence rather than proof of cancellation or conspiracy".
Whispers and rumours: Gal and Clyde are working on an exciting new project with Seattle street-punk hero Rev from The Drowns; we'll tell you what it is if it comes to fruition... Gal's book on the New Wave of Heavy Metal is now said to have a July release date, but don't hold your breath; GB does however assure us that there will be a new Sounds Of Glory radio show some time later this month... there is real progress too on the big Unity Project...
In actual news: The new UB40 album, Bigga Baggariddim, featuring guest turns from Tippa Ire, Winston Francis and New Zealand's incredible roots reggae combo House Of Shem among others, is released on Friday week (25th June)... Garbage's No Gods No Masters is out now... Hestia, the new album from the Rumjacks is released on Sunday; it's their fifth studio album and introduces new vocalist (and songwriter) Mike Rivkees... AC/DC have just posted a new video for Witch's Spell... and singer Brian Johnson publishes his autobiography The Lives of Brian in October.
June 11. The strictly serious squad's hold on this blog has been strengthened after Martin Sporrell (aggressive gooner) today threw out a bid by Fat Col to publish a detailed list of "traitors, time-wasters and twats" on these pages. Col raged that people who "transgressed the unwritten laws... should be named and shamed". Big Mart replied: "Maybe so, but not here." A close escape for "that two-faced toilet" ((c)Fat Col) ****** *******.
June 6. New Cross Inn update: we will go on straight after the England v Scotland game on 18th June, and our support bands will play on into the midnight hour. Doors open at 6pm. The match will be screened in full. Tickets a mere eight sovs in advance. Get in quick, it’s almost sold out.
We are planning a number of North East gigs in August/September. Watch this space for details.
June 5. Record news – out now on vinyl, the 45 Adaptors’ 15track Collected Works Volume One (Pirates Press); Sick Of It All’s self-titled 8-song debut EP has been reissued by Revelation Records on bone coloured vinyl; the Circle Jerks’ 40th anniversary re-issue of Group Sex is available on yellow vinyl from Trust Records; and Suzi Moon’s 3-track debut EP, I’m Not A Man (Pirates Press) was released yesterday.
June 3. Our brand new single THREE CHORDS & THE TRUTH is out tomorrow. The B-side is a post-Covid anthem by the SkaNads called SO GLAD TO BE ALIVE – the first new SkaNads track since Rude Boy On The Rise. The single will be released electronically at first but the songs may come out on vinyl too in the months ahead.
June 2. Intriguing news. Gal has got the go-ahead for his big Unity Project. This will start with an album he’s compiling consisting of street punk bands recording Ska songs and Ska bands recording punk ones (originals or covers). Interested bands should contact him directly, but giddy up – there’s only room for twelve tracks. Expect a release in the first half of 2022.
June 1. We’ve started writing a brand-new studio album with the working title Revolution Now. It’s due out on vinyl next April and will be “pure punk, politically assertive and hard as nails”. Assistant manager Martin Sporrell (aggressive gooner) explains, “The Gonads have gone back to their roots, which means, among other things, that we are firmly endorsing a cultural revolution to BOOT open the door for working class art, stories and voices.” Incredible, game-changing developments are in the pipeline, he says, adding, “The only things stopping the Gonads from headlining Glastonbury next year are a simple lack of talent, will-power, dedication and festival-friendly songs”.
Here we are rehearsing, and definitely not dogging, in Dartford at the weekend. The 18song strong set packs in favourites old and new – including Federales.