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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

June 30. Crimewatch: Randy Blythe, the singer of U.S. death metal band Lamb of God has been nicked in Prague in connection to the death of a fan during a concert in 2010. Blythe, 41, was arrested on Wednesday after being called in for questioning before a show on Thursday night. The vocalist is accused of causing bodily harm resulting in the fan dying two years ago in the Czech capitol. Meanwhile a PA working for U2 bassist Adam Clayton has been found guilty of stealing £2.2 million from him. Carol Hawkins was found guilty of embezzlement by a jury at Dublin's Circuit Criminal Court yesterday after she they unanimously decided she had committed 181 acts of theft from Clayton's bank account over four years. Carol, 48, has been released on bail until sentencing on July 6, with Judge Patrick McCartan telling the jury: "The evidence in this case was overwhelming. Nobody could seriously disagree with the verdict you have given." Clayton had originally employed Hawkins as a housekeeper and book-keeper and her then husband as a driver and occasional chef, paying them a joint salary of £38,725. When the couple separated in 2007, big-hearted Adam continued to pay her the joint salary. In more bad news, U2 are also working on a new album.

Here's Paul Hallam auditioning security for the Arkwrights gig - Darren Hamilton should do the trick... Are we the firm or are we the firm?

The Gonads Website

Beast TV continues apace. This week, Gal, Fat Col and Mickey Pugh were filmed at a private party for a Holler Watch launch in Abridge, Essex, along with Dave 'Boy' Green, Ron 'Chopper' Harris, and X Factor rebel Steve Brookstein. What’s it all about? It's too early to say, but fists have already flown, romance is in the air like the Nosher’s legs, and the Beast is convinced he's on to a "reality TV winner". PS. Fat Col asks: "If you pulled Nicki Minaj and her Mum, would it be a Minaj a trois?"

Last night's Stone Roses' come-back set-list in full: 'I Wanna Be Adored', 'Mersey Paradise', 'Sugar Spun Sister', 'Sally Cinnamon', 'Where Angels Play', 'Shoot You Down', 'Bye Bye Badman', 'Ten Storey Love Song', 'Standing Here', 'Fool's Gold', 'Something's Burning', 'Waterfall', 'Don't Stop', 'Love Spreads', 'Made Of Stone', 'This Is The One', 'She Bangs The Drum', 'Elizabeth My Dear', 'I Am The Resurrection'

Ska News: David Hillyard of The Slackers has reformed The Rocksteady 7 for a new single... The Selecter play the Tolpuddle Marchers Rally on 15th July... Suggs from Madness will talk about his Scottish Dad's heroin addiction at a one-man show at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. His dad deserted his mum Edith when Suggs was three. He died of a drug overdose in 1975 aged just 40. At his lowest ebb, he had injected his eyeballs with paraffin and was sectioned in an asylum in Tooting Bec. Suggs, real name Graham McPherson, also reveals that the band were disappointed with what they found on the roof of Buckingham Palace at the Jubilee Concert. He joked: "It’s all lead up there and that's no use. The Chinese are after zinc these days.”

June 28. STOP PRESS: the Arkwrights gig featuring the SkaNads and the original East End Badoes in August has now completely sold out. Tottenham Sean and Paul Hallam will be DJing. Mickey Pugh is compere. The first round is on Eddie Piller.

*OUR mates Status Quo are making an action film called Bula Quo! The movie tagline is: ‘It started with guitars... and ended with guns!’ (Which sounds a lot like our last US tour – seriously!). Apparently filming is running about as smooth as Patti Smith’s legs due to the copious amounts of the old River Ooze that have been flowing. Which also sounds like our last US tour... Also no promises, but Curry On Up The Gonads is now in pre-production (i.e. we’ve got everything we need to make it except the investment...which was carelessly left in a NatWest bank)

Quick Cockney Rejects update. ‘East End Babylon’ should be on cinema release in October, at the same time as the band’s UK tour and their new album. The lads have also announced the first ever “Cockney Rejects Convention” which will be held at BH2 in Canning Town on Sept 8th. Jeff says the night will be a “right royal knees-up” (In the groin? – Ed) with special guest band Southside Rebellion who Mick and Jeff are promising to jump up with. They’ll be supported by local band East End Promises. Tickets cost £6 and are limited due to the venue size, so dive in fast if you fancy it. Jeff promises it’ll be “a special night” and “a coming together of fans and friends.” Rumours that there will be a second night reserved for Jeff’s ex’s are untrue and unworthy of repetition. The Rejects’ UK tour kicks off at Manchester Club Arena on Oct 5th followed by London 100 Club 6/10, Leicester Academy 2 7/10, Brighton Concorde 2 9/10, Norwich Waterfront 10/10, Oxford Academy 2 11/10, Sheffield Academy 2 12/10, AFC Wimbledon 1/12, Glasgow Barrowlands 2/12 (with Rancid), Liverpool 02 Academy (with Rancid) 3/12. For full dates, including USA, Belgium and Norway go here.

Great Aussie ruck’n’roll band Rust play the 12 Bar on July 31, with Monkish, Maximum RnR + The Derita Sisters – all for a Jacks on the door.

A person (or persons) unknown, with hand-writing remarkably like The Bitch’s, has submitted this “horror shot” of Chelsea Dom, claiming the former Badoes bassist and our own guest reviewer has “more chins than a Chinese phone book” and is “turning into Desperate Dan – or should I say Desperate Dom.” But we can report that Dom is far from desperate having struck up an amorous relationship with vocalist Mandy Shaw from the Mere Dead Men – the other victim of that shock water bomb attack in old Berlin. So at least some good came of that horrific incident. All hail Lee Wilson: prankster turned matchmaker. Allegedly.

The Gonads Website

The Oi Organising Committee has condemned "without reservation" the use of Blood & Honour as ‘security’ at gigs. They issued the following statement: "Using Nazis as security is never good, but using them at a Help4Heroes event as happened recently in the West Country is absolutely outrageous - and insulting to the memory of the British and Commonwealth servicemen who perished fighting to stop the Nazi war machine." They go on: "People have very short memories. The Nazis' only contribution to the Oi scene in the early eighties was to attack it, just as they did the Ruts, Bad Manners, Sham and many more. They are only sniffing around now because their own pathetic little scene is dying on its arse. There can be no "unity" with Nazis any more than there can be unity with cancer or syphilis. Promoters who use them should be blacklisted by anyone who cares about our music."

June 25. Sandra Lane writes: We’ve got some proper Gonads news today folks. The brand new Gonads’ track ‘Glorious’ will now feature on the next ‘Hooligans Classics’ split e.p. with Iron Cross, Stomper 98 and the Old Firm Casuals. It will be released by Germany’s mighty Randale Records later this year. The song, written by the Nads dream team of Gal and Clyde Ward, was finished at the weekend. An ecstatic Wattsie Watts who heard the studio playback says: “It’s the best football stadium anthem since ‘Three Lions’.” Meanwhile, our split e.p. with the Uprisers will now feature ‘Harry May’s Revenge’ and the blistering ‘We Are The Boys’ and will be released by Skinflint Records in the USA before Christmas.

June 24. The SkaNads hit the studio today and completed their “outrageous” four-track debut e.p. The record will consist of brand new Ska numbers ‘Beer Can’, ‘Threes Up’, ‘It’s Getting Harder’ and ‘Avoid The Vexation Of Women.’ Special guests included Jennie Bellestar, who was press-ganged into singing ‘It’s Getting Harder’ and Dave Barker of reggae legends Dave & Ansell Collins who contributed to ‘Avoid The Vexation Of Women.’ The SkaNads studio line-up was Gal (vocals), McMighty (guitar and vocals), Gentleman John Woodward (bass), Connor O’Mara (drums) and Wattsie Watts (vocals). Gal was heard apologising to Jennie for the “filthy” nature of ‘It’s Getting Harder’ only for traumatised co-producer Pat Collier to ask: “How about saying sorry to me?” FB, who co-ordinated the operation with impressive foresight, said: “It was a tremendous job, everyone was fully prepared and they worked their arses off. Songs were recorded at a rate of one an hour and the results are seriously impressive.” He went on: “The SkaNads and the Gonads are two entirely separate bands and should remain that way.” Plans are now afoot for a Skanads album and select gigs, about which more will be heard in September.

Fat Col reports: Blindin’ Giffer punks Long Tall Shorty are back from their temporary hiatus to play Guilfest next month – on the same day as Olly Murs and Sinitta! Jimmy Cliff, the Wurzels and the Buzzcocks are among the other exciting faces livening up the three-day bill, along with Gary ‘Fuckin’ Numan and a load of other ****s.

June 23. Sandy Lane writes: In solidarity with Russian feminist punk group Pussy Riot, currently languishing in a Moscow jail, Anti-Flag have recorded a “punk prayer” called ‘Virgin Mary, Redeem Us Of Putin’. The words won’t play that well with the Kremlin, targeting ‘The Church’s praise of rotten dictators’ and ending with ‘Virgin Mary, mother of God, put Putin away.’

Talking of punk protest, we should have written up Punk By The Sea before now. The 4-dayer down at Southsea was scheduled to take place over the Jubilee weekend earlier this month. When the promoters cancelled it, in true punk spirit the bands went ahead and staged the festival anyway. Various members of the UK Subs, the Lurkers and 999 joined Vice Squad (pictured below), the Defects and more to put on a night to remember at pilchard-packed local pub the Milton Arms. And Sham 69 (the real ones) closed the show with a barnstorming performance. Phil Badoe tells us “This was the true punk spirit, a million miles away from the mercenary racket of commercialised punk festivals.” See, that’s what can happen when the (elderly) kids are united!

The Gonads Website

Gal is in the studio with his SkaNads and special guest Jennie Bellestar recording the spin-off band’s debut ep this weekend. The rumour that Jen needed a shower after reading the lyrics (said to be “in the spirit of Judge Dread”) can only be confirmed by our picture.

The Gonads Website

Record news: out this week, the new Dopamines album ‘Vices’ (It’s Alive Records), which is as catchy as pop-punk gets. Also Mute’s ‘Thunderblast’ album is now out on vinyl. Finally there has been a victory for the Gonads in the band’s battle to prevent Martin Sporrell from releasing his unofficial bootleg compilation. After hiring a QC, the Beast has successfully secured an injunction to stop the unauthorised record from ever seeing the light of day. This should be the end of the matter.

June 22. Fat Col here, just passing through with the news that Infa-Riot will support Rancid at their Norwich show on December 10... And reggae legend Jimmy Cliff has announced that his new album will be called Rebirth and will be released on July 17th via Universal. To be honest I’m pissed off with the Gonads at the moment as someone (probably the Beast) keeps deleting my news about the bootleg album from the Nads facebook page but he will not stop it coming out. For this reason alone I pass on the view that the current Gonads line-up are “the ugliest band in punk” – and that ain’t a narrow field! These Gonads are so ugly, their roadies get laid first. And I should know! Oi! Oi!

PS. Me or Sandra will stop by next week to let you know how the SkaNads recordings went. Have a good’un. Come on England!

June 19. Available soon... Charlton Boys – the badge!

The Gonads Website

New York calling... (André gets through more band members than Patsy Kensit)

The Gonads Website

June 17. Hi, Sandra Lane here. I’m just dropping by to let you know that the global ‘Boot-girl Power’ issue of Jenny Woo’s fanzine Subculture Spirit is out now, with various interesting interviews on the subject of women in the Oi, Punk and Skinhead scenes. Jenny chats to Louise Distras, Slick 46 singer Flea, Paul Benschop (, Inkie Skyes, French fanzine writer Audrey, Romanian zine writer Cristina, Swedish skin-bird Tulva-Li, Hope Mayamadd from Skinbyrd Pinups, a chap called Klaus (sorry, don’t know who he is) and our own Gal Gonad. Strangely Fat Col’s views were not sought, but that’s what happens when you’re a SEXIST PIG! This fifth edition of Subculture Spirit also features interviews with NOi!se and an in-depth feature about the Gonads, plus reviews, a history of Ska, a Northern Soul Top Ten, and a quick guide to the Oi! scene in Ottawa. I’m a huge fan of Jenny Woo, she really is doing something different; she loves Oi and its culture and her fanzine has brains. Anyone who wants to buy a copy should email Deals can be done when buying ten copies or more. Back issues 1, 2, and 3 are still available.

The Gonads Website

June 15. While the band are away, Fat Col doth play! Yes, it's Fat Col here, people, back setting the controls for the heart of this blog!! I ain't going to be on here every day because I'm a busy man with things to do and people to see, as you know, but I have got some good things to tell you. For starters Arkwright's is almost sold out, and me and FB sat in at the rehearsal session for the SkaNads ep last weekend and all I can say is, the spirit of Judge Dread lives! FB is also quietly beavering away on various Gonads projects for next year, including the long-threatened Nads-Fest, a Gonads annual, and a show for British forces in Afghanistan – although that is proving more difficult to set up than we anticipated. The troops want us, officialdom don’t. But anyway, here's a pic of Mick Maverick when he was in the RGJ – the reason the Gonads don’t need security! Oi, Oi!

The Gonads Website

News: It’s the 13th anniversary of the death of Screaming Lord Sutch tomorrow and to celebrate his loony legacy, bookies William Hill and Loony Party stalwart, Lord Toby Jug, have teamed up with our mates at the Heritage Foundation to erect a blue plaque to commemorate his life. This will take place at the Ace Cafe on Sunday, November 4 (six days before what would have been his 72nd birthday). Spectators will be welcome.

Also newsworthy, the Addicts release a new album called All The Young Droogs in September. Alice Cooper plays seven UK shows in October. Pathetique pioneer Wavis O’Shave has posted a new song on YouTube - 'Sunspots On The Moon'. It’s crap of course, so well done Wavis for keeping the pathetique tradition alive! And finally RIP to comedian Tony Gerrard, the funny fecker in the wheelchair who was about as PC as my pock-marked arse. PS Friend me up on Facebook if you wanna know more about a certain controversial bootleg...Up the Addicks!

June 13. The band may be on a break, but Gonads fans aren’t relaxing. Kent-based Nads fanatics Rob, Billy, Dan and Jez tell us they have formed a club called the Jolly Boys. Says Jez: “Years ago you had the Glory Boys and the Finchley Boys following bands like Secret Affair and the Stranglers. Well the Jolly Boys are doing the same for the Gonads, only we don’t fight – we just get pissed.” The Jolly Boys are pledged to “get Jollied up” whenever and wherever Gonads music is played. Their favourite songs, almost inevitably are ‘Lager Louts’, ‘Rose & Crown’ and ‘Getting Pissed.”

We hear that The Cockney Rejects will play with Rancid in Glasgow and Liverpool in December, dates to be announced. Rancid also play Birmingham with Sparrer on December 8th. The Rejects album will be released just before their UK tour in October, and here’s a brand new Rejects song as a taster - ‘Your Country Needs You’:

Our mates Buster Shuffle had their album launch at the 100 Club last night. Called ‘Do Nothing’ it’s a breezy mix of pop and Ska; “like a modern Madness” says Sandy Lane who was there.

Holograms of the immortal Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison are being developed – inspired by the success of Tupac at Coachella. So why not Joe Strummer, JJ Bedsore, Nidge from Blitz and the lost Ramones???

NME has finally apologised to Morrissey for implying he was a racist; now how about saying sorry for the shit you wrote about Oi?

New Madball song, ‘My Blood’ up here.

June 11, blog update: Gal’s side-project The SkaNads demoed the four “very tasty” songs for their debut ep at Nads HQ yesterday, on FB’s portable studio, and a jolly time was had by all. We’re told the only downside was the slightly less tasty Sunday roast dinner, cooked by Gal, which according to FB “came with stuffing that looked more like fried muesli.” The confirmed ep tracks will be: ‘Threes Up’ (written by Gal and King Hammond), ‘Harder’ (Gal/McMighty), ‘Beer Can Ska’ (written by Gal, McMighty and Steve Whale) and the apparently controversial ‘Avoid The Vexation Of Women’ (Gal). All will be properly recorded at the end of this month and released on vinyl by Randale in the autumn. More details will follow.

The East End Badoes ‘Poplar Boys’ ep will be now be released in August, and the Arkwright’s gig will double as its official launch party. Unfortunately the gig clashes with one of South Coast Steve’s prior engagements (psychiatric tests? - Ed); he’ll be “away with the Outcasts” (which is what he calls his nurses – Ed) and so the Gonads will be replaced on the bill by the SkaNads. Efforts are being made to get Garry Johnson along as compere. Tickets will be available by the middle of next week, but only from the organisers Skully and Fat Col (so please don’t ask Gal or Tel).

Sandy Lane has stepped in to cover record news over the next few months while this blog is officially ‘chillaxing’. Here is her guide to what’s hot this week: Morning Glory will be releasing their first Fat Wreck Chords album, called Poets Were My Heroes, in August. The Avengers’ debut album ‘The Avengers’ is out now. The Californians were one of the first-ever Yank punk bands – these songs date back to 77/8 - and definitely the first with a female singer. Love ya, Penelope! Plus, the Old Firm Casuals’ split single with Italy’s Klasse Kriminale featuring two new songs from each band has been out for a week care of Randale, who have also released the new single from German Oi band Gewohnheitstrinker (it means piss-artist) called ‘Deutschland Von Unten’ – that sounds a bit dodgy to me but don’t worry, it could be a Euros prediction as it means Germany going down (Makes a change from the Nosher – Fat Col). Fans of US streetpunk will be delighted to learn that the new Bouncing Souls album ‘Comet’ is as “cushty” as always. Meanwhile Hostage Calm have announced that they’ll release an album called ‘Please Remain Calm’ in the Autumn.

Random goss: Taylor Higgins of the Foo Fighters will play Iggy Pop in the new movie, CBGB. Allyson Maverick, fresh from the Download Festival reports that the Cockney Rejects were “bloody brilliant” and “went down a storm.” Sabbath, she adds were “awesome.”

We’re worried about dear old Charlton Tel who is selling up, leaving south east London and buying a caravan on the Kent coast. According to Fat Col, Tel will be “telling fortunes and flogging lucky heather by Christmas.” (Lucky Heather – masochistic Ed).

A rare Sex Pistols 7'' vinyl single sold over the weekend for £12,860 at auction. The 35-year-old 7 inch promotional acetate featuring 'God Save the Queen' b/w 'No Feelings' is on the L.T.S label – and is one of only two copies known to exist. Says the Beast: “This is yet another reason why Martin Sporrell should be dissuaded from releasing the original recording of ‘Stroke My Beachcomber’ on his threatened bootleg. The acetate of that Gonads rarity has already attracted a £500 bid from David ‘Dizzy’ Holmes.” Aggressive gooner Sporrell is remaining tight-lipped (some might say pig-headed, but never to his face), but his pal FB said: “How on earth can making the song available to collectors for the first time in 35 years effect the value of the acetate adversely? Not for the first time me learned friend the Beast is talking out of his arse.”

BREAKING NEWS: 1) Wattsie Watts has joined The SkaNads. 2) Cass Pennant will do security at the Arkwright’s secret gig (Gonads + East End Badoes) 3) Gal’s latest podcast is now up here - featuring great tracks from Loudmouth, the Cockney Rejects, Buster Shuffle, The Stone Foundation, Red Alert, the Uppercuts and many more; studio guests are Louise Distras and King Hammond (the Sovereign of Ska). If you listen quickly enough, you’ll hear the repeated intro cock-up at the start...

The Gonads Website

June 5. Here’s Gal showing off his brand new tattoo - Ska man Mr. Walt Jabsco as inked by Darryl Gates of Diamond Jack’s in Soho. Ace reporter Bev Elliott and her other half Mr. Jimi breezed in to enjoy his pain and to reveal that the Punk Rock Bowling results were – winners: Hookers & Blow, 2nd: Tina’s Nightmare, 3rd: Modern Action Squad. The Rejects were “ace,” Bev reliably informs us. And here’s a taster of the boys, Youth Brigade and the Generators live in Las Vegas!

The Gonads Website

Here are some of this year’s Punk Rock Bowling contenders...

The Gonads Website
1) Rebel Music TV

The Gonads Website
2) Bomb Pops

The Gonads Website
3) 912 Records

The Gonads Website
4) And here’s Bev’s own team the London Gutterball Punks
– they were originally supposed to consist of Bev, Max Splodge, Eddie Tenpole and Charlie Harper...
but inevitably she’s the only lairy Londoner left, Jimi being German, Josh a Yank and Randi
a gorgeous Canadian tattoo artist. Next year - Team Gonads!

STOP PRESS! Lord Waistrel has been in touch after popping into the UK to fly one of the Spitfires in the Jubilee fly-past. His Lordship ain’t happy. In fact, if this blog were a tabloid newspaper, the story would read: ‘ARISTO CRACKS! Furious Waistrel BANS the Bitch from insulting friends of this band on this page, CHASTISES blog editor for allowing it to happen, and BANS band members from drinking more than a two-drink maximum before performances.’ Over a gruelling two-hour bollocking, his Lordship also ORDERED FB and The Beast to secure “more better-paid, above-board gigs”, BANNED us from playing any shows that are un-contracted, and DEMANDED “high quality flag-girls at every performance.” Pressed on the drinking ban, his Lordship decreed “drinking more than two pints before a show is tantamount to you handing in your notice.” He then flew off back to Barbados to finish his modest nine months of tax exile.

June 3. Luvly Jubilee, as Del-Boy would say. The Harlow Help4Heroes bash went spiffingly, despite the iffy weather. Thanks to diamond (Jubilee) geezer Stief for organising it and for joining us both as FrankenSkin and for the rabble-rousing encore of ‘Valhallaballoo’. Yay! Punk ain’t dead, it just smells a bit funny. The set was pretty much as normal apart from the triumphant re-introduction of ‘SE7 Dole Day’ with la belle Wattsie Watts sharing vocal duties. Thanks too to Troy boy for introducing us, and for switching off Gal’s vocal microphone – a big improvement, without a doubt. And top marks to Allyson Mav for jumping straight in when it, very briefly, kicked off in the pub. To paraphrase the Duke of Wellington, we don’t know what she does to the enemy but by God she frightens us. Other than that, it was a good night all round. If we get any pix we’ll post them below. If we don’t, we won’t. That’s how we roll, baby. We’d also like to respectfully suggest that Wattsie launches her own Shona-Roamer SatNav system, guaranteed to take you the scenic route home no matter how bloody knackered you are. (But keep wearing that Union Jack bra and we’ll forgive you anything, darlin’...) P.S. God save the Queen.

Yes, Wattsie came to Harlow in a Union Jack bra. She wasn’t that amused when Gal offered her a pole for it.

The Gonads Website
Troi Boi on the Help 4 Heroes stage

The Gonads Website
Stief with the Noxious Toyz before his scarifying stint as FrankenSkin

The Gonads Website
Christine ‘Sugary’ Coffee – stirring

The Gonads Website
Gal nods off dreaming of Wattsie’s diamond boobilees

Buster Blooodvessel’s forces charity e.p. is available as a download again. That includes: 'Ska For Heroes' by Buster's Ska Battalion + 'Long Ska Summer' by the Gonads featuring Jennie Bellestar, + 'Cheeky Chappie' by the Gonads vs the Cover-up – all three tracks for £2.07 from here, plus iTunes, HMV etc etc. The four-track vinyl version will be released later this year, and all proceeds will go to Help4Heroes and the Erskine Hospital - caring for veterans since 1916.

Oi – The News! Gal is over-seeing and editing the definitive book on Oi-Oi music. If you have early pictures, gig posters or memorabilia particularly from 1980/1, from anywhere in the world, please send them to Mr. Gonad has also, we can now reveal, been brought in to mastermind a compilation of ‘all the best contemporary UK Ska acts’, due out in October.

A few of you have been asking about future Gonads recordings. The bad news is we will not be releasing any more official albums until Christmas 2013; the good news is that by then there could be not one but TWO pukka Nads CDs up for grabs – the all-new studio album, Dirty, and the third and final Greater Hits recording, Volume 3: The Complete Cobblers (WT), which is guaranteed to feature ‘Harry May’s Revenge’, ‘Backstreet Army’, the blistering ‘Back & Barking’, ‘Eat The Rich’, ‘Beer – The Opera’ and the full-length version of ‘England’s Glory’ among other much sought-after, top-notch gems. There has also been loose talk of a Mutt’s Nuts Extra ep but nothing is confirmed yet. Dirty is “as loud as fuck” and will include brand new anthems such as ‘They Died Heroes’, ‘Oblivion’, and the awesome ‘Son Of FrankenSkin’ which, according to Fit Bird is “’eavier than Fat Col in concrete Docs.” So wait for these please, and do not buy this dodgy bootleg (if Sporrell persists with releasing it).

People seem worried about this blog closing for the Summer. Let us assure you that nothing sinister is afoot. Gal’s SkaNads side project poses no threat to the Gonads. We will be back properly in the late Autumn as promised – and we are inviting UK and European gig offers from any serious promoters. In the meantime Jase is finishing off work on our pal Pete Way’s long-awaited solo album, Mighty Mick Maverick is busy hovering up the Milton Keynes car mechanic trade and South Coast Steve is spending a few therapeutic months in a luxury rest-home (Broadmoor, transferring to a secure unit in Rampton whenever he passes the tests).

SKA News: the legendary DAVE & ANSELL COLLINS are touring the UK at the end of August with the Phoenix City All-stars. The gigs are: 25/8 Isle of Wight Scooter Rally - Ryde Ice Arena; 26/8 Brighton - Blind Tiger w/ Thursday Night Fish Fry; 30/8 Manchester - Band on the Wall; 1/9 London - 100 Club... Our pals Buster Shuffle have their album launch party at the 100 Club on 12th June... and tickets are already on sale for the London International Ska Festival 2013. The joyous weekender is set to take place 28-31 March. As well as the four main events a further six fringe happenings are underway, including cinema, DJ all-nighters, a record fair, and a Thames cruise. The early-bird ticket price is £99.99, but move sharpish to take advantage of the offer here.

That nasty piece of crap The Bitch has turned his/her anonymous venom on our dear friend King Hammond, alleging that the much-respected Grammy-award-winning Ska guru “dresses like a fat Yank tourist without the tan; all he’s short of is a Hawaiian shirt.” She/he goes on: “Nick Welsh’s opinion of himself is as grossly inflated as his belly. What’s wrong with the geezer, refusing to play the UK again like a big flouncing prima donna? Gertcha, cowson.” Ouch! We would intervene more forcefully on Nick’s behalf if we didn’t have to ‘out’ him as a suspected round dodger (see June 2nd entry).

Record news: out this week, a bracing new album from one of our fave Frisco bands Neon Piss. It’s called "s/t", it’s on Deranged Records and it’s described by the reliable Sandra Lane as “kick-arse melodic punk” whatever that means. (Sandy Lane quote of the week: “The funny thing about white supremacists is that whenever you inadvertently meet one it’s always a supreme pleasure when they fuck off.”)

We’re not big in to reggae-reggae, being Ska buffs and all, but there are some blinding acts at the 50th anniversary Jamaican independence celebrations at the Greenwich O2, including Lee Scratch Perry and Mad Professor (25th July), Denise Alcapone and Winston Reedy (28th), Ernest Ranglin and Sly Dunbar (29th), John Holt (31st); Marcia ‘Bob & Marcia’ Griffiths (1st Aug), Toots & The Maytals (Aug 3), Jimmy Cliff, Max Romeo and Derrick Morgan (5th), and much more besides. Ire (etc)

Fascinating Fact from Fat Col: if you accidentally type ‘Hell’ instead of Hull into your SatNav, you still get there.

June 2. We are back temporarily for tonight’s big Harlow benefit show – report to follow on Monday. In the meantime Gal recorded his latest podcast yesterday with special guests Louise Distras, banging out the sweet nectar of rebellion live in the studio, followed by King Hammond himself Nick Welsh (the Sultan of Ska, the Monarch of Merriment, the Regent of Rocksteady etc etc). The show includes tracks from Loudmouth, the Cockney Rejects, Red Alert, Buster Shuffle, Grapple, King Brillo, the Uppercuts, Produzenten Der Froide (’Oo? – Fat Col), Wasted Life, The Gonads, Moscow Mod band The Riots, The Stone Foundation, the Rival Sons, and, umm, “original folk punk” Harry Champion... Gal’s twitter page will tell you when it’s up and playing.

PS. A small gathering of discerning folk, including Paul Hallam (SoS), Steve Whale and Eddie Piller (R-D), got together for a post-pod pint, a jolly session that was undermined slightly by this nagging question: if a musical genius you admire partakes freely of beverages amongst chums and then departs prematurely having “forgotten” to get them in, should said esteemed muso be outed as a dirty no-good ’Kin’ round-dodger. (Yes – Ed)

The Cockney Rejects US gigs were “brilliant” and Punk Rock Bowling “blinding”, according to our US correspondent. We hope to hear something more coherent in due course, in the meantime: our mates went to Vegas and all they brought us back were a couple of not-so-lousy images...

The Gonads Website

The Gonads Website

Incredible but true, Clyde Ward met up with Cuban songstress Margarita Pracatan last month and the subject of her covering Gonads songs inevitably came up. The great diva has asked to hear more. Margarita featured frequently on Clive James’s old TV shows performing the likes of ‘Hello’ by Lionel Richie. The possibility of her belting out ‘Oi Mate’ and ‘Oi Nutter’ in future should not be ruled out. We have a lot in common, because as Clive says: “She never lets the words or melody get in her way. She is us, without the fear of failure.

Where does Oi stand on the Jubilee Weekend, asks ‘Confused of Chorley Wood’? Divided is the answer. A small number of left-wing British Oi bands are backing the Sod Her Maj campaign, but most are bang up for it, if only for the four days off work. We’ve even written a song to celebrate – ‘New Cavaliers (Of England)’ – we’ve just neglected to record it. The Pranksters are always happy to drink the loyal toast of course, and if this blog were functionally normally there would be a write-up on the East Sussex brethren’s unbridled Jubilee weekender. Mercifully, it ain’t.

There’s going to be a big London Oi weekender in November featuring The Crack, Major Accident, Booze & Glory, On File, Superyob, the Angry Agenda and more. It’s at the Boston Arms in Tufnell Park on Nov 2nd and 3rd. Two day tickets now on sale for a pony (that’s half a bulls-eye to you, squire).

The acid-tongued Bitch has been on to us, asking sarcastically: “Can Chelsea Dom still be called ‘Chelsea Dom’ after deserting his team when the pressure was on?” She/he goes on: “Dom had major doubts that Chelsea would pull it off in the 2nd leg of the quarter finals against Napoli, but THEY DID! He did not go to Barcelona because he thought they had little chance of getting past them in the semis, but THEY DID!! To top this off he preferred to go to see Cock Sparrer in Boston rather than watch his beloved Blues lift the Champions League trophy in Germany! This is believed to be the biggest clanger C****** Dom has dropped since wearing the Don Estelle get-up in Amsterdam). Rumour has it, he is out to win the ‘most miles travelled following Cock Sparrer badge to place alongside all of the other badges on the arm of his Adventure Scouts uniform, alongside ‘starting a fire with sticks’, ‘building a tent out of leaves’, 'erecting a tent with a modest pole...’ let’s not go there... He is EX Big Badoe Dom, EX Chelsea Dom and must now be referred to on your blog as just, Dom Dib-dib-dib, Dob-dob-dob.” OUCH! She/he is also threatening to produce “damning photographic evidence” of Dom’s “permanent decline into dosser couture”.

Record news: the Broken Heroes release a new album This Is Oi! on Skinflint next Wednesday. Eleven tracks of brickwall wallop... The new Bouncing Souls album, Comet, is available to pre-order for fourteen bucks (about £9 – Ed); orders will ship on or before June 5th. It’s the boys’ ninth full-length offering; it weighs in at ten tracks and was produced by Bill Stevenson at the Blasting Room in Ft. Collins, CO. The vinyl version comes in a gatefold jacket and includes a Digital Download Card of the entire album... The Old Firm Casuals’ split single with Klasse Kriminale is now up for grabs from Randale.

Terence Hayes, the Lad Himself, has invited all former members of the East End Badoes, including Dom and Phil, to be part of the new up and coming album by the original members. Says Tel: “Some will grab the opportunity with two hands and be a part of Badoes history and some will just keep on sulking and moaning instead of looking at the positives.” He adds that the band will be doing a “semi new” version of ‘All That Glitters Isn’t Gold’ called ‘All That’s Gold Isn’t Glitter’. (It’s ‘glisters’ – pedantic Ed). Tel goes on: “All will be revealed at the Arkwright's show where the complete new album will be played in full for the first time.” Arkwright’s in Essex will host a secret show featuring us and the Badoes playing to an invited audience later this summer.