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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

June 30. Oh cruel fate, oh perfidious fortune. As the England team arrive home in neutered disgrace, Gal’s World Cup pod-cast – originally recorded back in May! – is now finally up and running HERE. It’s hard to listen to would-be England anthems like ‘Confidence’ by Ken Dodd’s Dad’s Dog’s Dead without kicking ourselves for thinking we were ever in with a chance. But if you can suffer it, other featured bands include: Control, The Guv’nors, Dreadzone, Long Tall Shorty, The Snipes, King Hammond, Blades UK, Swagga, Noise Agents, Chenille Steele and her pet walrus, Waysted, Masterswitch, Engrained, CDCP, Uchitel Truda, Babyhead, The Hickoids, Stomper 98, Kingdom Of Darkness and the Bouncing Souls. One for lovers of schadenfreude everywhere. Studio guests are Chenille and the brilliant King Hammond. The odd background noise is surely the sound of Lady Luck booting us repeatedly in the bollocks. We’ll be back next month with tracks from The Corps, and more from Shorty and The Guv’nors. With due stoicism we soldier on.

June 29. John Robb has talked the Rebellion organisers into including a Literary Festival at the Blackpool weekender, which means he’ll be hosting afternoon chats with the likes of Penny Rimbaud, the pioneering Epping anarchist/hysterical middle class prima donna (delete to taste). We’d love to go, if only to throw sausages at the old hippy, but sadly according to our diaries on the day we have a previous engagement – watching telly. Oh yeah, they’re also holding a contest to allow fifty people to meet Peter Murphy from Bauhaus. You have to send in a hundred word email saying why you should be one of the lucky ones to have a personal audience with the ‘Godfather of Goth’. Starry, starry shite.

June 27. Stop Press. Calling all flag girls, the official July 11th World Cup party is now cancelled. Thank fuck we didn’t release ‘England In My Blood’ for this! What a shower. The Germans haven’t encountered such poor defending since they took on France in ’39. (continued at length in the Sidney Arms). By the way, thank you Wattsie Watts for the text you sent at 14:58 saying that ‘according to my Tarot cards England will win.’ Yes. Other Watts Tarot forecasts include: Long Tall Shorty to have Top Ten single in October, Capello to keep his job, the Beast to wed Megan Fox, Wattsie to wed Zak Starkey and Terence Hayes (WM) to present Newsnight. Mystic Meg, your job is safe.

*Random stuff to take our minds off being a global embarrassment: the classic track ‘Hoxton Tom For President’ will be included on Italian oi-sters asociale’s ‘Complete Collection’ CD, released in September... Sparrer headline the Streetpunk Christmas Party just outside of Paris on 11th December; supports include the US Bombs, Discipline, Deadline, the Bombardiers and our pals Les Misogynes... The gig billed as the alternative to Rebellion is going ahead in Blackpool on August 7th. The line-up is expected to include Pressure 28, Skinfull, TMF and those bashful chaps the London Diehards who are now banned from this blog for the rest of the month cos we have to lash out at someone. BTW. Gal’s own blog can be found HERE.

June 25. Good news bad news re Gal’s World Cup pod. The show has been up on the Total Rock website for two days but due to “technical gremlins” it is not yet playable. Grr. This thing is dragging on like Isner and Mahut. Only the Masons album has taken longer to materialise. Let’s hope England are still in the frame by the time these monkeys sort it out.

June 24. Random noos: Blink 182 are recording their sixth album in the Autumn – their first for seven years... The Stranglers play the Cheese & Grain in Frome tonight, as their official Glasto warm-up gig... General McChrystal just cancelled his subscription to Rolling Stone magazine...

*A no-good slippery grass tells us that Nacho Jase spent the summer solstice “raving” with various low-lifes and hippies at Stonehenge. In his defence, Nacho only went because Wattsie told him Stonehenge was built to attract aliens. A load of bollo, of course, except it might explain why we’ve never seen an alien. Think about it: if you’ve got the technology to travel millions of light years across the cosmos, would you really be impressed by a bunch of rocks and a Druid?

June 23. Our ‘Glorious Bastards’ album will be available as a stand-alone CD by the end of July. Contra Records tell us that the much sought-after disc is currently at the pressing plant. There is nothing now that can go wrong for the release, except...picture this: England win today, and go on to meet Germany, the game goes to penalty shoot outs and England’s glorious victory sparks riots on the terraces leading to open hostilities between our two fine nations, the out-break of World War III and the global apocalypse. Said the Beast: “Such a development would be unfortunate, but in the event of armageddon we have contingency plans to pirate the CD ourselves.” So that’s all right then. Meanwhile we expect to make an announcement regarding the highly anticipated Gonads Greater Hits album and other major developments on or around the July 12th.

*The London Diehards are back in the studio next month to record a six track ep called ‘Anthems For a Fighting Nation’. Rumours that the songs will include ‘Autocue For A Forgetful Lead Singer’ cannot be confirmed.

June 22. Wattsie reminds us of the oddest moment from the Nads beano to deepest Dorset. While stopped at Fleet Services on the M3, Gal was besieged by a car-load of hot brunettes. “We just wanted to say hi,” said one. “I just want to touch him,” said another. We looked in vain for Punk’d style hidden cameras but their excitement seemed genuine. “I guess not much happens in Hampshire,” sniffed Ms Watts. Other random revelations: Wattsie and Allyson have outrageously vetoed FB’s “tits out” on-stage edict. Nacho Jase would be a shoe-in for a punk rock edition of Come Dine With Me. And mighty Mick Maverick has been befriended by Five Finger Death Punch – we might let them support us, what do you reckon?

*Return of the ugly... our old pals the Angelic Upstarts have lined up four English dates in September; 11th – Dunhelm House, Durham students union, 17th – West Coast Bar, Margate, 18th – The Garage, London, 19th – The Witchwood, Ashton-under-Lyme. Yeah, but will Elephant Mensi sing ‘Student Power (What A Shower’) in Durham?

*Assorted snippets: elderly punk hero Rat Scabies joins the Bermondsey Joyriders on stage at the 100 Club on Friday July 9... even more elderly Frankie ‘Boy’ Flame is trying to rally a line-up of oi-oi guest stars for Yobfest... the latest Maximum Rock’n’roll is out now, packing in interviews with Really Red, Slang, Bunny Skulls, Mehkago NT, Trash KIT, Sedition, High Castle, Marcel Duchamp, Circle Pit and Random Conflict, scene reports from Calgary and New Orleans, plus the normal columns, reviews and punk news.

June 21. In a shock move, Lord Waistrel today seized the management reins of both the Gonads and DMG, respectively appointing The Beast and FB “associate managers” of each project. Band insiders say that his Lordship has taken direct control in a bid to “fast-forward the groups in an effective and efficient way.” When questioned, Scrotum (Waistrel’s wrinkly retainer) would say only: “’Is Lordship believes that the Gonads must be a well-oiled military machine or they will be nothing.” (Here here!) “ This is not the end,” Waistrel himself intoned asthmatically, sorry, charismatically. “It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is perhaps the end of the beginning.”

June 20. To Poole in Dorset for a series of hush-hush drummer auditions. Gal, Wattsie Watts and Terence Hayes, WM, were due to make up the X Factor-style judging panel but at noon when we texted Tel to ask how late he was running he told us: "You'll never believe this but I forgot all about it. "Oh we believe it, mate, we believe it. So the prestigious spare seat was filled by flag girl Allyson as a procession of keen young beat-keepers tried out for the band, and for Wattsie's hand in marriage. Long story short, they were all pretty good but we reckon we've found the right man in South Coast Steve (proper nickname pending) and we're still on track for new gigs in August. Tune back next month for an official news release. Meanwhile ta-ta and bon chance to our departed sticks-man RD who is off pursuing another musical project. Quote of the day; Wattsie: "Some of us are definitely descended from Martians" (this girl thinks V is a documentary). Absentee of the day: FB, who was apparently attending a Beast management course. Track of the day: 'Bad Company' by Five Finger Death Punch. Sausage-servers of the day: Nacho and Mick (unless there's something Wattsie ain't telling us).

*Blades UK drummer Robin Guy blew out a gig opening for Aerosmith in Athens to play with the Last Resort at the Gaff last night instead. Both the Resort and the Business were on cracking form, we're told. But given the choice of the Karaiskaki stadium or plain cacky Holloway, we still think he's nuts.
PS. Fat Col's ex Janette once told him she fancied "a bit of Greek". He was sitting there starkers with a tub of Vaseline and she walked in with a moussaka.

June 18. Many mysteries have perturbed the minds of human kind: the Blue Carbuncle, the Twisted Lip, the Stockbroker’s Clerk, the Crooked Man – all were posed and solved by Conan Doyle. But here is a puzzle that even Sherlock Holmes couldn’t crack: the Strange Case of the Missing Gonads Saw-blades. Regular readers (Sid and Doris Yobbo) will recall that back in the mists of time (2008), Gal and Tone wrote and recorded the magnificent blood-chilling anthem, ‘Franken-Skin’. We did this at the end of the ‘Live Free, Die Free’ sessions for a bonus saw-blade to be released by Empty Records in Germany. Days turned to weeks turned to months and when we heard nothing back we included the song as an extra track on the vinyl double-album version of ‘LFDF’. Today we discovered that the saw-blade was finally released by Empty in May this year - a mere sixteen months behind schedule. Further investigations reveal that a shipment sent to Gonads HQ has never arrived. How so? Leading crime experts have worked out several possible scenarios: 1) The shipment was stolen by fun-loving skins from Franken, Germany, who have adopted the song as their anthem, and consequently it never made it to these shores. 2) They were nicked at this end by enraged Superyob fans who believe (wrongly) that the anthem defames the great Frankie Flame (the very idea). Or 3) International art dealers realising the rare and valuable nature of the product paid the Sicilian Mob to purloin the discs and keep them in a Mafia vault “until the time is right.” (Of course it is also possible that the person in charge of shipping it over in the first place operates with the same sloth-like “manjana” sense of urgency as the people behind the LDs album release or indeed Total Rock Radio who have now taken seven days not to make Gal’s latest podcast available to download). In the absence of Holmes and Watson, we have put our best man on the case – Terence Hayes, WM – while another shipment of the precious cargo is sent under armed guard from the Fatherland. Keep ’em peeled. And hey, let’s be careful out there.

*We’re pleased, relieved but not surprised to report that Tottenham’s problem with Tone has been “sorted”. No LTS gigs will now be disrupted by angry North Londoners bent on extracting revenge and/or proposing to Wattsie Watts (of ‘ravishing’ fame). Such is the power of Waistrel. Beware all ye who risk his wrath, or spill his pint of champagne top. Now, who’s going to buy Tone a Millwall top to wear to Upton Park?

* More disturbing is the new rumour currently being circulated about the WM. It’s said that this week Tel told band members he’d been “a proper Joey Deacon” as a youngster (Joey was the poor disabled fellow championed by Blue Peter in the 1980s whose name sadly became a cruel playground taunt). In fact, Terry had merely admitted to having been a JUNIOR Deacon, a Prankster ranking, in the 90s. Let’s hope that publishing the truth here is enough to stop an unfortunate rumour spreading like the Yeti at a backstage orgy.

June 17. Lord Waistrel is intervening personally to “sort” the unfortunate Tottenham threat to Long Tall Shorty. His Lordship will send peace envoys, including, we’re told, Tottenham Sean, Hoxton Tom, and 18-stone Dave Lee, for talks with the disgruntled Yiddos. Scoops would go too but he can’t find anyone to pay his bus fare. Waistrel’s wrinkled retainer Scrotum tells us “’Is Lordship is very confident that the ’ooligans dahn the Lane will be placated.” One well-placed N17 source whispers: “This is a storm in a tea-cup. Tony is clueless about football; he probably thinks David Pleat was Keith Moon’s drum tech.” Meanwhile here’s some Shorty propaganda:

June 16. Good news, bad news from the Bermondsey Joyriders’ front. The bad news came on their first day in the USA for their recent mini-tour. Gary 'Guitar' Lammin arrived at their LA lock-up only to discover that £8,000 worth of the band's equipment and merch was no longer in there. Turns out that bassist Martin Stacey had forgotten to pay the rent (twice) and all of the Joyriders' gear had been taken away and auctioned off six months previously. Even more gutting: it all went for $550. Ever-enterprising, Gal blagged back-lines from his various support groups and got through the tour unscathed. Back in England, the good news has come in the shape of Chris 'Rat Scabies' Millar who is now guesting with the band on drums, oh, and Gary has brought out a World Cup song with Jah Wobble...

*Dark clouds loom for fun-lovin’ Long Tall Shorty. It seems certain that the self-styled 'Yiddos' are none too happy with Tone for playing with Gooners band the Riders Of The Night the other day and are vowing to extract a painful N17-style revenge at Shorty's next London gig. Guys, guys, what is this, 1980 all over again? Let's all get together, have a laugh and a beer, maybe a ruby, and then kick the shh you know what out of Dunfermline Athletic.

*More details of Fat Col’s shocking behaviour on Saturday night can be revealed. At the end of the evening he lurched over to a “vision in red” who was drinking with Waistrel and demanded the last waltz, only to be told no for three reasons: “1) You are drunk, 2) That isn’t a waltz it’s the National Anthem and 3) I am not a woman I’m the Cardinal Archbishop of Westminster.”

*Finally, the news the world has been waiting for (and when we say the world we mean Terence Hayes, WM). Yes, the London Diehards’ debut album, a split with TMF called ‘Looking For Trouble’ is out on the MFS Record Label. Actual copies have been seen. Some have even been sold. The twelve track platter, originally recorded around about the time the Doomsday Book was recorded, is now available direct from MFS or at LDs gigs. Guitarist Ciaran says “I've told Tel that it’s called ‘Val Doonican's Greatest Hits’ and that it’s available on K-Tel records so he's spreading the word around in a way that only the SOS could.” Bless 'im. Our favourite Doonican songs for the WM to sing: ‘Paddy McGinty’s Goat’, ‘O’Rafferty’s Motor Car (Goes Faster Than The Beastmobile)’ and ‘I’m Just A Country Member’ (Yes, we remember).

June 15. Students of global youth cults will love Top Fellas, the story of Melbourne’s Sharpie cult (Australia’s equivalent of skinheads.) The book, written by Tadhg Taylor is full of Gang Wars! Rock n' Roll! And Fine Knitwear! The Sharpie style was born in mid-sixties Melbourne, and flourished in coffee bars, pool halls and suburban dances. Top Fellas is packed with first-hand accounts from ex-sharps and rock n' rollers like Lobby Loyde, Angry Anderson and the Skyhooks Greg Macainsh, illustrated with over fifty photos of teenagers in cardigans. Originally published in 2004 it inspired a revival of interest in the sharpie phenomenon Down Under, resulting in websites, exhibitions, magazine articles and fiction. You can buy it HERE.

* And don’t forget, Gal’s immaculately researched book ‘Hoolies’ about UK youth cults is out now, and still under a fiver from Amazon. It tells the stories of Skins, Mods, Punks, Glory Boys, Casuals and the rest with many first person testimonies from the participants. Signed copies can be ordered from the Gonads shop.

*There’s a mega-Mod do down at Brighton this August Bank Holiday. London promoters the New Untouchables have lined up two live bands, local lads The Peppermint Beat Band and the Faithkeepers from Spain for the weekend knees-up, held over two days and three nights with a scooter competition Sunday daytime followed by a ride out to Beachy Head. Daytime events are free with vintage market selling rare vinyl and modish threads both days. The weekend kicks off on Friday 27th with a welcome party at the Volks club almost opposite Brighton pier. Saturday and Sundays allnighters are hosted at Brighton's best venue the Komedia in the lanes area. DJs from a dozen clubs round the UK as well as local clubs Mojo to Go Go/Hush Club/Born Bad and Da Do Ron Ron are all represented. More info at:

June 14. It was Gooners all the way at Tony Feedback's gig with the Riders of the Night on Friday. The Arsenal-loving rogues supported the legendary Bollock Brothers, with an opening spot from the less legendary False Dots. Heavy Gunners fans took over the Purple Turtle in Camden and there wasn't a Spurs supporter in sight. Just as well when the Riders' set contained such quality ditties as 'EIE' ('EIE, EIE, Tottenham are SHIT, SHIT, SHIT'), 'I Wish I could Play Like Charlie George', 'B'Jesus Said Paddy', 'Kerb Crawler' (chorus, 'David Pleat, 'David Pleat, David Pleat, Keep away from my street'), 'Eyes Right', 'The Midnight Patrol' plus a Kinks cover, 'You Really Got Me'. Arsenal Binnsy has recovered from a heart attack earlier this year and Riders' sticks man, Army Jon has had two strokes, but the night was entirely incident free. Older than all of them though was the dapper Jock MacDonald from the Bollock Brothers with his splendid syrup. It's claimed that at one recent BB gig, the wig fell off and quick as a flash Jock pulled out his false teeth and said, "You might as well know the whole truth" - but we have no way of knowing if this is true. Wattsie was there and had to beat off a large number of smitten admirers (beat off in the sense of driving them away, although you never know what goes on in the Ladies). And talking of quality ditties Kiria turned up as well and had heads turning like a scene from the Exorcist. We'll leave it to you to provide the inevitable Kiria/up the Arsenal punch-line.

*CORRECTION: in a previous blog entry we may have besmirched Mr Feedback's good name by referring to him "sucking on a large Cuban (not always a cigar)." After a visit from Tone's new solicitors, from the law firm Bear & Jenkins of Clock End Legal Services, we are happy to correct this shocking allegation. Clearly Mr Feedback would not have been sucking on a Cuban cigar. For political reasons his cheroots come direct from Chile. We apologise unreservedly for any offence and as recompense we will not be publishing the rumour that Tone is set to perform with Kiria in matching rubber creations at an Oxford festival next month. Even though he is. All together: 'Down the other end of Seven Sisters, there's a chicken on a basketball...'

*Meanwhile back with rock n roll our great mate honorary Gonad Peter Way joined Michael Schenker on stage in London last week for a rousing rendition of 'Doctor, Doctor' - good to see Pete back in the game!

June 13. A poor show on the Prankster front. Friday’s grand event was somewhat ruined because no-one had remembered to invite the WM and then the microphone was ropey which meant that Gal’s auction spot sounded more like an over-long Norman Collier impression. Despite that, a signed Charlton shirt went for £110 and more than £1,000 was in total raised for Prankster-supported charities. Many thanks to Dazza from the East Sussex branch who ran the cracking punk-oi-ska disco until 1am. And thanks also to Sandra Lane who ran the film quiz in the quiet bar. There was only one unfortunate incident when the bar manager asked: “Do you know Fellini's Eight & A Half?” And Sandy replied: “No, but I’ve heard the rumours.” We’re sad to report that only seven brethren turned up for last night’s Crayford gig, organised in conjunction with the Grand Order of Pie Tasters, and clashing dumbly with the England v USA game. A furious Fat Col denounced absent members as “lightweights and pussies, a disgrace to our fraternity.” He then went into a long, semi-coherent rant about his divorce before pigging out on the pies and real ale. Not for the first time Col’s subsequent conduct will be the subject of an internal inquiry. To order brethren. Step off with the left foot.

June 11. Once more into the breach dear friends, once more... Gal and Nick Welsh returned to Total Rock Radio today to re-record May's Lost Podcast. Gal explained that "volcanic ash" in the studio, coupled with "a BP oil spillage" in the station's antique CD-player had been responsible for the last show being wiped and not his and Nick's technical incompetence as assumed by everyone else. As insurance he took Page 3 babe Chenille Steele along to fiddle with the knob. For those unfamiliar with her work, Chenille is a self-confessed "glamour girl who likes it up the bum". Although she didn't seem that interested when Gal asked her to call "heads or tails" - no brown eye points were scored today. But she did tell us about her important work on behalf of a very good cause: injured pole-dancers. Tracks played included new stuff from King Hammond, Control, The Guv'Nors, Dreadzone, The Snipes, Long Tall Shorty and Babyhead (full break-down when the pod is up and running). The show also includes a round-up of the best England World Cup anthems sent in to date including Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog's Dead, Swagga, the Blades UK, Noise Agents and Chenille herself. We are also treated to Nick's idea for a UK Cockney TV channel featuring shows like Mug Me Off. We'll let you know when it's up. (Insert your own Chenille joke here).

*It arrived too late for Gal to play it but check out the Skatoons' England song on YouTube: 'The World Cup's Waiting For You.'

*PRANKSTER announcement: the weekend conference is on. The opening ball will take place as arranged at "that place near Hever Castle." Tomorrow night's gig is in Crayford - you have the details.

* WATTSIE Watts just texted us. Tony Feedback was treating her to lobster and champagne in Great Titchfield Street, she says, and she was worried that a proposal might follow. No need to fret, Wattsie, dining out on champagne and posh nosh is how Tone spends every Friday, as he counts his black market takings, and sucks on a large Cuban (not always a cigar either). Besides if he wants to propose he can get to the back of the queue behind the rest of us. And talking of the WM, he's been remarkably quiet since his LTS wind-up was rumbled and exposed here. A shame it isn't going ahead because given his new found love of rap, if he had joined Shorty he could have become the Long Tall Slim (Extremely) Shady. Make that shandy, Tel's driving.

June 10. Here at last are the links to buy the Blades UK ‘Spirit Of England’ song from iTunes:HERE, from Amazon:HERE and from

And while we’re on the subject of World Cup tunes, the Noise Agents’ anthem ‘Indestructible (Hear Three Lions Roar)’ is now up on YouTube, as are England ditties from Swagga and Dagenham’s Underclass. But are any of them a patch on Terry Venables?

June 9. Tony Feedback reminds us that he'll be joining the Riders of the Night on stage this Friday at the Purple Turtle, Camden, for a few Spurs-bashing ditties (it's Giffer meets Biffer! - Ed). A must for all Gooners.

*Mad with power, the WM is trying to start a rumour that LTS have asked him to front the band and spearhead the so-called Moid movement. "They say I'm the greatest front man on the scene", he lies. Could he become Terry 'Three Bands' Hayes? No. Shorty are in enough trouble with parka-clad oldies for daring to record new material to risk alienating hardcore Mods further.

* Out this week, 'White Crosses' the new album from Against Me, and a reissue of Refused's 'The Shape Of Punk To Come' (double vinyl album + DVD, on Epitaph), said to be the most influential hardcore album of all time. This comes with an added CD of over 50 minutes of unreleased live performances.

June 8. The Blades UK World Cup song ‘Spirit of England’ is out today, details should be on the Plastic Head site. We’d put up a link if they could be arsed to send one. Oi voices on the chorus include Millwall Roi, Steve Whale and the venerable Terence Hayes-Watts.

June 7. LTS and the London Hillbillies played the 100 Club last night as part of Tony ‘Fagin’ Feedback’s maniacal vision of uniting the Mod and Oi scenes into a brave new entity: Moid, which rhymes neatly with the Void that exists between the WM’s ears. Steve Bruce was one of the few famous faces in the not over-packed crowd who didn’t join the fun on stage. Sobriety’s wayward son Max Splodge did a couple of songs (‘Two Pints’, ‘Police Oppression’), Kiria got up with Shorty and Gary ‘Guitar’ Lammin jammed through a hesitant cover version of the Upstarts ‘England’ which he claimed he’d never heard and which in the spirit of jazz Tone sang half a bar out of time. Meanwhile the ravishing Wattsie Watts grilled Terence Hayes, SOS, about his hitherto undetected appeal to friends of Dorothy. How long before WM comes to stand for Wattsie’s Man-slave? Shorty’s new Kick Out The Shams album comes out in July, straight from Fagin’s lock-up.

*Meanwhile senior pranksters including Charlton Tel, Millwall Dan, Big Jim, Shazza and Jimmy Cheese convened with Gal in The Usual Place for the more important business of raising a glass to absent friends. Through it all, the spirit survives.

*The Rejects are back from their successful Euro mini-tour. The triumph of the gigs was marred only by the tedious nature of the travel arrangement – after playing Serbia they had to motor more than 400 miles to Slovenia to fly to London. EasyJet, is it worth the ’kin hassle? At least the large number of Slavs everywhere made them feel at home.

June 6. Yesterday’s Oi Help For Heroes show held just outside Wootton Bassett was a big success. Half gig half sauna, the event was sold out and £2,816 was raised for Britain’s wounded servicemen. Well done to everyone who took part and especially Millwall Mic Bright for organising it.

*Good luck to our mate Chinese Tim now battling cancer of the lymph glands. We love ya, Timmy. We will come to your restaurant, we will have one drink, then we will go.

June 4. Reports filter back from Rebellion in Venice last weekend. Our mole tells us that "both Sparrer and the Rejects played blinders, The Boys were on top form and there were great sets from the Neurotics and Cute Lepers. Everyone gave blood for the cause - quite literally given the number of people bitten by the local mosquito population." Weirdest moment of the weekend was apparently a toss-up between the bagpiper dressed as Darth Vader who played the Star Wars theme on stage with Monkish, and the member of Fire Exit who decided it would be a good idea to kip up a tree. The fun we have.

* Shocking pix of the Gonads at Torgau are now up on our MySace page, sadly there is only one of Nicole topless as The Beast was shaking too much to focus.

* Please note, given Terence Hayes's foray into rap music, his nickname has henceforth been changed from the WM, WM/SOS and old Dozy Bastard to Run WMC (with a silent M).

June 3. News filters through that Terence Hayes, WM/SOS, has secretly recorded a rap track with his dishy, sobriety-challenged daughter Liberty. This has earned Tel a new rap moniker - Dozy Bastard. You can see their new band performing here: Nice to see the Diehards audience haven’t deserted him.

June 2. We are now officially on a two month break from gigging, but we will be in the studio his summer working on the Gonads Greater Hits volume one. Our best wishes to RD MacGonad as he undergoes lengthy surgery to sort out the arm he injured in a bike smash, and a further operation to implant a sunny disposition. We’ll be back on the road in August. Watch this space for occasional news and gossip. Keep calm and carry on. It’s the English way. Pip, pip.

June 1st. Random crap: a furious Lord Waistrel has ordered a full and immediate inquiry into “unacceptable band behaviour” in the wake of our German trip; this is no joke, the old boy has “gone Garrity”... a message arrives from the London Diehards lobbying us to change the alter-ego of the venerable Terence Hayes, WM, from the WM to “The SOS – Silly Old Sod.” This seems entirely reasonable... in the meantime, lovers of ‘reggae of the ’69 kind’ can buy King Hammond’s debut album from here - and get a Skaville UK album of your choice thrown in as a free bonus. Rude boy music for today, yeah.