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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

July 14. This blog and website are now closed for one month. Please be advised that anything you order from the shop page will not be despatched until August 15th. In the meantime, here’s a quick update: Gal recorded his latest podcast yesterday with studio guests Mitch from West Country ska geezers the Communicators, Bev Elliott and the Noxious Toyz, who played live in the shed. Full marks to the Toyz’s brilliant stand-in bassist Mark Bending (from Sgt Bilko’s Krazy Combo) who managed to play a double-bass in the Rancid Sounds studio which is only marginally bigger than an old-fashioned telephone box. It was like squeezing Heather Trott through a cat flap... (not Kat’s flaps, they’ve seen enough action). The pod comes with hot tracks from Loaded 44, Mouthguard, the Mardigras Bombers, The Hotknives, Booze & Glory, The 1-Stop Experience, Eddie Tenpole Tudor, Daytona, the Cockney Rejects, the Cundeez and more. It also contains the first ever public broadcast of ‘Glorious’. Hear it here! (The podcast is also available as a free download from iTunes here.)

The Gonads Website
Bev Elliott finds podcast listenable - after three gallons of rum and a Buck's Fizz. Cheers!

Out this week, new from The Mob a 1,000-copy pressing of ‘Back To Queens’ b/w ‘That’s It’. (Weathermaker Music)... Say Anything’s vinyl album Anarchy, My Dear (Equal Vision)... Morning Glory are giving away new song ‘Patiently’ as a free download... and from Poison Idea, ‘The Fatal Erection Years: 1983-1986’, volume 2 of the Kings Of Punk re-issues series on TKO.

STOP PRESS: R.I.P. Roy Shaw, the legendary unlicensed fighter who died last night.

July 13. As promised, here are the answers to all of your Frequently Asked Questions:

Q. When will the Gonads release another album and what will be on it? (asks Little Dave from Canning Town).

A: Next year, Dave. We’re working on a brand new studio album, called Dirty, as well as Greater Hits Volume Three – The Complete Cobblers. No decision has been made on the order in which they will be released. The Dirty song titles won’t mean much to you at this stage, but trust us, this is going to be louder, faster, heavier and nastier than anything we’ve ever done before.

Q. Will there be a SkaNads album on the back of the new e.p.? (asks Suzy from Camden)

A:Yes, they’re writing it as we speak. It’s not all filth either, there are songs about youth cults, homicidal bouncers and, erh, cricket. Again, there is no release date yet, but the Skinhead Lullabies ep is expected to come out in September. The early response to that has been absolutely top-hole.

Q. Do The SkaNads mean that the Gonads are over? (asks Rich from Darlington)

A: Absolutely not, sir. The Gonads will be back playing gigs later this year; FB is working on them as you read this.

Q. Are the SkaNads just the Gonads in pork pie hats? (asks Cynical Stevie from Derby)

A: Belay that cynicism, Stevie. No, they’re two completely different bands with different sounds and different agendas. All they have in common is Gal.

Q. Is the Gonads film going to happen and can I be in it? (asks Amber from Brentwood)

We hope so. Everything is in place except the finance but we’ve got a two man team working on that right now. Can you be in it, Amber? Our casting couch is always open...

Q. What books are Gal writing next? (asks PJ from Woolwich)

A: Time For Action is out this year, PJ; Gal is also editing the definitive Oi book as well as writing the third part of his pulp fiction Face trilogy. According to Fit Bird he is “firty fousand” words in to another project “like nothin’ he’s ever written before” as well.

Q. What else can we expect from you? (asks Les from Harold Wood)

A: We’ve got a few things in the pipeline, Les. The Hooligan Classics ep should be out next month, and our split single with The Uprisers is expected to be released in November. Various other ideas are still in development, but expect an intriguing left-field solo release from Gal before Christmas.

This just in. Latest results from the punk-pop football league: Sham 69 – Blink 182. Level 42 – S Club 7. Sum 41– Loaded 44. Gang Of Four – Fun Boy 3. Dave Clark 5 – Heaven 17. UB40 – Haircut 100.

By the way, we only wind up Tony ‘Boozy’ Barker because we love the big lug. We would encourage all bands to support his sterling efforts to bring the best of Oi to our friends the wrong side of Hadrian’s Wall. We’ll play for him ourselves, we’re just waiting for confirmation on the night bus.

Harley Flanagan has spoken out about his recent arrest and the stabbings at the Cro-Mags show in NYC. His side of the story is here.

July 12. STOP PRESS: Ahh shit, some bad news. Martin Sporrell is taking his bid to release an unauthorised Gonads bootleg album to the European Court Of Justice in Luxembourg. Says the Beast: “We are confident that Sporrell’s case has no legal merit and will be thrown out of the higher European court just as it was in London. The man is a thug and a chancer. As far as we are concerned this is just a waste of time and money.”

Clyde Ward ran into Martin Gore from Depeche Mode yesterday. Martin asked him to tell Gal that he has still never forgiven/forgotten him for his first review of them in which he referred to the then Basildon-based synth-pop band as “three cunts with ironing boards.” Gal apologies profusely and says if he’d had his time again he wouldn’t have been so pleasant.

July 11. Sandra Lane writes: The Gonads had a brilliant day in the studio yesterday. The band finished off three songs. ‘Glorious’ will be on the next Hooligan Classics ep, and we think it’s the best Nads anthem ever. Written by Gal and Clyde, ‘Glorious’ is a stonking, stomping anthem with a big sing-along terrace chorus. The other two songs are pretty damn mega as well, they are ‘Harry May’s Revenge’ (written by Gal and Steve Kent) and ‘We Are The Boys’ (Gal/Clyde) which will be the band’s two tracks on the US split single with The Uprisers, due out later this year. We will announce release dates when we know them.

The SkaNads also completed their four track debut ep yesterday, and this will be released by Randale in September. The ep, called Skinhead Lullabies is dedicated to Judge Dread, RIP, and features the very filthy ‘Threes Up’ (Gal/Nick Welsh), pub anthem ‘Beer Can’ (Gal/Steve Whale), the rude and risqué ‘It’s Getting Harder’ (Gal/McMighty, featuring Jennie Bellestar) and the satirical ‘Avoid The Vexation Of Women’ (Gal/McMighty, featuring Dave Barker and comedy legend Mickey Pugh as Granddad). Backing vocals were stylishly supplied by Leah McCaffrey and Wattsie Watts.

Fat Col has leapt in to defend Tony ‘Boozy’ Barker insisting that “The bus has a proud place in the pop tradition”. He mentions the Beatles Magical Mystery Tour, and perhaps less convincingly Cliff Richards and the ex-London Transport double-decker used in Summer Holiday (all together: “We’re all going on a Barker holiday, standing room only for a week or two... ”). Being Col he also ends on a gag, about a bunch of Sweaty Sock pensioners on a coach trip. After a while one old dear taps the driver on the shoulder and offers him a handful of peanuts which he gratefully polishes off. Fifteen minutes later she taps him on the shoulder again and gives him another handful of peanuts. The third time this happens he asks “Why don’t you eat them yourselves?” She replied: “Och, we canna chew them as we’ve got no teeth... we just love the chocolate around them.”

Random news: Ska legends No Doubt release their first new album for ten years in September, called ‘Push & Shove’. They’re posting an internet teaser on Monday... The new Clash documentary is said to take a less worshipful view of the band than previous Clash docs. Called The Rise & Fall Of The Clash, the film by Spanish director Danny Garcia, is more concerned with where it all went wrong, and how manufactured the band and their image was... We’re hearing reports that some German promoters are refusing to work with the Briggs because Joey is a scientologist... According to Billboard there are two Green Day documentaries in the pipeline... the Gaslight Anthem release their new album Handwritten on Monday week.

Stop Press: Our condolences to Jimmy Pursey on the sad loss of his father.

July 10. Happy birthday André Schlesinger, New York’s finest. And much love to Neville Staple who had a bad turn on stage in France at the weekend. Get well soon, mate.

Stories reach us concerning our old pal Tony ‘Boozy’ Barker and his visionary scheme to set up a series of punk/Oi gigs in Scotland. Tone is suggesting that bands travelling up from The Smoke should meet him in his local and then catch a bus to the venue five miles away. “Why waste money on a taxi when we can get the bus right outside?” he reasons, perhaps over-looking the practical problems involved in transporting guitars, drum breakables, pedals and amplifiers, along with merchandise and luggage, via public transport. And if getting there is bad, imagine the journey back after 18 pints of wallop and a deep-fried Mars bar! Still maybe he’s on to something and Boozy Barker’s Bus Tours will be the next big thing in rock... And on the plus side, if Superyob play at least Franky can use his bus pass. (Rumour has it that Pursey has agreed to do a gig for him but only on condition Barker uses a school-bus, but we have no idea what that’s referring to.)

Our pal Geno Blue is putting on an Ska & Soul charity fund-raiser at the Cock Tavern, Fleet Street this Friday (13th), with special guest DJ Gaz Mayall. The Moonstompers are playing live. See poster below for details.

The Gonads Website

Random irritations: people who set up “vital meetings” that disrupt your entire weekend and proceed to let you down 45 sodding minutes before the time of the meet that they called on. People who then say they’ll call you to explain why they’ve mucked up so appallingly and don’t. People who claim to be promoters who couldn’t promote a pair of tits in a lap-dancing club. Fuckwits who think bands should be happy to perform in their poxy, flea-ridden, miles-from-anywhere local for a few pints and a cheese sandwich. Bigger fuckwits in bands who agree with them. Record companies and merchandising firms who promise faithfully to account to you for sales and yet never fucking do. Messers, time wasters and bullshit merchants in general who permeate our scene and should be beaten with a shitty stick on sight. And Marcus Brigstocke. We’re not keen on him either, the posh, odiously right-on, fuck-faced twat.

A mystery caller got through to Gonads’ HQ yesterday. “Make sure South Coast Steve reads that story about Harley Flanagan,” growled a mystery Scottish voice – referring to the shock news about Cro-Mag veteran Flanagan stabbing his replacement in the band last Friday. “Is that you RD?” we asked. “Away an’ bile ye heid,” came the charming reply, followed by the abrupt ending of the call. A hoaxer, surely?

Random stuff: The genuinely legendary Dave & Ansell Collins play Club Ska at the 100 Club on Saturday, September 1st... Case release a new single on August 6th... a League of Labour Skins reunion bash is being planned for late August in a Pimlico pub... Chumbawamba have split up 14 years after their last hit; they got knocked down, they didn’t get up again.

FB and The Beast have both been nominated for a prestigious “Nobby No-Show” award for letting us down at the last minute on Monday and Sunday respectively. Their prize will be a kick in the nuts from Fat Col...

Jean Christophe Molinéris 2-Tone art is the best around; his book 'Heart & Soul Painting’ is published next week. Here is Gal’s review of his work: Jean Christophe Molinéris is an outstanding artist whose work captures the very essence of 2-Tone. His portraits don’t just “reflect”, they embrace and embody the spirit of Ska – the insolence, radicalism and sexuality that make this glorious music the antithesis of contemporary manufactured pop-slop. Better than anyone, Molinéris illustrates and celebrates the creative humanity that underpins the 2-Tone dream. His work is art that sings and dances and won’t be still. - Garry Bushell, 2012

OUT now, a new, unauthorised, but lavishly tooled Iron Maiden book by Neil Daniels, available here.

July 9. Our pal, the US Gonad and Maninblack's mouthpiece André Schlesinger celebrates his XXth birthday tomorrow, July 10th and in honour Gonads representatives will be joining him at the infamous the Double Down Saloon in the East Village of Manhattan (14 Ave. A, 10009, near Houston) at 9pm to help him forget about his INCREASINGLY SURLY DISPOSITION. Cake and ice cream will NOT be served. But Sally Hand tells us that there will be the DDS's usual fetish porn and classic punk on the sports monitors, CHEAP DRINKS and FREE CONDOMS conveniently deposited by the co-ed bogs. She says “We're looking forward to getting a certain mean old man drunk so that we can get him (and some friends... ) in on some pictures in the DDS's new photo booth that he'll gladly pay to have destroyed at a later date. Yeah, it's fun for the whole family!” There will also be free mini CDs of Maninblack’s Fighting In The Streets b/w The NYC, badges, stickers and a few extras to give away as always... If you see Sally there (she’ll be taking pictures) say hello and buy her a drink! PS. Girls, if you sit on André’s lap he'll tell you how old he really is...

The Gonads Website

Crimewatch Stop Press: Christopher Brahney, the Stone Roses fan who went missing after their Heaton Park show on Friday 29th June, has been found dead. A body, recovered by police from the Manchester Ship Canal at 9.35am this morning, has been formally identified as Brahney. He was 22... Casey Chaos, the singer with Amen, has been nicked after allegedly crashing his SUV into fifteen parked vehicles in Los Angeles last week. Choas – real name Karim Chmielinski – was arrested at his home in Studio City and has been charged with driving under the influence. He is reported to have fled the scene. Casey has collaborated with a host of rock and punk artists, including the Pistols, Henry Rollins and Iggy Pop.

July 8. Crimewatch continued: Violence erupted at the CBGB Festival at Webster Hall, New York, on Friday night. Harley Flanagan, a founder member of hardcore band the Cro-Mags allegedly walked into the VIP lounge and stabbed his replacement, Cro-Mags bassist Mike “The Gook” Couls. He is also said to have slashed and bitten another band member and taken a bite out of a third. The attack took place at around 8.30pm. Security mobilised immediately but it took six burly bouncers to overpower Flanagan, who is a mixed martial arts fighter trained in Jiu-Jitsu. They “beat the shit” out of him before the NYPD arrived and took him away in cuffs. The cops closed the theatre down. Flanagan has been charged with assault and possessing a criminal weapon. Couls was rushed to Bellevue hospital, his injuries are not life-threatening. Harley, is said to have fallen out with the band, specifically singer John Bloodclot in 2000; he later denounced him as a “fuckin’ dick”, “a bullshit merchant” and a scam artist who “never wrote a song in his life.”

July 7. Tonight’s Madness gig at Carlisle Racecourse has been cancelled, along with the racing, due to torrential rain... Random news: Sham 69 – the real ones, with Parsons and Pursey - play the Brixton Electric a week today with support Spear Of Destiny... Shug O’Neill’s Guttersnipes are back, they play The Vale in Glasgow on October 21st... NOFX release a new 7-inch single called ‘Ronnie & Mags’ on August 14th, featuring two brand new tracks and a demo of ‘I Believe in Goddess’...

The Gonads Website

July 6. Hello herberts, wotcha wasters, and Ohayou gozaimasu to our regular readers in Japan. A few of you have been asking questions about various aspects of Gonadian activities and we intend to answer all of them before this blog shuts down properly for a month. If you have anything to ask, drop old Waistrel a line. Meantime, here’s some news: Bad Manners and the Dualers headline The Folkstone Skabour fest next month. The three-day seaside knees-up runs from 10-12 August. Sunday night headliners are Reel Big Fish. Other bands on the bill include the Skatonics, The Estimators, the Popes of Chillitown and The Bottlenex.

The Gonads Website

TONY Van Frater and Decca Wade are joining our favourite Northern comedian Mark Rough in the line up for the North East all-star charity re-recording of the Disorder classic ‘Air Raid’ which will be released in aid of the Jail Guitar Doors organisation to help ex-offenders back into society.

John Lydon was entertaining enough on Question Time last night, but he answered one question by saying “I’m just a bystander, I know nothing” prompting Fat Col to shout: “Then fuck off out of it and give yer seat to someone who does.” Frankie Boyle tweeted that in comparison, Sid Vicious’s death is starting to look dignified.” Although the thing with Lydon of course is that at any time he could be right, he could be wrong... he could be wrong, he could be right. Right? The ex-Pistols sat next to Tory MP Louise Mensch (Col’s pin-up) who admitted “I did serious drugs and it messed with my head.” She is of course married to foul-mouthed Metallica manager Peter Mensch, who Gal describes as “Rock’s answer to Ari Gold.”

July 5. Oi, oi the Mods are back… in Brighton… August bank Holiday

The Gonads Website

This is for our mate Nina:

The Gonads Website

Coming soon from Randale Records – the new album from ARGY BARGY, ‘Hopes, Dreams, Lies & Schemes’; the Last Resort’s ‘Live In 2011’ double album; Pist'n'Broke’s ‘20 Years Strong’ picture LP with four new unreleased songs and RUST’s ‘Lean Mean Street Machine’ album. Coming soon from us: absolute blissful hibernation until mid-August at the earliest.

STOP PRESS. The Cockney Rejects documentary East End Babylon gets another airing on Saturday at the East London Film Festival (Genesis Cinema, Mile End)

July 4. Happy Independence Day to our mates in the States. Today is the day they celebrate their independence from us – and their new dependence on China.

Random guff: Ozzy’s old guitarist Zakk Wilde has named his new-born son “Sabbath”, let’s hope no-one from Kunt & The Gang follows suit... new Our Last Night album out next month... Amstel Light's Savor Complexity telephone booth ads campaign in the US celebrates ‘The Complex Tale Of Rock Music’. Sadly their comprehensive mentions of Punk and its sub-genres criminally over-looks the Punk Pathetique scene. Will no-one fly the flag for the Postmen and Barney & The Rubbles? We’re shocked and saddened. Here's the ad in full.

July 1st. Movie director Rob Gomez has signed up to film Curry On Up The Gonads, and various big-name Cockney actors are on board once the funding is in place. But now we get to the serious bit. We need to cast the Gonads as we would have been in the late 70s/early 80s, as well as 2001, and we also need to cast entourage characters such as Fat Col, The Nosher, Bev Elliott, Batttttty, Ron Rouman and the rest. Proper auditions will be held later this year, but in the meantime, if you think you could be Ravishing Wattsie Watts, Stinky Turner, Judge Dread, Terry Hayes or Charlie Harper then and now or a young Jennie Bellestar please email photos and a CV to Lord Waistrel (who will be played by Michael Gambon if things go to plan). Says exec producer Paul Hallam: “We want genuine actors and actresses first and foremost, but there will be opportunities for extra work for young punks, skins and Mods.” Rob Gomez has worked with Gal before, on the cult classic flick Hell To Pay, which also featured Mickey Pugh. Mick has written the film script which is best described as “The Great Rock n Roll Swindle meets Confessions of a Window Cleaner with a pinch of Fight Club”. Barnet Mark will play himself. Waistrel’s email is