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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

Jan 30. Here we go! Dance Craze: the 2-Tone book the 2-Tone legends love! Selecter stars Pauline Black and Gappa Henderson get their hands on the hottest (and rudest) read in town... Pauline’s autobiography Black By Design is well worth a gander too.

Dance Craze

People are asking what we played on Saturday night. It’s all a bit of a blur, frankly, but luckily we found a set-list: Punk Rock Till I Die, Grant Mitchell, Oi Mate, Big Balls, Yeti, Infected, Lotto, The Growler, Beki Bondage Please, Franken-Skin, UK Sub, Stop That Drumming. Encore: Hey You. The PM says that one of the great highlights was the return of The Beast “busting some moves” in the Franken-Skin role that he made his own back in Berlin in 2010. Effete El agrees, and emails the following review: ‘The Beast executed a number of heroic jumps and nuanced lunges. His virtuosity was delicately etched with arrogance. He was athletically virile and exquisitely perfumed. A lesser dancer would have looked camp, but The Beast gave it playfulness and charm... what we saw wasn't a monster but mankind ourselves, caught in glare of our own torment, forever torn between our spiritual aspirations and our base animal instincts...’  Wattsie concurs, saying: “Even Gal was moved to throw an affectionate arm around the old brute. It was incredibly moving.” Here, here! Vive Le Beast! (And vive Beast TV!) The only mild criticism came from wide-boy agent Paul ‘Stalin of Style’ Hallam who moaned that we didn’t play ‘Karl Marx Supported Millwall.’ And that’s true enough but we have stuck it up on YouTube here.

It’s all coming back to us now. Great weekend memories include the pre-gig march past by a Prankster sub-division called the Stamford Hill Stompers, whose distinctive garb – dark coats, chocolate cake shaped hats and white stockings - raised the spirits of all who saw them.

Gary Loveridge’s brilliant Blank Generation punk poster exhibition will be displayed in Tulse Hill until March 8th, details here.

It’s Dave Lee’s funeral today. In his honour, here’s some filth. (Dave was a clean family comic until he started hanging about with the likes of us and Cameron...)

Random Guff: the Caroloregians party for their ‘Fat Is Back’ album release is at the Workshop, near Old St tube, on March 6th; see ’em perform ‘Rudie Here To Stay’ here.

Hollie Moore, daughter of former Gonad Kev (now with BC Sweet – and, er, Christie!), recommends the 787 studio in Sheffield, currently charging a mere £175 a day... and this is cute, the latest edition of the Japanese fanzine Pounds (in the style of Sounds) by Hiroki Inobe is devoted to Cass Pennant, football casuals and his Casuals DVD. Great stuff.

The Business: ‘National Insurance Blacklist’, demo version - ‘In our country so fair and free, so say the holders of the economy, there is a monster said not to exist, they call it the Employer’s Blacklist...’

Jan 29. Boss Ska News: BB Seaton from the Gaylads and Dawn ‘No No No’ Penn appear at CLUB SKA (the 100 Club) on March 31st with top Ska DJs; MC’d by the legend that is GENO BLUE! Roy Ellis (Mr Symarip!) plays there on May 19th.


IN-COMING: an important message from the returning FB – “Please note, in future ALL Gonads gigs must be negotiated properly with band management and NEVER through any band members. All gigs will be subject to legal contract and stringent conditions will apply. We will not be playing your mate’s wine bar, your local pub, or anywhere without a stage. The gigs set-up in my absence will stand, but after that only serious bookings will be considered, in the UK and abroad. I thank you.”

Infa Riot, the Anti-Nowhere League and the Gonads are confirmed for TNT in September – but which version? Will it be the UK Gonads or the US line-up of the band on that fabled Connecticut stage? There’s only one way to find out.... FIGHT!!!

Intense negotiations have begun between Wattsie Watts (manageress, foreign affairs) and the promoters of the 14th Annual Punk Rock Bowling festival in Las Vegas. We are extremely interested in playing the fest in May (25th – 28th) as long as our modest requirements are met in full; to wit: four executive suites in the Bellagio hotel, four stretch limousines, exclusive use of a private jet, and/or personal lap-dancers, and a modest $10,000 a-piece in stake-money credit at the Blackjack tables. Oh, and a dartboard backstage at the venue. Says the Beast: “We may be willing to cut back to two stretch limos, but the rest is non-negotiable...” In the likely event of this deal not being closed, we’ll be hosting Punk Rock Crown Bowling in at the Eltham Bowling Club for a bag of chips that weekend instead.

Coming soon, you lucky people....

(Design: Raoul of Luxembourg; management: Harvey Gardens.)

John King of the Chelsea Veg-Hunters contacts us urging the Gonads to become the street-punk champions of vegetarianism. Is this going to happen? Not while there’s any bacon in the world...

Out this week: the new album (finally) from the Ducky Boys called ‘Chasing The Ghost’... and Astrohenge "II" a madcap CD based on a holiday to a strange planet of women, full of monumental riffs and general mania. Hmm, sounds a lot like Skegness to us...

Jan 28. Many thanks to Terence Hayes, PM, who brought a full contingent of London and Essex Pranksters to tonight’s bizarre and exciting ‘Balls To The World’ mega-gig. The loyal crew, some of whom are pictured, were privy to a Moddish set from the Legendary Groovy Men and magnificent performances from our special guests – Wattsie Watts (particularly sparkling on ‘Beki Bondage Please’, we felt) and The Beast, whose dramatic and scarifying appearance as “The Franken-Skin” recalled his previous impressive outing in Berlin. Wattsie had planned to beat Gal with a riding crop provided by Leah McCaffrey on stage but it seems injuries sustained in the rather too enthusiastic two-hour rehearsal ruled that out; besides she felt it would be more of a punishment not to hit him. Special thanks to birthday girl Marianne (aka The Fraggle), to Rodger for the sterling reggae DJ’ing and to wide-boy agent Paul ‘Millwall’ Hallam of Marie Celeste Promotions plc; special mention to the Crosse Keys round the corner which has to be the plushest Wetherspoons in the world. Addressing the massed ranks of jubilant pranksters, Terry Hayes said: “Gentlemen in England now-a-bed, shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks, that drank with us upon St Gonads day.” Afterwards, a discreet party (Gal, Tel, Wattsie, and Shona) retired to a private room at Waistrel’s favourite East India Club in London’s St James’ Square to toast the future with pints of the finest champagne top. For as Shona said: “It can only be uphill from here.”

Balls To The World  Balls To The World  Balls To The World

Wattsie Watts is rumoured to be working on a rainbow-friendly tranny-friendly version of the Gonads featuring herself and Shazza Stiletto called the Gay-Nads, performing SkaNads songs including Gal’s tribute to legendary drag act Mrs Shufflewick called ‘Untouched Pussy’... although we hear the Beast may try and veto the move as “unsuitable.” (Get her!)

Jan 27. Those of us old enough to remember the heady days of 1979 and 80 would never have expected to see this. Who would have thought that an exciting young talent of great artistic integrity, such as Paul Daniels, would end up sharing advertising space with the Chords, one of the vanguard bands of the Mod renewal? You may well think “That’s magic!” We like it. But not a lot.

Paul Daniels - The Chors

A vicious war of words has erupted between the PM and Chelsea Dom, of the feuding East End Badoes. The trigger is the new 30th anniversary Oi album, with both of them trying to claim the entire Badoes’ CD allowance. Various past indiscretions and grievances have been brought up as the war of words became vicious, and Gal attempted to apply the wisdom of Solomon (Manny Solomon, used car dealer) to keep the peace. However his plan to split the CDs down the middle was thwarted when a passing Fat Col half-inched the lot. They were last seen on a barrow down at Woolwich Market. If you’re quick boys, you might still get one...

We’ve got a special song for the fish farm gig in the Black Forest! It’s a little sing-along number about Dover soles that was taught to Gal by the late great Cockney comedian (and speed freak) Charlie ‘The Worker’ Drake. We’ve changed the music but the lyrics remain intact. They go: “What beautiful fish are soles, what wonderful fish are soles; no finer fish ever sat on a dish (all together): are soles, are soles are soles...”

Jan 26. Important notice: Saturday night’s show costs just £5 on the door! So it’s two sovs cheaper than Argy Bargy, with better beer and fitter women. How could you resist? PS. This poster (below) was what we were doing twelve years ago – playing Long Beach LA with local heroes The Authority. This was the night Gal opened the show by saying “Never mind the earthquake, we’re the fucking Gonads!” It was also when the club bouncer welcomed us with a cheery “Have you got any weapons? Do you want some?” Later he told us: “If you hear a gunshot tonight, drop to the floor.” It was the fastest gig we ever played. Full story told in Bushell On The Rampage...

The Magnificent Gonads

Waistrel is looking for an Elvis Presley impersonator for a top secret recording project. Elvises (or should that be Elvii?) should contact

Jan 25. Quick up-date: Harvey Gardens announced this morning that Gal’s solo project will henceforth be known as the SkaNads... Bad Manners play Islington Assembly Hall on Sat 18th Feb. Tickets: £20... and international skin jamboree Bigger Boss 3 will take place at the Westcoast, Margate from 17th to 19th August.

In other news Johnny Ramone's autobiography is to be published eight years after he died of prostate cancer. ‘Commando: The Autobiography of Johnny Ramone’ is out in early April. His widow, Linda described the 176-page book as "kind of his last word that he knew would be out... It is a really powerful book because his whole life has gone before him and he knows it's going to come to an end, and he really needs to tell everybody what he's feeling inside, so that's what makes it so amazing," she added later. "That is the biggest, most powerful thing, writing a book when you know you're dying." Johnny Ramone, born John Cummings died in 2004 at age 55 after battling cancer for five years. He started writing the book when he first became ill. Says Linda: "Johnny's legacy to him was so important, even while he was sick... It was like he knew he was dying, and he wanted to do something." Tommy Ramone, the only surviving original band member, wrote the foreword. He said: “Johnny Ramone's autobiography is a no holds barred, straight-forward book written in a no-nonsense style that is Johnny personified. His story is written in his own actual words, so the reader gets an insight into what made him the unique, charismatic and exciting individual that he was. It also gives a great view of The Ramones from Johnny's perspective." The epilogue was written by close pal Lisa Marie Presley.

Ex Priest axeman KK Downing is planning to open a luxury hotel in the grounds of his Shropshire stately home. Finally new employment for Benny from Crossroads. Brummie Downing, who retired from Judas Priest last April plans to build 63-room hotel, indoor swimming pool, spa and a top class restaurant in the grounds of his 320-acre estate. He already has the golf course. Fat Col says he hopes the porn channel will be disabled because he’s “really in to the sick stuff.” Tit.

We’ve had an abusive and vaguely threatening email from Martin Sporrell (aggressive Gooner) who asks us to point out that the Orgasm Guerrillas’ song we mentioned is actually called ‘You Swing, I Ching’. Apologies.

Jan 24. Right, this is the confirmed line-up for Saturday’s big show: The Gonads, Billy Bones and The Legendary Groovy Men. Please note: this will be our ONLY LONDON SHOW in 2012. It’s at The Lime Street Exchange, 52 Lime Street, London EC3M 7BS. The ravishing Wattsie Watts will join us on stage for the first-ever public playing of ‘Lotto’, ‘Beki Bondage Please’ and ‘Stop That Drumming’. The Franken-Skin will make an appearance. And there will be a chance to win one copy of the 30th anniversary Oi! album (worth £30) plus ‘Dance Craze’. It’s the gig of the month!

Random whispers: Chris Pope’s band Pope have just finished recording their third album, due out in March, our man on the inside tells us that it’s their strongest to date... Mick Talbot of the Style Council is said to be recording with punk-folk rebel Louise Distras... rising Ska and reggae stars the Paradimes are recording their debut album... and the Orgasm Guerrillas have started recording theirs, which will mix new songs such as ‘Anarchy Kebab’, ‘I Ching’, ‘Wheel Of Dharma’ and ‘Till She Screams’ with old favourites ‘Sing Something Swindle’, ‘Aloha’ and ‘Frankie Goes To Pot.’ We did ask their manager, the aggressive Gooner Martin Sporrell when it was coming out and he told us “it’s none of your effing business, clot”, only he didn’t say effing. Or clot.

Beast TV... it’s coming! Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Jan 23. We raced against the clock to restore ‘Skinhead Girl’ to its rightful glory today. With the original version wiped – either accidentally or as a deliberate act of sabotage, Gal rushed back to the studio to re-record the verses... we think we got the song to the record company in time as a WAV file but so far there has been an inscrutable silence from the bunker-fish bunker... updates to follow...

Reasons we’re glad FB is coming back number 97: Brain of Britain reject South Coast Steve has booked us a rehearsal on Saturday (yeah, the day of the gig!) which finishes six sodding hours before we’re due on stage. If he thinks we’re going on one of his walking tours in between he can poke his cow-bells where the sun don’t shine.

Here is rare footage of an early incarnation of Maninblack playing the songs of André Schlesinger’s legendary earlier group The Press (the first ever US Oi band) in New York’s Old Knitting Factory: The songs are ‘Revolution Now’ and ‘ASAP’.

And here’s ‘Julian’ (the hooligan) by Parisian band The Misogynes: Really? A hooligan called Julian? Who’s the rest of his firm then? Tarquin, Tristram, Peregrine and Gilbert?

Drummer needed! Pathetique punk flag-bearers Monkish are looking for a new sticks man. If that’s you, email and don’t piss in his microwave.

Jan 22. History lesson time: in this shot, Dave Parsons, Steve Jones, Paul Cook, James Pursey... and Gal (behind Dave’s head!)... on the way back from Glasgow in 1979... In the background, diagonally opposite GB is Jimmy's cousin Freddie the Road Rat, picture by Grant Fleming who says “I like the two old dears sat untroubled in the corners of the picture; despite the assorted rabble they were treated with nothing but respect and consideration – wouldn’t be the same these days would it?”


*FB is now coming to the end of his lengthy association with the Lord Lucan hotel group (Shergar Suite) and will be rejoining the Gonads management team full time in February. His return has been prompted by the sheer genius of Greater Hits Volume Two: The Mutt’s Nuts but has already been marred by the latest Fat Col scandal, an outrage so shocking that it has been dubbed ‘Gannon Gate’ by horrified observers. The fat fool Gannon had two discs and a set of simple instructions from Waistrel: 1) post disc A to Randale Records 2) destroy disc B which contained incomplete mixes. You know where this is going don’t you? That’s right, the Germans now have disc B which includes the unfinished version of ‘Skinhead Girl’ with Gal’s guide vocals on the first verse. Said FB: “It’s a shocking mistake, which is compounded by the rumour that the mix-up largely occurred because Gannon was intending to bootleg the album and sell illicit copies round the back of the Charlton Conservative Club and at car boot sales on Sundays in the Charlton and Plumstead area.” FB is tearing the studio apart trying to find a copy of the correct finished version before the master goes to the pressing plant. The tight-lipped band catering and logistics manager tells us: “It would be tragic if the wrong version goes on the album, because this is the hardest rocking track this band has ever recorded – the song is heavier than Franken-Skin in concrete boots and is guaranteed to leave your arse like a hippo’s yawn!” Although frankly that’s not an image we care to linger on.

Talking of The Franken-Skin, his story will live on in new song ‘Son Of Franken-Skin’, a punk rock opera no less which is currently being worked on by Frankie in his dungeon cellar. The riff allegedly “punches like the Hulk on PCP.” PS. As catering and logistics manager, FB is now known as CALM for short – unlike Col who recently became Corporate Underwriter, Nads Technology...

STOP PRESS 1: this just in! It wasn’t just the wrong track. Instead of sending the sleeve notes, Col also managed to send Randale the recipe for the Legendary Gonads Curry. A concerned FB advises fans who are not regular curry eaters not to even think of sampling the dish. “It’s a Health & Safety issue,” he explains. “You need cast iron guts to even smell it, and a jumbo pack of refrigerated Andrex to deal with the consequences.”

STOP PRESS 2: crisis in Nads camp! Gannon is now attempting to deflect the heat from himself by suggesting that other band members (to wit Nacho Jase) are involved in bootlegging improprieties. We are confident that Nacho’s good name will be cleared before his lucrative Just For Men contract is threatened by this fast-developing scandal. PS “Anyone wanna buy a well-known 1970s rock star bassist’s soon-come solo album?” says Fat Col (see facebook for updates).

Serious shit: Danielle Delottinville, singer with all-girl Canadian punk band Pantychrist has been charged with murder alongside two men, after what cops call “a robbery gone wrong.” Victim Jessie Kovacs was a disabled retired antiques dealer.

Random news: The classic ‘Fat Music For Fat People’ comp is being re-released as a limited edition 1,000 pressing by Fat Wreck Chords – for just three bucks... The genuinely legendary Dave Barker and Rico Rodriguez are the latest additions to the London International Ska Festival...

Jan 21. Russian cops nicked an all-girl punk group called Pussy Riot yesterday - after they played a protest song criticising Vladimir Putin in Red Square, Moscow. The eight band members, wearing mini-dresses and balaclavas, climbed over railings onto a stone platform next to St Basil’s Cathedral to perform a song called ‘Putin Has Pissed Himself’. All eight were detained at the nearby Kitai-Gorod nick and four have been charged with non-criminal public order offences. The ‘crimes’ carry a maximum punishment of 15 days behind bars (or as Fat Col puts it “Close shave for Pussy. Pussy Putin Jail... What’s short, bald and fucks Pussy? Vladimir Putin... etc, what a loss he is to the Sunday Sport) Solidarity sisters! We love Pussy, warts and all.

Great news psychobilly fans: The Koffin Kats’ new album ‘Our Way & The Highway’ is out now on Sailor’s Grave records, it’s described by experts (well, Fat Col) as “a proper mental celebration of Brylcream, tatts and punkoid rock 'n' roll”... also out this week, albums from Gallows, C.R.A.S.H. and the mighty Voodoo Glow Skulls.

Random guffery: 999 play BH2 tonight... Carol Harrison is set to star in a new Mod-themed musical All Or Nothing...Secret Affair will release a new studio album this year... the new Maximumrocknroll is out including chats with Terrible Feelings, Big Eyes, the Unruled and more... big London benefit for Kinks legend Peter Quaife this summer – details to follow.

Jan 20 STOP PRESS: R.I.P. Etta James “the ultimate blues mama”, one of the most powerful and versatile voices in rock. Etta was born Jamesetta Hawkins in Los Angeles on Jan. 25, 1938. Her mother, Dorothy Hawkins was 14 at the time; her father was AWOL. Etta never knew for sure who he was, although her mum said he was Minnesota Fats, (celebrated pool player Rudolf Wanderone). Etta began singing at the St. Paul Baptist Church in Los Angeles at 5; she was 15 when she recorded her first record ‘Roll With Me Henry’ which set her own lyrics to the tune of Hank Ballard’s hit ‘Work With Me Annie’. When some DJs moaned about the suggestive title, she changed it to ‘The Wallflower’ and got to Number 2 in the r&b charts. Her rise to fame, and subsequent drug problems (smack in the 60s; Charlie in the 70s) are described candidly in her autobiography, Rage To Survive, written with David Ritz.

Jan 20. Pre-release reactions to our new album have been fair to sensational. The record company Randale emailed excitedly from the Black Forest fish farm (the bunker fish Bunker?) to say the Gonads "SIND SEXGÖTTER!!!!" - sex gods - which is of course true. They loved it so much they played the master CD five times in a row, and pronounced 'England In Our Blood' and 'Rob A Bank' to be their favourite tracks. And Wattsie Watts reckons it is "definitely the best Gonads album so far", adding that stonking Ska song 'Lotto' "must be rush-released as a single." Ska band P45 agree and, to the fury of Fat Col, are rush-recording their own version of 'Lotto' to try and beat us to the charts. The cheeky bastards! Luckily our management team - The Beast, FB and Wattsie - are on the case (so P45 it is then - Ed). 'Lotto' and 'Stop That Drumming' will be played live for the FIRST TIME EVER at our Balls Brothers gig on Jan 28th. Greater Hits Volume Two: The Mutt's Nuts is scheduled for an early March release. Premature talk of volume three has been banished from this website (although Col's banging on about it down the Newbridge).

Meanwhile Gal's occasional personal manager, the spiv-like Harvey Gardens tells us that GB will be putting the finishing touches to his solo ep - a taster for the coming solo album - early next month.

Gig noos: Pauline and Gappa's The Selecter are also playing the Cherry Red Stadium, Kingston-upon-Thames on Jan 28th (tickets £17.50 - so it's a lot cheaper to come and see us at Balls Brothers, Lime Street!)... The Chords play Islington Assembly Hall on March 30th... The Dropkick Murphys have announced two more Boston home-town shows as part of their annual St Patrick's Day (month?) tour, European dates start in Croatia on Sunday; the lads reach Liverpool on 8th Feb, London on the 10th, Glasgow: 11th.

Jan 19. A big thank you from Gal to everyone who came along for the Dance Craze book launch at Balls Brothers last night. With a 250 strong turn-out, there are too many to mention by name but the skanking ranks included Buster Bloodvessel, Jennie Bellestar, King Hammond, Case, Carol Harrison off of EastEnders (and Brush Strokes), la belle Vicki Michelle, Dave Cairns (Secret Affair), Hoxton Tom, Sir John King, Steve Whale, Spizz, Simon Stebbing from the Purple Hearts, Jim The Piddler (LTS), various Riders Of The Night, a hit squad from the Daily Star Sunday and a plethora of faces familiar to readers of this blog such as the ravishing Wattsie Watts, Antonia Moore (“the black Marilyn”), trACEy, Tottenham Sean, Charlton Tel, Cass Pennant, Grant Fleming, Manic Esso, Chelsea Dom, Mod guru Richard Barnes, film director Rob Gomez, Sean Flowerdew from Pama, Buster Shuffle, Garrie Lammin, Jonny Owen from Shameless and of course Paul Hallam (“the Stalin of Style”) who pulled it all together. The only mild controversy was Acid Jazz guru Eddie Piller nearly getting turned away from the bash (“the early warning round-dodger detector worked then” – anon). Apologies for absence were received from Fatty Lol and KC from Dub City Rockers (too busy “playing Quadrophenia on the beach”), The Beast, Watford Jon, Clyde Ward (in Cyprus) and Lee Thompson who’s in Italy. A more sober and detailed report is unlikely to follow.

Dance Craze - Launch Party

Dance Craze - Launch Party

Dance Craze - Launch Party

Dance Craze - Launch Party

Dance Craze - Launch Party   Dance Craze - Launch Party

Dance Craze - Launch Party   Dance Craze - Launch Party
Pics by Brian Hanrahan

and then there's this - the first ever picture of Vicki Michelle and a man in an Orient shirt.....
Dance Craze - Launch Party

Mik Whitnell from Babyshambles and DJ Ash Sarkar
Dance Craze - Launch Party

PS. Apologies to all those turned away at the door. We had moved the party to a bigger venue, but it still wasn’t big enough! Additional thanks to Snoozy Suzy who surprised Gal with a mystery present last night which he’s just unwrapped: two rare early 1960s Blue Beat label singles – one Prince Buster, the other Byron Lee. Bloody hell! What a nice thought. If Fat Col were here he’d almost certainly advocate giving Suze a reciprocal seven inch gift (I doubt he’d measure up – Batttttty). Meanwhile Mark Wyeth from Symarip emails to say “I especially enjoyed the Judge Dread chapter - I can't remember the last time I heard the expression 'What a Brahmma!' - I have to say there were a few there last night.” Indeed. By the way, to those who are asking, Mr. Bushell’s “boss whistle” was hand-made by Mr. Eddie in Dean Street, and described by Gal as “my last great extravagance.”

Random guff: the Rejects are set to play Punk Rock Bowling in Vegas this May... Cass tells us that he is planning to build on the success of his excellent Casuals DVD by holding a related festival later this year... Thomas ‘Mensi’ Mensforth has announced that he is “stepping out the music scene until further notice”, which will surprise many people who didn’t know he was in it. The big lug cites his new found status as a single parent as the main reason. He threatens to “return when I get sorted.”

A shrine to South London comedy legend Malcolm Hardee will be unveiled during the regular Friday Open Mic Night at the Star & Garter in Greenwich tomorrow night. The regular show starts at 8.30pm but, from 10.00pm, there will be a “memorial mumble” in Hardee’s honour with wild anecdotes about Malcolm, some poems and songs about him and who knows what degeneracy. Our informant reports “Or, on the other hand, as a fitting tribute to Malcolm, it may just all disintegrate into a drunken shambles... They may even repeat the six jokes he survived on for twenty years... The 20th January is somewhere between Malcolm’s birth on 5th January and death on 31st January. Obviously, in different years...

Nov 18: We have received this message from Watford Jon calling a truce in the escalating war of words betwixt the Argy frontman and Fat Col. It reads: ‘Dearest Gal, after some lengthy deliberation in my favourite thinking place, The Wishing Well public house, I have decided to graciously accept Fat Col's apology and his generous offer of compensation; to wit, a light and bitter and a packet of pork scratchings. I won't pretend that I wasn't hurt by some of the comments which at times could've easily been classified as a hate crime. Under this ruggedly handsome exterior lives a man with feelings. After all Gal, when cut do I not bleed? Fortunately for Col I turned down Barnet Mark's offer of help which undoubtedly would have involved a unit of the HHS (Hertfordshire Hit Squad) paying him a visit. We can only imagine what the ensuing “shirts off” might have amounted to. We'll cement our rekindled relationship at the Dance Craze bash and draw a line under this whole tawdry affair. I remain Sir, blah blah blah, Jon

Pauline Black’s line-up of The Selecter have announced their ‘Made In Britain’ tour dates: March 1st: Sub 89 Reading, 2nd: Bogiez, Cardiff, 3rd The Fleece, Bristol, 8th: The Assembly, Leamington Spa; 9th: Citrus Club, Edinburgh; 10th: Reading Rooms, Dundee; 11th: Òran Mór, Glasgow; 15th: Guildhall, Gloucester; 16th: Rock City, Nottingham; 17th: 229, London; 18th: The Garage, Swansea; 22nd The Brook Southampton; 23rd: Brudenel Social Club, Leeds; 25th: Concorde 2, Brighton; 29th: Phoenix, Exeter; 30th: Robin 2, Wolverhampton; 31st: Eric’s Liverpool. Tickets available via

Jan 17: R.I.P. Dave Lee, a wonderful comedian and a good friend. Heaven just got funnier.

Jan 15. So Gal played puke box jurors Max and Bev 25 great tracks from 2011 for his podcast, including songs by Murderers’ Row, Monkish, Random Hand, The Dipsomaniacs, Buster Bloodvessel and Booze & Glory. While they were deliberating, Gal slipped on ‘Karl Marx Supported Millwall’ as a taster of our new album (out in March). “That’s brilliant,” the pissed pair said as one. “That’s the song of the year, forget the rest.” Wrong year sadly, but we told you these guys had taste. The podcast will be up and running TOMORROW here.

This blog will be back at the end of the week, when we may or may not have news on the Dance Craze launch party, our US ep, Gal’s solo recordings and the terrifying project code-named ‘Beast TV’. PS. Malcolm Dome’s Total Rock lock-up grows in splendour every time we go there; he now has a sixties style mini-bar, an antelope’s head and a fine collection of vinyl ranging from Johnny Cash to sixties and seventies TV show sound tracks.

A Multitude Of Sins

Checkout this month's Get Ready To Roll t-shirt competition. A Multitude of Sins will be supporting The Gonads in Blackpool on 26th February, and you can arrive in style if you bag yerself the prize before ya go. (Do you need any help with your packing?)

Jan 14. Calling all punk vinyl lovers: all FOUR of the Gonads 7inch singles are currently back in stock on the shop page, including our 1997 single ‘Oi Nutter’/‘England’s Glory’. So that’s ‘Franken-Skin’, ‘Oi The Resurrection’ with Klasse Kriminale and the blinding five track ‘Charlton Boys’ ep. But if you want one hurry, they sell out fast.

Some random news: the Angelic Upstarts have pulled out of Punk & Disorderly. They will be replaced by the original Sham, featuring James T. Pursey and Dave Parsons (but not Doidie Cacker). We ARE still on the bill. But please note there will be no Gonads gigs in June (after the Jubilee weekend), July or August by order of t’committee...

OUT NOW: the new single from Jennie Bellestar’s 1-Stop-Experience – ‘Peeping Tom’, which can be purchased here... also just out a six song slab of LA hardcore on 7inch vinyl from Minority Unit: ‘C.M.F.’ (Clear Minded Fury) on 6131 Records... and ‘This Means War’ the ‘metal-pop’ third album from Attack Attack! (Rise Records)... Public Enemy will release two new albums this year... and Bruce Springsteen’s next album (expected March) will be his “angriest yet”

What else is happening? Slipknot are launching their own production company to make “psychological” flicks. Hmm. They’d probably wouldn’t be interested in ‘Curry On Up The Gonads’, but Fat Col’s eating habits are a psychological horror in themselves...

JAN 13. STOP PRESS! Hold the front page, we've got proper news people. The 30th anniversary Oi album is finally here at Nads HQ! Yes, this picture is not faked. The tasty triple album, '30 Years Of Oi! Never Surrender' is actually in our mitts at last - a mere 23 months behind schedule but who's counting? It was worth the wait! Lovingly prepared, with brilliant artwork by Alteau, the quality collection, compiled by Gal, boasts no less than FORTY stomping great tracks from Argy-Bargy, The Masons, the Cockney Rejects, Cock Sparrer, the Gonads (but of course), Maninblack, Perkele, Evil Conduct, Control, NOi!se, Darkbuster, On The Job, Tommy & The Terrors, Nabat, The Business, The Blades, Hammer & The Nails, the Old Firm Casuals, The Traditionals, Patriot, Marching Orders, The Last Resort, Stomper 98, The East End Badoes (Who they? - Ed), Runnin' Riot, Resistance 77, Mouthguard, Geoffrey Oi!Cott, Sab Grey & TRA, the Bombardiers, the Misogynes, Booze & Glory, Foreign Legion, The Ruckers, The Veros, Volxsturm, The Agitators, Iron Cross, and the magnificent Oi!Oi! All-Stars singing 'Spirit of England'. PHEW! 1,000 vinyl sets have been made, in various colours, and the CDs will follow. It's a solid-gold classic must-have collectors' item. Now, anyone got a record player?

You can buy the album here.

30 Years of Oi!

The arrival of the 30th anniversary Oi album was a major blow to bookies who were giving 90-1 on it not materialising before August. However you can still get 1000-1 on the following unlikely events: 1) Alien invasion 2) Scoops buying a round 3) Terry Hayes, PM, delivering on his slap-up Chinese meal promise.

Gal recorded his latest podcast today, a Puke Box Jury classic with guests Max Splodge and Bev Elliott ("the fairest and finest judges this side of the Ugandan high court") weighing up 25 tracks to decide the street song of 2011. We'll let you know when you can hear the result.

Jan 13. Important notice. Gal today has apologised sincerely to Watford Jon, a good friend of this band, who has been subjected to such a shocking verbal attack from the disreputable Fat Col and his odious oppo The Beast, shamefully on these very pages. Says Gal: “There should never be any bad feeling between Argy Bargy and The Gonads. In many ways, we are brother bands, kindred spirits at the very top of the Oi tree in the UK and globally. London is big enough for both of us.” Here, here. In the spirit of friendship we now print pictures of female fans associated with both groups to prove there is no lingering stench of animosity.

Typical Argy fan, Titania, the rose of Watford...      typical Gonads fan, flag-girl Vikki Thomas;
“inseparable to the naked eye” – David Blunkett

Argy fan         Gonads fan

Big news: more Gonads UK gigs were announced today. We play Bletchley on May 19th: The Dolphin, Whaddon Way, Bletchley, MK3 7JZ (Did Fat Col book this? - Suspicious Ed); and York on May 4th: STEREO Live Music Venue and Bar, 54 Gillygate, York, YO31 7EQ. Have it!

Jan 12. Fat Col vs. Watford Jon Round Two: a furious Watford contacted Nads HQ yesterday to insist that Argy-Bargy’s 12 Bar gig on Jan 28th had “been booked for months now and has been on OUR website for ages”. He raged: “So I put it to Fat Col that it was in fact you lot that tried to nause up our gig out of malice just because we get all the decent crumpet at our shows.” Jon concluded with an air of menace: “If Fat Col wants to discuss it further with a delegation from from W.A.R. (that's Watford Away Raiders to you, squire) then I'm only a phone call away...”  But a spokesman for an unrepentant Col, The Beast (for it was he) seemed unconcerned by Watford’s tit-for-tat aggression. “The Gonads could ‘out-pull’ Jon’s boys any day he likes to call it on,” he said, with a note of who-wants-it? steel in his voice. “Just examine the photographic evidence. Argy-Bargy look like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, whereas the Gonads are clearly hunks and Adonis’s to a man. I don’t know what ‘crumpet’ Watford thinks he can attract; someone should tell him they don’t let guide dogs into the 12 Bar.” Ouch...

Watford: ‘hideously ugly’...        Nacho: ‘Adonis’

Watford: ‘hideously ugly’         Nacho: ‘Adonis’

Fears are growing about Gal’s state of mind. Word has it that our leader has been spending a little too much time hanging around with Sharron Stiletto and “it’s starting to rub off on him.” What exactly is rubbing off on him does not bear thinking about. Worse, Wattsie whispers that “photographic evidence” exists involving a woman called Wanda which “could destroy Gal’s reputation” (Whatever that is – Ed). Wattsie adds: “He may be the Godfather of Oi but he’ll never recover from this shocking sex scandal.” Gulp. Meanwhile worried about Mick Maverick's growing pin-up status, Allyson Mav is insisting on coming with us to Germany as “band chaperone” to “beat off skin-birds with a stick.” And if The Nosher wants to come along to beat any of us off, then... (Cut! – Ed)

Still no sign of the 30th Anniversary Oi album here in beautiful downtown Charlton Village, but we’re assured that they are coming via Herr Hechti’s fleet of semi-trained Contra carrier pigeons. William Hill’s are giving good odds that the PM’s promised “slap-up Chinese” will materialise before Never Surrender ever does.

Help 4 Heroes news: Stief and Kurt from the Noxious Toyz have registered to skydive in aid of Help 4 Heroes; their big old leap will be part of the big June H4H weekender. Mark the landlord of The Horn & Horseshoes is doing the jump at 15000 feet too. (South Coast may join them without a parachute and keep himself afloat by the power of his hot air alone). Says Stief: “This is where you 'orrible lot out there come into it. Below is my sponsor form link. PLEASE donate whatever you can and let's smash the target and raise loads of dosh for our great HEROES...” - HERE.

Random news: veteran punk band London release their second album ‘Reboot’ on Feb 13th – nearly 35 years after the first one ‘Animal Games’ came out; it’ll be on Bin Liner Records... Anti-Flag’s new album ‘General Strike’ is due on March 20th... The Orgasm Guerrillas are said to be working “seriously” on their debut album... Menace and the Misogynes play Bar le Select in Lille on Feb 4th; “Easy to reach via Eurostar... cheap hotels!” apparently.


Jan 11. Good news. Gal’s 2-Tone book Dance Craze will be translated into German and Spanish. Meanwhile, if you’re coming to the book launch next week, check your emails because the venue has changed.

*Fat Col has erupted in fury at the revelation that Argy-Bargy are playing the 12-Bar Club on the night of our ‘Balls To The World’ London show. Spitting goblets of venom, the veteran Charlton hooligan berated Watford Jon in language that would have made Chubby Brown blush. “I told that Watford straight that he was bang out of order trying to steal our thunder,” Col raged. “He told me it was a ‘coincidence’. I told him not to piss on my boots and tell me it’s raining!” He went on: “Jon knew we’re playing Balls Brothers that night, it’s been on the website long enough! He has deliberately and maliciously set out to fuck it up. I told him that Argy-Bargy were a bunch of lazy, no-good slags who should be driven out of London by the mob.” And what did Watford say to that, we asked? “I dunno,” replied Col. “I put the phone down on him.” Idiot. Actually we’re glad Argy are playing that night – they’ll attract all the uglies. The beautiful people will come to Balls Brothers.

The Red Rooms in Ealing re-opens on Feb 23rd under the auspices of Snoozy Suzy. Formerly known as The Ealing Club, this was the venue where Alexis Korner introduced Mick Jagger and Keef to Brian Jones back in 1962. The club is kicking back to life with a night of Glam Rock and psychedelic blues featuring the 335, Pink Cigar and Four Wheel Drive. Doors open at 8pm - 1am, £5 entry. Over 21s only. Sadly the club has so far resisted our entirely serious suggestion of a ‘Sexual Ealing’ night featuring the Gonads, Kiria, Jennie Bellestar and a seriously large portion of lovers’ rock.

Jan 10. By the time you read this, the master tape of ‘Greater Hits Volume 2: The Mutt’s Nuts’ will be on its way to the Black Forest. It will be personally delivered to Fraulein Diana by Scrotum, Lord Waistrel’s wrinkled retainer, because, as Gal points out we obviously can’t rely on the continental post. Why, Contra allegedly mailed us the 30th Anniversary Oi album two weeks ago and it still hasn’t ’kin got here... But we digress. We’re here to talk about the Mutt’s Nuts. We’ve been playing it all night and it is the DOG’S BOLLOCKS! And yes, we know that you’re jaundiced modern people unimpressed by cheap hype and casual bullshit, but please believe us when we say hand on heart: this is the best Gonads album ever. Seriously. It’s even better than Plums. It contains 20 tracks and not one of them is substandard. You wait, you will love it. We may be off-line for a few days now, we’re ’kin knackered!

Jan 9. After a magnificent couple of days in the studio we have finally completed Greater Hits Volume 2. It is awesome: chockfull of punk, Oi, hardcore, rock and Ska. There are so many great tracks on this album it’s hard to know where to start. But the band’s own favourites are ‘She Can’t Whip Me’ (sung by Leah McCaffrey), ‘Beki Bondage Please’, ‘England In Our Blood’, ‘Lotto’ and ‘Getting Pissed’ (one of which we’ll probably play on the 28th). ‘The Joys Of Oi’ and ‘Stop That Drumming’ have their champions too. The heaviest song is ‘These Are Our Streets’ (especially now it’s got the AK47 on it). One of today’s many highlights was a flying visit from rock legend FIN MUIR from Waysted – the guy who sang the theme to Ricky Gervais’s The Office. Fin breezed in and recorded a stunning version of ‘Lager Top Blues’. An instant classic. What next? It’s possible that a club mix of ‘Lotto’ will come out as a single this summer, but next time we’re in the studio it’ll be to record a split single with our US pals The Uprisers about which more in due course.

FACT: the original version of ‘Lotto’ very nearly released as a single by Pete Waterman back in ’96 until Clyde decided to give it an insane last minute ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ remix (FFS!). Mr. Waterman quickly changed his mind, but the never-released b-side ‘Mystic Meg’ did get played late night on ITV at the time.

Random shit: Cock Sparrer will headline the Rebellion Xmas party at the Ballroom, Birmingham (formerly the shit Academy, and before that the Hummingbird) – date? December 8th... Here’s a band we really dig: - check em out on YouTube... and The Corps are good and all... here’s a quality trailer for the new Motherwell hooligan book... new moves are afoot to put together a serious modern SHARP compilation (that’s Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice)...

Coming soon from South Coast Steve, two new bootleg CD releases: a detailed guide to ‘Hovis Hill’ in Shaftesbury, Dorset, and the rather more salubrious ‘click track sex tape’; we’ll pass on both, thanks.

Sandra Lane emails from Northampton to ask whatever happened to the version of ‘Infected’ that Right Said Fred recorded a few years ago. Long story short, it was about to be released in the US when the Freds’ label GUT Records went bust owing millions – put it down to the Curse of Waistrel....

Jan 9. One of the undoubted highlights of our new album ‘Greater Hits Volume Two: The Mutt’s Nuts’ is the sprightly 2012 version of ‘Karl Marx Supported Millwall.’ For many years, this song has been dismissed by scholars as a mere comic confection but as you can see, our picture offers incontrovertible proof that Gal’s lyrics have their roots in solid historical fact. Karl Marx did indeed support the team that became Millwall FC. It was originally formed by workers at a canning plant (J.T. Morton’s) and played on the Isle of Dogs. They were then known as “the Dockers”. Karl is said to have predicted the “historical inevitability” of an FA Cup victory and was renowned for his witty terrace repartee and chants such as: “Who’s the plutocrat in the Savile Row hat?”, “One Frederick Engels, there’s only one Frederick Engels”; “He’s bald, he’s red, he mistook all I said, Vladimir! Vladimir!” and the classic and comradely “If she won’t come, I’ll tickle her bum with a lump of celery...” [For the racy Victorian Music Hall show "I'm A Bit Of Celery Get Me Out Of Here"? Ed.] Engels of course was Man United. Research by Dr Durfoto and Professor F. Ibber.


FACT: inspired by our song, Paul Hallam (‘the Stalin of Style’) has developed a modern Millwall Marxist Manifesto calling for the working class to reclaim the game. His demands include ‘Bring back the terraces’, club boards to be democratically elected, ticket prices to be capped at £5 and the abolition of the Premier League – well, let’s face it, MFC will never be in it.

Jan 7. Fat Col writes: ‘Why is Mick Maverick in Celebrity Big Brother pretending to be a Welsh rugby player?’ We don’t see the resemblance ourselves... one's a rough, tough, bald, ginger bear of a man admired by homosexualists, the other is in Big Brother...

Okay, we have just 72 hours to finish Greater Hits Volume 2 in order to meet Diana’s uber-strict release schedule. Failure to comply could result in a severe thrashing from Randale’s punishment enforcer Brunhilde (with any luck). How best to describe Brunhilde? Imagine 7 Of 9 dressed by Wagner and trained by Beki...

This is brilliant! Viva Ska Vegas will take place in Henderson, just outside Las Vegas, on April 28th, 2012. Acts confirmed for the one-day fest include The Aquabats, Voodoo Glow Skulls, MU330, Monkey and The Remedies. It will be held at the Events Centre in Henderson, Nevada. More acts to be announced. Tickets on sale today via Ticketfly.

Jan 6. Fat Col has disgraced himself again, this time by going on German websites and promising any skinbirds and punkettes coming to our March 3rd gig at Die Forellenstube a free t-shirt if they let him “kiss them where it’s fishy.” Dolt. Chelsea Dom takes a dim view of all this fish-related filth. He writes: ‘For cod's hake, I wish you'd stop carping on about your gig at a fish farm - talk about angling for publicity, which you're a dab hand at. Get your skates on and stop pouting!’ Well that’s told us. Unfortunately this leaves us between a rock (salmon) and a hard plaice. If we’re not allowed to make bad fish puns for the next two months, we feel that our lives will be without porpoise.


Serious shit. Singaporean grindcore trio Wormrot were nicked in Malaysia on New Year's Eve after playing Kuala Lumpur’s Rumah Api venue. They’d returned to their hotel after the show when their room was raided by the local state's religious department. The group was arrested and taken to the local police station. Wormrot explain: “We were detained in two police stations (after) 3am by the JAIS - Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor (Selangor Islamic Religious Department) after they raided the hotel we were staying at, because of the Islamic law stating that unmarried Muslim men and women are not allowed to be in one room. There were seven of us, four boys and three girls, in that room getting ready to chill downstairs at the lobby... They tried to fine us 3000RM ($950 USD) each as well if our organizer didn't call his lawyer, bail us out and (explain) the fact that we are foreigners. All I can say is, AWESOME show, great food, and being detained in the police station... Damn! What a way to start 2012!” This incident follows an Islamic police assault on punks and skins in Indonesia last month. But Wormrot say: “Please do not think badly of the religion. Every religion is peaceful. In every religion, there's always some people who are extremists. Don't condemn the religion just because of these jokers.” Full account here.

Normal service is now resumed... Following yesterday’s news about the Vibrators’ deluxe vibrator, we have been approached by Sex Shop Si Spanner about the possibility of launching bona-fide Gonads Love Balls. Our New York lesbian consultant, the strict and sturdy Sally Hand has volunteered to road-test (or should that be ride-test?) Spanner’s prototype (pictured) “to destruction”. If they do the job, our Love Balls will be on sale later in the year for about six quid – an ideal “stocking filler”, says Spanner. Or possibly stocking thriller.

Stocking Filler

Tickets for our big Blackpool show, The Gonads Come Again, are now on sale for £7.50, buy them on-line here.

Punk’n’roll Yanks, Red Hot Rebellion, release their debut album of the same name on 7th Feb. It comes with a ten page comic book written by singer Jim Tramontana and drawn by Pete Wonsowski – each page is based on an album track.

Jan 5. ‘Never Surrender’ Up-date: The 30th anniversary Oi album has still not arrived at Nads HQ, but someone we know and trust has actually got hold of a copy. Yes, Gonads fan Glenn from Middlesex is now officially the first person in the UK to own this magnificent platter. (That he also bought Gal’s best-selling Dance Craze book establishes him as a man of great vision – and entitles him to a slot on the guest-list at our Jan 28th ‘Balls To The World’ gig as well.) More news when we actually have the double album in our mitts...

FB (he’s coming back folks!) tells us he has “dealt with” Fat Col for setting up the launch party for our own new album (Greater Hits Volume 2) at a German fish farm in March, where we’ll be paid in herring and trout. “Did you give Col a slap?” we asked. “No,” FB replied. “I just gave him a pollocking.”

Random news: our New York compadres, Maninblack, are looking for a drummer – you can download their new single for free, here. The four track ‘Buster’s Ska Battalion’ physical ep will “definitely” be released at Easter... The Vibrators have reportedly teamed up with Lovehoney to create their own Buzzin Bullet Vibrator, a three-speed sex toy. Apparently it comes in a coffin, much like Charlie Harper by all accounts.

Former Badoe Phil McDermott has been demoing new songs. He tells us: “I got so sick and tired of the crap politics in punk music in general, but especially in Oi! that I wrote a song about it. I got the raving hump with how many people wanted to know what our background was, what side of the right and left fence we sat on, etc, and if you responded with a nondescript ‘I just play guitar mate’ they'll eventually label you anyway! Wankers. They can all shove it up their arses.” His new song, ‘Just Wanna Play’ is a passionate but catchy attack on “stupid bloody politics.”

Jan 3. Brace yerself, Helga! We are playing Schramberg in Southern Germany on March 3rd, with local band Schusterjungs which we believe is German for "the young cobblers" (for the old cobblers, see Gal's column). On closer inspection, however, the venue (Die Forellenstube) appears to be a fish farm. Needless to say this was one of the many unusual gigs negotiated by Fat Col Gannon during his brief tenure as band manager. When cornered Col confessed: "Yes it is a fish farm, but a lot of good bands have played there." Us: "And what are we getting paid?" Col: "One thousand..." Us: "Good, pounds or Euros?" Col: "No, herring. You'll be paid in pickled herring, smoked trout and fresh mackerel, it's good gear, my life." On the plus side, the March 3rd gig will be the official launch party for 'Greater Hits Volume Two' - so we'd better crack on and finish it!

Col went on to reveal that his former wife Janette had once caught him in an act of congress with a fish. "She hit the roof," he said. "Wrong time, wrong plaice..." (Rim-shot!) He also suggests that our German flag-girl should be paid in what he colourfully calls "hot fish yoghurt". FACT #1: Colin Gannon is officially a fuck-wit. FACT #2: Schramberg is in an area called in Baden-Württemberg, a short distance from Rottweil, which we think is where the Growler was born.

The launch party/knees-up for Gal's 2-Tone book Dance Craze will be in London on January 18th. More details to follow. The book is now back in stock at HMV, in store and on-line. It is also available from here, or direct from our shop page. Feel free to 'like' it here.

Paul Hallam ("the Stalin of Style") made an unannounced visit to Nads HQ yesterday and gave a massive thumbs up to 'Karl Marx Supported Millwall'. (He was pretty keen on 'Getting Pissed' and 'Sandra Bigg (Really Big)' too.) Paul and Gal will team up with Eddie Pillar next week for a meeting which they tell us "could change the face of the UK music scene forever." Intriguing. Although on past form this will probably just involve 73 slap-up steak dinners at Boisdale's admiring the sturdy legs of tartan-clad Australian waitresses...

Still no sign of the 30th anniversary Oi album in the UK. Our forensic team assure us that the photos of the magnificent platter are "as real as the moon landing". But one conspiracy-minded friend of David Icke suggests that "the boxes at the warehouse are all empty, and have always been empty; Contra Records will however cite illegal downloads as proof that it exists.

Vive Le Rock are hosting a festival at The Workhouse in Mid Wales on the weekend of the 15th/16th June 2012. Featured bands include DR FEELGOOD (Friday evening) and Ska legends THE SELECTER with Pauline Black (Saturday evening); plus our pals Foreign Legion, Vice Squad, and many more. Tickets on sale shortly from Tickets are £40 all weekend including camping.

Jan 2nd. 2012 is officially the year of the Gonads resurgence, of course. But it’s also the year of the London Olympics, the Queen’s Jubilee and the brilliant Cockney Rejects documentary film, East End Babylon. Gal’s considered guide to other major cultural events can be found here.

East End Babylon

January 1st. Fat Col writes: 'Happy New Year to everyone! (Except Leyton Orient... you slags!) We hope you started 2012 in true Gonads style - with a BANG! And then went back to drinking. Oi, oi!' Yeah, thanks Col. Here's some actual news: we're releasing a four-track split single with our US brothers The Uprisers later on this year, and teaming up with Pete Morcey of Forced Reality to record the awesome Slade-like stomper 'Glorious' (a new Gal/Clyde composition.) More details to follow.

New Years Eve 2011/2012

The Charlton and Tonbridge Jolly Pranksters teamed up for a proper Old Year's Night knees-up in Col's Plumstead gaff last night. Gal and Slippery Dan, pictured here with a couple of would-be Gonadettes, were there and although we can't show you more pictures or tell you much about the do because of the Pranksters' draconian blanket reporting ban, we can reveal that the brethren were treated to a full play back of rough mixes of our blinding new album, Greater Hits Volume Two: The Mutt's Nuts. 'Getting Pissed' was an instant crowd favourite - Effete El dubbed it "the very essence of Oi-Tone", while The Nosher (yeah, she's back) called it "a right fuckin' crack". 'These Are Our Streets' has already been adopted as an anthem by the Charlton Boys and the Millwall element. Other immediate crowd favourites were the head-banging 'Haemorrhoid' and the joyous 'Beki Bondage Please.' The new improved version of 'Sandra Bigg' went down, well, like the Nosher on heat to be exact. And one-time shop steward, Tonbridge Mick, was impressed by the lyrics to 'England In Our Blood', describing the song accurately as being "in the spirit of Chartists, Shelley and the Upstarts' 'England', and not any racist shit."

The recordings will be finished and the album mixed over two days early this month. It may clock in at TWENTY tracks and is on course for a March release. The Beast and FB are already talking about Volume 3. Gulp.

Remember, the next Gonads gig is on January 28th at Balls Brothers and it will be our ONLY London gig this year, so miss it at your peril. We play the Black Forest on 3rd March - more details to follow. And a proper bikers' rock festival has approached us about a summer show... meanwhile rumours abound that Infa-Riot and Superyob will play the TNT Fest in Connecticut in September.

Lord Waistrel still wants a young punk/street-rock vocalist for his latest secret project. Apparently no-one suitable has applied yet, so you still have a chance to become part of something major - if you're quick!