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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

Jan 31. We end the month on a subversive note. Fat Col has invoked the spirit of “the widow’s son” to summon Waistrel, the Beast and FB to appear before a ‘revolutionary Gonads tribunal’ to answer a number of complaints about their behaviour; to wit their dismal failure to procure worthwhile (or indeed any) gigs in this country or abroad. The Beast also faces “nuisance charges” for his endearing habit of ringing us up when we’re busy and then passing the phone on to drunks. An insider whispers: “It’s like 1794 at Nads HQ with Col and his Charlton Boy enforcers whipping the lads into an angry Parisian-style frenzy. The old order is under attack, purges have been called for, and promises are no longer enough. What we have here is the beginning of a new ‘Grand Terreur.’ The management will be asked ‘what have you done for us lately?’ and if the answer is fuck all, then they will face Madame Guillotine – metaphorically at least.” We’re sorry to hear it (specifically we’re sorry to hear that the guillotine is only a metaphor.) This is big, buddies! This is Egypt and Tunisia with a side order of Robespierre! To the barricades! Talk is cheap. Now is the time for action!

Superyob’s Bedford gig for Frankie Flame’s birthday was a triumph. Our mole in the hole tells us: “It was mayhem! Frank got so carried away with all the excitement that the band were hanging on for dear life with some of his 'interpretations' of the songs. The old boy really enjoyed himself...with more people on the stage than in the crowd by the end of it!” Good old Frank! They would have given him the bumps as well but didn’t have half an hour to spare – “105, 106, 107...” Meanwhile, we’re intrigued to spot an interview with the great man’s missus, Jill Flame, in German fanzine Der Randalierer in which she reveals that Frankie “loves my dumplings” (insert Andy Gray quote here), and that he “vacuums, irons and washes the dishes” (“A man after my own heart!” – Sharron Slutt). Jill adds “we are still on our honeymoon every day.” So if that joanna’s a-rocking, don’t come knocking...

Jan 30. Our ‘Greater Hits’ album (Volume One: Plums) is launched officially on Feb 26th. Invites for the party will go out shortly. If you don’t receive one and want to come email Waistrel to get on the guest list. The evening at the 12 Bar - the dirty, beating, heaving heart of London rock n roll – will be a punk rock party of two halves: the launch do for invited guests and assorted rapscallions, which will include a full album playback; and a paying gig later that night featuring us and Viva Las Vegas.

The Cockney Rejects documentary, East End Babylon, is due for release this Autumn, although there is still some filming to do. The lads are just finishing off their new album, which will probably be released early summer. It’s said to be the punkiest they’ve been since 1980, with bucket-loads of power, melody and fat-arse choruses.

Sandy Lane asks us to tell you that Woody Sez, a new musical about US folker Woody Guthrie is running at the Arts Theatre in Great Newport Street, London WC2, until April 2. Not keen on the old Stalinist’s politics, but a wrote a few good songs...

Captain Oi are discontinuing their picture disc vinyl range. For a limited time the first three classic Oi comps are available for just £7.99 a pop. In other record news: Me First & The Gimme Gimmes have just released five new songs in a double 7in vinyl package. ‘Go Down Under’ (Fat Wreck Chords) features covers of Aussie songs made famous by the likes of INXS, Air Supply and Olivia Newton-John (Wot? No Skippy? No Rolf?)... Control’s new album ‘Punk Rock Ruined My Life’ will be released in April... and Daggermouth’s album ‘Stallone’ is now available on coloured vinyl in a limited 500 copy edition (Animal Style Records.)

Jan 29. Woah! Another Gonadette made it onto TV yesterday. Antonia Moore (aka the Black Marilyn, our former flag-girl and one-time band photographer) appeared on ITV’s May The Best House Win. Antonia’s tasteful pad (complete with her picture of Gal and Clyde on the khazi wall) triumphed over all-comers and won £1,000. Her confession to “shopping” in skips raised a few eyebrows and the sight of her boudoir raised a few other things besides. But after Angelica last week, Antonia and very soon Harriett, the moral is clear: girls, if you want to get on TV, become a Gonadette. Don’t be shy, just lay back and think of ‘England’s Glory’...

Bruce Springsteen will guest on the new Dropkick Murphys’ album. The Boss, and Fat Mike from NOFX, will be yelping along on the band’s cover of the 1913 song ‘Peg O’ My Heart’. 1913? Strewth. Wasn’t that the year Frankie was born? On the strength of this, we’d like to invite Bruce down to our next recording session in South London so he can sing along on our version of ‘Pal Of My Cradle Days.’ Yes, we know it would be a compromise and an inconvenience and all that old palaver, but as long as he gets his round in he’ll fit in just fine.

Happy birthday to Frankie ‘Boy’ Flame, 65 (he says) today, and Terence Hayes, WM, 52. That’s El Tel, sometimes known as Two Bands, sometimes No Band, behind his back, Hair Band, and according to some clearly deranged bloggers ‘Should be Banned’. But always the “Paul Newman of Oi”... in his own mind at least.

Hear Danny Diablo's cover of Exploited's ‘Sex and Violence’ featuring Tim Armstrong and Everlast here.

All of the Clash’s London Calling album (except for ‘Train In Vain’) will soon be available through Rock Band 3. You can buy it either whole or track by track from Tuesday for Xbox360, PlayStation 3 and Wii. Punk rock? Not really. Fun though.

Ska News: tickets for the London Ska Fest are going like hot rude girls. Friday 22nd April (when Dave & Ansell Collins, the Trojans, the Loafers, the Hotknives & more are on the bill) has almost sold out completely. Ticket details and full line up here: Meanwhile Gal is hard at work compiling a new Ska sampler, which will feature brand spanking ditties by Ska turns old and new. More details when we have them.

Gig news: the Cockney Rejects headline Amsterdam Rebellion on May 1st alongside the UK Subs, with the Street Dogs, Argy Bargy, Criminal Class, The Defects and tons more... Ronnie Wood’s old sixties R&B band The Birds play the 100 Club on 12th Feb, with original singer Ali McKenzie. They’re also releasing their ‘lost single’, ‘That's All That I Need You For' (heard in the film The Deadly Bees) as a vinyl 45 for the first time...and Long Tall Shorty headline the 100 Club on 17th Feb with the Craven Braves . (DJ Chelsea Jeff).

RIP Marvelettes co-founder Gladys Horton who died yesterday, aged 66.

Talking of Shorty, a tired and emotional Lord Waistrel last night backed Sharron Slutt’s right to have Prince Abdullah’s baby. Quoth Waistrel: “Even though ‘she’ can’t actually have children, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Coalition’s, she can have the theoretical right to have babies.” Channelling the spirit of the Life of Brian (or drunkenly misquoting it – delete to taste) his Lordship concluded: “Shazza’s struggle is symbolic of our own struggle against oppression of all kinds... And also symbolic of her life-long struggle against reality.” These all night sittings in the Lords have clearly done the old boy’s brain in.

Jan 28. Today’s news is the mutt’s nuts. Oi The Book has now been officially commissioned. The whole story of Oi! will be recalled in detail. It won’t be a PC re-write of history, it won’t have a political axe to grind. It will just tell the truth as it happened, warts and all (not a Ross Halfin reference.) Every effort will be made to include every band who was ever part of or connected to the incredible Oi! dynasty – pathetique punk, streetpunk and all. But at the same time, the authors and editors need your help with facts, anecdotes and pictures. If you were in a smaller band, or followed one, make sure you remind them about it. Nobody’s knowledge is encyclopaedic.

Meanwhile, it’s unsurprising news on the ‘Oi! Never Surrender’ front. Contra have now put the release date for the long-awaited 30th anniversary Oi comp back from February to April (making in the 30th anniversary of ‘Strength Thru’ rather than ‘Oi The Album’). Still no word on the track listing...

Please note, Reggae Britannia, featuring Neville Staple and Pauline Black at the Barbican on Saturday week (Feb 5th) has now sold out. So if you haven’t got a ticket it’s tout time, baby...

Sharron Slutt, the popular transvestite tramp, tells us that she has had a proposal of marriage from “His Royal Highness Prince Abdullah Abdallah”. Shazza reckons she was shopping in the Louboutin store in Bond Street when the Prince’s bodyguard invited her to afternoon tea “in his penthouse in Claridges”. She goes on: “Over cakes and sarnies, HRH told me he was here to sign the documents for his top floor apartment at 1 Hyde Park and then suddenly he asked me to be his wife in London! I of course accepted, after all, who wouldn't? And once a few loose ends are tied up, i.e. the trifling fact I'm a married bloke already, I shall become Princess Sharron of Knightsbridge and have access to all the wealth one could dream of.” We do worry about the boy. Mind you we hear the old Arab royals are partial to a little “backdoor action” – one up bum, no harm done and all that. Brace yerself Shazza and think of the tiara. PS. Sharron will be Abdullah’s 17th “wife”. Says Fat Col: “One more and he’ll have a golf course.” Colin will not be taking over from Andy Gray any time soon.

Jan 27. Okay, we interrupt this self-imposed blog silence to inflict an avalanche of trivia, sorry vital news on you. First off, The Gonads ‘Greater Hits’ CD exists! It has arrived in Germany fresh from the pressing plant. Oli at Randale Record reports that it “looks fantastic and sounds like hell. Fucking great release!” Cheers, mate. It’s just got to get to us now... invitations for the launch party will go out shortly, but we’re pleased to report that we’ve already had acceptances from the dream girl trio of Wattsie, Kiria and, er, Sharron Slutt. Says Kiria: "We'll be competing for the biggest slapper of the night!”

PLUS we’ve sorted the Punk & Disorderly situation. We are NOT playing this April, but we will be on the bill in 2012 (just as soon as MAD guarantee our vigorous rider requirements - lager, curry, Buckfast, bar billiards, pork scratchings and a platoon of skinhead girls called Helga).

Gal’s Funny Old Bastards stand-up comedy show launch has been postponed – because Willie Thompson’s foot operation means he can’t actually stand up right now. It’ll be back on track this summer.

*The legendary Johnny Moped plays a rare date at the Dome in Tufnell Park on Friday 1st April 2011. Supports are The Roolettes, Monkish, and The Ten O Sevens. Tickets are £8 and available from here.

Jan 23. Superyob’s gig next Friday at Bedford Esquires is a very special occasion - Frankie Flame’s birthday. And it’s a big one. How old will Frankie Boy be? 65, the great man tells us. But in human years it’s a lot more... Don’t forget Nick Welsh plays the 12Bar next Saturday too. He tells us he’s doing an acoustic version of our own ‘Re-Infected’ which will be blinding for sure, and even better if he gets Kiria in for the female part, but the Dizzee Rascal take on ‘Oi Mate’ is what we’re waiting for. (Mention of Kiria’s female part has left Fat Col quite wobbly...)

*Shock Stock (& one scraping barrel) Announcement: we have now sold out of the ‘Back & Barking’ album. All stock has gone. Ditto Schizoi. They are both now officially collectors’ items... for retards.

*New Roger Miret q&a and the title track of the new Disasters album here.

*Aussie label Resist Records has started an Ebay auction to help the victims of the Australian floods. They're flogging rare records, discontinued discs and some white label test pressings, all donated by record labels around the world. All proceeds go to the Premier's Disaster Relief Appeal. It ends on Friday.

*That Frustrators’ ep we mentioned is out on 18th Feb on vinyl, CD and as a digital download. Mike Dimt’s side project will also do a short Californian tour.

This blog is temporarily closing down for ‘crisis management’. No further details are forthcoming.

Jan 22. No Nads In Berlin Shocker: Please note we are NOT currently playing Punk & Disorderly in April even though our name is on the poster and we’d really love to be there. The problem is we can’t find any evidence of us actually being asked to play this year. And it’s not like we can drop everything and go because Dan (Son Of Oi) gets married in Cardiff that Saturday.
A frustrated Beast tells us: “It may be that Gal and Mad Marc discussed this a year ago and Gal forgot – we know what his memory is like – but there is no paper trail to follow and we were definitely under the impression that we were not booked for the gig.” He goes on: “We would obviously love to play, Punk & Disorderly is our favourite punk festival by a country mile.
But it will all come down to how feasible it would be to airlift Gal from South Wales on Sunday morning. I’m not holding my breath. If it’s impossible we can only apologise to Marc and to the many discerning punters who were looking forward to some hardcore Nads action.” Bugger, bollocks and double bollocks. Sparrer, Deadline, Argy-Bargy, the Last Resort, the Grit and the League are among the many bands who are definitely on the bill.

Jan 21. Dust off your balls chaps and chapesses. The 13th annual Punk Rock Bowling Tournament in Las Vegas will take place between the 27th and 30th May (that’s the US Memorial Day Weekend) at a new location. Hotel deals, band and bowling info to come shortly. In a related story, Fat Col is appealing to UK punk bands to enter teams for the Pranksters Annual Quasar Challenge in beautiful down-town Bromley this summer.

RIP Alex Kirst. Iggy Pop’s old drummer has been killed in a hit-and-run accident in California. Kirst was knocked down by a white van in Cathedral City while walking on foot on January 13. His brother Whitey, who played guitar for Iggy. said Alex had "just went to the store to get a pack of cigarettes.” Police are appealing for potential witnesses to help identify the vehicle.

*Brian Fallon from the Gaslight Anthem has launched a side-project called The Horrible Crowes, with his guitar tech Ian Perkins. (For horrible blows see Francine Lewis, allegedly). They’re planning an album later this year. Some tour dates may follow. Meanwhile Gaslight are back in the studio in the Autumn.

Jan 20. Gonadette Angelica Fenney popped up on a C4 diet show last night. Scouse Angelica was on some kind of cabbage soup diet – and initially put on weight (maybe no one told her she was supposed to have the soup instead of pie and chips, and not as well) before losing an impressive two stone (“about the weight of one breast” – Fat Col). Rumours that Angelica was there as an advance guard for FB and the Beast are inaccurate and uncalled for. The show was called Will My Crash Diet Kill Me? To which the answer is: not as surely as Fat Col’s Crash Driving.

Can’t tell you much about this yet, but Buster Bloodvessel, Gal and Steve Whale have agreed to take part in a charity project (for the Erskine hospital) which could be very good indeed.

We’ve just heard that the US news media tried crassly to rope in Anti-Flag to the Arizona shooting scandal. Responding to reports that suspect Jared Lee Loughner was a fan, the band issued a statement saying: ‘For well over a decade Anti-Flag has endorsed non-violent progressive change and has lobbied for peace, equality, justice, and health care (including mental health care) for all people of America and the world. Anti-Flag unconditionally condemns the heinous actions of Mr. Loughner and our heartfelt condolences and best wishes go out to every single person affected by Mr. Loughner's senseless act of violence. Our message is and always has been very clear, violence in any form is unacceptable.’

Jan 19. The Dropkicks have posted 'Memorial Day', the first new track from the forthcoming album, on Rolling Stone, here. Apparently it's a concept album about an 18th century Irish immigrant to the US called Cornelius... and what's that? A shamrock on the front cover? We didn't see that coming.

As discussed yesterday, Jimmy Pursey and Day 21's debut album is called 'Who Killed Sham 69?'. Says Chelsea Dom: "So surely the next Sham album should be called, 'You Did, Jim'. " Rim-shot! Sham are apparently still working on their new album, but the Dave Parsons solo album is out - Gal played a taster on the podcast, Bev Elliott thinks it sounds like the Professionals. Just to complicate matters, 'Dare To Win' (featuring Sham and Jimmy Edwards) will be released under the guise of Sham 79. And Jimmy (Edwards, not Pursey) has put together a new line-up of Masterswitch with two of Flintlock. Confused? Take comfort in the fact that you aren't alone.

BTW, those 100 green vinyl pressings of 'Gonads Greater Hits Vol 1: Plums' look suspiciously blue to us...a nice surprise for everyone... we suspect German record labels may actually be run by a committee comprised of Mr Bean, Bobby Ball and the Three Stooges...

Jan 18. Anyone know what’s going on with Day 21, the band Jimmy Pursey and Mat Sargent formed with The Rev & Snell from Towers of London a couple of years back? They wrote and recorded most of their debut album in 2007 and finished it in 2008. They even did four gigs. In January 2009, they stuck their first song ‘Having It Rock’n’Roll’ up on YouTube and it came out as a single in March. The album ‘Who Killed Sham 69?’ was due to come out last October. According to their website it has been released. Only it hasn’t. It isn’t even available as a download. So what’s going on? One of our spies has done some digging and she came back with this report: “The album was finished but Pursey keeps re-writing stuff. He’s never happy with the words. He had one song about Haiti which he has now changed into a song about the London Olympics (!). It’s a bit frustrating, but that’s Jimmy. Everyone he works with thinks he’s nuts.” You don’t say! Pursey was as mad as a wet hen back in the 80s and he hasn’t got any saner. But if there’s any news of a release date or gigs (Jim’s last show was the Love Music Hate Racism festival in Budapest last August, in an all-star band with one of Babyshambles) we’ll pass it on. Expect to see the album on Day 2100.

Jan 17. Our tour manager and fixer, FB. today called on Gonads fans, and Nads pin-up Wattsie Watts, to remove any footage of the band that they have posted on YouTube. He said: “We ask you to remove this footage because it does not present an accurate picture of the current band. I’m not criticising previous line-ups, just emphasising that the Gonads were a different and more shambolic beast back then and we do not want people to think we are still operating on that lackadaisical level.” FB, aka the man the A Team go to for help, continued: “The current line-up is committed to Professionalism. It’s like comparing a juggernaut to a penny farthing, both vehicles can make the same journey but the look, feel, sound and power is completely different.”

*Album of the month? ‘The Bully Breed’ by Murderers Row (Durty Mick Records). This blinding Oi band from Troy, NY, are still a menace to sobriety steaming straight in with their mission statement: "We like to drink and we like to fight/But most of all we drink all night." (Wot? No shagging?) Another anthem declares: “We’re the piss-poor working class working every day/Staring at the time clock/Wishing the time away/Can’t wait for the weekend/We’ll get drunk in every way/We’re the piss poor working class working every day/Pissing our life away.” Right now they’re flogging the album and a t-shirt for $12. (But it’s a tenner on with a February release date.) Cheers!

Jan 15. Our official album launch party will be at the 12 Bar on Saturday February 26th, followed by a gig with the legendary Viva Las Vegas. Details to follow. Those lucky folk invited to the party will enjoy free Gonads wine, a chance to rub shoulders with oi-oi royalty and very special guests as well as the full album playback. Note for collectors: the first 100 copies of the album will be pressed on green vinyl to emphasise our strong political affiliation with all things green, e.g. the Hulk, cannabis, Kermit the frog, green chartreuse, green enchiladas, Green Lantern, Green Hornet, the Green Manalishi, emeralds, the Yeti’s under-crackers... (continued the Green Man, Hodsoll Street)

Record news: Poly Styrene is releasing a new solo album at the end of March. Called Generation Indigo, it’s been produced by Youth. The Dropkick Murphys release their new studio album on 1st March. The thirteen song platter, called Going Out In Style, is their seventh to date. Slackers! And Work In Progress, the brand new studio album from the U.K. Subs is out now on Captain Oi, featuring 12 new Subs songs plus a number co-written with Lars Fredericksen and a cover of ‘Strychnine’ by The Sonics. Track by track overview here.

Kiria called last night from her sickbed to assure us that her gig at the 100 Club tonight is ON. Odd that both she and Sharron Slutt have been laid low with ‘swine flu’ this week. The dirty-minded might draw the wrong conclusion, picturing those two brazen hussies half-naked and exchanging saliva in a sleazy hotel room. We prefer simply to picture Kiria with a gob full of Night Nurse. Apparently the symptoms of swine flu are sweating, excessive body odour and extreme laziness. Fat Col had it all Christmas and no-one noticed.

The wonderful Jennie Bellestar releases her new One Stop Experience album ‘Peeping Tom’ on April 8th, with a launch party gig at the Gaff, followed a week later with an Oxford show with nutty boy Lee Thompson’s Ska Orchestra. Jen tells us the album is all recorded and mixed, and is just waiting to be mastered...

Some serious news from the Jolly Pranksters. After a suspected incident of police infiltration, the Pranksters are going underground while an internal inquiry is conducted. No news of the brethren’s nefarious activities will be published here until the WM lifts reporting restrictions. So mote it be.

Jan 14. As well as coming out as an all-action CD, our Greater Hits album will also be available on vinyl comprising of a thirteen track album and a three track 7” ep. The track-listing will be: Side A 1) Punk Rock Till I Die 2) Alconaut 3) Tucker's Ruckers Ain't No Suckers 4) Gob 5) Oi Mate 6) Jobs Not Jails 7) SE7 Dole Day. Side B. 1) Lager Louts 2) Franken-Skin 3) Grant Mitchell 4) Hitler Was An 'Omo 5) Tattooed Love Girl 6) Hey You. The ep will feature I Lost My Love To A UK Sub, Big Balls and British Steel

Fit Bird tells us that Gal will start recording his solo album in earnest in May/June this year. It will she says be “an album of all the talents”, featuring musicians from Ska, punk, rock and Mod bands, a brass section, and a selection of “big name guest vocalists.” How big? Scoff not, unbelievers, for as well as such luminaries as Jenny Bellestar, the WM and other heroes of this blog, one name firmly in the frame is...Engelbert! Another is Chas Hodges! And hold up, who’s that we hear in the distance, merrily a-chomping on a hamster...?

*Campaigners in Stoke-on-Trent have handed in a petition to have statues of Lemmy and Slash erected in the city. Slash was born in Hampstead but lived in Stoke until he was six; the Lemster was born and raised in nearby Burslem. We haven’t forgotten our own plan to campaign for an Ian Dury statue in Upminster (or Harrow) but Benny Hill’s erection must come first. Or so his angels tell us.

Adam Ant is charging £75 a ticket for his gig at Madame JoJo’s on Monday. 75 fecking sovs! His 100 Club tickets are £50 a pop. Adam Ant: doing it for the kids, mannn.

Album News: Green Day have revealed the track-listing for their live album, Awesome As Fuck (released in March). The tracks are: 21st Century Breakdown (recorded in London), Know Your Enemy (Manchester), East Jesus Nowhere (Glasgow), Holiday (Dublin), Gloria (Dallas, Texas), Cigarettes & Valentines (Phoenix, Arizona), Burnout (Irvine, California), Pasalaqua (Chula Vista, CA), J.A.R. (Detroit, Michigan), Holden Caulfield (New York), Geek Stink Breath (Saitama-shi, Japan), When I Come Around (Berlin), She (Brisbane, Australia), 21 Guns (Mountain View, CA), American Idiot (Montreal, Canada), Wake Me Up (Nickelsdorf, Austria), Good Riddance (Nickelsdorf, Austria).

Elsewhere Civet release new album Love & War on Hellkat next month. And Superyob are back in the studio shortly recording their fifth album. Titles are believed not to include ‘Drinks On Me’, ‘Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow’ and ‘David Icke’s Barmy Army’.

Jan 13. Bonjour! In the unlikely event that you’re in Paris tonight, try to catch the Salvation City Rockers (Alteau’s rather fine rocksteady and punk combo). Also on the bill at Les Combustibles, 14 Rue Abel, are the Street Kids and Street Poison. Nearest metro: Gare de Lyon. Meanwhile back in London, if you were planning to see the Street Dogs at Underworld on Saturday and are now at a loose end, then GBH are playing BH2 with Left For Dead, Segismundo Toxicomano and Blatoidea. Doors: 5.30pm. (For an even looser end see Fat Col ‘I shouldn’t have had the vindaloo’ Gannon.)

Angel Sinclair

Jan 12. Our London gig with the Heavy Metal Kids is confirmed for Thursday 3rd March at the 100 Club. One stage: two legends! Plus LAMF and compere Max Splodge. In other news, the Teutonic temptress Diana Schuler assures us that Gonads ‘Greater Hits Vol 1: Plums’ will definitely be available by the end of February. We’re like butter, baby, we’re on a roll. Why, tour dates may even follow shortly. We are also in talks with the delightful Angel Sinclair, pictured left, about playing a benefit for her Models Of Diversity organisation later this year. The MoD campaigns ceaselessly to over-throw the fashion industry’s obsession with anorexic models and to open up opportunities for women of more ample proportions. It’s a crucial fight against cruel injustice and prejudice, and one that we’re proud to support. Especially, adds Fat Col, if we get to share a dressing room with some top-heavy totty. Oaf.

Record news: You can listen to the entire new Social Distortion album here, while Swedish oi-sters Antipati release their second platter ‘Frågor Som Rör Det Allmänna’ shortly. There’s a title that rolls off the tongue like a greased herring. It’s a limited edition (500 copies) and well worth hearing.

Jan 11. Some of you thought we were making it up, that the project was a wind-up or just another product of Gal’s warped and feverish imagination, but here, finally, is the proof (sort of) that the 30th anniversary Oi! album is actually coming. This is the front cover of Oi! No Surrender – an Oi sampler featuring thirty years of the world’s very greatest Oi bands. Although we are not yet in a position to tell you who made Contra’s cut, or when the long-anticipated platter will actually see the light of day....all we will say is good things come to those who wait... and, oi, we’d better be on it, Gal! (Great cover art from Alteau Salvation by the way...)

Random snippets: André Schlesinger is starting production on two new songs, ‘Fighting In The Streets’ b/w ‘The NYC’... Green Day bassist Mike Dirnt is back in the studio with his side project The Frustrators – he describes the band as “uneasy listening”... The Rumblers are releasing a 3-song 7 inch ep on Creep Records next month...

Jan 10. The line-up for the London International Ska Festival looks awesome, featuring everyone from The English Beat to the legendary Bob & Marcia; along with Ken Boothe (“UK pop reggae!”), Dave & Ansell Collins, the Loafers, the Hotknives, James Hunter, The Ska Flames (from Japan), The Trojans, the Dub Pistols, Bim Skala Bim, Maroon Town, Napoleon Solo, Intensified, The Caroloreglans, Cartoon Violence, Jimmy the Squirrel and more; DJs and all. Venue: the Clapham Grand Theatre in SW London, from 21st – 24th April. Email here.

Gal has been asked to run for London Mayor in 2012, but seems unusually reluctant. His reasoning here.

John Lydon is hinting that the Sex Pistols could be about to write new material – as well as tour again. John told Stereogum: “Because I've been able to get P.I.L. back together, and because I've really been in a song-writing mode, I can now look back on the Pistols and imagine writing with them, too. I wouldn't have been able to think about that if I hadn't gotten the P.I.L. thing going again. For me, there wouldn't be a P.I.L. if it weren't for them lads in the Pistols, so I feel responsive to their needs. If they want me to go out on tour with them I'm happy to oblige… until three weeks later when I'm not.” (Laughs) “That's how it is. You forget the wars and the personal hates over time, until something happens… like a tour… and you remember all over again. You know, I don't make friends easy, but once I do befriend someone my feelings are usually set in stone. You have to be a really bad bastard to make me change my views on you. And even bad bastards like me can be forgiven at times."

We’re hearing reports of it kicking off outside a Youth Brigade gig in California last week. Violence erupted outside the Key Club in West Hollywood on Thursday, culminating in punks and other gig-goers chucking bottles and rocks at the cops, and the police firing rubber bullets and mace at the crowd. The resulting riot/chaos went on for two hours with at least one guy hospitalised. The trouble started as a fight between bouncers and punters and escalated fast. The cops shut down Sunset Boulevard between San Vicente Boulevard and Doheny Drive, and are accused of getting stuck in to the 450 strong crowd for not dispersing quickly enough. The gig featured Youth Brigade, Ill Repute and TSOL but was called off before Youth Brigade could play. An eye witness says: “It wasn’t a riot until the cops turned up.” The police version of events differs. An LAPD sergeant told the LA Weekly: “Bouncers at the club got into it with fans outside the club, and responding deputies were met with rocks and bottles. Deputies responded and some patrons started forming a crowd. More deputies responded and they started taking bottles and rocks.” Punk Rock! Woo-hoo!

Jan 9. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. The Puke Box Jury edition of Rancid Sounds is finally up and running at Total Rock Radio, but to call it a shambles would be way too mild. It is a shocking display; it’s bedlam, chaos, a hash, a mishmash, a slippery slope to nihilism, the tower of Babel without the tower. Bev Elliott was on particularly outspoken form attacking anyone who dared to be “poppy” i.e. write songs with tunes. At one stage she tore into Redtrack for sounding “too American”. Told they were from Southend, Bev declared: “Essex? Then take your influences from Dr Feelgood not America.” Yeah, that Dr Feelgood – the well-known rhythm & blues band. R&B of course originating in King Arthur’s court... A mellower Max Splodge contented himself with his strange Dale Winton fixation and treated us to a mid-show game of punk bingo. Many great songs were in contention – including beauts from Crashed Out, Dreadzone, Vicious Rumours and Who Shot Who. Skip the next couple of sentences if you don’t want to see the results, but the five finalists were the Heavy Metal Kids, The Snipes, Babyhead, The Blades, and Tommy Schitt. Who won? Well according to Bev it was “Dale Winton and his Punishment Fuckers.” Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Hear it here if you dare. The show also features new tracks from Insane Society, Noise Agents and Dave Parsons’s solo album.

In more positive news, Gal and FB convened yesterday and we’re confident of being able to announce our UK tour dates later this month (although it would help if Randale could give us an actual release date for the album!).

Our NYC brother band Maninblack are STILL looking for a new drummer & bass player. André has been through more members than a Kings Cross prossie. The Fall’s line-up is more stable.

Pop punk band The Haverchucks from Virginia have stuck up a free download of their new five-track demo on Death To False Hope’s website. Cop a load of it here.

Jan 8. Okay, Gal, Bev and Max Splodge did manage to record the pod-cast yesterday but only after a three hour lock-in at Total Rock with nothing but Stella Artois, Sailor Jerry’s navy rum and the occasional kindness from DJ Sophie K to keep them going. The state of the finished recording is believed to be causing some concern at the radio station where Bev’s Sopranos-style language was thought to be a little full-blooded even for a Rancid Sounds punk show. When/if it’s ever up and running we’ll let you know, because it’s a battle royale with the likes of Deadline, Crashed Out, the Blades, Dreadzone, Long Tall Shorty, Tommy Schitt, the Badoes and the HM Kids vying for Bev’s Number One slot... (ooh matron!)

The Grit are busy writing a new album. Our woman on the inside tells us that it’s more Ska than before, but also more rockabilly (make yer bleedin’ minds up)

The new Broken Bones album ‘Fuck You And All You Stand For!’ is fiercer than an enraged Wolverine on a revenge mission. If you like Discharge and The English Dogs (“bleedin’ racket” – Fat Col) this offering will lift your heart and fry your brains.

Jan 7. Oddly, we’re still getting asked by German fanzines about our reckless drive through the ice and snow from London to Berlin to Weimar and back a year ago (as mentioned here yesterday). Gal has decided to immortalise the trip in song for our next studio album and has written the words to ‘Onwards To Weimar’, which start: ‘Snow-blind on the autobahn/Tone slams his foot flat down/An Arctic blizzard is raging, but there's a Gonads gig in town/We drive on summer tyres/Flick the finger at the cops/80-90-we hit the ton/ we're the band that never stops... Onwards, onwards to Weimar/Keep going till the end/You know we're never slowing down/Onwards, onwards to Weimar/Hold on tight 'til the end/God knows if I'm ever coming home’. And of course Wattsie gets a mention in verse two...

Tom Gabel from Against Me on why the Florida band quit Sire. Tom also talks about new band member Jay Weinberg, the son of E Street Band legend Max Weinberg, of Conan O’Brien fame.

The great Eddie Piller has re-released two much sought-after music books through his Acid Jazz company: ‘The Small Faces - The Young Mods' Forgotten Story’ by Paolo Hewitt and ‘Rock On Wood - The Origin Of A Rock & Roll Face’ by Terry Rawlings.

Gal should be recording the legendary ‘Puke Box Jury’ edition of his pod-cast today, but as his panellists are Max Splodge and Bev Elliott things may not quite go to plan...

Jan 6. Due to popular demand, a brand new version of ‘Stop That Drumming’ will feature on the ‘Gonads Greater Hits Vol 2: The Mutt’s Nuts’, but don’t get too excited, Vol 1 ain’t out yet. By the way, has anyone seen a shady character known as FB recently? The Nads tour manager was last seen heading off with our global tour plans in one hand and a fistful of sausage sarnies in the other...(we don’t care about the tour dates, but the sausages were Cumberland...besides the beefy bounder also has all the contacts for the great Gonads curry launch and we’ve got hungry groupies to feed, goddammit)

*Social Distortion have slipped out another nifty new song. They’ve just posted ‘California (Hustle & Flow)’ on the LA Times website. Their new album is out later this month. And the Cockney Rejects are close to finishing their new oeuvre (oivre?) too. Work was postponed while Mick was laid low with swine flu over New Year (That pig took a risk – Ed) but most of the songs are now recorded. Word is the album is much harder and punkier than ‘Unforgiven’, with back-to-boots style vocals and not a David Essex cover in sight.

Horrorpops singer Patricia Day is suing toymaker Mattel, claiming that they based their ‘Hard Rock Barbie’ on her image. In a related story, the Beast is consulting me learned friends about the Mike Myers character Dr Evil. (Fat Col’s Barbie joke: A mum asks her daughter what she wants for her birthday. The girl replies, "I want a Barbie and an Action Man." "Action Man?" says the mum. "I thought Barbie came with Ken." The daughter replies, "No, she comes with Action Man. She fakes it with Ken.")

Blink 182 are working on a new album as well – their first since 2003. Some US readers moan when we mention Blink saying they’re “not true punk man”, but hey ho, they’re more listenable than most of the cack in UK charts. Besides who is “true punk” these days? John Lydon and his Country Life ads? Bruce Foxton throwing bands off bills? Pah. There’s only us, Lars and Beki Bondage left.

Section Five need a guitarist asap for gigs. Tosh says they must be “reliable and trustworthy”, which narrows the field, and “experience is a must”; but you will get an equal cut of earnings.

The Street Dogs have called off their UK and European tour, which was due to start this month. They’ll reschedule the dates for May. Here’s why: ‘Dear European fans and friends, we are extremely disappointed to report we have to postpone our upcoming European tour dates. The chaos of the inclement weather this winter has made purchasing and changing flights nearly impossible both financially and in keeping with our routing. Our European agent has suggested that we postpone the tour until May so we can do festivals as well as our tour when this nasty winter is through and that’s exactly what we will do! We are and have always been a working class band and we have never had to do this. We are hopeful you all understand, we have no other choice. We are still getting details, but we are being told refunds will be given at point of purchase. Again, we are terribly sorry and we will see you all in May. Street Dogs’ See, that’s not punk is it? A bit of snow and they bottle it. This time last year we drove through blizzards to play Berlin and Weimar in the Bundesland with summer tyres. That’s ’kin’ punk.

Jan 5. Our North Caroline pals Patriot are hard at work on their new album, The Spirit Of Rebellion. Singer Eddie Bastard tells us that the oi-some platter is due out by Spring on Randale Records (currently responsible for more signings than a deaf school). Check out tattooist Ed’s other band, Incendiary Stiff, who have more of a Rose Tattoo feel.

Rhoda Dakar, one of the few 2-Tone stars to cite Albert Camus as an influence, would like us to remind you that her last album Back To The Garage is still available on N1 Records. It’s closer in feel to the Stooges than Symarip.

Jan 4. Our mates Control are back in the studio later this month, finishing off their new album called ‘Punk Rock Ruined My Life...(But I Wouldn’t Change A Thing)’. It’s the boys’ follow-up to their 2009 debut album ‘Hooligan Rock ‘n’ Roll’ which was last year’s surprise oi-oi big-seller. Word is, the new album’s even better...

Ray Mayhew, ex of Sigue Sigue Sputnik, tells us his new band Mayhem Deranged have finally released their debut single, 2008’s ‘Here I Go Again’ on iTunes etc.

STOP PRESS: Section Five are confirmed for Rebellion this year.

Jan 3. Here it is, the very first taste of the new Gonads album, ‘Greater Hits Vol One: Plums’ – featuring sixteen of the very best Nads’ anthems. No bull, it’s the best thing we’ve ever done – and it’s out in the not too distant future...

*Give 'em the Boot! If you’re in London town this month, don’t miss ‘London Calling: The Clash’ – veteran photographer Adrian Boot’s punk rock exhibition. It’s on at Proud Camden, it’s FREE, and it’s full of pix from the early days when the Clash used to rehearse, write, and sometimes kip at the Gin House in Stables Market. (The exhibition is in the same block of buildings) Some of the snaps are previously unseen.

Gig Noos: Gal’s Funny Old Bastards blue collar comedy show launches on February 9th at the new Windmill Hall, Upminster, Essex.

The Gonads - PLUMS

The show stars Cockney comics Mick Pugh, Dave Cook and Willie Thompson. Tickets £15. Watch this space for details.

In other news, King Hammond’s alter ego Nick Welsh is performing at the 12 BAR, Denmark Place, London on 29th Jan in a show called ‘The Life and Times Of A Ska-Man’ celebrating the big lug’s 30 year career in music. And Control play the Attic Bristol on 25th Feb with Ramonas, Graveyard Johnnys and the Hookers.

Our German mate Matthias has compiled his pick of continental Oi albums released last year. These include ‘Doppelganger’ by Biertras. ‘Helsinki’ by The Wrongdoers. ‘Auf Uns’ by Krawallbrudder. 'Spettatori Della Distruzione' by Gavroche. ‘Berlin Habits’ by the Tower Blocks. And the catchy-sounding ‘Anarchist Always Against Russophobia’ by Street Politics. Guys, if you want these albums heard around the world send 'em to Gal’s Rancid Sounds show c/o Total Rock Radio in London’s Denmark Street. For full address, use Google, you lazy bastards.

1.1.11. The morning after the fright before... if you feel like we do, you’d best forget the hair of the dog and get stuck right in to its leg and haunches. If you wanna punk up your day, here’s Gal’s top singles of 2010: ‘I Was A Teenage Anarchist’ – Against Me, ‘I’m A Ghost’ – The Hex Dispensers, ‘Sex With An X’ – The Vaselines, ‘Caroline’s Radio’ – Bubblegum Lemonade. And here’s our guide to the best punk-ska-oi albums of 2010. Top album? ‘Bring The House Down’ – Deadline. Top Ska album: ‘The King & I’ – King Hammond. For pure Oi check out Evil Conduct’s ‘Rule OK’. Also worth a listen: ‘‘Bottle Of Rock & Roll’ by the Corps (where Oi arm-wrestles hard rock). For poppier stuff you can’t go wrong with ‘Whole Town’s Heart’ by Redtrack and ‘White Crosses’ by Against Me.