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Dec 31. Happy New Oi to all our readers! Like Shane Warne, we’re getting in Hurley. Sorry for not reminding you to watch Buzzcocks last night. It was a double bubble – Sticks from the Upstarts and Pauline Black from the Selecter. Catch the repeat if you can be arsed. Meanwhile, we note that the Bouncing Souls have postponed their ‘Home For The Holidays’ shows due to the US ‘snowpocalypse’. We haven’t had to do that because we took the simple precaution of not booking any Winter gigs. Watch this space for Nads tour dates starting in March... Micky Fitz joined Gal and Dan (Son Of Oi) for a beer on Christmas Eve. Unfortunately neither of the drunken bums can remember a thing he told them. In unrelated news, we’re expecting to have some big Steve Whale-related info to impart shortly. Dec 29. Ring out the old! Ring in the new with the latest single, ‘RSVP’, from the Objex. Talk about meaty, beaty, big and bouncy (and that’s just bisexual singer Felony Melony.) The band are viewed as a “disgrace to Vegas” by po-faced punk purists, but we rather like ’em. Avid fan Bobby Gonad tells us that their new album is out in Feb. Here’s hoping Melony’s mammaries are out sooner (says a passing Fat Col with a hearty fuck-witted chuckle.) *Word filters through about Col’s Rock Against Xmas disco, held at a working man’s club in Charlton on Christmas Eve. The Scrooge of SE7 bombarded punters with such festive ditties as Fear’s 1982 single ‘Fuck Xmas’ and Crucial Youth’s ‘Crucial Yule’ before surrendering to public opinion and moving on to more up-lifting gems like ‘Oi To The World’ by the Vandals, ‘Jingle Bells’ by Judge Dread and of course ‘The Greatest Cockney Christmas’ by us. His Aris a-twitching, the fat fool then gave in to more traditional crowd-pleasers from the Pogues, Slade, Wizzard (the band, not the WM), Elton and Mud. (Wot? No SSD’s ‘Jolly Old Saint Nicholas’?) Dec 27: Welcome back, culture lovers. Here’s a bucket of steaming hot news to brighten your daze. First up, inspired no doubt by Xmas spirit, Gal has penned an absolute sledge-load of brand new quality songs for his long-awaited solo album. These little crackers come with intriguing titles such as ‘Corruptus Interruptus’, ‘Ma Kelly’s Greasy Buns’, 'Rhapsody In Waitrose', 'Goon On The Moon', ‘You, Me, ’Im’, ‘Revolt Of The Chain Store Santas’, ‘Don’t Fear The Roofer’, ‘Moon Ska Maureen’, ‘Ska-Mungus’ and ‘Flight Of The Umlaut’. Not even Fit Bird has heard them yet, although a passing Terence Hayes, WM, remarks that the numbers will “delight and amaze fans of the Gonads and Madness alike.” But he cautions that they may also “blow a few minds” as the songs range “from Orange Street to Waterloo Sunset, with a passing nod at ‘Birdland’.” We’re not sure what that means but we’re happy to pass it on. *The mighty Agnostic Front have been busy too, recording their latest album down in St. Petersburg, FLA, with Madball’s Freddy Cricien producing. It’s out in March – as is Green Day’s new live album Awesome as Fuck. . Dec 19. We’re shutting down for the holidays. Have a great Christmas. We’ll break on through on the other side. Dec 18. Yesterday involved a merry pogo down memory lane as the leading writers from the halcyon days of Sounds reassembled at Covent Garden’s fabled White Lion. There were Gal, Alan Lewis, Eric Fuller (!), Deaf Barton, Jon Newey, Pete Silverton, Margaret from advertising, and someone else we pretended to recognise. Much of the conversation now seems hazy, no doubt due to the inclement weather (“like walking through a snow globe”, says Gal) and nothing to do with the 18 pints of Doom Bar. However there was some discussion of the fondly remembered faces who once supped with us there, the late great Phil Lynott and John Peel, the not late but still great Alan Moore, the only half-dead Pete Way, and those who turned out to be less praiseworthy such as Mad Chrissie Hynde and Gross Halfwit, who has since turned into Gollum. There was also talk of the great Sounds strike, when we were joined on the picket line by Hoxton Tom, and of the unexpected return to fashion of Bartonian bands such as Journey (pass sick bucket now). Apologies for absence were received from Mick Wall, Edwin Pouncey (yeah! Savage Pencil!), Betty Page (scared of the snow), Bev Elliott (in Hamburg) and Tony Mitchell (no doubt “tied up” in some Soho fetish club). But of Hugh Fielder, Dave Lewis, Robbi Millar, and Dave Angry there was no word (Deaf recalled a fight between Div Mac and Gal at a Sounds editorial conference; Gal has no memory of it, which isn’t to say that it never happened... ) Nowadays Big Al runs Record Collector but will retire next year, Eric has had a year off after leaving his job as publisher of Nuts in strained circumstances, Deaf is still at Classic Rock, Pete has written a book called Filthy English, Jon runs a jazz mag (no, you fools, a proper jazz mag), Margaret said something about paper mills between great steaming jugs of mulled wine, and Gal of course fronts the greatest goddamn oi-punk-rock-comedy-ska band in the history of the known universe. This happy few, this band of brothers, decided to do it all again next year but in a bigger pub, with more people, and maybe Stephanie from the switchboard. Last men drinking? Gal, Jon and Margaret – we’ve still got it. (And if scientists could work out what ‘it’ is, they’d lock it up in a lab). *Out now! Maximumrocknroll issue 332, which is a punk comics issue, full of comic strips and interviews by and with the likes of Gary Panter, Jaime Hernandez, Mimi Pond and Ed Luce. Record noos: It’s re-issue time! Pirates Press have re-released a shed-load of old re-mastered Cock Sparrer albums on coloured vinyl, including Guilty As Charged, Shock Troops, Running Riot '84/Live & Loud, True Grit Out-takes (i.e. Rarities) and Two Monkeys. Limited editions all. Also re-released Why and Hear Nothing, See Nothing, Say Nothing by Discharge (Havoc Records). * After Debbie Harry’s recent Ted Bundy revelations, our attention is drawn to a piece in the Guardian (spit) where Henry Rollins tells how he once helped Charles Manson record an album of “acoustic pop songs”. It happened when Henry was living at the SST Records headquarters in the 80s and the label was contacted by one of the killer’s lawyers. SST planned to release the Rollins-produced songs, but the big pussies were scared off by a string of death-threats. The label destroyed all but five of the records, two of which are still in Henry's possession. Tsk. If only Gal had recorded Ronnie Kray when he sang ‘I Should Be So Lucky’ to him in Broadmoor... Dec 17. Such is the national influence of this prestigious power-blog that our report about Mr. Foxton’s beer shampoo yesterday attracted enquiries from the Independent, The Sun and The Star, although sadly there’s been no word as yet from Liberation or the Washington Post. Anywho, a former FTJ fam who bills herself as a ‘Buckler loyalist’ tells us that this wasn’t the first gig they've played where beer has been thrown and adds that “a lot of Jam fans don't like them because they’re performing Jam songs without Weller... they’re a glorified tribute band.” We were also contacted by some hardcore Gooners whose verdict was “Brilliant – revenge is a dish best served soaking wet.” The message for our old pal Bruce is clear: never mess with a Gonadette! *Terence Hayes, WM, recorded his TV debut on Wednesday, with Sparrer’s Steve Bruce in the audience for moral support. The show, which must remain cloaked in mystery for now, should be on prime time telly in February, but Tel assures us that it was hilarious and that his street-punk credentials remain intact. RIP Jesse ‘Jess the Mess’ Rich of Orange County punk band Broken Bottles who OD’d on Wednesday. *We’re still baffled by the German fraulein who wanted Gal to service her with the ‘Infected’ strap-on. Where would the pleasure be for him? Mr Gonad was once approached by a man who said his wife wanted to sleep with him but the husband wanted to watch. Gal was horrified – he didn’t even send a picture. Dec 16. Extraordinary scenes at From The Jam’s gig in Islington last night, which ended in Bruce Foxton drenched in beer and storming off stage. The problems began after Wattsie texted Bruce and the lads just to tell them she was going to be on stage with local support band Riders Of The Night. Within an hour the Riders were told they were off the bill because they were “hooligans”. When pressed FTJ’s manager said he would “let them know later.” But the band had already sold 100 tickets and weren’t going to take it laying down. They turned up for the sound-check and the promoter refused to speak to them. His mistake however was not to take away their guest passes. So the Riders and their entourage got into the gig and about thirty of them took up a position on the 02’s balcony. Between From The Jam’s numbers, the lads started singing their own songs and were joined by supporters below. Bruce was understandably rattled and had a go at them over the mic, only to be rewarded by a full pint of lager thrown from the Riders throng. “It went straight over him,” says our mole. “Foxton was soaked from top to bottom.” He then walked off stage and straight into a car and back to his hotel, leaving the rest of the band on stage “grinning inanely”. Our source goes on: “Poor Russell Hastings was just standing there with a fixed smile and a worried look in his eyes. Eventually the roadies told them Bruce had left the building and they came off too. They’d only done four or five numbers. The promoter had no choice but to offer the punters their ticket money back.” The audience, including such luminaries as Eddie Piller, the Purple Hearts’ Gary Sparks, and Bollock Brother Jock MacDonald could only look on in horror, and in Jock’s case, amusement. “That’s entertainment,” he said. So why did Bruce want the Riders off the bill? We can’t be sure, but there has been some friction between him and Wattsie who used to selflessly run From The Jam’s websites for them. Could he have pulled the chaps simply to have a go at her? Would he really be that petty? Band insiders suggest he could and would. But the message is clear: don’t mess with Arsenal herberts, especially not on their home patch. Thought you were smart when you took them on, but you didn’t have a look in their artillery room... New Jam song suggestions: ‘Beer Surrender’, ‘When You’re Youngs’, ‘David Wett’, ‘Carlsberg Export Rifles’, ‘In The Shower’, ‘The Bitterest Pilsner’, ‘Town Called Miller’, ‘An Amstel in Wardour Street’, ‘Absolute Beerginners’, ‘Soaking On The Spot’, ‘John Smithers-Jones’, ‘Little Bud Soldiers’, ‘But I'm Drenched Now’, ‘So Sad About Bass’, ‘All Mod Coronas’, ‘Peroni Hell’, Newton and Ridleys of the World, David Watneys, Pretty Greenall Whitley, (cont the Emirates). * I want all you skinheads! The mighty SYMARIP play the Gaff in North London this Saturday (18th). The original ‘Skinhead Moonstomp’ Ska star Roy Ellis returns with his handpicked live band including Drew Stansall and Mark Wyeth. Plus top original Boss Reggae and Ska sounds on original vinyl from The Attic Twins, Reggaemattic and Hot Bomb Hi-fi (Enthucol and Sir Marcus Downbeat). Your compere for the evening is the man himself Geno Blue. Skinheads Dem A Come! I-re: www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5ImEGJe7Ek *Is there no end to the Sharron Slutt saga? Now Wattsie tells us that “Shazza is so hot, I may go lesbian” (eh?), adding more logically “I hate it when blokes have got better legs than me.” *Random titbits: Roger Miret & The Disasters’ new album Gotta Get Up Now is out on 25th Jan...Blink 182 are four songs in to writing their next album... the word from the Cockney Rejects’ recording studio is that their new CD has got “quite a theme going on...” *More Stockbroker Belt songs as they are written: ‘I'm Forever Blowing Roubles’, ‘City Vacant’, ‘Where Have all the Tax Breaks Gone?’ and ‘Stocks & Shares & Rock ‘n’ Roll’... Dec 15. Arsenal nutters Riders of the Night play the 02 Academy, Islington tonight with Department S and headliners From The Jam. Ravishing Wattsie Watts will be joining them on stage for the sensitive ditty ‘Kerb Crawler’. Wattsie tells us that she asked Kiria if she could borrow one of her rubber outfits for the show and “The witch told me she didn't have anything 'cheap' enough for me to wear... she'll be sorry tomorrow when she finds her crotch-less knickers stapled up!” (Memo to Fat Col: keep that Yeti/crotch-less panties/broomstick gag to yerself...) Random noos: the Briggs have posted their version of ‘Silent Night’ on their myspace page. The New York Dolls will release a new eleven-track studio album called Dancing Backwards in High Heels on 15th March – their third post-reunion effort. And Flogging Molly are back in the studio recording their follow-up album to 2008’s Float... *Publicity-crazed Sharron Slutt emails to ask: ‘Have you heard of a T. Hayes Esq? I keep receiving gifts and notes d'amour from said person inviting me to escort him to what sounds a delightful evening at a supper club called The Garage. I think he must be really posh and intelligent because he has the initials, WM, after his nom. Apparently, he is 6 foot 3, extremely good looking and with biceps that Arnold Schwarzenegger would die for.’ But a spokesman for the Badoes denies the charges completely and adds sternly: “We stand for punk as boot-boy music, it has nothing to do with Slutt’s degenerate behaviour. Looking at ‘her’ reminds us that there is a panto missing an ugly sister.” Ouch! Dec 14. A few of you impatient souls have asked what nifty Nads tracks will feature on Greater Hits Volume II. That album probably won’t be released until 2012; and there may be a new studio album between volumes one and two, but here for your information and edification is the planned Vol II track-listing: The Joys Of Oi, Rob A Bank, Sandra Bigg (Really Big), Harry May’s Revenge, It’s A Yeti, England’s Glory, Lights Out In Charlton, Lager Top Blues, Oily Rag, The Growler, Unky Bunk, Filthy Rich, Dying For A Pint, Surrealist Blues, Antigallican Last Bell, Fire Down Under, Eels, Charlton Warrior and as a special bonus treat, the original recording of Stroke My Beachcomber Baby. Which of course still leaves a shed-load of killer gems for Vol III... *An unusual message arrives from a besotted German lady requesting that Gal gives her ein “bloody good seeing to” while wearing the infamous ‘Infected’ strap-on. Mein Gott! Garry has of course declined, but the selfless Fat Col was last seen on a coach to Hamburg to offer his condolences... *Make out it’s 1981 all over again! Back Captain Ska for Xmas Number One! *An email materialises from poor abused Sharron Slutt saying:
‘After several years in the music business and after having endured
many years of sexist behaviour from other artists, promoters,
managers and even lighting engineers, I have started a new organisation,
Artists Rejecting Sexism Eternally, or ‘ARSE’ for short. Just
because a girl wants to show a leg and simulate sex on stage with
another goddess, it doesn't give people the right to shout out
hurtful things like, “GET YER TITS OUT” or “SHOW US YOUR COCK
YOU SEXY BITCH”. Enough is enough!! At 35 (ahem) years of age,
I don't expect this sort of behaviour. Kiria and myself are not
prepared to tone down our act, we just want people to stop their
sexist outpourings. Thank you, Shazza xxxx’. Wethinks she doth
protest too much... |
Dec 13. Full shocking details of Kiria's fetish club bash have reached us. A shaken Tony Feedback tells us "The gig was great, except that Kiria kept trying to shag Sharron Slutt" - his transvestite character - "and she squirted whipped cream up poor Shazza's arse, which ended up all over the stage" (the cream, not the arse). He goes on: "I don't know if you've ever tried playing the guitar in thigh boots on a stage covered in cream" (every weekend, Tone) "but it ain't easy I can assure you." Tony claims he had to wear a tight PVC and rubber outfit "just to get through the gig with my bad back." Quite how Trace, his long-suffering missus, took to watching her husband cavorting around the stage done up a Soho brass while licking whipped cream off Kiria's ample breasts is anyone's guess. But we're sure that the agony and the embarrassment was fully compensated by sharing a dressing room with all the fetish models... For her part, Kiria has issued her apologies to Sharron Slutt "for the creamy mess she was forced to endure in six inchers," adding coquettishly "Now you know what it feels like." Yes, quite. Anyway, everyone seemed to get into this degenerate behaviour - even Wattsie turned up wearing a charming condom-coloured maid's outfit - which is good news for Kiria's spin-off band project called the Wednesday Wank. And yes, Gal has already asked if it might lead to a Friday F...ergeddaboutit. |
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*They started as a joke, a throw-away comment, but Stockbroker Belt the band may actually happen! Our man on the inside tells us that they already have "a solid portfolio" of great songs ready to demo, including 'I'm So Bored With The FSA', 'Cash City Rockers', 'Bank Generation' and 'Hey Little Rich Boy, Jolly Nice To Meet You'. They're all as posh as Joe Strummer, too... * That strange hand gesture that Charlie Harper's making in the picture below... that's not a death metal sign, it's arthritis. Talking of old'uns, Phil Mogg is said to have been on sparkling form for UFO's recent UK mini-tour sparking calls for us to re-record 'Lights Out In Charlton' for Greater Hits volume II. 12.12. There was an awesome playback of our new album, Greater Hits Volume One, at a party for rock'n'roll pensioners last night. Young Ian Kilmister, 64, is believed to have pronounced it "Fuckin' loud"; while retired hairdresser David Perez, 65 (also pictured) mumbled "Now that's what I call punk" before running off with one of our girlfriends. The album, subtitled 'Plums', will be released in February. UK tour dates will follow.
*News of last night's big fetish club gig may follow shortly, censors permitting. Meanwhile Fat Col tells us he has a "carpentry fetish... I like to sit at home at night touching me shelf." Everyone a gem... *Long Tall Shorty play a "Concert for Cancer" tonight at The Roadmender, Northampton. We're against cancer ourselves but it takes all sorts to make a world. *Those who like this sort of thing should check out Roger Miret's new rebel clothing range. Dec 11. If you’re in London, don’t miss Kiria’s Christmas Show, tonight at the Festival of Sins at the Den & Centro, West Central Street, London WC1. It’s going to be wild. Kiria and her K cup held court in front of a select group of admirers and eavesdroppers in the 12 Bar yesterday, all of whom nodded sympathetically while she told how two boyfriends had dumped her for being “a nympho.” Well, remarked Gal, it’s nice to see you sitting up for a while. Dec 10. Gal recorded his latest podcast today, with special guest Kiria (aka the punk rock sex goddess) and her minder, Alison from Bubblegum Slut. The show includes great tracks from Resistance 77, Jilambis, Vice Squad, Runnin’ Riot, Tommy Schitt, Redtrack, Crashed Out, Engrained, Cock Sparrer, the Gonads, the Hot Knives, the Levellers, Spyn Reset and more. It should be up shortly, which is more than can be said for Gal, who has been laid low, not by Kiria but by the curse of Barnet Mark’s 12 Bar Toffee Apple Cider. Other guests, Who Shot Who, failed to materialise due to a medical affliction best summed up as Who Shat What? But why was Gal wearing a corset? Why was Tony Feedback hovering in a latex maid’s outfit? And who is secretly giving Wattsie Watts the benefit? For the answers to at least two of these questions, you’ll have to listen to Total Rock... *We have politely declined an offer to appear at a big Stuff the Royal Wedding Festival next April. Said Fat Col “It’s not so much that we love the Royals, more that we hate the scruffy middle class bastards who hate them.” Besides it’ll muck up our street party. *XMAS song of the season, ‘Merry Christmas My Arse’ by All Time Low. * Blondie singer Debbie Harry has revealed that she once accepted a lift from notorious psycho-killer Ted Bundy. Debs says that she once got in the mass murder’s jamjar in the early 1970s and sensed something was wrong when she saw the vehicle had no door handles on the inside. She told The Currant Bun: "The hairs on the back of my neck just stood up, I pulled the door handle from the outside. He tried to stop me by spinning the car, but it helped me fling myself out. Afterwards I saw him on the news. Ted Bundy." For the shocking story of what happened when Debbie gave Gal a lift (to a Specials gig) in New York in 1980, you’ll have to steal a copy of Bushell On The Rampage... Dec 9. Motorhead's new banker-bashing single 'Get Back In Line' is out next Tuesday. In the vid, the band gate-crash a bankers' club and batter them with fists, a baseball bat, and trays of broken champagne flutes. After the raid, Lemmy slams a 'Fuck the Establishment' card into a game of blackjack. The lyrics include lines like 'We live on borrowed time/Hope turned to dust/Nothing is forgiven/We fight for every crust.' Yeah. And we wish you a merry Xmas too, Lem. The song comes off the band's new album, The Wörld Is Yours, which is being packaged in a Classic Rock Presents Motörhead fan pack, on newsstands from Wednesday. It's a 132-page mag plus the entire album on CD. It comes out as a regular CD on Jan 17th. Fat Col says that he too would like to fuck the establishment as long as he can start with Baroness Warsi. Watch a live version here. If only Stockbroker Belt were around to record a rebuttal... * Our good mates Bad Manners headline the 02 Islington Academy on Thursday 23rd December; supported by Max Splodge and the extraordinary Monkish. Tickets 15sovs a pop. Dec 8. Here's the new Social Distortion single 'Machine Gun Blues' as played live on Monday night's Jimmy Kimmel TV show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Dg3wHfr8Rc A little bit more interesting than Katie bleedin' Waissel, no? *Ah, the power of this blog page. After our moan about the delays on the Oi comp yesterday, our old mate Ecke from Contra got in touch to assure us that the album will definitely be released "at the end of February". We are currently taking bets on the year. The new artwork is by the excellent French subculture comic artist Alteau. *Can it be true? Terry Hayes is now said to be abandoning Wizard Rock after one of the band contracted Hogwarts? "I see myself now more like Ronan Keating," said the WM before we nodded off. Well he certainly says it best when he says nothing at all. One thing is for certain: Tel makes his big TV debut later this month, and Lord knows what this will do to his head. He's already as vain as a Louis XIV courtier. Dec 7. It seems that it’s bad news on the 30th anniversary Oi album front. As you know, Contra Records have been delaying the release date all bleeping year. It was going to be February, then April, then May, then July... Finally they assured us that the album would be out this month - next week in fact. But there has been an ominous silence for some time now, and when our emails were ignored we asked our German associates to do a little digging on our behalf. And it seems they are now planning to release the album at the end of March 2011 (making it a 31st anniversary album!). The latest reason being given for the delay is the cover artwork. Gal apologies to all the bands involved, but the situation is out of his control. We’ve got the biggest names in Oi the whole world over on board for this great project – even the Badoes! - and we’re all being dicked about. Poor show, chaps, poor show. Anyone got a number for Taang? Dec 6. Not wind, nor snow, nor sleet, nor ice could derail the weekend’s Festivus knees-up. The traditional Pranksters’ Yule celebrations took place at a private farm in East Sussex. It was a two-tent event; one tent devoted to what the profane might term “proper” bands, and the other featuring the return (by popular request) of the very worst variety entertainers ever to grace a Pranksters’ stage. These included: Piano Peg, the 62-year-old sex siren with lips like a burst Frankfurter who led the beery throng through a singsong of Cockney toe-tappers! Exploited-Swing who re-interpret Wattie’s greatest hits in the style of a Vegas crooner! And Sid the Lip, the Frankie Flame tribute act who bills himself as having “half the talent, twice the hair” (so that’s technically two hairs, right?). Punk magician Maudlin also returned, looking as relaxed as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs as he botched trick after trick. Think Tommy Cooper without the laughs. Sadly skin-bird dance troupe Lonsdale Libido were snowed in, so the evening was rounded off by comic Dirty Rob who was bluer than Dot Branning’s varicose veins. It was, said Waistrel: “a ceaseless onslaught of vile, barbarous and oafish frivolity.” While Terence Hayes (WM) branded the night “a complete and utter shambles as always.” And to think the fools in the other tent were watching real groups like the Blades and Leah McCaffrey. Pah! Sunday saw other returning favourites including fortune teller Septic Peg, a flute band calling themselves the Sons of Stoner, and Pox Factor – the punk and oi re-creation of TV's X-Factor. As the event drew to a drunken close, Brother Big Dan raised a glass to absent Pranksters (Johnson, G; Rouman, R; Pete the Print; Del the Butcher, the Bishop of Soho, and Butterfield, G – not seen since the 90s) followed by the Loyal Toast. The weekend finished with a blinding punk and ska disco before the traditional ceremonial burning of the EU flag. To order brethren. For England! For liberty! For the love of Kiria! Until the next time, so mote it be. Dec 5. Record noos: The Rejects are in the studio next week working on their long awaited new album. The Slackers’ new single ‘New Year’s Day’ is out on Tuesday. Pearl Jam’s next album, Live On Ten Legs, includes covers of songs by the Ramones, PiL, MC5, The Who, the Dead Boys and Joe Strummer. (Wot? No Misogynes?) *Interesting, although possibly out of place on a punk rock blog site, but anyway here goes - the very left-wing English Liberation Front has just issued a statement partially supporting the EDL. The deadly serious clandestine organisation note that “most of those who falsely dub the EDL ‘fascist’ are middle class juvenile leftists” (who) “only get out of bed to cynically get into bed with reactionary clerical fascists.” ELF themselves stand for “nothing less than an English revolution.” They call for “armed resistance to the EU, secession and a declaration of independence”. Although frankly we can’t see it happening. G. K. Chesterton once evoked the spirit of the “people of England that never have spoken yet”, but given all that we’ve gone through over the last thirty years, the fact that still no-one has said a bleeding dicky-bird, makes us suspect that the people have developed collective laryngitis. What was that about hanging on in quiet desperation? No more heroes any more. Dec 3. Gal has started demoing songs for his solo album, provisionally entitled ‘Beyond The Minge’. His PA, Fit Bird ,tells us that the album, due out next Autumn, will “mix Ska, punk, unconventional rhythms and nutty humour.” It will also feature “guest appearances from top-flight names”. The album will come with a free bonus CD of rare audio recordings. Confirmed songs are believed to include ‘Mungo Jingo’, ‘Becky’s Bucket’, ‘Love Radio’, ‘England In My Blood’, ‘Bertie Bingo’, ‘Threes Up’, ‘Orgasm Guerrilla’, ‘Noble Ox’, ‘You Know You Love It’, the title track, ‘The Boys’, ‘Dreamland’ and ‘Avoid The Vexation Of Women’. *The Bridgehouse reunion knees-up takes place in Covent Garden today - although it seems unlikely that the South London and Essex contingents will be able to battle in through the snow. Some kinds of report may follow, but not for a few days, as our buxom web-mistress has been kidnapped by the mischievous Phil Mogg... Dec 2. No, we don’t have a release date for the new album yet. Don’t blame us! The German record company are harder to get hold of than Kate Middleton’s telephone number. Whatever happened to Teutonic efficiency? * The Streetdogs kick off a European tour next month in Antwerp (14th January), with just two UK dates at the Camden Underworld and the Bell in Derby. Supports are The Mahones. The tour ends in Stuttgart on February 2nd. Dec 1 Work has begun on a definitive Story Of Oi book and the publisher wants YOUR pictures for it. If you have any decent pix of Oi bands and fans from 1979 – 1983, email waistrel@the-gonads.co.uk and we’ll pass on your details. * Our mate King Hammond and his rude boy mafia play The World’s End, Finsbury Park, London, N4 on Friday. Support: The Skanx. Tickets £5. What news of the Badoes, asks their fan? It seems the band’s reunion may hit the bumpers due to the WM’s plans to move into Wizard Rock. The long-haired Hayes has taken to wearing a cape and is believed to have told Dom and co that he wants the Badoes’ debut album to be called Never Mind The Warlocks and feature tracks like ‘Hey Little Witch Boy’... * Clash stalwarts Mick Jones and Paul Simonon are working on a new biopic based on the recording of their 'London Calling' double album. They’ll be exec producers on the movie, written by playwright Jez Butterworth, which starts filing in 2011. Not sure what the title will be. Possibly The Year We Turned Into The Rolling ’Kin’ Stones...
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