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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation.
As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

April 28. Here is the picture the street-punk world has been waiting years to see... it’s Lee Wilson of Infa Riot at the bar. Note his pained look, the strain in his face, the minute drops of sweat forming on his left temple and the general feel of harassment as the Arfur Daley of Wood Green prepares himself to actually get a round in (well okay, two pints for £5.84 – it was a Wetherspoon’s). Experts who have studied and verified the photograph claim that this scene is as rare as a seven-headed snake. “Like seeing a copy of Amazing Spiderman issue one on sale in your corner shop,” said one, after being treated for shock.

The Gonads Website
Each dawn he buys – Lee at the bar is shocked to find white fivers are no longer legal currency

The Gonads Website
Jubilation: the mysterious White Russian leads the bar
in celebration of the event dubbed “the miracle of Baker Street”

April 27. Gal recorded his brand new Sounds of the Streets podcast today, with guests the Featherz and the debonair Lee Wilson from the popular beat combo Infa-Riot. Tracks include brand new ditties from The Brompton Mix, Neville Staple, The Business, City Saints, Admiral Sir Cloudsley Shovell, Madball, King Hammond, The Q, The Senton Bombs, The Bermondsey Joyriders, Chris Pope, and Nick Welsh. It should be up and running by May 2nd.

Meanwhile, Scottish tattooist Ashleigh Webb has just completed this splendid bit of ink: the 30 Years Of Oi album covered wrapped around a discerning punter’s Scotch peg... The original was drawn by the great French artist Alteau Salvation. Ashleigh works out of Rebel Ink in Aberdeen.

The Gonads Website

In an unexpected serious turn The Jolly Pranksters have today launched a campaign to erect a blue plaque on the childhood home of the recently deceased Tony Gray, formerly of anarchic comedy group The Alberts. An ashen-faced Effete El tells us: “The Alberts were pioneers of surreal music, and a huge influence on Monty Python and Prankster lore. Their gigs were full of random explosions, trumpets, jokes and beards. They were awesome.” The campaigners seek to erect a Heritage plaque at the home Tony grew up in, in St Mary Abbots in West London. So mote it be.

Out now: Oi! This Is Streetpunk! Volume 4 from our mates at Pirates Press, who have also released the latest six-track Street Dogs/NOi!se split single...

Ravishing Wattsie Watts calls to tell us that the moon landing was faked, adding rationally “I’m very open-minded, I believe in ghosts but not the moon landing.” Other things Wattsie believes in are thought to include fairies, aliens, Big Foot, life after death, Father Christmas, record company advances, Nessie and Colin Gannon. Things she knows aren’t real: Higgs Boson, human genomes, quantum mechanics, atomic gasses, neutrons, and household bills...

Hey, Ska fans – have a butcher’s at the SkaGate line-up for this July:

The Gonads Website

Hats off to hard-rocking Brummies Nightblade who played the 100 Club last night despite guitarist Dave Parrish’s work accident - a steel box fell off a wall and opened up his leg from knee to ankle on Wednesday night. Lesser bands would have pulled out, but Dave soldiered on like a trooper. What a geezer!

April 26. Calling our legions of New York readers: our fraternal muckers Maninblack are back at the notorious Double Down Saloon in Manhattan next Wednesday (Walpurgis Night) for their annual free performance. This year they are joined by special guest Freya Wilcox, DJ Black Dalek and the promise of Geek Trivia with prizes during the intermission. 8pm kick-off.

Out now: The Movement’s ‘Outrage’ ep, a caustic slice of high energy rock drawing on such fine influences as The Jam, The Who and The Clash. The look is Mod, the message is Marx. It’s Hallam’s wettest dream made real. The Copenhagen three-piece ask: Why live life like a sheep? Anyone? Fat Col had no answer but he did mumble something about knowing a Welsh farmer who rears them.

April 25. Quick reminder. It’s Reggae Punk Monday at London’s renowned 12 Bar Club in three days time, which promises an “insatiable blaze of musical incitement” with DJ Segs Jennings from the Ruts, The Duel and the Gongs and various other herberts.

The Gonads Website

April 24. Our latest album Built For Destruction is ‘strong and varied’, according to the latest Vive Le Rock. Reviewer Shane Baldwin notes that ‘C’mon Motherfucker’ and ‘Dogging In Dartford’ are ‘upbeat pop punk, like early Ramones’, and calls ‘Glorious’ ‘an uplifting Cock Sparrer-style sing-along with surging terrace backing vocals.’ Built For Destruction is available from our shop page, or if you’re in Europe, from Randale Records.

Meanwhile we have decided to shoot pukka videos for a few of our songs, so if you fancy being in one of them get in touch.

April 23. Happy St George’s Day! Pranksters attending tonight’s big event in That Kent Place are reminded that proceedings kick off at 7.30pm sharp. Dragons optional. Cheers!

April 22. And lo, the Punk Rock Curry Club did descend on the mean streets of Royal Tunbridge Wells. The party included Tony Feedback (ex-Upstarts), Animal, Mrs Animal (Sophie), Steve Whale and his recent bride Nicole, Mandy from the Crows with hubby-to-be Chelsea Dom, and Gal and Mrs Gonad (Leah McCaffrey). The hardcore foodigans convened at the Ragged Trousers pub (named after Robert Tressell's novel) in the Pantiles where they drank to absent friends - John King, Geno Blue, Manic Esso, Fatty Lol, and the water-bomber of old Berlin, Lee Wilson - before moving on to the Kirthon restaurant... Next time? Euston! To order brethren... just pick something off the menu.

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April 21st. Reminder to all Punk Rock Curry Club members - the St George's Day knees-up is TONIGHT from 7pm. You know where. Cheers!

And to those who can't join us, if you ever needed an incentive to carry on drinking...

The Gonads Website

Here's a taste of the new Razorblade album. Warri-warri-ors!

April 20. The Top Ten Prankster moans heard at the Beltane Braces event so far this weekend: 10) Beer too dear 9) Keep getting mistaken for Fat Col 8) Wife also getting mistaken for Fat Col 7) Security man strip-searching me at closing time 6) Finding out there is no security man 5) 4am: Ska disco ends; 4.15am: noisy early morning ‘fracking’ starts 4) Drunken quiz team co-members insisting Bo Diddley’s real name was Squiddly 3) Col and other fat bastards coming down to breakfast in string vests 2) EU flags burning too quickly 1) PM forgetting to turn up. As usual.

Out now from Six Feet Under Records: Evil Conduct’s double album, Oi! Scorchers – their greatest hits to date, all re-mastered and served up in a gatefold sleeve; ‘Demain’, a 7-inch ep from Hard Times – re-recordings of four of the French bands’ oldest songs; Oxymoron’s debut LP Fuck The Nineties... Here's Our Noize! - Oxymoron's from 1995 re-mastered with a gatefold sleeve by Sucker, new photos and an 18" x 24" poster.

Random news: Pete Townshend is hoping to release new Who material with the band. He told Billboard he’ll be sifting through unreleased songs to see if there’s enough for a new album... Jello Biafra has appeared on Fuse TV’s Crate Diggers series talking out his love for classic albums by Creedence Clearwater Revival, Blue Oyster Cult, Hawkwind and The Stooges. (Wot? No Slade? No Purple? No Lizzy? No Sabs?). It’s bound to be on-line somewhere soon.

April 19. Street Sounds have asked us to run this message for them: ‘We will be running small ads for the first time in Street Sounds issue 7, which will be published on May 6th. This will give everyone - bands, promoters, labels and individuals - the chance to advertise in the magazine for just £15. Each ad is 122mm wide by 88 mm deep. You can pay via PayPal – we’ll forward payment details on receipt of your artwork, which should arrive no later than April 25th. Please send final PDF artwork to: Every issue of Street Sounds is seen by at least 2,000 people. Thank you. The Street Sounds Collective.’ Fat Col’s suggestion of a lonely hearts column (and we’ve cleaned that up) have mercifully been ignored. Next issue is due out in early May.

April 18. Long Good Friday. Great news! We have officially started putting together The Gonads Greater Hits Volume Three: The Complete Cobblers. The fifteen track extravaganza will be available on CD, vinyl and download and will come with two brand new Gal/McMighty songs – ‘Better Land’ and ‘Let Us Rise’ - as well as the full length version of ‘England’s Glory.’ More details to be announced. Meantime, Gal and Clyde are likely to start recording together again in Cyprus this Summer.

April 17. Black Flag’s Greg Ginn has settled his legal battle with Flag. Guitarist Greg, who founded Black Flag in 1976, began legal proceedings against his former band mates last August but they have now reportedly settled out of court. His lawyer Evan Cohen told Billboard: “Flag gets to be Flag, and Black Flag as it is presently known continues to be Black Flag.” Although singer Ron Reyes recently left BF (or was fired, according to our sources).

April 16. AC/DC have officially confirmed that Malcolm Young is taking a break from the band due to ill-health, but state that contrary to rumours ‘the band will continue to make music’. You’re in our prayers, Malcolm.

April 15. The great Dave Wakeling called Nads HQ last night to warn us of the dire consequences of the “four blood moons” coming earth’s way – a consequence of total lunar eclipse. Speaking from California, the English Beat star explained that many religious sects see the phenomenon as a sign of a forthcoming “world-shaking event.” The effect is caused as the Moon passes into the deepest part of the Earth’s shadow (the umbra), with the sun’s rays refracting through our atmosphere leaving only the red portion to reflect on the Moon’s surface. Four consecutive blood moons (known as a tetrad) are rare, and are seen as “significant” by many – including the Pranksters. The first happened last night with no noticeable effect (apart from WWIII about to kick off in Ukraine – Ed). Prankster scholar Effete El tells us “There is a sense within the Brotherhood that things are changing, and that we’ll see things mankind has only dreamt of.” Blimey. Perhaps Scoops will get a round in, perhaps Wattsie will write her review, or perhaps the Chosen One (Kiria LePink) will materialise in person... we can but dream...

Meanwhile, hopefully before the world ends, the new Business e.p. is released by Randale on the 19th on vinyl and as a digital download. The vinyl version is limited to 250 brown copies, 250 orange and 500 black. It comes in a gatefold sleeve plus lyrics. Track listing: ‘Back In The Day’ b/w ‘Cuts Like A Shard’ and ‘Here Is Johnny.’

We hope this is just a rumour... an Aussie radio station has sparked fears that AC/DC are set to jack it in. 6PR radio today reported that the legendary head-bangers are about to call it a day due to one member being seriously ill – this was later rumoured to be Malcolm Young. The station quoted an anonymous source saying “AC/DC members have previously made a pact that no band members will be replaced should someone need to leave the band. No more is currently being said, however the particularly ill member of AC/DC's son has stated that AC/DC may well be over.” A band spokesman refused to comment. The band are/were due to start recording their new album next month in Vancouver. They had also being planning a 40-gig tour to celebrate their fortieth anniversary.

Meanwhile, in Connecticut... Tin hats on chaps – TNT is back! End of August...

The Gonads Website

April 14. To order brethren. Next weekend’s big Pranksters Convention, Beltane Braces, will take place at that East Sussex place. For details of the serious aspects, brothers are instructed to consult their Tylers. On the entertainment front, as well as Ska DJs, a geezer rock band (Doily Lark), a scooter ride-out and the usual bonfires, contests and side-shows, the merry brethren will also be treated to the first public performance of the street-punk play, Waiting for Hayes-O in which two forlorn characters sit in the Sydney Arms waiting endlessly for the arrival of a mysterious, some say fictional character named Terence Hayes (the Lad Himself). Our theatre critic notes: ‘To the logical Garibaldi, the repeated promises of Hayes to turn up each weekend “with a bottle of decent red” is a cast-iron guarantee and he cannot understand why the rascal never materialises. If he is the rational adult in this existential vaudeville act, the goofy Gannon is the irrational flatulent child who obeys his instincts and acts spontaneously. He is Jerry Lewis, Mr Bean or South Coast Steve - the eternally innocent child, sweetly guileless in a hostile universe where the weak are routinely victimized by the strong. (As demonstrated when, before last orders, the writer brings on the sadistic Sporrell demanding pints and “chasers” with a frightening intensity.) These cosmic clowns are two sides of the same coin, partners in the tragicomedy we call life. Every Sunday they wait patiently but in vain for the arrival of Hayes who despite text message assurances and verbal confirmation never ever turns up. And although these friends sometimes contemplate adding wrist-slashing to their witty repertoire, they survive from one week to the next in the time-honoured London way by trying and failing to “pull” Brenda, the barmaid.’ (‘A hoot!’ – The Stage; ‘Groundhog Day for bastards’ – Mirror; ‘I laughed until my rectum imploded’ – New Statesman) Tickets from Brighid. Alban Arthan.

April 13. The Gonads would like to officially “refute, knock back and kick into touch” any suggestion that this great band are calling it a day. We can officially confirm that a new Gonads album, the SkaNads debut album and the Clyde Ward collaboration album are ALL still happening and that the Gonads will play gigs after August “as long as they are interesting.” We are also up for split singles with “nifty” (a technical term) bands around the world. Noted physicist Professor Phil Phee-Fettler goes on: “Just because not much appears to be happening, it doesn’t mean nothing is happening. The Gonads are like a duck on a pond, above the water calm and relaxed, below the water peddling like billy-o.”

Random guff: The Blades are back in the studio shortly... The latest Maximumrocknroll (no 372) is out now including a Scottish scene report and chats with Italy's Eu's Arse, Macedonian punks XAXAXA, and Alert! Alert! from Poland... and finally, if you’re coming up to Rebellion, the weekend ticket discount deal, currently £130 for weekend ticket, runs out on 30th April. After that it goes up a Commodore. You can buy direct from Rebellion Festivals by cheque or postal order, with no booking fee – or by phone with a credit card. All details here.

STOPPRESS: Fat Col’s ex-wife Janette has joined the chorus of disapproval fuelled by his foul Facebook comments, calling him “all mouth, no trousers.” Janette also threw in the withering put-down: “Twelve inches? He might make that in centimetres – when he’s excited, which isn’t often.” Ouch. You live by the pork sword, Colin, you die by the pork sword. So mote it be.

April 12. Bad news chaps – the Gonads USA tour is now officially postponed. It won’t be happening this Summer. Our Stateside guitar star Jay ‘Tripod’ Letendre says: “It breaks my heart as I put a lot of effort into this, and a lot of fans were looking forward to it, but a couple of the band couldn’t get the time off work without losing their jobs.” Gonads spokesberk Fat Col issued the concise statement “Double gutted.” But New York guru and visionary André Schlesinger put it all in perspective by simply stating: “Mothers and fathers of children across American thank you!”

A few of you have asked whether Gal’s new book Riff-Raff Rebels & Rock Gods will only be available as a download. We’re told that plans are afoot for a kindle edition, a limited edition paperback and possibly an audio CD version later this year. Full details when we have them.

Meanwhile here’s the link to buy ‘The Revenge of World Cup Willie’ - All together: ‘The lion lad stood next to Bobby Moore... ’

In fan art news, here’s a tasty new Rejects tatt by our favourite ink maestro, Darryl Gates of Soho...

The Gonads Website

In Vinyl News, the Dead Kennedys’ Original Singles Collection vinyl box-set is available again via Manifesto Records, including the seven DK 7" singles and detailed liner notes. It costs 50 bucks or in real money, 310 Chinese Yuan. Meanwhile Fat Wreck Chords have reissued the first three Strung Out albums, Another Day In Paradise, Suburban Teenage Wasteland Blues, and Twisted By Design; they are also available in a 3 x CD + DVD box-set succinctly called Volume One.

Where next for the Gonads? Who knows? For the moment, we’re told that Gal has put The Gonads’ Greater Hits Volume Three: The Complete Cobblers on hold and is refusing to commit to gigs beyond August this year, stoking fears that Farmer Phil’s Festival will be our farewell show. The SkaNads debut album is a work in progress but the band have “no immediate plans to gig”, and all other recording projects are in stasis. “The Septic knockback was a major blow,” according to Martin Sporrell (aggressive Gooner). “Especially after the Krauts fucked us about.” He goes on: “The band are at a creative, emotional and personal crossways, well not so much a crossways as a bleedin’ spaghetti junction.” While Gannon moans: “We are more on hold than the Virgin switchboard.” Fat Col is grumpier than ever at the moment having been officially reprimanded for “cyber-stalking” Wattsie Watts. Apparently the oaf has proposed marriage, and made comments on her Facebook page along the lines of “If you want to be ‘Badly Done’ you know where to come”, “I’ve got twelve inches but I don’t use it as a rule” and “Go blonde again and you’ll have a chance with me.” His crimes, though minor, “add up to harassment,” according to a stern-faced Waistrel – and that’s his job.

April 8. Gal’s new audio book Riff-Raff, Rebels & Rock Gods is on sale now. Subtitled, Confessions From The Glory Years Of Sounds, it packs in six whole hours of memories from a time before Simon Cowell when rock was real and pop was genuinely exciting. The cast of characters includes Ozzy and Iron Maiden unleashed in the USA, Hanoi Rocks in India, the Angelic Upstarts’ notorious prison gig, Rose Tattoo on the road, the Specials in New York, the Exploited in Berlin, The Selecter in Dallas, Ritchie Blackmore in Finland, Twisted Sister rampaging around Covent Garden, the Cockney Rejects in Custom House, Judge Dread in Hamburg, Max Splodge in Texas and those legendary hell-raisers UFO – all for £7.50! Follow this link to download it straight to your computer

The Gonads Website

In other news, the brand new three-track e.p. from The Business is out in about a fortnight. Called ‘Back In The Day’ it features Steve Kent (ex Gonads!, ex Prole!) on guitar and will be released by Randale Records. Mick and the lads play The Flag in Watford on 19th.

Here’s the official video for the new Louise Distras single, ‘Love Me The Way That I Am’:

Random guff: that bloke from the Country Life butter ads is going to star in a new stage production of Jesus Christ Superstar. Johnny Lydon plays King Herod in the touring show, along with Brandon Boyd from Incubus as Judas and Destiny Child's Michelle Williams as Mary. JC Chasez will play Pontius Pilate. It kicks off in New Orleans in June... Peter Townshend has written a song called ‘It Must Be Done’ for US spies and wigs TV drama the Americans... This Is Hardcore 2014 will be at Philadelphia's Electric Factory in late July, tickets on sale Friday from here.

April 5. Check back here next week for details on how to order Gal’s blinding new audio book Riff-Raff, Rebels & Rock Gods... it’s slightly delayed but well worth the wait!

Available as a download from Monday: The Revenge of World Cup Willie by English Pride featuring Neville Staple, Gal, Wattsie, Stief, Martin Stewart from Bad Manners, Paul SkaNad, Sarah SkaNad, a Skarette or two, one-eyed Baz & scores of England fans. You can see the video, shot in beautiful downtown Charlton, here. Gary Barlow, eat our dust!

Hot News: the new SkaNads song ‘Rude Boy’s On The Rise’ was mixed and mastered on Wednesday, it will be released as a 7inch vinyl single by Randale in May, backed with the Girls Next Door song ‘Too Late’, and it’s the first official taster from the SkaNads’ forthcoming debut album Carry On Skanking...

Meanwhile The Gonads US are “90% likely” to play a mini tour of the Eastern Seaboard this summer... the new Louise Distras single ‘Love Me The Way That I Am’ is out on vinyl on 12th May, b/w ‘Bullets’... and Old Man Malarkey release a new 7inch single ‘Stupid Today’ b/w ‘Reeko’ (a NOFX cover) on 6th May via Fat Wreck Chords...

The Cockney Rejects’ new live DVD is out now, called Rejects By The Sea. It’s £14.99, the trailer is here. To order just email with the heading Rejects By The Sea DVD.

April 3. R.I.P. Dave Gregg of The Real McKenzies and D.O.A. fame – a great character and an all-round good egg. The Georgia Straight reports guitarist Gregg was visiting his parents in White Rock, British Columbia when he collapsed last Saturday. The Vancouver Sun reports that he suffered ‘a massive heart attack’. He died Sunday night in hospital, aged 54. D.O.A.’s Joe Keithlet writes he was ‘a genuinely nice guy and a caring human being, who had one of the most wicked senses of humour I ever came across.’ Gregg played on six D.O.A. studio albums. Our thoughts are with Cathy.