Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation. As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.
THE GONADS! CHARLTON! SOUTH LONDON! STREET ROCK N ROLL! COCKNEY CULTURE! COCKNEY ROCK! OI-TONE! SKA! BEER! CURRY! WORKERS’ RIGHTS! FLAG-GIRLS! ENGLAND! OI OI OI! THIS IS WHO WE ARE!
Our shop page is now closed. For merch enquiries email waistrel@the-gonads.co.uk
Dec 8. Here are more fine shots from Friday night, courtesy Nick Corcoran. The picture of Gal drinking beer while Shona and Carrie sing pretty much sums up the Gonads in one perfect image. Thanks to nick@sw4photography who cruelly snubbed the rhythm section, apparently in fear that JC might whip out a concealed Gillingham scarf at any moment. Once again thanks to everyone who came to the Dublin Castle. The feedback has been fantastic and we have already had to politely turn down a couple of pub gig offers for next year. It’s tough but we are sticking to our decision to only play festivals and special events from hereon in.
News! Gal last night confirmed that he is compiling an official 45th anniversary Oi compilation for release next year. It is likely to feature between ten and twelve bands from around the world, with two already confirmed. He also said he is working on a new SkaNads/GBX project and hopes to revive his Rancid Sounds radio show as early as next month. Questioned about the long-threatened Gonads Annual, he said only that he was “supervising the early stages of its development” and was unable to confirm a publication date.
In other news, Fat Col furiously condemned Wattsie Watts for refusing sing the female lyrics in Unky Bunk at Rebellion next year saying, “It’s only middle class women of a certain age who would turn down such a golden opportunity.” He went on to thunder, “What good is there in having a singer who won’t sing the lyrics? It’s as bad as having a guitarist who won’t play the songs.” The problem with this is Wattsie was never asked to co-perform the foul-mouthed number by anyone in the band. Her refusal followed a fake Rebellion 2025 set-list that was posted anonymously on our staff page. It featured 18 songs, none of which are in the current set, and stirred up a hornets’ nest of controversy. The mischief-making anonymous poster? You guessed it – Fat Col.
Dec 7. Thank you! Last night was one of the greatest Gonads gigs of all time. 23 songs in total, lots of friendly faces in the crowd, plus guest appearances from Carrie Griffiths and Si Spanner (as the fearsome FrankenSkin) on stage, and Lee Wilson and Steve Kent off-stage. Good to see old mates like Tottenham Sean, Chelsea Dom (the Grand Inquisitor) and G2. Huge thanks to everyone who came, some from as far away as Italy, France and Wales. Thanks also to Gunk and the support bands 16 Guns and Jack The Lad. You won’t see us again until Rebellion. The Gonads are now officially putting the semi in semi-retired. Oi, Oi! Here are some blurry action shots. Cheers and beers!
Dec 6. It’s showtime! It’s the final night of our mini-tour tonight at the Dublin Castle, Camden. With deep regret, we confirm that it will be our last ever pub gig. We will play the occasional festival, including next year’s Rebellion, but this is your last chance to see us up-close and personal. We’ll be playing a one-hour set, starting at 10pm. If you missed the early bird tickets, it’s £15 on the door.
Dec 4. Celebrating Wattsie’s 60th in Bexley Village last night. It’s not her birthday until the 22nd but we’re suckers for a little premature e…lation, libation, celebration, and nothing else. Honest. (Fellation would be nice, but it’s not her bag, as far as we know). The event, in OId Bexley Greek Taverna, was marred only by a vulgar birthday card message claiming to be from Gregg Wallace. Fat Col is the chief suspect which means that once again Filthy Phil will get away with it.
Big breaths! “Yeth,” she said. “And I’m nearly thixty.”
Dec 3. An emergency AGM of Club 77 yesterday condemned the decision not to play Eat The Rich at our final London pub show on Friday. The club’s acting secretary, Red Ruth McBride, said it was “concerning” that the song had been blocked by Phil McDermott and called for him to be investigated, adding that she had heard rumours that he also refuses to play Fat Cat Splat, “another song critical of the banking industry and high finance, so I have to ask is Mr McDermott, aka McBadoe, aka McDonut, a supporter of the Trump-Thatcher-Farage-Waistrel neo-capitalist, neo-colonialist, trade-war-backing corporatist hegemony?” (Eh? – Ed). An ashen-faced club chairman, Effete El told the waiting press, “Like the Gonads, this club believes in freedom of speech, freedom of thought and freedom of expression; if, however, it turns out that one member is deliberately stopping the band from playing some of their most-loved songs on dubious political grounds, then we fans believe that will require swift and drastic action.” Club members carried a vote calling for McDermott to be “suspended pending a full investigation of these allegations”. Blimey.
Dec 2. Furious Fat Col last night hit back at Two-Ton Tony Madras (from West Drayton) challenging him to a face-to-face Man Vs Food contest involving 37 different courses including a 72oz steak, Malaysian buffalo curry, three lamb burger half-pounders, 13 varieties of pie, triple-fried chips, a Max Spartan tower of popadoms, buckets of lard, more chips and even more buckets of Paulaner. Said Col, “Then we’ll see who is the real fat bastard is.” The challenge would take place “in any Plumstead pub of his choosing”.
Dec 1. The Gonads spent three and a half hours today rehearsing the special ‘all-killer, no-filler’ 20-song set for Friday’s farewell show. A tight-lipped Wattsie Watts tells the blog, “It’s a set that covers the band’s entire history, from 1977 to the present day.” Gal’s unusually good mood was put down to his personal supply of Paulaner. “’E don’t never leave ’ome without it, do ’e,” sniffs Fit-Bird. “Or ’is bleedin’ pork scratchings.”
John King has responded in a restrained manner to Fat Col’s recent anti-Human Punk diatribe. While thanking Gal for his support, JK Gonad says: “It was thought the Gonads would sell out their farewell show inside the first week, but just in case Human Punk decided to move Sham from the Friday to the Saturday, thereby clearing the decks for what is after all a very sad day for the punk world. Putting Sham, The Outcasts and Tear Up on the Saturday means the hundreds of people flocking to London for the weekend will be looking for somewhere to go on the Friday night. Until now, we assumed that would be the Dublin Castle.” A fuming Two-Ton Tony Madras (from West Drayton) adds: “Fat Col? Fat!? The man is skin and bones. Skinny Col, more like. Colin the Weed! Little Weeeed… Squeezed between Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men. Swaying to jazz funk. Why does Gal put up with this? Sounds like Col is trying to sabotage Garry’s last performance, as people would have attended just to hear John King Is A Veggie performed live!” (A band insider reports: “Many people would have attended to hear Eat The Rich live too but oddly Phil McDermott keeps finding reasons to drop it.”)
Speak of the devil… no sooner do we mention Sandie West than it turns out she has just made this teaser for her film Insidious, based on the Garry Johnson’s novel.
